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When You Begin to Accept Yourself, These 10 Amazing Things Will Happen

When You Begin to Accept Yourself, These 10 Amazing Things Will Happen

I’ll admit it. I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and gosh darn it people like me!  Okay, I don’t want to get all Stuart Smalley on everyone, but in the past, I would have never been able to say this about myself.

I’m an introverted guy who prefers to be in quiet places.

I used to hate this about myself. After all, those weren’t the guys who got all the ladies. I wanted to be that guy who everyone flocked to and paid attention to. If only I could appear more confident, THEN people would be interested in me.

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The truth is, I wasn’t using what I already had to get more of what I wanted. Instead of trying to be someone I wasn’t, I now embrace and accept the person I already am. You can too. When you begin to do the same, these 10 amazing things will happen.

1. You will see new opportunities

When you are aware of what you are really good at, doors will open for you because you are able to walk through them. Everyone has a unique perspective and something to offer the world around them. Often, we can’t see those opportunities because we are so caught up in what we should have done or who we think we should be.

2. You will become more aware of the world around you

Your mind becomes clearer and focused when you stop worrying about who you should be. You are able to help other people and see their problems as their problems, not your own. You will begin to understand the root of problems without judging them from your own perspective. You will see the world just the way it is.

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3. You will no longer see yourself as a failure

I used to believe that I was in fact, a failure. It’s as if there is one definition of failure, and I was certainly convinced I was THE definition. The truth is, we try many things in life and not everything is going to work out as we planned. Nobody gets everything right and when people do get it right, they’ve often failed many times to get to that point.

4. You will embrace the life stage you are in

I wish I realized this sooner. I used to live in the future. At any one age, I wanted to be older. Then, when I reached that age, I’d want to be another age! If only I could get to 30, I thought to myself, THEN I’d have it all figured out.  When you accept yourself as you already are, you will enjoy the life you have right now.

5. You will meet more people like you

When you stop trying to be someone else, you begin to realize that there are actually more people who share similar interests, values, and a personality like yours. It’s actually quite easy and you’ll find that people are basically the same and want the same things you do.

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6. You will attract the right person

I’m not talking about willing something to happen or sitting alone and thinking your way to love. But, when you act out of a place of acceptance, more people will begin to accept you. In other words, the right people will be attracted to you when they see your best qualities because you show them those qualities.

7.  You will stop comparing yourself to others

In the past, I wanted to be stronger, better looking, more interesting, more successful.   compared myself to people I wanted to be and when I didn’t live up to those standards, I was even harder on myself. I often forgot that the people I wanted to be like, were also people themselves and, we just don’t often know what they might also be struggling with.

8. You will be grateful for what you do have

You will stop complaining so much about everything you don’t have and will notice the little things in life that you do have. There are many people in this world who would gladly trade places with you. If you are reading this right now, you are a privileged minority. It’s hard to be grateful when you aren’t happy, but try and be grateful for just one thing that you DO have.

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9. You will live a life of abundance

The world is a big place. There is more than enough for anyone. You will begin to see where this abundance lies in your own life, because you care less about how other people view you and can focus on what matters. When you act out of a place of acceptance, life becomes more abundant in areas you never knew were possible.

10. You will love yourself, every day

This was the hardest lesson for me to learn. I thought that I needed to fix and help other people. The reality is that I needed to fix who I was. I needed to deal with my own issues before I could truly help others. Tell yourself you love yourself, even if you don’t believe it, because this is when you REALLY need to hear yourself say it.

Many of us get stuck in that place of fear, doubt, and shame that holds us back from realizing our true potential. When we can accept that we are simply human, it becomes easier to accept who we are as individuals. All of us have something to offer this massive, abundant world. Yes, even you.

Featured photo credit: Silverleaf via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on August 19, 2019

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

We live in a world that constantly tells us what to do, how to act, what to be. Knowing how to be true to yourself and live the life you want can be a challenge.

When someone asks how we are, we assume that the person does not mean the question sincerely, for it would lead to an in depth conversation. So telling them that you are good or fine, even if you’re not, is the usual answer.

In an ideal world, we would stop and truly listen. We wouldn’t be afraid to be ourselves. Instead, when we answer about how we are doing, our mask, the persona we show the world, tightens. Sometimes even more so than it might have been before. Eventually, it becomes hard to take off, even when you’re alone.

Imagine a world where we asked how someone was doing and they really told us. Imagine a world where there were no masks, only transparency when we talked to one another.

If you want to live in a world that celebrates who you are, mistakes and all, take off the mask. It doesn’t mean you have to be positive or fine all the time.

According to a Danish psychologist, Svend Brinkman, we expect each other to be happy and fine every second, and we expect it of ourselves. And that “has a dark side.”[1] Positive psychology can have its perks but not at the expense at hiding how you truly feel in order to remain seemingly positive to others.

No one can feel positive all the time and yet, that is what our culture teaches us to embrace. We have to unlearn this. That said, telling others you are ‘“fine”’ all the time is actually detrimental to your wellbeing, because it stops you from being assertive, from being authentic or your truest self.

When you acknowledge a feeling, it leads you to the problem that’s causing that feeling; and once you identify the problem, you can find a solution to it. When you hide that feeling, you stuff it way down so no one can help you.You can’t even help yourself.

Feelings are there for one reason: to be felt. That doesn’t mean you have to act on that feeling. It just means that you start the process of problem solving so you can live the life you want.

1. Embrace Your Vulnerability

When you are your true self, you can better self-advocate or stand up for what you need. Your self-expression matters, and you should value your voice. It’s okay to need things, it’s okay to speak up, and it’s okay not to be okay.

Telling someone you are simply “fine” when you are not, does your story and your journey a great disservice. Being true to yourself entails embracing all aspects of your existence.

When you bring your whole self to the table, there is nothing that you can’t beat. Here’re 7 benefits of being vulnerable you should learn.

Can you take off the mask? This is the toughest thing anyone can do. We have learned to wait until we are safe before we start to be authentic.

In relationships especially, this can be hard. Some people avoid vulnerability at any cost. And in our relationship with ourselves, we can look in the mirror and immediately put on the mask.

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It all starts with your story. You have been on your own unique journey. That journey has led you here, to the person you are today. You have to be unafraid, and embrace all aspects of that journey.

You should seek to thrive, not just survive. That means you do not have to compete or compare yourself with anyone.

Authenticity means you are enough. It’s enough to be who you are to get what you want.

What if for the first time ever, you were real? What if you said what you wanted to say, did what you wanted to do, and didn’t apologize for it?

You were assertive, forthcoming in your opinions or actions to stand for what is right for you, (rather than being passive or aggressive) in doing so. You didn’t let things get to you. You knew you had something special to offer.

That’s where we all should be.

So, answer me this:

How are you, really?

And know that no matter the answer, you should still be accepted.

Bravery is in the understanding that you still may not be accepted for your truth.

Bravery is knowing you matter even when others say that you do not.

Bravery is believing in yourself when all evidence counters doing so (i.e. past failures or losses)

Bravery is in being vulnerable while knowing vulnerability is a sign of strength.

It’s taking control.

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2. Choose Your Attitude in Adversity

You can take control of your destiny and live the life you want by being true to yourself. You can start anytime. You can start today.

You can start with one day at a time, just facing what happens that day. Most of us get overwhelmed when faced with the prospect of a big change. Even if the only thing we change is our attitude.

In one instant, you can become a different person with a change of attitude. When you take control of your attitude, you become able to better understand what is around you. This allows you to move forward.

Originally, you may have had a life plan. It could have started when you were little; you were hoping to become a mermaid, doctor, astronaut or all three when you grew up. You were hoping to be someone. You were hoping to be remembered.

You can still dream those dreams, but eventually reality sets in. Obstacles and struggles arise. You set on a different path when the last one didn’t work out. You think of all the “shoulds” in your life in living the life you want. You should be doing this…should be doing that…

Clayton Barbeau, psychologist, coined the term “shoulding yourself.’[2] When we are set on one path and find ourselves doing something different. It becomes all the things you should be doing rather than seeing the opportunities right in front of you.

But in all this disarray, did you lose sight of the real you?

It may be in our perceived failures and blunders that we lose sight of who we are, because we try to maintain position and status.

In being who we really are and achieving what we really want, we need to be resilient: How to Build Resilience to Face What Life Throws at You

It means that we do not see all possibilities of what might happen, but must trust ourselves to begin again, and continue to build the life we want. In the face of adversity, you must choose your attitude.

Can attitude overcome adversity? It certainly helps. While seeking to be true to yourself and live the life you want, you will have to face a fact:

Change will happen.

Whether that change is good or bad is unique to each person and their perspective.

You might have to start over, once, twice, a few times. It doesn’t mean that everything will be okay, but that you will be okay. What remains or should remain is the true you. When you’ve lost sight of that, you’ve lost sight of everything.

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And then, you rebuild. Moment after moment, day after day. We all have a choice, and in this moment, that matters.

You can choose to have a positive attitude, seeing the silver lining in each situation and, where there is none, the potential for one. Maybe that silver lining is you and what you will do with the situation. How will you use it for something good?

That’s how you can tap into yourself and your power. Sometimes it happens by accident, sometimes on purpose. It can happen when we aren’t even looking for it, or it can be your only focus. Everyone gets there differently.

You can rise, or you can remain. Your choice.

When the worst happens, you can rely on your authenticity to pull you through. That’s because Self Advocacy, speaking up to let others know what you need, is part of finding the real you.

There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Or sometimes, helping others can help us deal with the pain of a hurtful situation. You decide how you’re going to help others, and suddenly, you become your best self.

3. Do What Makes You Happy When No One’s Looking

Being the best version of you has nothing to do with your success or your status. It has everything to do with your Character, what you do when no one’s looking.

In order to create the life you want, you have to be the person you want to be. Faking it till you make it is just a way to white knuckle it through your journey. You have the fire inside of you to make things right, to put the pieces together, to live authentically. And Character is how you get there.

If you fall down and you help another up while you’re down there, it’s like you rise twice.

Along with attitude, your character is about the choices you make rather than what happens to you.

Yes, it’s about doing the right thing even when obstacles seem insurmountable.  It’s about using that mountain you’ve been given to show others it can be moved.  It’s about being unapologetically you, taking control, choosing your attitude in adversity and being the best version of you to create the life you want.

How do you know what you really want? Is it truly status or success?

Unfortunately, these things do not always bring happiness. And aspects of our image or “performance driven existence” may not achieve satisfaction. Materialism is part of our refusal to accept ourselves as enough. All the things we use to repress our true selves are about being enough.

“Enoughness” is what we truly seek, but ego gets in the way.

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Ego is the perception of self as outer worth. It’s not REAL self worth.

Ego represses our true self with a new self— the self of chasing ‘“Am I ever enough?”’ questions. And instead of filling our true selves with self-love and acceptance, when we “should ourselves” and chase “enoughness,” we feed the ego or our image.

It’s important to realize YOU ARE ENOUGH, without all the material trappings.

Stanford psychologist Meagan O’Reilly describes the damage of not thinking we are enough. One of her tactics for combating this is to complete the sentence,[3]

“If I believed I were already enough, I’d ____”

What would you do if you felt you were enough?

By believing you are enough, you can live the life you want.

So many fake it to try to get there, and they end up losing themselves when they lose more and more touch with their Authenticity.

Final Thoughts

By being yourself, you are being brave. By acknowledging all you can be, you tell the universe that you can until you believe it too. The steps are easy, and you are worth it. All of it is about the purpose you are leading and the passion that is your fuel.

Being true to yourself is all about mastering how to live life authentically rather than faking or forcing it. Having the life you want (and deserve) is about being trusting in yourself and the purpose you are living for. Both need passion behind it, fueling it each second, or you will experience burn out.

When you are authentic, you can call the road you walk your own. When you live your life for you and not just the results of all your actions (faking it till you make it), you can let go of what you don’t need. This clarifies and pushes purpose to you, living for something that is greater than you.

You will find that making decisions based on what will actually achieve your goals, will help you attain the life you want, and your success with each step, will allow you to enjoy the process. Good luck!

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Featured photo credit: Ariana Prestes via unsplash.com

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