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When You Begin to Accept Yourself, These 10 Amazing Things Will Happen

When You Begin to Accept Yourself, These 10 Amazing Things Will Happen

I’ll admit it. I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and gosh darn it people like me!  Okay, I don’t want to get all Stuart Smalley on everyone, but in the past, I would have never been able to say this about myself.

I’m an introverted guy who prefers to be in quiet places.

I used to hate this about myself. After all, those weren’t the guys who got all the ladies. I wanted to be that guy who everyone flocked to and paid attention to. If only I could appear more confident, THEN people would be interested in me.

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The truth is, I wasn’t using what I already had to get more of what I wanted. Instead of trying to be someone I wasn’t, I now embrace and accept the person I already am. You can too. When you begin to do the same, these 10 amazing things will happen.

1. You will see new opportunities

When you are aware of what you are really good at, doors will open for you because you are able to walk through them. Everyone has a unique perspective and something to offer the world around them. Often, we can’t see those opportunities because we are so caught up in what we should have done or who we think we should be.

2. You will become more aware of the world around you

Your mind becomes clearer and focused when you stop worrying about who you should be. You are able to help other people and see their problems as their problems, not your own. You will begin to understand the root of problems without judging them from your own perspective. You will see the world just the way it is.

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3. You will no longer see yourself as a failure

I used to believe that I was in fact, a failure. It’s as if there is one definition of failure, and I was certainly convinced I was THE definition. The truth is, we try many things in life and not everything is going to work out as we planned. Nobody gets everything right and when people do get it right, they’ve often failed many times to get to that point.

4. You will embrace the life stage you are in

I wish I realized this sooner. I used to live in the future. At any one age, I wanted to be older. Then, when I reached that age, I’d want to be another age! If only I could get to 30, I thought to myself, THEN I’d have it all figured out.  When you accept yourself as you already are, you will enjoy the life you have right now.

5. You will meet more people like you

When you stop trying to be someone else, you begin to realize that there are actually more people who share similar interests, values, and a personality like yours. It’s actually quite easy and you’ll find that people are basically the same and want the same things you do.

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6. You will attract the right person

I’m not talking about willing something to happen or sitting alone and thinking your way to love. But, when you act out of a place of acceptance, more people will begin to accept you. In other words, the right people will be attracted to you when they see your best qualities because you show them those qualities.

7.  You will stop comparing yourself to others

In the past, I wanted to be stronger, better looking, more interesting, more successful.   compared myself to people I wanted to be and when I didn’t live up to those standards, I was even harder on myself. I often forgot that the people I wanted to be like, were also people themselves and, we just don’t often know what they might also be struggling with.

8. You will be grateful for what you do have

You will stop complaining so much about everything you don’t have and will notice the little things in life that you do have. There are many people in this world who would gladly trade places with you. If you are reading this right now, you are a privileged minority. It’s hard to be grateful when you aren’t happy, but try and be grateful for just one thing that you DO have.

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9. You will live a life of abundance

The world is a big place. There is more than enough for anyone. You will begin to see where this abundance lies in your own life, because you care less about how other people view you and can focus on what matters. When you act out of a place of acceptance, life becomes more abundant in areas you never knew were possible.

10. You will love yourself, every day

This was the hardest lesson for me to learn. I thought that I needed to fix and help other people. The reality is that I needed to fix who I was. I needed to deal with my own issues before I could truly help others. Tell yourself you love yourself, even if you don’t believe it, because this is when you REALLY need to hear yourself say it.

Many of us get stuck in that place of fear, doubt, and shame that holds us back from realizing our true potential. When we can accept that we are simply human, it becomes easier to accept who we are as individuals. All of us have something to offer this massive, abundant world. Yes, even you.

Featured photo credit: Silverleaf via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on April 11, 2019

How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

Possessing strong communication skills will help you in every phase of your life. This is especially true in the workplace.

I have personally worked with several leaders who were masters of communication. A few were wonderful speakers who could tell a great story and get everyone in the room engaged. Those of us in attendance would walk away feeling inspired and eager to help with what came next. Others were very skilled at sharing a clear direction and job expectations.

I knew exactly what was expected of me and how to achieve my goals. This was the foundation of an energized and vibrant role I was in. What I have found is strong communication skills are incredibly helpful and sometimes critical in how well we perform at work.

Here we will take a look at how to improve communication skills for workplace success.

How Communication Skills Help Your Success

Strong communication skills pave the way for success in many ways. Let’s look at a few of the big ones.

Create a Positive Experience

Here are two examples of how well developed communication skills helps create a positive experience:

When I first moved to the city I now live in, I began a job search. Prior to my first live interview, I was told an address to go to. Upon arriving at the address provided, I drove around and around attempting to find the location. After 15 minutes of circling and looking for the address, I finally grabbed a parking spot and set out on foot.

What I discovered was the address was actually down an alley and only had the number over the door. No sign for the actual company. The person that gave me those very unclear directions provided a bad experience for me.

Had they communicated the directions to get there in a clear manner, my experience would have been much better. Instead the entire experience started off poorly and colored the entire meeting.

As a recruiter, I frequently provide potential candidates with information about a job I’m speaking to them about. In order to do this, I also provide a picture of the overall company, the group they might be joining, and how their role fits in and impacts the entire company.

Time and time again I have been told by candidates that I have provided the clearest picture of a company and role they have ever heard. They have a positive experience when I clearly communicate to them. Even when the position does not work out for them, often times they will want to stay in touch with me due to the open communication and beneficial experience they had during the interviewing process.

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Strong communication skills will provide a positive experience in virtually any interaction you have with someone.

Help Leadership Skills

It’s certainly a skill all its own to be able to lead others.

Being a mentor and guiding others towards success is a major hallmark of great leaders. Another characteristic of effective leaders is the ability to communicate clearly.

As I referenced above, having a leader who can plainly articulate the company’s mission and direction goes a really long way towards being the Captain of the boat that others want to follow. It’s like saying “here’s our destination and this is how we are going to get there” in a way that everyone can get on board with.

Another critical component of everyone helping to sail the boat in the right direction is knowing what your portion is all about. How are you helping the boat move towards its destination in the manner than is consistent with the leaders’ vision?

If you have a boss or a manager that can show you what it takes for not only you to be successful, but also how your performance helps the company’s success then you’ve got a winner. A boss with superior communication skills.

Build Better Teams

Most of us work in teams of some sort or another. During the course of my career, I have led teams up to 80 and also been an individual contributor.

In my individual contributor roles, I have been part of a larger team. Even if you are in business for yourself, you have to interact with others in one manner or another.

If you have strong communication skills, it helps to build better teams. This is true whether you are in an IT department with 100 other fellow programmers or if you own your own business and have customers or vendors you communicate with.

When you showcase your robust ability to communicate well with others while interacting with them, you are building a better team.

Now let’s jump in to how to improve communication skills to help you pave the way for your workplace success.

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How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

There are many tips, tricks, and techniques to improve communication skills. I don’t want to overwhelm you with too much information, so let’s focus on the things that will provide the biggest return on your time investment.

Most of these tips will be fairly easy to become aware of but will take time and effort to implement. So let’s go!

1. Listen

Ever heard the saying you have two ears and one mouth for a reason? If you haven’t, then here’s the reason:

Being a good listener is half the equation to being a good communicator.

People who have the ability to really listen to someone can then actually answer questions in a meaningful way. If you don’t make the effort to actively listen, then you are really doing yourself and the other person a disservice in the communication department.

Know that person who is chomping at the bit to open his or her mouth the second you stop talking? Don’t be that person. They haven’t listened to at least 1/2 of what you’ve said. Therefore the words that spill out of their mouth are going to be about 1/2 relevant to what you just said.

Listen to someone completely and be comfortable with short periods of silence. Work on your listening skills first and foremost.

2. Know Your Audience

Knowing your audience is another critical component to having strong communication skills. The way you interact with your manager should be different than how you interact with your kids. This isn’t to say you need to be a different person with everyone you interact with. Far from it.

Here is a good way to think about it:

Imagine using your the same choice of words and body language you use with your spouse while interacting with your boss. That puts things in a graphic light!

You want to ensure you are using the type of communication most relevant to your audience.

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3. Minimize

I have lunch with a business associate about 3 times a year. We’ve been talking for several years now about putting a business deal together.

He is one of those people that simply overwhelms others with a lot of words. Sometimes when I ask him a question, I get buried beneath such an avalanche of words that I’m more confused than when I asked the question. Needless to say this is most likely a large portion of why we never put the deal together.

Don’t be like my lunch business associate. The goal of talking to or communicating with someone is to share actual information. The goal is not to confuse someone, it’s to provide clarity in many cases.

State what needs to be stated as succinctly as possible. That doesn’t mean you can’t have some pleasant conversation about the weather too.

The point is to not create such an onslaught of words and information that the other person walks away more confused than when they started.

4. Over Communicate

So this probably sounds completely counter intuitive to what I just wrote about minimizing your communication. It seems like it might be but it’s not.

What I mean by over communicating is ensuring that the other person understands the important parts of what you are sharing with them. This can be done simply yet effectively. Here’s a good example:

Most companies have open enrollment for benefits for the employees in the fall. The company I work for has open enrollment from November 1 to 15. The benefits department will send out a communication to all employees around October 1st, letting them know open enrollment is right around the corner and any major changes that year. There’s also a phone number and email for people to contact them with any questions.

Two weeks later, we all get a follow up email with basically the same information. We get a 3rd communication the week before open enrollment and another one 1 day before it starts.

Finally we get 2 emails during enrollment reminding us when open enrollment ends.

There’s minimal information, it’s more of a reminder. This is effective over communication.

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5. Body Language

The final critical component to how to improve communication skills for workplace success is body language. This is something most of us have heard about before but, a reminder is probably a good idea.

When I am in a meeting with someone I am comfortable with, I tend to kind of slouch down in my chair and cross my arms. When I catch myself doing this, I sit up straight and uncross my arms. I remember that crossing arms can many times be interpreted as a sign of disagreement or conflict.

In general, the best rule of thumb is to work towards having open body language whenever possible at work. This means relaxing your posture, not crossing your arms, and looking people in the eye when speaking with them.

When you are speaking in front of others, stand up straight and speak in a clear voice. This will convey confidence in your words.

Conclusion

Possessing strong communication skills will help you in many facets of your life and most certainly in the workplace.

Good communication helps create better teams, positive experiences with those we interact with, and are critical for leadership.

There are numerous tactics and techniques to be used to improve communication skills. Here we’ve reviewed how to improve communication skills for workplace success.

Now go communicate your way to success.

More Resources About Effective Communication

Featured photo credit: HIVAN ARVIZU via unsplash.com

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