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What Millionaires Want, Other Than Money

What Millionaires Want, Other Than Money

Some millionaires are missing out on some of life’s great treats. Money, it seems, cannot buy them contentment, health or real friendships. There are, of course, lots of happy millionaires but a fair number of them are not really happy or connected.

The ideal income is only $75,000 a year, according to a Princeton University study. Anything beyond that is no guarantee of emotional well-being!

According to the Hurun report on China’s Rich List, the top five have as much wealth as Microsoft. But this has not automatically brought them happiness. For example, 35% of female Chinese millionaires are either divorced or unmarried. This is twice the number of their male counterparts.

Wondering what millionaires want? Here are some of their wishes:

1. They want genuine human contact

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    Karl Rabeder used to be a millionaire but gave away all his money because it was making him unhappy. He sold everything, gave the money to charity and now lives in a modest mountain chalet in Austria. He has also kept a mini apartment in Innsbruck.

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    He decided to do this because he felt that the high lifestyle was false and it was impossible to connect with real people. He also felt guilty when he witnessed poverty. He could not help thinking that he was somehow complicit in the world’s inequality. Now, he is much happier.

     2. They want their lives to have meaning and purpose

     I’ve got all the money I could ever dream of, but have nothing in my life that really excites me.

    – Anonymous Australian millionaire

    This millionaire wanted psychotherapy because his life lacked meaning and purpose. He was no longer able to become passionate about his relationships, hobbies or community involvement. After a few months of therapy, he felt happier. He had learned how to regain contact with nature, value his family time and become involved in community work. He felt less disconnected than before and that his life had some pleasure and purpose again.

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      3. They cannot enjoy any privacy

      Juan Rodriguez regrets winning the lottery because he now cannot go out without meeting people who either owe him money or want to owe him money! He cannot enjoy any privacy when he goes out and his life is very boring because he only has dogs for company and he no longer trusts even his own family.

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      Financial consultants say that with sudden wealth, the winners are very likely to ruin their lives in trying to cope with it. There seems to be high burnout rate among lottery winners.

      4. They wish they had looked after loved ones better

      Money will not change how healthy you are or how many people love you.

      – Warren Buffett

      Many self-made millionaires wonder what went wrong. They seem to have dropped the ball while they were so busy making all that money. They forgot to live life to the full and cherish their loved ones. When they ended up as super rich celebs, they suddenly found their lives were rather empty.

      As Warren Buffett says, the most important assets we own are our families, friends and partners.

      5. They wish they could trust people more

      Millionaires have plenty to worry about. They are always worried about who they can trust. They are concerned that friends may turn into sharks because of their wealth. They worry that their children may squander their fortune.

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      Alan Nunn won the Texas lottery and is generally fairly happy with his active and meaningful life. But one thing really worries him all the time: he doesn’t know whom to trust. He loves his sister but feels he cannot trust her.

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        6. They worry about their safety

        Many millionaires have to lay out considerable sums to protect themselves, all their properties and their loved ones. They live in fear and worry about robbery, violence and burglary, not to mention kidnappings.

        A Sicilian woman was very happy when she won £79m in the Italian lottery. But consumer groups made such a fuss that her identity was revealed. She had to go into hiding because she feared that the Mafia would come calling.

        7. They want to work

        It becomes an illness because you don’t have to support yourself, you don’t have to decide on a career, and you don’t have to worry about whether you can afford to do something, and it can become incredibly disempowering. It’s very bad for your self-esteem. You don’t feel as if you’re succeeding. You feel like a fraud, in fact.

        – Sara Robin, ex millionaire.

        Sara Robin inherited a huge fortune. She had a car at university and found that she gave lifts to everybody as a sort of penance. But the quote above reveals her unease with not having to really work for a living. She was missing out on so many things. She solved the problem by reinventing herself and set up a bike co-op. She also decided that her fortune was an encumbrance and she gave it all away to charity.

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          8. They wish they could savor the present moment

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            Did you know that 15.5% of the people in Singapore are millionaires? In the USA, that figure is only 4.5% while Switzerland is 9.9%. The interesting thing is that the Singaporeans are among the unhappiest people of the world and they come further down the list than people in Iraq, North Korea and Afghanistan.

            The problem many millionaires face is that they cannot step back from their rush to invest and save their money or give it to charity. They are thinking that this is the path to happiness and that there will be a long journey ahead. They become so absorbed in this that they can never savor the pleasures of life now.

            Let us know in the comments whether wealth could really change your life for the better and how you would cope with all the problems money might bring.

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            Featured photo credit: Mark Zuckerberg Keynote – SXSW 2008 /kris krug via flickr.com

            More by this author

            Robert Locke

            Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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            Published on May 4, 2021

            How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

            How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

            They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

            In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

            How to Spot Fake People?

            When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

            Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

            1. Full of Themselves

            Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

            Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

            2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

            Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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            It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

            3. Zero Self-Reflection

            To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

            Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

            4. Unrealistic Perceptions

            Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

            A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

            5. Love Attention

            As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

            6. People Pleaser

            Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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            Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

            7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

            Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

            8. Crappy friend

            Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

            It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

            The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

            How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

            It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

            There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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            1. Boundaries

            Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

            2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

            Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

            3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

            If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

            4. Ask for Advice

            If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

            Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

            5. Dig Deeper

            Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

            Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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            6. Practice Self-Care!

            Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

            Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

            Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

            Final Thoughts

            Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

            We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

            More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

            Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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