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What Everyone Could Learn From Suddenly Quitting A Job

What Everyone Could Learn From Suddenly Quitting A Job

Quitting a job you’ve held for so long can be intimidating and liberating at the same time. Yes, there’s a feeling of excitement because you’ve just broken free of something you didn’t really like participating in. But at the same point in time, there’s also a feeling of anxiety because the moments after quitting a job can seem unknown and vague to you. At the end of the day, though, quitting a job, like any other life event, can reward you with life lessons you might not have known if you hadn’t quit your job:

1. Whatever you do, there’ll always be someone who’ll judge you.

If you’re still staying at your job, notice your family, your acquaintances and your work colleagues will have comments on the way you live your job. If you’re already quitting a job, the same scenario applies. People close to you will have something to say.

So, instead of thinking of what other people would say about you, choose to ignore their hurtful remarks and live the life you’ve always wanted. People will still judge you whether you’re happy or not. If worse comes to worst, wouldn’t you rather be happy and judged, than unhappy and judged?

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2. Time spent on something you value is never wasted.

Contrary to popular belief, time, not money, is the most precious commodity around. Don’t stay in a job that makes you stressed and unfulfilled for the sake of earning money. You can always earn the money you’ve spent, but you can never earn the time you’ve wasted.

3. Your personal growth can be found outside your comfort zone.

Being an employee has its double-edged benefit: you have a routine you can follow every day. Yes, it’s predictable and it’s already tested to give you results that are already enough. But it’s also a bad thing in a way that it won’t make you reach for more, when you clearly have the potential to be greater than what you already are. Don’t settle for just “enough” when a little “extra” could bring you more and enable you to help other people more.

4. Your purpose in life should define your actions.

You were sent here in this world to accomplish a purpose in life. You owe it to yourself to find out exactly what that purpose is. Your purpose isn’t to get stuck in traffic, go to your job, get back home and repeat the same cycle all over again. You were made for much greater things – all of us are! After quitting your job, try and explore your passion in life. More often than not, that passion can link you to your life purpose.

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5. If you want something bad enough, don’t just wish for it. Really make it happen.

Don’t depend on other people to reach your dream for you. That wishful thinking won’t get you anywhere! Put a deadline on your dream. Think of small action plans you need to accomplish. And then do them one step at a time. Think: if you can’t do something now, there’s a big chance you can’t do something tomorrow. Do it now before you regret it.

6. Everyone has to start at something.

If the only thing holding you back from quitting a job is your idea you have to start from zero yet again, then don’t let this stop you. All the highly successful people you see now were a nobody in their starting years. Hard work, perseverance and a never-die attitude made them into who they are today. Don’t look at those lotto millionaires or “celebrities” who became famous overnight. Instant success does not start very long. It doesn’t mean very much either.

7. Maturity starts when you’re willing to be responsible for your own actions.

Only think about quitting a job if you, not because your parents, your siblings, your partner or your neighbors, say so. Be accountable for the decisions you make, because every action always has a succeeding circumstance. Playing the blame game with people doesn’t make you seem immature – it makes you seem weak-minded, too.

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8. In life, you only learn the lessons after you’ve taken the test.

The thing we should take note about in life is we need to experience something first before we learn its lesson. This way, the emotions are raw and the urge to not let something happen again is so strong we do everything in our power to not commit the same mistake again.

9. Your plan is not necessarily going to become a reality every time.

No one can tell you for sure what will happen to you, should you push through with quitting your job. Also, as much as you’ve prepared for it, something you haven’t prepared for will always happen eventually. Your plan that looks amazing on paper may not look the same in real life. Sure, planning for quitting a job is recommended. But, don’t be afraid to stray off your plans once in a while.

10. Flexibility is always a handy trait.

Since we’ve mentioned your plan doesn’t come true all the time, being flexible ensures you can easily stand on your toes again after getting through a setback. You know what they say:

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“The bamboo that bends with the wind is stronger than the oak that resists it.” Japanese Proverb

11. Don’t find time for something. Instead, make time for it.

Prioritize the things that matter to you by making time for them. With today’s world being more occupied with being busy rather than being productive, finding time for your priorities is paramount. Should you drop the job, or should you keep it? Ultimately, the decision lies with you.

Featured photo credit: dave_stressed_001.jpg/click via mrg.bz

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Last Updated on January 15, 2019

How to Talk to Strangers Without Feeling Awkward

How to Talk to Strangers Without Feeling Awkward

Many of us feel awkward talking to strangers. I’m a very outgoing person, even though I sometimes feel uncomfortable walking up to someone and asking a question or starting a conversation. I consider myself pretty high up on the extrovert meter. So what is it that makes us pause and become worried or anxious about talking to people we don’t know?

In this article, we will discuss why we feel this way as well as some tips on how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

Step right up, don’t be shy!

Why We Feel Awkward Talking to Strangers

The next time you feel uncomfortable talking to a stranger, tell yourself that’s completely normal. There are numerous reasons why it’s actually natural to feel awkward talking to strangers:

Our Stress Levels Rise Around Strangers

Numerous studies have show that our levels of cortisol go up when we are around strangers.[1] Cortisol is the hormone inside of us which produces stress responses.[2]
So there you go, right off the bat you can see part of your standard response to strangers is due to a chemical reaction!

A very interesting by product of increased cortisol is that it makes us less empathetic. More than likely this can be traced to our evolution. The increase in the cortisol and the corresponding decrease in empathy makes us want to stay away from strangers. We are biologically wired to feel concern around strangers.

Evolution Taught Us to Be Wary

Evolution has also taught us to be wary of strangers in general. Humans as a whole have spent a large chunk of their history banded together in small protective groups. We did this in order to help protect each other and maximize resources.

When you think about it in this context, outsiders to our small groups or strangers are considered potential threats. Fear of strangers is common across almost all human cultures.

Culturally Conditioned

We can also thank our society for helping us feel uncomfortable and sometimes afraid of strangers. The term “stranger danger” is something most of us can relate to either growing up or raising kids. Or both.

I remember hearing this from my parents, mostly about not getting in someone’s car I didn’t know. And as the father of 2 teenage girls, you can be sure I’ve talked to them about this very concept more times that they want to hear.

The thought that strangers can be dangerous is built into us as it is. Toss in the amplification of the media on strangers doing things such as kidnapping kids and it takes it to an even higher level.

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Now that we’ve reviewed some of the reasons why we are nervous, let’s look at why you should talk to strangers more.

Benefits of Getting over the Awkwardness

Let’s take a quick look at some of the advantages of how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward. These are some high level benefits of talking to strangers.

1. Broadens Your Network

After you talk to someone, you didn’t know previously they become someone you know at least a little bit. This alone helps broaden your network of people you know. This is helpful in many ways whether it is work related or socially related.

2. Improves Your Communication Skills

I am a huge proponent of the value of solid communication skills and have written about it often. The more you talk to people, especially people you don’t know, the better your communication skills become.

Interacting with a wider variety of people will bring the added benefit of improving your communication skills.

3. Continually Learning

So many of us don’t actively seek to learn new things. This is one of the primary keys to staying engaged in life and our own personal self fulfillment.

Almost every time I speak to someone I didn’t know previously, I’ve learned something new. When we speak to strangers, it pushes us out of our comfort zones and we tend to learn new things.

4. Increases Self Confidence

Every time we learn to do something we were previously anxious about, we feel better about ourselves.

Forcing ourselves to talk to strangers will lead to increased self confidence. As we get more and more comfortable doing something that previously made us feel awkward, our self confidence will go up and up.

So, how to talk to strangers to reap these benefits?

How to Talk to Strangers

Here are some tips to on how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

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1. Say Hello

Putting “say hello” first may seem a bit obvious but let’s take a deeper look. Much of the social awkwardness when speaking to strangers is simply breaking the ice. The first words that will engage someone.

Most people will respond when someone says hello or hi to them. And those that don’t, you probably don’t want to talk to anyway.

Practice being the person that opens the door to a conversation. Say hello.

2. Ask About Them

Something that I have noticed over the years is that people love to talk about themselves. Even fairly private people tend to open up when asked about events in their lives.

You can ask leading questions that get people to talk about themselves and recent events. Things like recent movies watched or the summer vacation are great to get someone talking.

As a father, I also know that people love to talk about their kids. Asking about kids is a fairly easy topic to bring up and in general, most people will expound upon all the great things their kids do or are involved with.

3. Just Do It

One of the biggest reasons we don’t do things we want to or know we should is because we overthink it. Quit thinking about it so much and just do it.

When you give yourself the time to analyze every little angle about a situation, you also give plenty of time to talk yourself out of it. You’ll wind up thinking what if this happens or what if that happens.

Try to force yourself to jump right in without thinking about it too much. Whenever I have done this, I always feel great about it afterwards, no matter how it turned out.

4. Don’t Take It Personal

One of the greatest lessons in life I ever learned was don’t take anything personally. We all go through life with our own sets of experiences and see things through our own lens. The way people react to different situations has almost nothing to do with us. It has to do with previous experiences and the way people feel about things other than us.

When someone’s reaction isn’t what you’d hoped or expected, chances are it has nothing to do with you. Remember that and keep it in context.

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5. Get a Chuckle If Possible

I used the word chuckle purposely because it makes me laugh. In my opinion, it’s one of those funny words. We all like to laugh because it makes us feel good. And when someone makes us laugh, we typically remember those people in a positive light.

One of the best ways to make a conversation easy and free flowing is to get some laughter going. It doesn’t mean you have to be the master joke teller or anything. See if you can work in a way to make the person you are talking to get a smile or some laughter in. In fact, laughing at yourself maybe a nice try.

6. Detach

A great feeling is when you don’t mind which way something turns out, that you will be fine no matter what happens. Kind of like when I watch my two favorite football teams play against each other. I don’t really care who wins, I just want a fun game.

Treat talking to strangers the same way. You don’t really care how the conversation goes because you are detaching from the outcome. Make it a fun time with yourself and if the conversation goes well, awesome! If not then no big deal, move on.

7. Share Your Stories

Well, all like to feel connected to other people. And many times we wind up hanging out with people that we have things in common with. No surprise here.

To help with how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward, tell stories that have commonalities with the person you are talking to. Kids are an easy one. I have a daughter who was a competitive cheerleader and now plays club volleyball. I have instant connection and stories with strangers I speak with who have kids that play sports. It’s easy to relate to.

So when you are speaking to a stranger and you have a story or mutual connection point, bring it up.

8. Give a Compliment

Almost everyone likes hearing a compliment, whether they admit to it or not. As a general rule, we don’t give out enough compliments. It’s amazing how one small remark someone tosses your way about how good you look can literally make your entire day.

When you are speaking with someone you don’t know, see if you can work a compliment in. Nothing creepy here. Not a good idea to tell someone you just met that they are the prettiest or handsomest person you ever met. However, if you can share how you like their tattoo or shoes or something like that, it will help put the conversation into an easy going, smiling place.

9. Relax Your Body Language

If you go into a situation all worried and nervous, it shows on your body. Your shoulders are tensed up, there’s a look of consternation on your face, things like that.

When you engage a stranger in conversation, make it a point to relax your body language. Take a deep breath before you engage the person, let your body relax, and put a smile on your face. This will help relax you and it has the added benefit of putting the other person more at ease.

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If they see that you are relaxed, it helps them relax. Plus having open, engaging body language is very conducive to inviting someone to open up into a conversation with you.

10. Practice, Practice, Practice

Like everything else in life, talking to strangers gets easier with practice. The more you do it, the easier it becomes.

Make it a point to talk to several strangers each week and it will definitely help you relax as you do it more and more.

After a while, it will become something you don’t even think about, you just do it. And that takes all of the awkwardness out of being in these type situations.

The Bottom Line

As we have seen, it is perfectly natural to feel awkward talking to strangers. We are biologically built that way and we have our own society constantly warning us how dangerous it is. It’s no wonder we feel awkward talking to strangers!

There are numerous benefits to learning to be more comfortable talking to strangers. See if you can employ some of the techniques mentioned to learn how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

Once you start practicing speaking with strangers more often and utilizing some of the tips, you will become more comfortable doing so. This in turn will lead to a learned new skill and increased self confidence.

Remember, everyone you know was a stranger at one time. Now get out there and make some new friends.

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Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

Reference

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