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What Everyone Could Learn From Suddenly Quitting A Job

What Everyone Could Learn From Suddenly Quitting A Job

Quitting a job you’ve held for so long can be intimidating and liberating at the same time. Yes, there’s a feeling of excitement because you’ve just broken free of something you didn’t really like participating in. But at the same point in time, there’s also a feeling of anxiety because the moments after quitting a job can seem unknown and vague to you. At the end of the day, though, quitting a job, like any other life event, can reward you with life lessons you might not have known if you hadn’t quit your job:

1. Whatever you do, there’ll always be someone who’ll judge you.

If you’re still staying at your job, notice your family, your acquaintances and your work colleagues will have comments on the way you live your job. If you’re already quitting a job, the same scenario applies. People close to you will have something to say.

So, instead of thinking of what other people would say about you, choose to ignore their hurtful remarks and live the life you’ve always wanted. People will still judge you whether you’re happy or not. If worse comes to worst, wouldn’t you rather be happy and judged, than unhappy and judged?

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2. Time spent on something you value is never wasted.

Contrary to popular belief, time, not money, is the most precious commodity around. Don’t stay in a job that makes you stressed and unfulfilled for the sake of earning money. You can always earn the money you’ve spent, but you can never earn the time you’ve wasted.

3. Your personal growth can be found outside your comfort zone.

Being an employee has its double-edged benefit: you have a routine you can follow every day. Yes, it’s predictable and it’s already tested to give you results that are already enough. But it’s also a bad thing in a way that it won’t make you reach for more, when you clearly have the potential to be greater than what you already are. Don’t settle for just “enough” when a little “extra” could bring you more and enable you to help other people more.

4. Your purpose in life should define your actions.

You were sent here in this world to accomplish a purpose in life. You owe it to yourself to find out exactly what that purpose is. Your purpose isn’t to get stuck in traffic, go to your job, get back home and repeat the same cycle all over again. You were made for much greater things – all of us are! After quitting your job, try and explore your passion in life. More often than not, that passion can link you to your life purpose.

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5. If you want something bad enough, don’t just wish for it. Really make it happen.

Don’t depend on other people to reach your dream for you. That wishful thinking won’t get you anywhere! Put a deadline on your dream. Think of small action plans you need to accomplish. And then do them one step at a time. Think: if you can’t do something now, there’s a big chance you can’t do something tomorrow. Do it now before you regret it.

6. Everyone has to start at something.

If the only thing holding you back from quitting a job is your idea you have to start from zero yet again, then don’t let this stop you. All the highly successful people you see now were a nobody in their starting years. Hard work, perseverance and a never-die attitude made them into who they are today. Don’t look at those lotto millionaires or “celebrities” who became famous overnight. Instant success does not start very long. It doesn’t mean very much either.

7. Maturity starts when you’re willing to be responsible for your own actions.

Only think about quitting a job if you, not because your parents, your siblings, your partner or your neighbors, say so. Be accountable for the decisions you make, because every action always has a succeeding circumstance. Playing the blame game with people doesn’t make you seem immature – it makes you seem weak-minded, too.

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8. In life, you only learn the lessons after you’ve taken the test.

The thing we should take note about in life is we need to experience something first before we learn its lesson. This way, the emotions are raw and the urge to not let something happen again is so strong we do everything in our power to not commit the same mistake again.

9. Your plan is not necessarily going to become a reality every time.

No one can tell you for sure what will happen to you, should you push through with quitting your job. Also, as much as you’ve prepared for it, something you haven’t prepared for will always happen eventually. Your plan that looks amazing on paper may not look the same in real life. Sure, planning for quitting a job is recommended. But, don’t be afraid to stray off your plans once in a while.

10. Flexibility is always a handy trait.

Since we’ve mentioned your plan doesn’t come true all the time, being flexible ensures you can easily stand on your toes again after getting through a setback. You know what they say:

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“The bamboo that bends with the wind is stronger than the oak that resists it.” Japanese Proverb

11. Don’t find time for something. Instead, make time for it.

Prioritize the things that matter to you by making time for them. With today’s world being more occupied with being busy rather than being productive, finding time for your priorities is paramount. Should you drop the job, or should you keep it? Ultimately, the decision lies with you.

Featured photo credit: dave_stressed_001.jpg/click via mrg.bz

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

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