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Want To Live A Happier Life? Here Are 11 Unmissable And Positive Habits.

Want To Live A Happier Life? Here Are 11 Unmissable And Positive Habits.

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” — Dalai Lama

Having a happier life is something we all always strive for, and being happy encompasses so many aspects—mental, physical and spiritual—of our lives.

One of the key foundations of having a happier life is to be consistent in doing things that manifest happiness. It is important to cultivate the right habits to ensure we live a happier life. Some people do it well while others don’t. What’s good to know is that everyone can be happy by incorporating some powerful habits into their daily lives.

What I’ve learned from being happy is that no matter how bad our days get, happiness can be found, especially when we consistently try to consciously be happy.

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Consider these 11 habits to enhance your life and make it as happy as you possibly can.

1. Surround yourself with people who matter.

It’s amazing how much the people around us can affect our emotions. As quoted by Jim Rohn, “We are an average of the five people we spend the most time with.” Spend more time with people who matter and remove those who do not have a good and positive impact on your life. These people with positive, happy energy can bring happiness into your life just because you’re constantly surrounded by them.

2. Learn how to relax when setbacks arise.

We do not live in a perfect world. Some days are great; some days are not. Some days we think; some days we relax with a good book. Some days, the buses run extremely late, and you swear you’ll never take the public transport ever again. Accept the fact that that things may not go as planned. Instead of trying to change something you can’t, focus your energy on changing something that is within your control.

Check this out: The 5-minute Guide To Meditation: Anywhere, Anytime.

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3. Laugh in the middle of a busy day.

It’s 3 PM on a Friday afternoon and you’re desperate to leave the office. On top of the work you have, you’re running close to a super important deadline. Instead of blaming everything not going your way, take a moment to laugh. Ever wondered why Friends is entertaining to watch? Because they make jokes no matter how life is going down, something we should do more often, especially on a busy day.

4. Do not compare yourself to others.

Measure your own successes based on your progress, and only yours. All of our lives are unique, and no one is better than any one else. Try not to think that you are better than anyone else as it promotes unhealthy superiority and can be detrimental to your happiness.

5. See that colleague in the beautiful new dress? Compliment her.

Everyone loves compliments, including that colleague who just walked in on a Monday morning in a beautiful dress. Being kind to others, like passing random compliments, is contagious and most importantly, it makes people happy, boosting self-esteem and confidence. Don’t be afraid to tell people how great they look, or how awesome their smile is. It’ll do good for them, and you!

6. Stop trying to please others.

It’s tiring and you will soon run out of time to please yourself, period.

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You may also like: 10 Ways To Always Be Yourself And Live Happily

7. Focus on the present moment.

Take some time every day to focus on the present moment; it is the only certain time we have in our life. Try not to think about the negative past experiences and embrace the time you have now. You’ll soon find that even the slightest thing that you do at this moment can bring about happiness for many hours and days to come.

8. Easy, Tiger! Learn how to control your emotions and reactions.

It’s not worth the punch when a co-worker is trying to be funny. It’s not worth the argument when your partner is testing your patience. And it’s definitely not worth the emotions. Don’t compromise on your happiness just because someone is trying to pick a fight. Like Disney’s Frozen, Let It Go and be happier.

9. Find time to workout regularly and eat well.

Exercise can produce tons of feel-good hormones—endorphins, serotonin and dopamine just to name a few. These hormones can help avoid some symptoms of stress and depression. Feeding your body with whole and nutritious foods, on the other hand, can positively impact your body in both the short and long term. Find time to schedule in a workout even if it’s only thirty minutes and do something you love. Eat well because food that are good for you can help you stay focused and more energized, and happier as a whole.

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Also on Lifehack: 7 Things You Should Stop Doing When Trying To Be Healthy

10. Learn how to accept constructive criticism.

No one is always right. Other people may have better judgement, experience and knowledge than you do. If you’ve made a mistake, learn how to accept it and the constructive criticism that comes along with it. Put your ego aside because it won’t do any good to your happy factor.

11. Sit cross-legged, be silly, and do something fun.

In other words, be child-like. Ever wondered why children are always so carefree and happy? That’s because they don’t have anything to worry about. Try to set aside a few hours a day bringing your inner child out and focus on doing something fun just for the sake of it, and for the sake of making yourself happy.

What other habits do you practice to live a happier life?

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Last Updated on March 30, 2020

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

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1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

2. Be Honest

A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

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If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

4. Succeed at Something

When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

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6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

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In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

Final Thoughts

When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
[2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
[3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
[4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
[5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
[6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
[7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
[8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

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