“When you wish upon a star, Makes no difference who you are, Anything your heart desires will come to you.” – “Pinocchio,” Walt Disney Pictures, lyrics by Ned Washington
Well, maybe it’s not quite as simple as merely wishing our dreams to come true but this life we lead comprises a series of wishes that are transformed into goals. Think of every step taken as inching us a bit closer to our desired results. Each step connects and builds upon the other. But you never set out on any course until you know where you want to go. If you did, who knows where you might end up! You have to have some vision of where you want the journey to flow. Your personal vision lays that foundation and will illuminate the path before you.
And what is a personal vision? It describes what you want in the future. Your vision signifies your dreams and starts to scratch the surface of your life purpose. When you build a vision that makes you feel happier, healthier, more successful, purpose driven, and filled with passion, you are more likely to set a plan into motion to make that vision become reality.Advertising
And what’s the difference between vision versus wishes? Living your life without a vision is like walking in the darkness. You’re going to bump into a lot of things. When you have a vision, it gives you a clear and positive direction. But remember, a vision without goals is just a wish.
3 Easy Steps to Turn Your Vision into Goals
Here’s the million dollar question: What if your life stayed the same over the next five years with no new changes? Do you like that idea, or does it scare the bejesus out of you? If you don’t have a warm and fuzzy feeling about that, don’t think you are stuck with that reality.
Today’s dream is tomorrow’s reality and here’s how you make that happen:Advertising
1. Imagine without limitations
Stephen Covey said, “All things are created twice. There’s a mental or first creation, and a physical or second creation of all things.” So, here’s how to start the mental creation or vision. Grab a pen and paper. Find a peaceful place without distractions, perhaps pour a glass of wine, put on some music and think … just think.
Imagine that you are 80 years old. You’re happy and healthy. You are sitting on your porch watching an amazing sunset. As the sun dips for the evening, you start thinking about your life, the ideal life that you have led. What does that ideal life look like?
Answer these questions:Advertising
- Who are you as a person? What is it about you that people value?
- What are your values?
- What have you achieved? Where did you work? Where did you live?
- What added meaning to your life and gave you a sense of fulfillment?
- How did your life unfold in these areas: family, friends, significant other, career, health, your emotional and spiritual wellbeing?
- Where did you travel? What did you do for fun?
- What advice would you pass on to a younger generation?
- What is your life story? What kind of life did you lead?
- What is your purpose in life?
- What is your favorite memory in life?
2. The Current Reality
Once you have answered all of the questions above, take a look at the questions again and answer them. This time answer them just as it is in the present day. Describe your life now. This is not an exercise to make you feel bad or inadequate. You simply need a starting point. You have to know where you are so you can get to where you want to be. This helps you chart that course.
3. Fill in the Gaps and Make Your Vision Successful
After you conduct your assessment, the areas between the reality and the vision are the gap areas. The only way to be successful in your vision is to continually visualize it, set goals, and develop a plan of action to reach your vision. Have both short-term and long-term goals so that over time you start to see more parts of your vision coming true. Then, one day, you will wake up and find that you are living your vision in real-time.
It’s not as hard as you might think to close the gap. Start with a plan that covers the next three to five years. For example, if you have envisioned obtaining your master’s degree, you have to diagram out a way to do that. How much money will it take? Which school? How long will it take? What type of schedule adjustments will you need to make? What will you study?Advertising
You have to plot out all of the action plans — or the step-by-step process — you will need to go through to meet this goal. For each of the envisioned goals, you will have to devise a plan. Once you do that, you are ready to go. It’s one step at a time. One goal at a time.
Be inspired today. Find a quiet setting where you have a few moments alone and start imagining without limitations!
Last Updated on November 18, 2021
10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character
We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.
A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.
So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:
- kind and compassionate
- capable of taking the blame
- able to persevere
- modest and humble
- pacific and can control anger.
The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.
1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?
All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.
But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.
2. Can you witness acts of kindness?
How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?
I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.
“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”
Abigail Van Buren
3. How does this person take the blame?
Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.
4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.
You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.
5. Read their emails.
Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:
- Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
- Frequent errors may indicate apathy
- Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
- Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
- Too many question marks can show anger
- Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of people still use them.
6. Watch out for the show offs.
Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity! Another person to avoid.
7. Look for evidence of perseverance.
A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.
Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.
8. Their empathy score is high.
Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.
People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.
9. Learn how to be socially interactive.
We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.
“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”
10. Avoid toxic people.
These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:
- Envy or jealousy
- Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
- Complaining about their own lack of success
- Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
- Obsession with themselves and their problems
Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.
Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?
Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com