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Top 5 Ways Your Partner May Be Hiding Secrets from You

Top 5 Ways Your Partner May Be Hiding Secrets from You

The longstanding movie-enhanced image of fairy dust being sprinkled over a couple in true love is indeed quite romantic. These days, however, an alarming number of relationships aren’t quite so picture-perfect. Couples therapy expert Esther Perel concurs, saying that “When I entered marriage I bought into the whole romantic package. I want my husband to take care of everything. I want to never feel anxious again, never feel a fear of abandonment. It’s the complete merge model. But that’s very different than the millennials I work with.”

As most people are aware, trust is the most important ingredient in making a relationship work. Oftentimes though, there’s cause for concern where it’s not unreasonable to suspect your partner of hiding secrets from you. The secrets your partner might be hiding from you could range from something as innocuous as opening your mail to something sneaky like having a secret bank account to something as deathly serious as infidelity with your neighbor. It’s never been as easy as it is today for your partner to keep secrets from you; so easy, in fact, that you won’t believe the types of things partners sometimes hide from one another.

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    With all of this in mind, we have compiled a list of the top 5 ways that your partner may be hiding secrets from you. If the integrity of your relationship matters to you, it is worth your while to be on the lookout for telltale signs that something may be amiss so that you can address these issues and resolve them amicably.

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    1. Think your partner likes your food? Think again!

    It is often said that “the way to a man’s heart goes through his stomach”. In other words, serve him some great food and you will win his love. Many ladies enjoy cooking for their men, but whether the guys actually love the cooking might be up for debate. Plenty of men can not stand the taste of the cuisine their partners feed them but adopt a diplomatic approach and compliment the food anyhow. Unbeknownst to their partners, however, these men might be discarding the homemade cuisine in favor of take away food.

    Think that could never happen to you? Next time your man comes home, ask him whether he enjoyed the lunch you made for him to take to work. Then interrogate him with some follow-up questions about the food. If you have left him dinner in the fridge because you were out for the night, ask him about that too the next day. If you think your partner might be hiding a secret or concealing the fact that he does not like your food, you should be certain that it is worth your while to prepare it for him in the first place!

    Life Hack 2

      2. Your partner went Where?

      Naturally, you and your partner ought to be spending a lot of time together. Of course, as individuals we are all entitled to some “me time”. Then again, there should certainly be limits as to the activities you engage in alone. This concept may be a foreign one to your partner though or, worse still, he might be taking unfair advantage of time away from you. For all you know, while your partner could be telling you that he’s just having a night out with the guys, that night could have been out at a gentlemen’s club or spent enjoying the company of women.

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      On a far lesser scale, it might seem to you like your partner has become a little “extra eager” to take the dog out for walks or head to the park often with your kids. While it’s certainly possible he’s just being nice and trying to give you some time of your own to chill and relax, he might also be engaging in other activities you are unaware of. At the other end of the spectrum, he might even hint at you and him taking separate holidays from one another. Especially if it is the first time he has ever brought up something like that, you might want to investigate where precisely he wants to go and if there’s some sort of ulterior motive he’s got going on. If you notice a sudden, or even gradual, change in your partner’s routine that allows him for more time away from you, it’s not unjustified to start suspecting that he’s hiding something from you or that there may be cause for concern.

      3. More money, more problems?

      In many relationships there’s a division of labor and chores. This often means that just one of the two partners takes responsibility for money-related issues. If that person is your partner, then perhaps you should consider paying a little extra attention to what’s going on in the bank account.While your credit card may not indicate any suspicious activity in the form of purchases you don’t recognize, if your partner is hiding something money-related from you he may be doing so in cash. Check your bank balance once in a while to see if you notice any out-of-the-ordinary ATM withdrawals. If you do happen to notice your man walking around with more cash than usual, it would not hurt to ask why he’s carrying it all around.

      Beyond that, if you have got a partner who is determined to hide some secrets from you, it is not unreasonable to think that he might have a separate bank account you are not aware of. Maybe he is channeling funds in there to support a recreational gambling habit he thinks you would not approve of? And if you think this is impossible, as you would otherwise find evidence like gambling software on the computer, think again. Many gambling operators offer up an instant play casino platform which would allow someone to play while not leaving tracks. To be fair, it is possible that your partner is hiding something from you, money-wise, because he wants to buy something nice for you without you knowing about it in advance. In fact, there are even how-to articles online that give guys tips for how to keep that surprise from you. So if you notice a little money missing from the piggy bank, it might not be all that bad and you should certainly consider discussing the situation before initiating a hostile confrontation.

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      Life Hack

        4. Nothing to see here, we are just Browsing

        When it comes to Internet browsing and other online activities, modern-day technology has made it possible to hide things pretty easily. Thus, it’s not uncommon to wonder if your partner might be using these technologies to hide secrets from you. Some of the measures he might be taking to ensure you remain blissfully unaware of his online activities include the use of private browsing, as well as the creation of fake user profiles with which to visit certain unsavory corners of the Web.

        If you are pretty certain that your partner does not engage in such activities from their home computer, it still does not mean that he is not utilizing mobile technology for these purposes. For instance, there are ways of hiding apps on your Smartphone, and the fact is that if your partner has gone to the trouble of using technology to conceal things from you as far as his online surfing habits go there is no telling what he might be up to when you’re not around or not looking over his shoulder. While no partner should automatically suspect their significant other of impropriety, the bottom line is that technology makes it easier than ever before to hide secrets and live separate existences.

        Life Hack 3

          5. Is that “eau de mystique” I can Smell?

          Too many bad habits can be malodorous. If your partner is engaged in some of those bad habits and wants to keep them a secret from you, there are many ways he could be masking their smell. For instance, if you notice that he’s recently taken up the habit of chewing gum or suddenly starts carrying breath mints around with him wherever he goes, he might be trying to hide a new smoking habit from you. So if your partner suddenly walks into the house at the end of a long workday smelling as fresh as a daisy or as though they have bathed in cologne, this might serve as a warning flag for you. Sure, he may just be refreshing himself after a tiring or challenging day, but it does not take too much imagination to wonder if he might have been engaging in other activities while at the office or out inthe town with friends.

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          This is especially true with activities that carry with them another person’s fragrance that he may be trying to hide, while a sudden change in your partner’s behavior is also liable to be questioned. With this in mind, keep your wits about you and commit to using all of your senses to see if your partner is hiding something from you. Your instinct is also important, and you should not be afraid to raise issues that are causing you concern in a frank, calm and proactive manner.

          Life Hack 4

            The Bottom Line

            Naturally, we would encourage partners to be fully open with one another through the course of their relationship. If you do suspect that your partner is hiding something from you, we do not advocate confronting them about it right away, or in an overly aggressive manner that prevents them from responding adequately. Trust in a relationship is sacred and can be difficult to repair if breached. For that reason, it may be worth your while to follow these steps to confirm your suspicions about your partner before actually making a move to do something about it.

            Featured photo credit: Eddy Van via flickr.com

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            Last Updated on December 2, 2018

            7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

            7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

            When giving a presentation or speech, you have to engage your audience effectively in order to truly get your point across. Unlike a written editorial or newsletter, your speech is fleeting; once you’ve said everything you set out to say, you don’t get a second chance to have your voice heard in that specific arena.

            You need to make sure your audience hangs on to every word you say, from your introduction to your wrap-up. You can do so by:

            1. Connecting them with each other

            Picture your typical rock concert. What’s the first thing the singer says to the crowd after jumping out on stage? “Hello (insert city name here)!” Just acknowledging that he’s coherent enough to know where he is is enough for the audience to go wild and get into the show.

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            It makes each individual feel as if they’re a part of something bigger. The same goes for any public speaking event. When an audience hears, “You’re all here because you care deeply about wildlife preservation,” it gives them a sense that they’re not just there to listen, but they’re there to connect with the like-minded people all around them.

            2. Connect with their emotions

            Speakers always try to get their audience emotionally involved in whatever topic they’re discussing. There are a variety of ways in which to do this, such as using statistics, stories, pictures or videos that really show the importance of the topic at hand.

            For example, showing pictures of the aftermath of an accident related to drunk driving will certainly send a specific message to an audience of teenagers and young adults. While doing so might be emotionally nerve-racking to the crowd, it may be necessary to get your point across and engage them fully.

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            3. Keep going back to the beginning

            Revisit your theme throughout your presentation. Although you should give your audience the credit they deserve and know that they can follow along, linking back to your initial thesis can act as a subconscious reminder of why what you’re currently telling them is important.

            On the other hand, if you simply mention your theme or the point of your speech at the beginning and never mention it again, it gives your audience the impression that it’s not really that important.

            4. Link to your audience’s motivation

            After you’ve acknowledged your audience’s common interests in being present, discuss their motivation for being there. Be specific. Using the previous example, if your audience clearly cares about wildlife preservation, discuss what can be done to help save endangered species’ from extinction.

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            Don’t just give them cold, hard facts; use the facts to make a point that they can use to better themselves or the world in some way.

            5. Entertain them

            While not all speeches or presentations are meant to be entertaining in a comedic way, audiences will become thoroughly engaged in anecdotes that relate to the overall theme of the speech. We discussed appealing to emotions, and that’s exactly what a speaker sets out to do when he tells a story from his past or that of a well-known historical figure.

            Speakers usually tell more than one story in order to show that the first one they told isn’t simply an anomaly, and that whatever outcome they’re attempting to prove will consistently reoccur, given certain circumstances.

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            6. Appeal to loyalty

            Just like the musician mentioning the town he’s playing in will get the audience ready to rock, speakers need to appeal to their audience’s loyalty to their country, company, product or cause. Show them how important it is that they’re present and listening to your speech by making your words hit home to each individual.

            In doing so, the members of your audience will feel as if you’re speaking directly to them while you’re addressing the entire crowd.

            7. Tell them the benefits of the presentation

            Early on in your presentation, you should tell your audience exactly what they’ll learn, and exactly how they’ll learn it. Don’t expect them to listen if they don’t have clear-cut information to listen for. On the other hand, if they know what to listen for, they’ll be more apt to stay engaged throughout your entire presentation so they don’t miss anything.

            Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm4.staticflickr.com

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