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Top 20 Signs You Know How To Love Yourself And Treat Yourself Well

Top 20 Signs You Know How To Love Yourself And Treat Yourself Well

One trait that confident, successful, happy people share is the ability to know how to fall in love with themselves and prioritize their self-care. When Richard Branson looks in the mirror he sees a winner.  How many of these self-love habits do you have?

20. You Celebrate Your Success

You aren’t afraid to admit when you have made a mistake, mistakes are just hiccups on the pathway to success. And when you have success, you celebrate yourself. A little champagne toast, a happy dance or even a high five to the mirror is sufficient. Reminding yourself on a daily basis of all the great things you do reinforces the things you can do more of and to motivates you to keep going when success seems scarce.

19. You Know Exactly What You Like and Aren’t Afraid to Ask For It

Knowing what you want is the first step. Having a strong sense of who you are begins with knowing what you like. If you aren’t sure what you like, you can start with what you don’t like and surmise that the opposite might be your preference. Once you know what you want, be comfortable and assertive in asking for it. You never know if you don’t ask.

18. You Know Your Strengths & Weaknesses

A self-actualized person is attuned to both their strengths and weaknesses. They use their strengths and find a team to support them in their weak areas. I know I am an idea person and my husband is great at planning so together we are both more capable than apart.

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17. You Have a Strong Sense of Purpose

People who love themselves and take care of themselves have a great capacity to recognize their purpose or dharma and act on it. If you are feeling like you are lacking direction or purpose, spending some time on self-care is an excellent way to re-boot your connection to purpose and recharge your energy to keep moving forward.

16. You Have Strong Connections

When you love yourself, others are attracted to this energy like moths to a flame. This allows you to develop strong bonds with friends and family. According to positive psychology expert Dascher Keltner, people who have strong social connection are happier.

15. You Enjoy Feeling Strong Emotions

You might be overwhelmed by a cheesy commercial or by seeing an elderly couple holding hands at the mall. These emotions feel great and rather than suppressing them you have learned to love them, recognizing that how you feel is your body’s way of telling you what you want or don’t want in life.

14. You Listen To Your Body

You don’t follow the latest diet craze but you do recognize what feels good for you both physically and emotionally and you prioritize what feels right to you.

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13. You Trust Your Gut Feelings

Part of listening to your body is trusting your intuition. When you have a gut feeling you trust it. You understand that your own hunches are usually spot on even when they fly in the face of popular opinion.You know that you are your best expert.

12. You Are Not Defined by How You Look

This doesn’t mean that you don’t look fabulous. Your focus is more on how you want to feel and quite often this means you look beautiful because you feel beautiful. You exude an attractive energy that those around you are drawn to.

11. You Have A Killer Sense of Style

It might be trendy, it might be retro, it could be bold vibrant colors or chic black. Whatever your style, you wear it because you love it and this shows.

10. You Fuel Your Body with Sleep & Healthy Food

In the words of Oprah’s life coach, Martha Beck, “Rest until you feel like playing then play until you feel like resting.” You also recognize that splurging occasionally on a treat is a wonderful reward. Being healthy doesn’t mean you don’t get to enjoy an occasional chocolate treat. You know moderation is healthier than restriction.

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9. You Love Spending Time Outdoors

Nature lifts your spirits and recharges you when you are feeling drained. You recognize that a walk on the beach or in the woods feels as good for you as a massage.

8. You are Authentic

You tell the truth. This doesn’t mean you are brutally honest. It does mean that if a friend wants an honest opinion, you are the place she can get it. Authenticity feels good coming from you because you are caring, kind and compassionate.

7. You Always Admit When You Are Wrong

And why wouldn’t you?! You know that mistakes are inevitable but the fastest way to fix them is to take ownership and move on.

6. You Expect the Best

Your thoughts become your reality. By expecting the best you often get it. And you always respond with gratitude.

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5. You Don’t Hold on To the Past

The past doesn’t have a hold on you. You recognize that living in the past keeps you from moving forward. If you are exhausting all your energy holding on to old stuff, you don’t have arms wide open to embrace the present.

4. You Have Great Stories

People who care for themselves have a richly woven the tapestry of their personal history. They are proud of who they are and how they got that way. They are aware of how they have evolved and can tell inspiring stories that encourage others to keep dreaming and daring.

3. You Are Surrounded By Inspiring People

You enjoy having people in your life who love themselves and treat themselves well too. You have wonderful conversations about dreams and goals and you have an instant cheering section for your next adventure.

2. You Don’t Save Things for Special Occasions

When you get a new dress or purse, you don’t save it waiting for the “right occasion”. You recognize that now is the best time for joy.

1. You Like Who You See When You Look in the Mirror

Whether you are headed to the beach or a black-tie ball you like how you look and how it feels to be in your skin.

My favorite self-care routine is my morning meditation. And as an occasional indulgence I love a pedicure. How about you? What do you do that prioritizes YOU?

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

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