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The Top 10 Things That Could Make A Wedding a Disaster

The Top 10 Things That Could Make A Wedding a Disaster

Each wedding season, thousands of engaged couples pour significant amounts of time and energy (and of course, money) into planning their Pinterest-perfect nuptials. From burlap-wrapped mason jars to hand-painted favors, there is no shortage of ways to make the big day flawless. Despite all of the beautiful ways a wedding can go right, here are ten reasons saying “I do” could go terribly wrong.

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    Image credit:  Country Outfitter

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    1. The Weatherman is a Liar

    If you plan on having all or part of your wedding outside, there is a legitimate chance that the weather will be less than cooperative (if you live in the North West, it’s a guarantee). From unbearable heat to a torrential downpour, nothing will put a damper on festivities faster than an uncomfortable climate. In order to help combat less than ideal weather conditions, make sure to provide guests with some sort of shelter. Rental units like party tents have become a wedding staple due to their versatility, while more venue specific options (like barns or clubhouses) can be leveraged when appropriate.

    2. Running Out Of Food

    Wedding guests usually sacrifice an admirable amount of time and money in order to help celebrate your big day, so giving them a little bit of food is a much appreciated gesture (who doesn’t like gratuitous food?!). There are delectable options for any budget, from a multi-course sit-down meal to a desserts-only buffet. The trick here is to make sure to have enough of whatever you’re providing – running out of food before everybody has had a chance to eat is an uncomfortable predicament. If you will be providing alcohol at your nuptials, do yourselves a favor and give your guests something to soak the booze up with.

    3. When The Drinks Are Gone

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      Speaking of alcohol, make sure to put some extra thought into this portion of the celebration. The budget will rear its ugly head here once again, as will venue restrictions and licensing requirements. Running out of drinks too early is the physical equivalent of an awkward silence, so try to avoid it at all costs. If you’re having an open bar (send me an invite) you won’t have to worry about your wells running dry. If, however, you are buying kegs and/or wine, consider touching base with a caterer. They are experts in their field, and can offer ordering recommendations based upon your guest count. Since drinking and driving is nobody’s friend, it’s a smart (and courteous) move to make sure that there are alternative transportation options available for those who imbibe one too many.

      4. Loosing Control Over The Guest List

      The wedding guest list will haunt you long after the invitations have been sent. Deciding who to leave out and who to obligatorily add can be enough to push some couples to the edge of sanity. Choose a relaxed, neutral time and location to hash this out well ahead of the wedding day (and make sure to allow extra time for address-acquisition). Waiting for RSVP’s can be just as harrowing; by the time people decide to respond, your budget is likely running on fumes, despite still having food and drinks to pay for. To combat this, put an RSVP-by-date on your invitations to encourage invitees to get back to you in a timely manner, and make sure to keep finances in mind when you’re compiling the guest list.

      5. Not Getting Bridesmaids And Groomsmen Organized

      Bridesmaids and groomsmen play a variety of notable roles on the big day, from assisting with decorating to giving a marginally embarrassing toast that briefly mentions “that one time in Cabo…” It becomes unfortunately easy to harbor resentment (on both sides) due to disputes over things like lack of participation and/or money. Be sure to let your maids and men know (well in advance) when and how they can help. Remember – they’ve all got lives that don’t revolve around your wedding, so giving them options in advance allows them to plan ahead. Being in the wedding party also comes with its fair share of expenses, so be mindful of their budgets. Talking about money is an awkward discussion to have with anybody (especially friends), but it can prevent a strained relationship. Encourage your wedding party to be honest with you if they are encountering financial issues, and then work together to find a solution.

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      6. Family Wars

      Let’s be honest – nobody’s family is picture perfect. Whether you could give the Lohans a run for their money or make the Ozbournes blush, longstanding household issues will still exist on your wedding day. Prior to the big day, have a frank discussion with your families and emphasize that you’d like them to temporarily put their disputes aside for a few hours. This doesn’t mean everybody has to act like they love each other, but it does mean that all weave-pulling and throat punching will be put on hold. If despite your best efforts, the drama-mama-monster could still rear it’s ugly head on the day-of and if efforts to diffuse the situation (separating the feuding parties, etc.) prove futile, consider asking them to leave. The temporary scene of escorting people out is worth spending the remaining time drama free.

      7. Wedding Crashers

      First, let’s acknowledge that it takes a brave soul to stroll (uninvited) into a wedding and proceed to free-load off of the food and alcohol (not that you would know, or anything…). However, you didn’t tirelessly labor over your budget to make sure that there would be JUST enough food and drinks for your dearly beloved to have uninvited guests leech off of your supplies. In most cases, simply confronting the crasher is more than enough to encourage them to leave. If they put up any resistance, recruit some of your most intimidating guests to help drive the point home. If it turns out that Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson actually decide to show up at your nuptials,feel free to pretend that they are really a part of the family.

      8. If Time Is Not On Your Side

      For guests, there seems to be an abundance of time at a wedding; for the wedding party, there never seems to be quite enough! One of the biggest favors you can do for yourselves (and your guests) is to set a day-of events schedule. This will make sure that the wedding party is all on the same page, and it will also aid in the timeliness of your caterers/band/photographers etc. Having a schedule will also prevent a significant lull in time for guests while providing that nothing is left undone (first dances, cake cutting, garter toss, etc.). Your wedding can still have a laid-back feel (even with an agenda); the day doesn’t need to be planned down to the minute. You will likely find that the events ebb-and-flow within a half an hour (give or take) of the actual schedule; so some flexibility is key.

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      9. No Pictures Or Photos Of Bad Quality

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        Pictures are one of the most important takeaways from your big day, so make sure to plan accordingly. Hire a well reputed, notable photographer. This could be a family member, friend, or professional – just make sure that you and your fiance appreciate their style and are on-board with their work ethic. It would be a huge disappointment to have not enough pictures, poor-quality pictures, or stylistically unfavorable shots. Additionally, you can be sure that guests will be snapping pictures with their smartphones – and some of them will be great! Encourage guests to download an app like WedPics, which allows mobile users to upload and share their photos with the happy couple. When you are crafting the schedule for the day-of, make sure to allow for ample picture time. You’ll likely be around friends and family that you don’t often get to see, so make sure to snap a shot together.

        10. Ruining The Reception

        Ah, the reception. This token point of your wedding day will likely be most attendees’ favorite part. It’s also where guests will spend the majority of their time, so it’s essential to make sure that there are appropriate accommodations. If your reception is outside, ensure that there are restrooms available for guests (this could mean porta-potties) and that there is some form of shelter (as mentioned in the first point). There will be no such thing as too many trash cans- – aving to pick up after your guests sucks, so encourage them to do it themselves. Not everybody was born a dancing queen, so include plenty of auxiliary seating for those who wish to take a load off. As a newly-married couple, the reception is a perfect chance to make the rounds and greet all of the folks that made it a point to share your big day. Most importantly, the reception is your chance to soak up (and celebrate!) being married, with the people you care about the most – so make sure to live it up.

        Should you find yourself poised on the edge of a potential wedding disaster, allow these humble tips to talk you back from the edge. The most important part of your nuptials (after all) is marrying the person you love – after that, everything is gravy.

        Featured photo credit: greyerbaby via morguefile.com

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        Andrew Heikkila

        Owner-Operator of Earthlings Entertainmnet

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        Last Updated on May 21, 2019

        How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

        How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

        For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

        If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

        Example 1

        You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

        You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

        In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

        Example 2

        You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

        People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

        You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

        Example 3

        You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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        The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

        Example 4

        You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

        Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

        If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

        Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

        • Understand your own communication style
        • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
        • Communicate with precision and care
        • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

        1. Understand Your Communication Style

        To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

        In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

        Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

        2. Learn Others Communication Styles

        Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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        If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

        “How do you prefer to receive information?”

        This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

        To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

        3. Exercise Precision and Care

        A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

        On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

        Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

        I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

        I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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        In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

        The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

        Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

        4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

        Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

        In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

        “Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

        Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

        Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

        It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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        It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

        It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

        Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

        Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

        The Bottom Line

        When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

        I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

        More Articles About Effective Communication

        Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

        Reference

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