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The Top 10 Things That Could Make A Wedding a Disaster

The Top 10 Things That Could Make A Wedding a Disaster
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Each wedding season, thousands of engaged couples pour significant amounts of time and energy (and of course, money) into planning their Pinterest-perfect nuptials. From burlap-wrapped mason jars to hand-painted favors, there is no shortage of ways to make the big day flawless. Despite all of the beautiful ways a wedding can go right, here are ten reasons saying “I do” could go terribly wrong.

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    Image credit:  Country Outfitter

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    1. The Weatherman is a Liar

    If you plan on having all or part of your wedding outside, there is a legitimate chance that the weather will be less than cooperative (if you live in the North West, it’s a guarantee). From unbearable heat to a torrential downpour, nothing will put a damper on festivities faster than an uncomfortable climate. In order to help combat less than ideal weather conditions, make sure to provide guests with some sort of shelter. Rental units like party tents have become a wedding staple due to their versatility, while more venue specific options (like barns or clubhouses) can be leveraged when appropriate.

    2. Running Out Of Food

    Wedding guests usually sacrifice an admirable amount of time and money in order to help celebrate your big day, so giving them a little bit of food is a much appreciated gesture (who doesn’t like gratuitous food?!). There are delectable options for any budget, from a multi-course sit-down meal to a desserts-only buffet. The trick here is to make sure to have enough of whatever you’re providing – running out of food before everybody has had a chance to eat is an uncomfortable predicament. If you will be providing alcohol at your nuptials, do yourselves a favor and give your guests something to soak the booze up with.

    3. When The Drinks Are Gone

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      Speaking of alcohol, make sure to put some extra thought into this portion of the celebration. The budget will rear its ugly head here once again, as will venue restrictions and licensing requirements. Running out of drinks too early is the physical equivalent of an awkward silence, so try to avoid it at all costs. If you’re having an open bar (send me an invite) you won’t have to worry about your wells running dry. If, however, you are buying kegs and/or wine, consider touching base with a caterer. They are experts in their field, and can offer ordering recommendations based upon your guest count. Since drinking and driving is nobody’s friend, it’s a smart (and courteous) move to make sure that there are alternative transportation options available for those who imbibe one too many.

      4. Loosing Control Over The Guest List

      The wedding guest list will haunt you long after the invitations have been sent. Deciding who to leave out and who to obligatorily add can be enough to push some couples to the edge of sanity. Choose a relaxed, neutral time and location to hash this out well ahead of the wedding day (and make sure to allow extra time for address-acquisition). Waiting for RSVP’s can be just as harrowing; by the time people decide to respond, your budget is likely running on fumes, despite still having food and drinks to pay for. To combat this, put an RSVP-by-date on your invitations to encourage invitees to get back to you in a timely manner, and make sure to keep finances in mind when you’re compiling the guest list.

      5. Not Getting Bridesmaids And Groomsmen Organized

      Bridesmaids and groomsmen play a variety of notable roles on the big day, from assisting with decorating to giving a marginally embarrassing toast that briefly mentions “that one time in Cabo…” It becomes unfortunately easy to harbor resentment (on both sides) due to disputes over things like lack of participation and/or money. Be sure to let your maids and men know (well in advance) when and how they can help. Remember – they’ve all got lives that don’t revolve around your wedding, so giving them options in advance allows them to plan ahead. Being in the wedding party also comes with its fair share of expenses, so be mindful of their budgets. Talking about money is an awkward discussion to have with anybody (especially friends), but it can prevent a strained relationship. Encourage your wedding party to be honest with you if they are encountering financial issues, and then work together to find a solution.

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      6. Family Wars

      Let’s be honest – nobody’s family is picture perfect. Whether you could give the Lohans a run for their money or make the Ozbournes blush, longstanding household issues will still exist on your wedding day. Prior to the big day, have a frank discussion with your families and emphasize that you’d like them to temporarily put their disputes aside for a few hours. This doesn’t mean everybody has to act like they love each other, but it does mean that all weave-pulling and throat punching will be put on hold. If despite your best efforts, the drama-mama-monster could still rear it’s ugly head on the day-of and if efforts to diffuse the situation (separating the feuding parties, etc.) prove futile, consider asking them to leave. The temporary scene of escorting people out is worth spending the remaining time drama free.

      7. Wedding Crashers

      First, let’s acknowledge that it takes a brave soul to stroll (uninvited) into a wedding and proceed to free-load off of the food and alcohol (not that you would know, or anything…). However, you didn’t tirelessly labor over your budget to make sure that there would be JUST enough food and drinks for your dearly beloved to have uninvited guests leech off of your supplies. In most cases, simply confronting the crasher is more than enough to encourage them to leave. If they put up any resistance, recruit some of your most intimidating guests to help drive the point home. If it turns out that Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson actually decide to show up at your nuptials,feel free to pretend that they are really a part of the family.

      8. If Time Is Not On Your Side

      For guests, there seems to be an abundance of time at a wedding; for the wedding party, there never seems to be quite enough! One of the biggest favors you can do for yourselves (and your guests) is to set a day-of events schedule. This will make sure that the wedding party is all on the same page, and it will also aid in the timeliness of your caterers/band/photographers etc. Having a schedule will also prevent a significant lull in time for guests while providing that nothing is left undone (first dances, cake cutting, garter toss, etc.). Your wedding can still have a laid-back feel (even with an agenda); the day doesn’t need to be planned down to the minute. You will likely find that the events ebb-and-flow within a half an hour (give or take) of the actual schedule; so some flexibility is key.

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      9. No Pictures Or Photos Of Bad Quality

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        Pictures are one of the most important takeaways from your big day, so make sure to plan accordingly. Hire a well reputed, notable photographer. This could be a family member, friend, or professional – just make sure that you and your fiance appreciate their style and are on-board with their work ethic. It would be a huge disappointment to have not enough pictures, poor-quality pictures, or stylistically unfavorable shots. Additionally, you can be sure that guests will be snapping pictures with their smartphones – and some of them will be great! Encourage guests to download an app like WedPics, which allows mobile users to upload and share their photos with the happy couple. When you are crafting the schedule for the day-of, make sure to allow for ample picture time. You’ll likely be around friends and family that you don’t often get to see, so make sure to snap a shot together.

        10. Ruining The Reception

        Ah, the reception. This token point of your wedding day will likely be most attendees’ favorite part. It’s also where guests will spend the majority of their time, so it’s essential to make sure that there are appropriate accommodations. If your reception is outside, ensure that there are restrooms available for guests (this could mean porta-potties) and that there is some form of shelter (as mentioned in the first point). There will be no such thing as too many trash cans- – aving to pick up after your guests sucks, so encourage them to do it themselves. Not everybody was born a dancing queen, so include plenty of auxiliary seating for those who wish to take a load off. As a newly-married couple, the reception is a perfect chance to make the rounds and greet all of the folks that made it a point to share your big day. Most importantly, the reception is your chance to soak up (and celebrate!) being married, with the people you care about the most – so make sure to live it up.

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        Should you find yourself poised on the edge of a potential wedding disaster, allow these humble tips to talk you back from the edge. The most important part of your nuptials (after all) is marrying the person you love – after that, everything is gravy.

        Featured photo credit: greyerbaby via morguefile.com

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        Andrew Heikkila

        Owner-Operator of Earthlings Entertainmnet

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        Last Updated on July 20, 2021

        How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

        How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)
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        You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

        Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

        Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

        Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

        1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

        According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

        “Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

        Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

        Warming up

        If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

        If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

        Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

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        1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
        2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
        3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

        Stay hydrated

        Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

        To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

        Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

        Meditate

        Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

        Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

        Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

        Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

        2. Focus on your goal

        One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

        Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

        Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

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        Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

        If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

        3. Convert negativity to positivity

        There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

        ‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

        It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

        Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

        Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

        Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

        4. Understand your content

        Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

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        However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

        “No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

        Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

        Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

        One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

        5. Practice makes perfect

        Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

        In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

        Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

        6. Be authentic

        There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

        Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

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        Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

        To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

        With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

        Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

        7. Post speech evaluation

        Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

        Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

        We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

        You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

        Improve your next speech

        As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

        Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

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        • How did I do?
        • Are there any areas for improvement?
        • Did I sound or look stressed?
        • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
        • Was I saying “um” too often?
        • How was the flow of the speech?

        Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

        If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

        Reference

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