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The Differences Between Dating at 20 and at 30

The Differences Between Dating at 20 and at 30

When it comes down to it, everyone wants to be loved. However, as we age, we tend to crave contrasting things. Dating at 20 and at 30 can be drastically different, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy both periods in your life.

1. Dating

In your 20s, you’re looking for a fun date.

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    Especially in your young 20s, dating can be simply a form of entertainment. The only qualifications for an ideal date at this age is someone you can enjoy a great concert with.

    In your 30s, you’re looking to settle down.

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      On the other hand, even if you’re someone who feels too young to commit to one person, you are suddenly more aware of what qualities will make you ultimately want to settle down. It’s natural to want someone who could be more of a long-term investment when dating in your 30s.

      2. Compatibility

      In your 20s, you want excitement.

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        Similarly, when dating in your 20s you are more likely to look for a prospective partner you find exciting and engaging. Finding someone you feel a spark with is sometimes more important than compatibility when you’re young.

        In your 30s, you want direction.

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          When you’re dating in your 30s, you’re much more likely to look for someone going in the same direction as you rather than novelty value. Humor and spontaneity are always helpful in a relationship, but you are now more likely to want to someone you can have a future with.

          3. Sex

          In your 20s, you love having someone to sleep with.

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            When you’re dating in your 20s it’s also a bigger deal to have sex. Whether you sleep with someone easily or not, it’s more nerve racking and exciting to explore sexually in your 20s.

            In your 30s, you’re more aware of what you want.

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              By the time you’re in your 30s, however, having sex with someone you’re dating is less of a source of stress or anxiety. Even if you don’t sleep with someone until you’re committed, by the time you’re 30 you are much more likely to know what you want in bed and are less shy about how to get it.

              4. Appearance

              In your 20s, you want someone hot.

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                Dating in your 20s also means looking for someone attractive. Before you really know the sacrifice and friction that comes with a long-term relationship, looks can mean everything.

                In your 30s, you want character.
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                  In your 30s looks might be a consideration, but you are more likely to be drawn to qualities you know make you a better person. A hot significant other is delightful, but it is no indication of character.

                  5. Passion

                  In your 20s, you want fiery connections.

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                    In your 30s, you prefer softer desire that lasts.

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                      6. Marriage

                      In your 20s, you’re quick to think marriage could be on the cards for you.

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                        In your 30s, you want to spend much more time with someone before you can even think about settling down.

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                          7. Direction

                          In your 20s, you want similar interests.

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                            Another thing you are likely to look for when dating in your 20s is someone with the same interests. It’s just easier to have a conversation over beers if you like the same bands, TV shows, and celebrities.

                            In your 30s, you want someone with the same goals.

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                              When dating in your 30s, however, having all the same interests is less important. Now, you are more likely looking for someone with similar goals so your relationship can get you somewhere. You still love it when your significant other is passionate about the same things, but what’s really crucial in a relationship is a common drive and outlook.

                              8. Acceptance

                              In your 20s, you strive for a better body and attitude so you’ll be more acceptable.

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                                In your 30s, you know your prospective partner will love you for who you are.

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                                  9. Commitment

                                  In your 20s, you want someone caring.

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                                    When you’re dating in your 20s it’s also common to search for someone who treats you nicely. Coming fresh from dating in high school, you are all too familiar with backstabbing and false promises. Someone who is considerate makes all the difference.

                                    In your 30s, you want someone who keeps caring.

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                                      Where you used to be drawn to people who respected you, you now look for people who can keep that respect in the relationship. The first few weeks or months with someone who treats you nice are great, but younger flames tend to lose their determination to treat you well. In your 30s, a love interest who know how to treat you this nicely for years might as well be solid gold.

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                                      10. Love as a Verb

                                      In your 20s, you want someone to love.

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                                        When you’re dating in your 20s you are likely to want to fall in love. Searching for that first person to really capture your heart is a fresh and thrilling experience.

                                        In your 30s, you want someone who knows how to love you.

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                                          Though love is crucial to a healthy relationship, when you’re dating in your 30s you know love is not enough. If you are going to be with a significant other for any length of time you will need someone who wants to work with your quirks and shortcomings. Passion and compatibility are still important, but someone who works to treat you exactly the way you need is priceless.

                                          11. Friendship

                                          In your 20s, you’re blinded by love.

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                                            In your 30s, you value relationships that come from a solid friendship.

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                                              12. Growing Together

                                              In your 20s, you want someone enjoyable.

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                                                Dating when you’re younger also means looking for someone whose company you enjoy. Intelligent conversation, humor, and attitude are all essential to catch your attention at this age.

                                                In your 30s, you want someone who makes you better.

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                                                  Comparatively, by the time you are 30 you are more likely to look for someone whose company makes you a better person. By now, you have learned that many people can help you have a good time, but very few people truly move you forward and closer to the person you want to be.

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                                                  13. Responsibility

                                                  In your 20s, you want someone who gives you a thrill.

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                                                    In your 30s, you want someone who has their life together.

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                                                      14. Exes

                                                      In your 20s, you’re more likely to give an ex another shot.

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                                                        When you’re young, it’s hard to separate feelings from logic when it comes to love. When you have a solid connection with someone, you are more willing to forgive their shortcomings.

                                                        In your 30s, you know a clean break is usually best.

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                                                          As you grow more experienced, you realize there is usually a reason a relationship failed. Even though you genuinely care for the person, trying again doesn’t always make up for your inherent duelling perspectives.

                                                          15. Follow Through

                                                          In your 20s, you want someone who makes you happier.

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                                                            Another difference between dating at 20 and at 30 is, when you’re in your 20s you are looking for someone who helps you be happier in the moment. A special someone who brings a smile to your face and has a knack for cheering you up can mean the world when you are this age.

                                                            In your 30s, you want someone who keeps you happy.

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                                                              However, while dating in your 30s, you are more likely to need someone who knows how to keep you happy. Someone who cracks jokes and is sad when you’re sad is special, but doesn’t necessarily make for a relationship that lasts. At this stage you still need someone who wants to make you happy in the moment, but someone who consistently shows they appreciate you is crucial. Where younger love interests paid little attention to your work or habits, more mature love interests know to send you a message or gift for no reason. By consistently showing that they don’t take you for granted, someone you fall for in your 30s is more likely to keep you.

                                                              Featured photo credit: Leo Hidalgo via flickr.com

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                                                              Last Updated on October 18, 2018

                                                              50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

                                                              50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

                                                              Life is filled with highs and lows —happiness and struggles that will test your resilience and integrity, push you to overcome challenges and leave you with lessons that will make you even stronger on your way up.

                                                              It’s the way you feel and think about yourself, including your expectations and beliefs about what is possible to you, greatly determines everything that happens to you.

                                                              It all starts with your thoughts. When you change your thoughts, you transform the quality of your life. (Right, Nancy’s story is a typical example!)

                                                              Below is a list of the best motivational quotes to inspire you to start your day with a blast:

                                                              Quotes for self-assurance

                                                              1. Don’t downgrade your dream just to fit your reality, upgrade your conviction to match your destiny.

                                                                2. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.

                                                                  3. You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.

                                                                    4. The man who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of others

                                                                      5. You attract what you are, not what you want. If you want great, then be great.

                                                                        6. It’s not who you are that holds you behind, it’s who you think your are not.

                                                                          Quotes about positivity

                                                                          7. Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and think of what could go right.

                                                                            8. You should never regret anything in life. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it is experience.

                                                                              9. Falling down is an accident, staying down is a choice.

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                                                                                10. If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. The world needs more of that.

                                                                                  11. Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.

                                                                                    12. Don’t be afraid to give up the good and go for great.

                                                                                      13. Remember that life’s greatest lessons are usually learned from worst times and from the worst mistakes.

                                                                                        Quotes for work and success

                                                                                        14. Don’t talk, just act. Don’t say, just show. Don’t promise, just prove.

                                                                                          15. Never stop doing great just because someone doesn’t give you credit.

                                                                                            16. Discipline is doing what needs to be done, even if you don’t want to.

                                                                                              17. Work while they sleep. Learn while they party. Save while they spend. Live like they dream.

                                                                                                18. The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire, not things we fear.

                                                                                                  19. Never apologize for having high standards, people who really want to be in your life will rise to meet them.

                                                                                                    20. If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.

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                                                                                                      21. Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it, time will pass anyway.

                                                                                                        22. Don’t fear failure. Fear being in the exact same place next year as you are today.

                                                                                                          23. A hill is just another opportunity to leave your competition behind.

                                                                                                            24. Don’t quit. You’re already in pain. You’re already hurt. Get a reward from it.

                                                                                                              25. Hustle until you no longer need to introduce yourself.

                                                                                                                26. You didn’t come this far only to come this far.

                                                                                                                  27. Be selective in your battles for sometimes peace is better than being right.

                                                                                                                    28 If we keep doing what we are doing, we’re going to keep getting what we’re getting.

                                                                                                                      29. You will never know your limits until you push yourself to them.

                                                                                                                        30. Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do.

                                                                                                                          31. The man on top of the mountain didn’t fall there.

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                                                                                                                            32. If your dreams don’t scare you, they are not big enough.

                                                                                                                              33. If you can’t handle stress, you won’t manage success.

                                                                                                                                34. Don’t be pushed by your problems, be led by your dreams.

                                                                                                                                  35. Don’t mistake silence for weakness. Smart people don’t plan big moves out loud.

                                                                                                                                    36. Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

                                                                                                                                      37. Obsessed is the word the lazy use to describe dedicated.

                                                                                                                                        38. You become who you spend your time with.

                                                                                                                                          39. Be stubborn about your goals and flexible about your methods.

                                                                                                                                            40. Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.

                                                                                                                                              41. If you don’t build your dreams, someone else will hire you to build theirs.

                                                                                                                                                42. Between stimulus and response is our greatest power –the freedom to choose.

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                                                                                                                                                  43. What comes easy won’t last, what lasts won’t come easy.

                                                                                                                                                    44. Don’t limit your challenges, challenge your limits.

                                                                                                                                                      45. Work until your idols become your rivals.

                                                                                                                                                        Quotes about money

                                                                                                                                                        46. Formal education will make you a living. Self-education will make you a fortune.

                                                                                                                                                          47. I create new enemies every day, it’s called business.

                                                                                                                                                            48. When you have a Million Dollar vision, don’t surround yourself with 1 cent minds.

                                                                                                                                                              49. You can’t get rich thinking poor.

                                                                                                                                                                50. Doing what is comfortable is rarely profitable.

                                                                                                                                                                  51. If you can count your money, work harder.

                                                                                                                                                                    If you find yourself feeling lost and frustrated, it’s never too late to change things up. Check out this guide:

                                                                                                                                                                    How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

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