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The 9 Things People With Learning Disabilities Want You to Know

The 9 Things People With Learning Disabilities Want You to Know

Many people with LDs are creative and non conventional, it’s really not uncommon to see them as movie stars, entrepreneurs or athletes. Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley, for example, both have learning disabilities.

But the road to success is rarely easy and an LD can add another dimension that can be a struggle. Keira describes her journey through school saying:

“I was called stupid a lot by many lovely kids at school and that makes you pretty determined to learn to read and write and figure out ways around it, so I did.”

Orlando has used his own experience to be very vocal in advocating for children with dyslexia stating:

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“If you have kids who are struggling with dyslexia, the greatest gift you can give them is the sense that nothing is unattainable. With dyslexia comes a very great gift, which is the way that your mind can think creatively.”

Steven Spielberg also spoke out when he was diagnosed with an LD at 60 saying:

“Being called to the front of the class to read was yet another day in a long series of days that were the worst days of my life.”

He goes on to say that finding out he had an LD was ‘the last puzzle part in a tremendous mystery that I’ve kept to myself all these years”

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For over 20 years, I’ve been around or worked with individuals with LDs and I’ve heard what they want others to know. First is that they don’t want your pity. Instead they want you to take the time to become informed and knowledgeable about LDs. Here are some of the other things I’ve heard.

1. “Actually, I’m really smart.”

Individuals with learning disabilities have at least average and often above-average intelligence. In fact, many individuals have the dual diagnosis of being both gifted and LD. Susan Hamilton, a learning disabilities specialist, says “It is a lonely existence to be a child with a disability that no one can see or understand. You exasperate your teacher, you disappoint your parents and worst of all, you know that you are just not stupid.” Being thought of as stupid when you know you are smart is the number one frustration that I have heard. It can leave a person with an LD feeling angry and completely demoralised.

2. “Don’t call me lazy or unmotivated.”

Individuals with LDs don’t work in a linear fashion. Their route between “here and there” can be full of curves. Conventional teaching methods, or even standard expectations in life, may not work for them. Their neurocircuitry can essentially “lock up,” giving the appearance that they just don’t want to do the work, when actually they are in a frozen state of overload.

3. “My brain is just wired differently.”

LDs are a neurological disorder and are brain-based. There continues to be a great deal of study on the topic of LDs, but simply put, the wiring in the brain is different, not wrong. The important bit here is that LDs are physical and as real as diabetes or high blood pressure meaning individuals can’t simply “will” themselves to “get over it” any more than they could will a broken leg to mend. Many individuals have used this different wiring to become hugely successful. Paul Orfalea the CEO of Kinkos, the largest copy shop in the world calls his learning disabilities a “learning opportunity.” In his case, his learning style helped him to see the big picture and not worry about tiny details.

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4. “Don’t lump my LD in with others.”

There are 5 main categories of LDs as described in LD Online. Dyslexia is a language-based disability in which a person has trouble reading and understanding written words. Dyscalculia is a mathematical disability in which a person has a difficult time solving arithmetic problems and grasping math concepts. Dysgraphia is a writing disability that also affects coordination and fine motor, in which a person finds it hard to form letters or write within a defined space.

Auditory and Processing disorders are diagnosed when a person has difficulty understanding language despite normal hearing and vision and Nonverbal Learning Disabilities cause problems with visual-spatial, intuitive, organizational, evaluative and holistic processing functions. If an LD is not properly defined then it can’t be properly accommodated. Giving someone with dysgraphia more time to complete a math problem is not going to help them to ‘get it.’ They need a different method. Daniel Radcliffe, who has dyspraxia and has trouble trying his shoes says, with a laugh, that his biggest lament is that “velcro sneakers never took off in the fashion world.”

5. “Let me do it a different way.”

Ignacio Estrada said “if a child can’t learn the way we teach then maybe we should teach the way they learn.”  Think of this and then try to picture knowing the answer to something in your head and not being able to get it down on paper. Then picture being able to answer the same question lightening fast if you were given an oral test instead. This is a daily frustration for individuals with LDs. Their knowledge is not shown when given a conventional method, like a written exam, to test it. In the end it is not their knowledge being tested, it’s their ability to function according to status quo.

6. “It’s not just between 8:30 – 4:00.”

The idea that LDs start when an individual enters the classroom or the office in wrong. Using money, reading street signs, filling out forms and keeping your room tidy all happen outside of work or school. LDs can affect the input and output of information, a person’s processing speed, organization, memory and social skills. For some individuals ‘out of sight’ is really ‘out of mind’. If this means that clothing need to be visible for them to find their shirt and pants, then they need open shelving for their room and not a dresser or closet where their clothes are hidden away.

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7. “I’m not going to outgrow this.”

LDs are not just a childhood thing. You don’t outgrow them. As defined by the Learning Disabilities Association of Canada “the way in which LDs are expressed may vary over an individual’s lifetime, depending on the interaction between the demands of the environment and the individual’s strengths and needs.” But they don’t go away. Currently there are about a half a million Canadians with LDs and over 4.6 million Americans.

8. “It’s what I have not who I am.”

Having a learning disability doesn’t mean that an individual is learning disabled. It is simply a part of who they are and, with the right accommodations and supports, individuals with LD are perfectly capable of learning, in the same way that someone who is blind can read with the use of braille. Tim Tebow, former NFL quarterback , who has dyslexia says “it has to do with finding out how you learn.” In his case, he made flashcards of the different plays as a way around struggling to try and read the whole playbook.

9. “Your good intentions can smother me.”

Individuals with LDs are often treated with a mix of pity and irritation, when all they really need is the time to figure something out. Having someone hovering to help you doesn’t always work, in fact, it can be really distracting and annoying. Likewise, can you imagine being really, really intelligent and yet being talked to in a demeaning way?

Your chances of knowing someone with an LD are pretty high, so become informed and shift your perspective if you need to. Don’t assume that learning disabilities are always a bad thing…for many individuals, they give them a distinct advantage. As Salma Hayek, who has dyslexia, states “I may take a really long time to read a script, but I only read it once.”

Featured photo credit: Pratham Books via flickr.com

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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

Perceptual Barrier

The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

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The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

Attitudinal Barrier

Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

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The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

Language Barrier

This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

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Emotional Barrier

Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

Cultural Barrier

Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

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The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

Gender Barrier

Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

Reference

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