Which of the seven dwarfs is your favorite? Which one do you hate the most? Did you know that all of them live within you? That you are not only Doc and Happy, but also Grumpy, or Bashful?
The good news is, all of them are adorable as long as you can see the good points each have, just like Snow White did. So why not start feeling like Snow White and learn to love each of them? Learn to love your inner self. Here you are some reasons why you should:
Do you think being social and outgoing is good? Are you willing to share your life – both personal and professional – through social media? Well, according to a TED talk by Susan Cain, introverts bring extraordinary talents and abilities to the world, and should be encouraged and celebrated. At the end of the day, if Bashful makes the effort to speak, maybe it is time to listen to him.
Next time you experience something new, you can be like Snow White and love your inner Bashful; he knows when it is better to keep something for your own joy.
Is it possible to never fail? I don’t think so. Failing makes you a loser? Of course not. And you know what? Doc, the leader of the gang of seven, is not afraid of mixing up his words, because he knows every leader makes lots of mistakes. But he has more than mistakes to show the others. Doc is wise enough to know that learning comes after failing. It is because he fails that he can keep learning and leading his team.
Next time you make a mistake, you can be like Snow White and love your inner Doc because of the many things you do well.
Have you ever felt sorry just after saying something? Your mouth was faster than your mind, so words came out, and there’s no going back.
What about being Dopey? He never speaks, so he never feels that way. And, moreover, Dopey is clumsy, which is very good because people around him can feel good about helping him. If you don’t love Dopey and try to do everything well, people can start feeling useless next to you.
Next time you need to say something, you can be like Snow White and love that mute Dopey; and, if you fail, be sure you are leaving room for others to help.
Why do you need to love Grumpy? He is always complaining; he doesn’t like anything. He doesn’t even like Snow White!
Well, Grumpy is not afraid of showing his feelings, like it or not. Sometimes we’d like to share our feelings but we fear other’s reactions, so we say nothing. And the problem is we find no relief in silence. On the contrary: feelings tend to increase through silence, until we explode at the wrong time in front of the wrong person. Grumpy doesn’t suffer this process because he expresses his feelings.
Next time you feel there is something you need to say, you can be like Snow White and love your inner Grumpy; he will find the way to express your feelings in an assertive way.
Happy is always joyous. He celebrates life. He knows that the glass is half full. Of course he feels sad – especially after Snow White bites that apple. But Happy knows there’s always another way to view things. He is always ready to see happiness around him. He knows life is unbalanced because joy is heavier than sadness, and a bad moment cannot bring darkness to all those bright experiences.
Next time you feel sad, you can be like Snow White and love you inner Happy; you’ll start focusing on good times, in the past and yet to come.
Today’s world pushes us to try harder. We keep struggling to be better parents, better friends, better workers, better lovers, better citizens. The more demanding, the better. And there’s no time to stop. Every day lasts from 5 to 23, no breaks in between. But, as Sleepy knows, the best results come after a balance between training and rest. So he makes sure he is having enough time to take a nap. Sleepy takes care of himself, because he knows no one else will.
Next time you think you cannot stop and breathe, you can be like Snow White and love Sleepy, your inner dwarf who knows you are the most important thing you have.
Sneezy suffers hay fever; he is always ill, sneezing like a giant, though he’s only a dwarf.
What can be good with him? Well, does he really look ill? Does he stop doing anything because of sneezes? Nope. Sneezy works in the mine, just like the other six, and sings and eats and walks and dances and smiles. Sneezy is not stopped by sneezing. Even better, he has found a way to move heavy objects without even touching them. That “illness” is actually a gift!
Next time you feel beaten by illness, you can be like Snow White and love your inner Sneezy who, while sneezing, lives a great life.
Bonus track: Snow White
As you probably know, my favorite character in this tale is Snow White. She has the power of looking at others and bring out the very best in them. She has suffered from the very first day of her life, and she still can find love and happiness everywhere.
Snow White’s friends are not just dwarfs anymore, but people with powerful gifts. And all those gifts actually live in you. Are you ready to start using them?
You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.
Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.
Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.
Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:
1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically
According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.
“Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor
Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:
If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.
If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.
Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:
Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.
Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.
To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.
Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.
Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.
Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.
Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.
Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:
2. Focus on your goal
One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.
Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’
Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.
Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.
If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.
3. Convert negativity to positivity
There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?
‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’
It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.
Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”
Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.
Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:
4. Understand your content
Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.
However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.
“No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor
Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.
Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.
One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.
5. Practice makes perfect
Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.
In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.
Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!
6. Be authentic
There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.
Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.
Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.
To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.
With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.
Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:
7. Post speech evaluation
Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.
Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation
We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.
You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.
Improve your next speech
As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.
Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:
How did I do?
Are there any areas for improvement?
Did I sound or look stressed?
Did I stumble on my words? Why?
Was I saying “um” too often?
How was the flow of the speech?
Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.
If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too: