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10 Things To Stop Caring About If You Want To Be Happier

10 Things To Stop Caring About If You Want To Be Happier

It’s time to care less. Yep, that’s right. Sometimes we take the world on our shoulders, and instead of making the world a better place, all we end up doing is creating more stress for ourselves. Here are simple tips to ease that heavy mental load and feel more carefree.

1. What others think

Dance to your own beat. Act dumb. Do whatever you have to but don’t take on board what others think. It’s your life, your decisions and choices. Others love to judge, and why should you care if they do? Only you define yourself, so let them be amused if it makes them happy. When you care too much about that others will say, you live your life for them and not yourself.

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2. Past mistakes

We all make mistakes and mess up in life. That’s just how life goes. Don’t be hard on yourself, though. Accept that everyone gets it wrong sometimes; it’s part of the human condition. You really are allowed to cut yourself some slack. Learn to forgive yourself more often.

3. Failure

The big “F” word that everyone fears. It doesn’t have to be a scary concept, though. Ultimately, it depends on your attitude to failure. If you see failure as not being perfect, you’re going to be permanently miserable. A more realistic idea of failure is giving up. If you haven’t given up, you haven’t failed. See failure as a learning curve, a trial and error process. See failure as your friend – it’s no big deal unless you allow it to be.

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4. What you don’t have

The human default position tends to err on the side of lack rather than abundance, which is not conducive to feeling carefree. We focus on what we don’t have and end up feeling thoroughly deprived. What’s the point of that? I often tell my clients to focus on the positives of what they have and the negatives of what they don’t have. Why would you want to torture yourself with all the things you don’t have? That type of thinking will not serve you in any productive way at all. Make a list of all the things in your life that you appreciate. There will always be others with more and others with less. What you have is enough.

5. “What Ifs”

We can drive ourselves crazy worrying about what might happen in the future. No one can predict the future (psychics might dispute this), and there is no point in torturing yourself unnecessarily about things that may never come to pass. Remind yourself that this type of worry is wasted energy and distract yourself. Face worry head on – if you can do something in the present moment, go for it. If not, distract yourself and ‘shelve’ the worries.

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6. “I’ll be happy when…” thoughts

When we believe that we will be happy once something has happened, we effectively put our life on hold until the event happens. Wishing your current life is away is a precious waste of happy moments in life. Be in the moment more and care less about being happy in the future. Decide to be happy now. Happiness is not a destination, it is a manner of traveling.

7. Regrets

Regret is a part of life. The past cannot be undone, so it pays to look at what you have done in life philosophically. Did you learn something from it? If you learned never to do it again or to try a different approach, then you’ve ended up with a positive result. Accept what has gone before, make allowances for human error and move on.

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8. Rejection

Many of us are so afraid of rejection that we stay in our comfort zones and never risk true intimacy. Wear your heart on your sleeve and risk being vulnerable. The more you hide out of fear, the greater the fear will grow. Show yourself that you can express your feelings and live with the consequences. You will conquer fear of rejection in this way and feel more carefree. Even if the outcome is not as expected, you will soon realize that it wasn’t as bad as you anticipated and that you can deal with it. Be a little more thick skinned, be brave and see life as an adventure.

9. Society’s expectations

Be thin, be beautiful. Show off your wealth and status and then you’ll be adored. What nonsense. When you like and accept yourself as you are, you don’t need to prove yourself to anyone. Don’t buy into the constant media images of perfection. Most of the images are airbrushed and lead us to believe that we should all look as perfect. Try not to take it to heart. We all like to see perfect images, but don’t lose sight of the fact that most of it is digitally enhanced and not natural. Love yourself, imperfections and all. Self acceptance is true freedom.

10. Being good enough

It’s easy to feel that we don’t measure up somehow. We live in a competitive world. It’s okay and even healthy to want to improve and grow as a person. It becomes unhealthy, though, when we internalize negative ideas about how we aren’t good enough. Always challenge this type of thinking. What is “good enough”? Where is the international rule book that clarifies what “good enough” is? As long as you feel happy with who you are, where you are and how far you have come, that is all that matters.

We all worry unnecessarily and create inner misery for ourselves. Remember the above ten points, as they are definitely items you can immediately remove from your worry list. Hopefully you’ll feel a little lighter and a little more carefree too!

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Mandy Kloppers

Counsellor

Life Truths: 17 Universal Truths We All Share Fifteen Simple Ways To Overcome Depression And Sadness 7 Ways To Stop Yourself From Being A Slave to Your Emotions good partner 20 Ways To Recognize A Good Partner Crazy making in relationships Ten Examples of Crazy Making in Relationships

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Last Updated on August 15, 2018

When You Start to Enjoy Being Single, These 12 Things Will Happen

When You Start to Enjoy Being Single, These 12 Things Will Happen

Being single can make you weary, especially if you didn't initiate a breakup, it could be easy to get carried away with reminiscing and what-if scenarios. Staying caught up in the past is toxic to your growth, however, and interferes with your ability to move forward. Single life can be self-actualizing and enjoyable, but you need to embrace it first. No matter where you are on your journey in coming to terms with being single, the following 12 fantastic things will happen when you accept it.

Video Summary

1. You will be more focused.

    Once you start to treasure your new-found freedom, you will realize that taking time for yourself will show you what is most important in your life. Enjoying your single time will make what you want clearer and reveal which areas of your life you should build upon. Additionally, studies show that experiencing something alone results in our brain forming a more clear and longer lasting memory.

    2. You will be more active.

      Studies show that unmarried people are also more fit than their hitched counterparts. Let yourself welcome being single, and use this time to your benefit. You'll be more confident and in control when you do meet someone special.

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      3. You will be more likely to have high goals.

        Being single means you can't settle. In case someone who captures your heart comes along, you need to be at the top of your game. By embracing your time being single, you will be more able to pursue your goals and work towards a more complete, fulfilling future.

        4. You will be more creative.

          Spending time alone is also linked to an increase in creative thinking. Spending more time alone will force you to be a deeper thinker, and could lead you to solutions and projects you wouldn't have thought of otherwise.

          5. Your schedule will be your own.

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            Once you get past feeling lonely and realize how wonderful being single is, you will become aware of one of the best perks – your schedule is now completely your own. No longer do you need to have nights out approved, nor will long days at work get interrupted. Relax into loving your single life because nothing is quite as liberating as deciding every moment of your weekly schedule.

            6. You will likely save money.

              Dating is a great way to wave goodbye to all your hard earned cash. When you're with someone, there's nothing more important than impressing them, including your income. However, when the relationship fizzles, you realize how this tactic doesn't pay off. Not only are we more prone to spending when dating, married couples are more likely to have credit card debt than unmarried singles. So don't get depressed when you're eating cheap meals alone – it's really a form of investing in your future!

              7. You won't need to compromise on entertainment.

                Particularly if your significant other tends to have different tastes than you, being single can be a blessing. As soon as you can appreciate being single, you will realize how freeing it is to always watch exactly what you want. There is no longer any need to skimp on your favorite movies, plays, or TV shows that others don't appreciate.

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                8. You will have more time for your family.

                  Another thing you will realize once you learn to relish being single is you now have much more time for family. Especially when it comes to older relatives, time spent with them truly is precious. Make the most of your single time by reconnecting with family members in your life you may have been neglecting.

                  9. You have more time for your friends.

                    Once you start basking in your single glory, you will also find that you have more time for your friends. Not only will increased free time let you reconnect with friends you may have neglected while being half of a couple, studies also show that married people have much weaker social lives than those who are unmarried.

                    10. You will find new haunts in your city.

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                      Once you start to enjoy your single life again you will also find that you have plenty of time to rediscover your city. Where relationships see us fall into the same habit of favorite spots to drink, eat, or dance, when you're on your own you will naturally start to explore fresh venues again.

                      11. You'll find more interests.

                        Similarly, enjoying your time being single will give you more time to consider new hobbies and interests. Instead of repeating the same go-to dates, you can now freely explore activities that really make you passionate.

                        12. You will be more aware of what you want.

                          Ultimately, taking time to ourselves is an important ingredient in discovering what type of person is our ideal match, or what career we can happily commit to. By delighting in your uninhibited life, you are more able to experiment and thereby find out what works for you and what doesn't. Don't look at being single as a drawback, since learning more about yourself and finding out what makes you tick are crucial in forming balanced, healthy relationships in the future.

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