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Super Increase Your Self Esteem in 7 Easy Steps

Super Increase Your Self Esteem in 7 Easy Steps

Many people experience low self-esteem. Sadly, low self-esteem can have serious negative effects on your physical and emotional health. It can further impact your personal relationships and your job. Fortunately, there are ways that you can increase your self-esteem levels and eliminate these negative effects. Here are 7 steps to increase your self-esteem, giving you the boost you need.

1. Assess Yourself

It is important to figure out what causes your low self-esteem. Once you figure out what the root of the problem is, then you can fix it and move on. For instance, if you look at yourself in the mirror and you usually say, “I’m ugly,” “I’m fat,” or “I’m no good,” that would be the problem. In order to fix it, start telling yourself positive things, such as “I’m good looking,” “I’m healthy,” and “I’m a great person.” The more you express positive feelings about yourself, the more you will believe in them.

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2. Don’t Blame Others

In most cases, feelings of low self-esteem are often felt to be caused by someone else. If you are being told regularly that you are no good, you’re ugly, you’re fat, or whatever the case may be, the first instinct is to blame the person saying those things for how you feel about yourself. You need to own up to how you feel about yourself, and don’t let others convince you that you are not worthy. Self-esteem comes from loving yourself first and then allowing others to love you back.

3. Set New Standards

Often, people feel negatively about themselves because what has been told to them, or has happened to them in the past. It is time you put the past behind you and moved on. You need to mentally break yourself free from what you’ve previously thought about yourself due to others and start thinking on a more positive note.

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4. Love & Accept You for You

As has been mentioned, loving yourself is essential in significantly boosting your self-esteem. In order to love yourself, you need to accept who you are and embrace the being that is you. Allowing yourself to do this will instantly start increasing your self-esteem.

5. Strive for Growth & Self-Improvement

As you go through your life, you’re going to have many different experiences that could affect the way you feel about yourself. It is important to learn from these experiences, and continue to grow as a person. Doing so will allow your self-esteem to improve dramatically.

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6. Set Realistic Goals & Expectations

Nothing damages self-esteem faster than having unrealistic goals and expectations. It is important that you don’t set yourself up for disaster, but instead set smaller goals that are easily attainable. For instance, if you want to lose 50 pounds, start by setting a goal of 5 pounds. Once you achieve the 5 pound weight loss, you will feel good about yourself and want to keep going, just because you’ve accomplished something. The same goes in the work place. If your ultimate goal is to become CEO, start with the goal of achieving a supervisor position, then a general manager position, and so on, patting yourself on the back along the way.

7. Don’t Compare Yourself to Others

One of the worst things people can do is compare who they are to other people. Doing this will drastically damage self-esteem in no time. It is important that you know who you are as a person, what you have, what your abilities are, and how successful you are. The only person you need to make happy when it comes to self-esteem is yourself. The only person you are in competition with—as it relates to self-esteem—is yourself.

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Following these simple steps will help to dramatically improve your self-esteem in no time!

 

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Last Updated on January 12, 2021

Why We Say What We Won’t Do (but Still Say It Anyway)

Why We Say What We Won’t Do (but Still Say It Anyway)

Every day we say a lot about what we want and will do.

“I want to pet a cat.”

“I want to buy a house for my parents.”

“I don’t want to be single anymore.”

“I will love you no matter what.”

“I will work harder in the future.”

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    It’s easy to make plans for the future. And we make resolutions all the time. Consider that a full 80% of resolutions fail by the second week of February.[1] And that a vast majority of relationships (plus many marriages) end as well with break-ups or divorce. The best intentions and the best-laid plans generally speaking end in failure.

    No one intended to lie

    In general, people make these kinds of promises or resolutions with the best intentions. They don’t want to fail; if anything, they want desperately to be right, to improve themselves, and to make their friends and family happy. So even if a resolution doesn’t work out, when they utter them, it’s far from a lie.

      People often speak without thinking. They say what comes to mind, but without really thinking it through. And what usually comes to mind is wishful thinking – the ideal result, not what’s possible and practical. It’s tempting to fantasize about a beautiful and perfect future: a good romantic relationship, to have the approval and respect of your parents, and to have a successful career.

      But how to get what you want is not always clear to you in the moment you utter it. It’s hard to see beyond just the easy, idealized image. The challenges you may come across, the disappointments and sadness you may face – none of that is anywhere to be seen in a daydreaming mind.

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      Wishful thinking often end in crushing disappointment

      The problem is this. Wishful thinking and fantasies will only end in disappointment if you don’t follow through. You disappoint your friends, your family, your boss, and – most importantly – yourself. This can really take a toll on your own psyche and sense of self-worth.

            At a personal level, you’ll have so many unfulfilled dreams and goals. This is an incredibly common situation for people everywhere. As a teenager, you might have dreamed of what your life would be like as an adult: happily married and with a successful and high-earning career by the time you’re 25. But these are two seriously challenging goals that take planning and effort. Many people find themselves alone and in a dead-end job – rather than a career – wondering where they went wrong.

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                On an interpersonal level, making empty promises is hurtful and damaging to relationships. Friendship and healthy family relationships are built on trust. People who want to be your friend take you at your word and expect you to follow through. If you tell your friends that you’ll “be there for them,” but never pick up the phone, they will be hurt and no longer want to hang out. The same is true for family or even professional relationships. You might find it tempting to tell your boss that you’ll finish a major project “by the end of the week,” without considering whether this is plausible. If you are unable to complete the task in the timeframe that you set, it’s not easy to regain your boss’s trust.

                Keep what you want to yourself

                It’s vital to be clear about what you want. Notice when people around you are prone to saying “I want ___” and “I don’t want ____.”

                Kids are very prone to saying all their wants out loud, partly because they don’t have the independence and resources to get it themselves. This is why children and young people are often vague about what they want in the future. They have lots of wants without a concrete plan on how to get them.

                This is one of the challenges of being an adult. As you gain the practical ability to provide for yourself, and as you learn from your mistakes, it’s more and more important to be clear about how you plan to get what you want.

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                  Practice visualizing plans to attain your goals. For example, you might want a pet – everyone shares pictures of their dogs and cats on Instagram! But before you go out to adopt one at the shelter, make sure you visualize all the things you have to do to take care of your pet. Pet-ownership involves: cleaning up after it, house-training it, taking it to the vet, walking it, buying it food, and making sure that it gets plenty of stimulation and exercise.

                  If you want or need a car, think about how much you need to save to purchase the car, the cleaning and maintenance costs, how to pay for regular car insurance, parking costs, et cetera.

                    If you really want something, don’t just say it. Plan for it and do it. Create conditions that make what you want inevitable. Do small things consistently and make it a habit. You’ll amaze yourself and your friends if you constantly work on attaining your goals. Read more about how to follow through your goals here: Why I Can Be the Only 8% of People Who Reach the Goal Every Single Time

                    It’s easy to make or break promises. Set yourself apart from others by being reliable, deliberate, and thoughtful. Match your intentions with planning and action, and you’ll find that you’re happier with yourself and that your relationships are enriched.

                    Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

                    Reference

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