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Starting Today You Can Be the Happiest Person If You Pick Up These Habits

Starting Today You Can Be the Happiest Person If You Pick Up These Habits

I think of myself as the happiest person whenever I walk into a room, and most people notice my smile right away. Here are 20 ways you can find yourself as happy as I am.

1. Let it go.

When someone criticizes you or says something not-so-nice, just forget it. Worse things have been uttered in human history. Even when you know the person meant it, remember that you become stronger by accepting them for who they are and knowing your capabilities.

2. Be kind.

People who are mean and feel the need to put others down are insecure with themselves. But when you are kind to others, kindness returns to you.

3. Think of your problems as challenges.

When you come up against a difficulty, whether a person or an event, consider what your future self will have learned from it. I believe it was Kanye West, or maybe Nietszche, who said, “What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.”

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4. Express gratitude.

When you let people know that you appreciate them, they are more willing to help you in the future. Saying thank you is more than good manners—it’s karma.

5. Dream big.

The happiest person has reached the highest level of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs—self-actualization. If you want to be happy you must work hard to achieve something, and strive to attain that life goal.

6. Speak well of others.

The Buddhist notion of “right thought, right action” is an important one. It’s in the mind that negativity starts. By clearing your head of negative ideas of others, you will clear your mind of problems, worries and fears, and you won’t be tempted to gossip or speak ill and bring that negativity back to you.

7. Be in the now.

Yes, you have to do your laundry and clean the bathroom when you get home, but while you’re here now eating this cheeseburger, just enjoy the cheeseburger. Then apply this lesson to all other moments of pleasure and work—you can deal with the little stuff later.

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8. Do not compare yourself to others.

As soon as you start this, you fall into a trap of ego, a grasping at the temporal, fleeting aspects of reality. Instead, think about what you have that makes you happy, or at least satisfied.

9. Realize you don’t need others’ approval.

As long as you do what makes you happy, you don’t need other people to condone your actions. This will free you to act on what you believe, which will instill confidence into your every act.

10. Be honest.

Lies, even little ones, imply that you are willing to be lied to in return. But when you keep your conversation honest, you will maintain a higher level of integrity in your world.

11. Take time to listen.

The happiest person doesn’t interrupt because she knows that if she wants to be heard, she has to listen to others. By listening instead of waiting to speak, you can understand what motivates others, which can help you build rapport with them and understand yourself.

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12. Accept what can’t be changed.

Sure, I wish I was taller, smarter, and better looking. But I’m not. As soon as I realized that I wasn’t going to be President of the U.S.A., I figured out what I did want to do with my life: write.

13. Read daily selections from a book of wisdom.

Magazines and newspapers are all well and good, but the reason people throughout history have dedicated their lives to religion and philosophy is because of the wisdom these sacred texts hold. It doesn’t matter if it’s a Bible, Torah or Quran verse, reading these books of wisdom will remind you of what came before and what will come after you.

14. Travel at least two weeks of the year.

It’s even better if it’s foreign travel. Alas, getting out of the country can be expensive. When you go somewhere different, to remind yourself of how people live in places other than those that you’re used to, you will be happy to return to what you have when it’s time.

15. Catch yourself before negativity starts.

Yeah, it’s easy to read the above points and say, okay, I get it. But the hardest part of being happy is realizing when negativity starts to creep into your mind and from there, getting rid of it.

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16. Dress well.

You’re only as good as you feel, and you can only feel good if you look good. Personal hygiene, grooming, and fashion enter into this. Rarely will you find someone well-dressed crying by themselves.

17. Enjoy sadness.

John Keats said that in the “temple of delight melancholy has her sovran shrine.” In other words, at the heart of every joy is a glimmer of sadness waiting to shine through. The same goes for sadness—within every pain is a reversal of fortune that will lead you to feel happy again. So when those moments come, enjoy them. They won’t last long.

18. Eat well.

You are what you eat, so if you’re stuffing yourself with cheeseburgers and hot dogs every day, chances are you are overweight and you lack energy and mental clarity. Instead, make sure to eat enough fruit and vegetables, protein and carbohydrates—and indulge in moderation.

19. Keep in touch with your friends and family.

Your family—in most cases—loves you unconditionally. It’s important to keep in touch with them, whether it’s a weekly phone call or an annual visit. Friends too help to inspire and support happy people. Take time out of your week to communicate with them.

20. Be alone.

The happiest person is comfortable spending time by himself. That’s because he loves himself. A lot. He is just as comfortable spending an entire day alone as he is spending it with someone else. You should be too.

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Last Updated on January 16, 2020

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

The way you feel about yourself greatly influences how you live and interact with others. If you are confident about yourself, you tend to see yourself positively and actually enjoy spending time with and around people. You don’t feel self-conscious or awkward around others, and that allows you to live your fullest and happiest life.

However, if you’re drowning in a sea of self-doubt, hesitancy and shyness, you often withdraw and isolate yourself from others and avoid interacting and connecting with people. That anxiety you feel in the pit of your stomach when you are around people is holding you back greatly and it is not good for your emotional health and overall well-being. You need to do something about it if you are low in self-confidence or have friends or family members who are not confident.

“Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone, it’s walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone” – Anonymous

Here are simple, practical tips to boost your confidence right now and make you feel and act your best.

1. Stop labeling yourself as awkward, timid or shy.

When you label yourself as awkward, timid or shy, you sub-consciously tell your mind to act accordingly and psychologically feel inclined to live up to those expectations. Instead of labeling and entertaining negative self-talk, visualize and affirm yourself as confident and strong. Close your eyes for a minute and visualize yourself in different situation as you would like to be.

Be your own cheerleader. Experts believe that positive affirmation and good mental practices like picturing yourself winning or achieving a goal can lead to greater feelings of self-assurance and prepare your brain for success.[1] As the saying goes, “seeing is believing.” Picture yourself as confident and soon enough you will begin to manifest behavior that gives evidence to this new ‘fact.’

2. Recognize that the world is not focused on you (unless, of course, you are Kanye West).

That means you don’t have to be excessively sensitive about who you are or what you are doing (or not doing). You are not on the center stage; there is no need for preoccupation with self and perfectionism. As rap music star Rocko sings, “You just do you and I will do me, aight?”

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Forget about trying to please everyone or being perfect. Trying to be perfect and being a people-pleaser puts too much pressure on you and creates unnecessary anxiety. Besides, people are too preoccupied with their own issues to pay much attention to your every move unless, of course, you are a mega famous, super celebrity like Beyonce or Kanye West.

3. Focus on other people as opposed to yourself.

If you are low on confidence, self-conscious, nervous and shy in social situations, focus your attention on other people and what they are saying or doing instead of focusing on your own awkwardness.

For example, think about what it is that is interesting about the person who’s the centre of the party or the guy or girl you are talking with. Prompt them to talk more about themselves and be genuinely curious and interested in what they say. You will instantly come across as confident and warmhearted.

People generally want to talk about themselves, be heard and understood. They will love it when you’re eager and willing to listen to them and really hear what they have to say.

This habit of focusing more on what you love in others as opposed to what you dislike in yourself will not only help you become more assertive and comfortable in virtually all social situations, but also instantly make you feel great about yourself.

4. Know (and accept) yourself for who you are.

Chinese military general, strategist and philosopher Sun Tzu, author of the internationally acclaimed book The Art of War, said, “Know yourself and you will win all battles.” Even in the battle with lack of confidence, you will need to know yourself to win.

Knowing yourself starts with understanding that people are not all the same, neither are all social situation suitable for everyone. You might not be confident in large gatherings, but you could be bold and confident in one-on-one and small group interactions. We all have our own unique gifts and unique ways of expressing ourselves. Embrace yours!

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Introverts, for example, have a quiet confidence that is, unfortunately, often confused for shyness. They are naturally low key and prefer to spend time alone. However, this natural disposition affords them certain unique gifts, such as an ability to listen better than most people and notice things that others don’t.

Your uniqueness is where your strength and advantage lies. You won’t be comfortable and confident in all situations all the time. Albert Einstein said,

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

5. Crack a smile.

If there is one sure way to instantly boost your confidence, it’s cracking a smile. Christine Clapp, a public speaking expert at The George Washington University, says that flashing those pretty, pearly white teeth will immediately make you appear both confident and composed. But, the effect of smiling is not just external. Studies show that smiling can also help nix feelings of stress and pave the way for a happier and more relaxed you.[2]

Not a bad return for something seemingly so trite, wouldn’t you agree?

6. Break a sweat—with exercise.

Working out is another great way to make yourself feel amazing and confident. Science has shown that exercising increases your endorphins, helps reduce stress, tones your muscles and makes you feel happy and confident.[3]

And hey, all you have to do is take a walk a few times a week and you’ll see the benefits. What seems to matter—as far as your confidence goes—is whether you break a sweat, not how strenuous your session is, which is pretty cool. Start working out now.

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7. Groom yourself.

This might seem mundane, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and shave can have on your confidence and self-image. And when you spritz on a scent, the boost on confidence and self-esteem is incredible. As it turns out, your favorite fragrance does more than make you smell oh-so-nice.

A study found that a fragrance can inspire confidence in men. Interestingly, the study also found that the more a man likes the fragrance, the more confident he might feel. Another study found that 90% of women feel more confident while wearing a scent than those who go fragrance-free.

8. Dress nicely.

Another one that might seem trite, but it works. If you dress nicely, you’ll instantly feel good about yourself and give your confidence a real boost. That is largely because you’ll feel attractive, presentable and sometimes even successful in nice clothes.

While dressing nicely means something different for everyone, it does not necessarily mean wearing $500 designer outfits. It means wearing clothes that are clean, that you are comfortable in and that are nice-looking and presentable, including casual clothes.

9. Do activities you enjoy.

Whether it is reading a book, playing a musical instrument, riding your bicycle or going fishing, do what you really enjoy and what makes you truly happy often. It will boost your self-esteem, soothe your ego and allow you to identify with your gifts and talents. That will in turn bolster your self-belief and grow your confidence exponentially.

You might not become popular for doing what you love, but you might not even want to be popular at all. Being popular doesn’t make you happy; doing what you love does.

10. Prepare for the possibility of rejection / setback.

Late World No. 1 professional tennis player Arthur Ashe said, “One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation.” You need to prepare for the possibility of rejection and setback.

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Why?

Everybody suffers rejection and setback at one point or another. You are not exempted. The question on your mind, therefore, should not be if you will be rejected, but how you will handle rejection when it comes.

Prepare yourself adequately in every situation to minimize the risk and effect of rejection and so that your confidence is not broken. For example, learn public speaking and rehearse what you are going to say beforehand if you have landed a public speaking engagement. That way, you are sure of yourself and confident you have what it takes to hack it. If you are rejected, don’t take it personally.

Rejection and setbacks happen to the best of us. Take it as a learning experience. Learn from your mistakes and move on.

11. Face uncomfortable situations square in the face.

Don’t run away from uncomfortable situations. Running away from people or situations because you feel scared, shy or timid only confirms and reinforces your shyness. Instead, face the situation that makes you uneasy square in the face. For example, go ahead and talk to that person you are afraid to approach, or go straight to the front of your yoga class! What’s the worst that can happen?

Prepare and be ready for any eventuality. The more you face your fears, the more you realize you are stronger than you thought and the more confident you get. This simple, yet admittedly courageous, act makes you unstoppable. You get comfortable being uncomfortable and begin to feel like you can take on the world. And that is the hallmark of someone destined for great things.

12. Sit up straight and walk tall—you are awesome!

Yes, sit up straight and believe you are awesome. Don’t slump in your chair or slouch your shoulders. Experts say the right stance can not only keep your self-esteem and mood lifted, but also lead to more confidence in your own thoughts.[4]

The way to sit is to open up your chest and keep your head level so that you look and feel poised and assured. And when you get up, stand tall and walk like you’re on a mission. People who sit up straight and walk tall are more attractive and instantly feel more confident. Try it now: you’ll feel fierce and confident just by sitting up straight and walking tall.

Featured photo credit: Freshh Connection via unsplash.com

Reference

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