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Six Ways To Get Over Naysayers Who Say “No” To Your Ideas

Six Ways To Get Over Naysayers Who Say “No” To Your Ideas

If you’re a business owner or creative type who is unafraid to express yourself in the public realm, you need to learn how to get over naysayers. No matter how amazing your ambitious vision is, there will always be people who say “no” to your ideas, so let’s chat about six ways to deal with naysayers.

1. The Relevance Test

Before you do anything else, ask yourself this question: if the naysayer you’re facing isn’t a business partner, loyal customer, dear reader, or family member, is there any reason to care about what they think? I used to obsess with every single criticism posted on my blogs and articles, but one day, I realized that said criticisms, without fail, came from people who were outside of my target audience. I write for an audience of women, the criticisms typically came from men, so why would I care what they thought? If it’s not relevant, it’s not worth getting upset about.

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2. Fuel for Success

The only way to achieve massive success is to take massive action. If you’re in the training-wheels state of your new business or writing your first book and struggling with naysayers, use their negative energy as fuel to make you hustle even harder to show them what’s up. They might tell you that you can’t succeed today, but make sure they have the pleasure of eating those words in the future when (not if) you achieve your goal.

3. Make It Better

If the naysayer is a trusted friend, networking contact, or business partner, you might want to hear them out. Please realize that some people don’t excel at positive communication, so it is possible they might not be trying to be negative intentionally. If a naysayer tells you that something cannot be done, quickly reply, “how can it be done?” If a naysayer tells you that your idea needs work, ask, “how can it be better?” Asking questions could turn a naysayer into a team-player who will make your idea even stronger (and if they have nothing of value to add, forget they ever said anything, because only a blood-sucking energy vampire would trash a person’s idea without offering any alternative solutions).

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4. Shrug It Off

Let’s say you’re pursuing self-employment and you have a friend who tells you that your dream will never become reality. Ask, “Why not?” If they have nothing of benefit to offer that will help you improve your idea, shrug it off and tell them, “If you’re not going to support me in this, can we just not talk about it?” Life is too short to spend it with toxic people who don’t support you, so if they continue to be a negative influence despite your wishes, this might mean it’s time to break up. Your success is your choice (not theirs!). 

5. Dealing with Family

If the naysayer is a family member, then you might not be able to cut ties or avoid contact with them, so it’s best to find positive outlets that will keep you encouraged and motivated despite their negativity. Network with like-minded people who are in your field. Follow the best and brightest people in your industry, make note of how they operate, and apply what you learn so that it will be relevant for you and your business. Understand that your family isn’t trying to hurt you. This isn’t an excuse for their behavior, but they do have your best interest at heart, and they’re just expressing their concern in a way that isn’t positive. Keep a track record of your successes and show them the positive results you’ve achieved to make them more comfortable with your endeavor. You can’t argue with success, so I have no doubt you will convince them to support you.

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6. Haters Gonna Hate (according to science)

A new study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology discovered that haters are indeed going to hateThe study found that people who hate things they already know about are more likely to hate things they haven’t heard of just yet. Psychologists asked study participants about their feelings on subjects like architecture, health care, crossword puzzles, taxidermy, and Japan. The people who liked more things at the onset on the study had positive reactions to new information while people who disliked more things had negative reactions to new information. Remember this the next time a person criticizes your idea or posted a nasty comment on your blog: haters gonna hate (and there’s little you can do about it). If you have a hater infestation in your life, you might want to check out 9 helpful tips to deal with negative people.

How do you turn naysayers into yaysayers?

I hope these six tips help you get over naysayers, but I’d love it if you helped me add to this list. We all confront people who say “no,” so your input would be valuable to all the people reading. Please leave a comment if you have a helpful tip that will help everybody stay positive!

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Daniel Wallen

Daniel is a writer who focuses on blogging about happiness and motivation at Lifehack.

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Last Updated on July 16, 2019

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

Negativity affects ourselves and everyone around us. It limits our potential to become something great and live a fulfilling, purposeful life. Negativity has a tangible effect on our health, too. Research has shown that people who cultivate negative energy experience more stress, more sickness, and less opportunity over the course of their lives than those who choose to live positively.

When we make a decision to become positive, and follow that decision up with action, we will begin to encounter situations and people that are also positive. The negative energy gets edged out by all positive experiences. It’s a snowball effect.

Although negative and positive thoughts will always exist, the key to becoming positive is to limit the amount of negativity that we experience by filling ourselves up with more positivity.

Here are some ways to get rid of negativity and become more positive.

1. Become Grateful for Everything

When life is all about us, it’s easy to believe that we deserve what we have. An attitude of entitlement puts us at the center of the universe and sets up the unrealistic expectation that others should cater to us, our needs, and our wants. This vain state of existence is a surefire way to set yourself up for an unfulfilled life of negativity.

People living in this sort of entitlement are “energy suckers”–they are always searching for what they can get out of a situation. People that don’t appreciate the nuances of their lives live in a constant state of lacking. And it’s really difficult to live a positive life this way.

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When we begin to be grateful and appreciate everything in our lives–from the small struggles that make us better, to the car that gets us from A to B every day–we shift our attitude from one of selfishness, to one of appreciation. This appreciation gets noticed by others, and a positive harmony begins to form in our relationships.

We begin to receive more of that which we are grateful for, because we’ve opened ourselves up to the idea of receiving, instead of taking. This will make your life more fulfilling, and more positive.

2. Laugh More, Especially at Yourself

Life gets busy, our schedules fill up, we get into relationships, and work can feel task oriented and routine-driven at times. Being human can feel more like being a robot. But having this work-driven, serious attitude often results in negative and performance oriented thinking.

Becoming positive means taking life less seriously and letting yourself off the hook. This is the only life that you get to live, why not lighten up your mood?

Laughter helps us become positive by lightening our mood and reminding us not to take life so seriously. Are you sensitive to light sarcasm? Do you have trouble laughing at jokes? Usually, people who are stressed out and overly serious get most offended by sarcasm because their life is all work and no play.

If we can learn to laugh at ourselves and our mistakes, life will become more of an experiment in finding out what makes us happy. And finding happiness means finding positivity.

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3. Help Others

Negativity goes hand in hand with selfishness. People that live only for themselves have no higher purpose in their lives. If the whole point of this world is only to take care of yourself and no one else, the road to a long-term fulfillment and purpose is going to be a long one.

Positivity accompanies purpose. The most basic way to create purpose and positivity in your life is to begin doing things for others. Start small; open the door for the person in front of you at Starbucks or ask someone how their day was before telling them about yours.

Helping others will give you an intangible sense of value that will translate into positivity. And people might just appreciate you in the process.

4. Change Your Thinking

We can either be our best coach or our best enemy. Change starts from within. If you want to become more positive, change the wording of your thoughts. We are the hardest on ourselves, and a stream of negative self talk is corrosive to a positive life.

The next time you have a negative thought, write it down and rephrase it with a positive spin. For example, change a thought like, “I can’t believe I did so horribly on the test–I suck.” to “I didn’t do as well as I hoped to on this test. But I know I’m capable and I’ll do better next time.”

Changing our self-talk is powerful.

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5. Surround Yourself with Positive People

We become most like the people that we surround ourselves with. If our friend group is full of negative energy-suckers and drama queens, we will emulate that behavior and become like them. It is very difficult to become more positive when the people around us don’t support or demonstrate positive behavior.

As you become more positive, you’ll find that your existing friends will either appreciate the new you or they will become resistant to your positive changes. This is a natural response.

Change is scary; but cutting out the negative people in your life is a huge step to becoming more positive. Positive people reflect and bounce their perspectives onto one another. Positivity is a step-by-step process when you do it solo, but a positive group of friends can be an escalator.

6. Get into Action

Negative thoughts can be overwhelming and challenging to navigate. Negativity is usually accompanied by a “freak-out” response, especially when tied to relationships, people and to worrying about the future. This is debilitating to becoming positive and usually snowballs into more worry, more stress and more freak-outs.

Turn the negative stress into positive action. The next time you’re in one of these situations, walk away and take a break. With your eyes closed, take a few deep breaths. Once you’re calm, approach the situation or problem with a pen and pad of paper. Write out four or five actions or solutions to begin solving the problem.

Taking yourself out of the emotionally charged negative by moving into the action-oriented positive will help you solve more problems rationally and live in positivity

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7. Take Full Responsibility, Stop Being the Victim

You are responsible for your thoughts.

People that consistently believe that things happen to them handicap themselves to a victim mentality. This is a subtle and deceptive negative thought pattern. Phrases like “I have to work” or “I can’t believe he did that to me” are indicators of a victim mentality. Blaming circumstances and blaming others only handicaps our decision to change something negative into something positive.

Taking full responsibility for your life, your thoughts and your actions is one of the biggest steps in creating a more positive life. We have unlimited potential within to create our own reality, change our life, and change our thoughts. When we begin to really internalize this, we discover that no one can make us feel or do anything. We choose our emotional and behavioral response to people and circumstances.

Make positive choices in favor of yourself.

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny” ― Lao Tzu

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Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com

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