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Remind Yourself These 7 Things When You Have A Bad Day

Remind Yourself These 7 Things When You Have A Bad Day

We all have good days and bad days. But most of the time, things really aren’t as bad as they seem. Our minds play tricks on us and make us feel like the world is ending. Fortunately, we all have the ability to turn our bad day around instantly by putting things into perspective and remembering a few simple truths. Here are seven of them.

You’re stronger now. 

Unfortunately, suffering is a part of life. But here’s the good news: adversity builds character. While it’s hard to understand why bad things happen to good people, there’s one certainty: what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. As hard as it may be, try to learn something from every bad experience you go through. Be reflective and mindful of how you react in certain situations. For example, I get easily stressed out while driving. Then I realized how ridiculous it was to overreact to things out of my control that don’t really matter much anyway. These behaviors were learned reactions. I’m not saying I never get annoyed and irritated in the car these days. But I recognize when these reactions start to happen, and I’m better able to control them. Treat every bad thing that happens as a learning experience, and you’ll get stronger every time.

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You’re capable of more than you think. 

Humans are the most intelligent animals on earth. We have an amazing ability to think, reason, and adapt. Use that gift. Understand that you are capable of whatever you want if you’re willing to work for it. Circumstances don’t define us. Our mindset does. If you think you can’t, you’re probably right. Your capabilities are limitless. Whether you want to get a great job, find love, lose weight, or just stop feeling so sad all the time, you can do it–you need to be willing to take action though. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Stop make excuses. Take the first step.

It’s worth it to take the next step.

The first step will be the hardest but the second isn’t always easy either. We’re a society that expects immediate gratification in everything we do. That’s not how things work though. Nothing great comes easily. That’s why it’s important to always keep moving forward. 10 years ago I was fat, depressed and miserable. So I decided to change. I started working out one day a week. I started cooking more instead of going out. I took baby steps. But those steps began to compound into amazing changes in my life. Keep moving forward and taking small steps every day and the same will happen for you.

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It could be worse.

Life is relative. I thought I had a bad day yesterday because I had a stressful day at work and got caught in a traffic jam on the way home. Then I realized there are people who don’t have a job, a car or even a home. There are people suffering from life-threatening diseases. There are people who have endured suffering infinitely deeper than I have ever experienced. Sometimes when we have a bad day it helps to stop thinking it’s all about us. Others have it much worse than you. Help them and you’ll help yourself.

What’s done is done.

Some days you get dealt a bad hand. But guess what? It’s over. Whatever bad things have happened to you are done with. Put them behind you. Those bad moments don’t exist anymore. Remind yourself of this whenever you have a bad day: the only thing that matters is the present. Focus your energy on right now because whatever happened in the past no longer matters.

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The light in your life will always outweigh the dark.

It’s easy to get caught up on the negative when bad stuff seems to pile up on you over and over. When I have a bad day and negative thoughts swirl through my head, here’s the strategy that always seems to help me the most: I refocus on everything I do have instead of what I don’t. Think about the people who love you, the hard work you’ve put in to whatever skills you’re really good at, and all the great things that have happened in your life. If you’re like me, you’ll realize you’re pretty darn lucky.

You’re still here.

Life will test you in more ways you can imagine. You have probably suffered a lot in your life. I know I have. But here’s the thing: we’re still here. The fact that you’re alive and reading this is a miracle. So let’s stop taking life so seriously. Have fun, love deeply, put your stamp on the world, take risks and live your life.

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Featured photo credit: gabsiq via flickr.com

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Scott Christ

Scott Christ is a writer, entrepreneur, and founder of Pure Food Company.

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Published on May 18, 2021

How To Improve Listening Skills For Effective Workplace Communication

How To Improve Listening Skills For Effective Workplace Communication

We have two ears and one mouth for a reason—effective communication is dependent on using them in proportion, and this involves having good listening skills.

The workplace of the 21st century may not look the same as it did before COVID-19 spread throughout the world like wildfire, but that doesn’t mean you can relax your standards at work. If anything, Zoom meetings, conference calls, and the continuous time spent behind a screen have created a higher level of expectations for meeting etiquette and communication. And this goes further than simply muting your microphone during a meeting.

Effective workplace communication has been a topic of discussion for decades, yet, it is rarely addressed or implemented due to a lack of awareness and personal ownership by all parties.

Effective communication isn’t just about speaking clearly or finding the appropriate choice of words. It starts with intentional listening and being present. Here’s how to improve your listening skills for effective workplace communication.

Listen to Understand, Not to Speak

There are stark differences between listening and hearing. Listening involves intention, focused effort, and concentration, whereas hearing simply involves low-level awareness that someone else is speaking. Listening is a voluntary activity that allows one to be present and in the moment while hearing is passive and effortless.[1]

Which one would you prefer your colleagues to implement during your company-wide presentation? It’s a no-brainer.

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Listening can be one of the most powerful tools in your communication arsenal because one must listen to understand the message being told to them. As a result of this deeper understanding, communication can be streamlined because there is a higher level of comprehension that will facilitate practical follow-up questions, conversations, and problem-solving. And just because you heard something doesn’t mean you actually understood it.

We take this for granted daily, but that doesn’t mean we can use that as an excuse.

Your brain is constantly scanning your environment for threats, opportunities, and situations to advance your ability to promote your survival. And yet, while we are long past the days of worrying about being eaten by wildlife, the neurocircuitry responsible for these mechanisms is still hard-wired into our psychology and neural processing.

A classic example of this is the formation of memories. Case in point: where were you on June 3rd, 2014? For most of you reading this article, your mind will go completely blank, which isn’t necessarily bad.

The brain is far too efficient to retain every detail about every event that happens in your life, mainly because many events that occur aren’t always that important. The brain doesn’t—and shouldn’t—care what you ate for lunch three weeks ago or what color shirt you wore golfing last month. But for those of you who remember where you were on June 3rd, 2014, this date probably holds some sort of significance to you. Maybe it was a birthday or an anniversary. Perhaps it was the day your child was born. It could have even been a day where you lost someone special in your life.

Regardless of the circumstance, the brain is highly stimulated through emotion and engagement, which is why memories are usually stored in these situations. When the brain’s emotional centers become activated, the brain is far more likely to remember an event.[2] And this is also true when intention and focus are applied to listening to a conversation.

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Utilizing these hard-wired primitive pathways of survival to optimize your communication in the workplace is a no-brainer—literally and figuratively.

Intentional focus and concentrated efforts will pay off in the long run because you will retain more information and have an easier time recalling it down the road, making you look like a superstar in front of your colleagues and co-workers. Time to kiss those note-taking days away!

Effective Communication Isn’t Always Through Words

While we typically associate communication with words and verbal affirmations, communication can come in all shapes and forms. In the Zoom meeting era we live in, it has become far more challenging to utilize and understand these other forms of language. And this is because they are typically easier to see when we are sitting face to face with the person we speak to.[3]

Body language can play a significant role in how our words and communication are interpreted, especially when there is a disconnection involved.[4] When someone tells you one thing, yet their body language screams something completely different, it’s challenging to let that go. Our brain immediately starts to search for more information and inevitably prompts us to follow up with questions that will provide greater clarity to the situation at hand. And in all reality, not saying something might be just as important as actually saying something.

These commonly overlooked non-verbal communication choices can provide a plethora of information about the intentions, emotions, and motivations. We do this unconsciously, and it happens with every confrontation, conversation, and interaction we engage in. The magic lies in the utilization and active interpretation of these signals to improve your listening skills and your communication skills.

Our brains were designed for interpreting our world, which is why we are so good at recognizing subtle nuances and underlying disconnect within our casual encounters. So, when we begin to notice conflicting messages between verbal and non-verbal communication, our brain takes us down a path of troubleshooting.

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Which messages are consistent with this theme over time? Which statements aren’t aligning with what they’re really trying to tell me? How should I interpret their words and body language?

Suppose we want to break things down even further. In that case, one must understand that body language is usually a subconscious event, meaning that we rarely think about our body language. This happens because our brain’s primary focus is to string together words and phrases for verbal communication, which usually requires a higher level of processing. This doesn’t mean that body language will always tell the truth, but it does provide clues to help us weigh information, which can be pretty beneficial in the long run.

Actively interpreting body language can provide you with an edge in your communication skills. It can also be used as a tool to connect with the individual you are speaking to. This process is deeply ingrained into our human fabric and utilizes similar methods babies use while learning new skills from their parents’ traits during the early years of development.

Mirroring a person’s posture or stance can create a subtle bond, facilitating a sense of feeling like one another. This process is triggered via the activation of specific brain regions through the stimulation of specialized neurons called mirror neurons.[5] These particular neurons become activated while watching an individual engage in an activity or task, facilitating learning, queuing, and understanding. They also allow the person watching an action to become more efficient at physically executing the action, creating changes in the brain, and altering the overall structure of the brain to enhance output for that chosen activity.

Listening with intention can make you understand your colleague, and when paired together with mirroring body language, you can make your colleague feel like you two are alike. This simple trick can facilitate a greater bond of understanding and communication within all aspects of the conversation.

Eliminate All Distractions, Once and for All

As Jim Rohn says, “What is easy to do is also easy not to do.” And this is an underlying principle that will carry through in all aspects of communication. Distractions are a surefire way to ensure a lack of understanding or interpretation of a conversation, which in turn, will create inefficiencies and a poor foundation for communication.

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This should come as no surprise, especially in this day in age where people are constantly distracted by social media, text messaging, and endlessly checking their emails. We’re stuck in a cultural norm that has hijacked our love for the addictive dopamine rush and altered our ability to truly focus our efforts on the task at hand. And these distractions aren’t just distractions for the time they’re being used. They use up coveted brainpower and central processes that secondarily delay our ability to get back on track.

Gloria Mark, a researcher at UC Irvine, discovered that it takes an average of 23 minutes and 15 seconds for our brains to reach their peak state of focus after an interruption.[6] Yes, you read that correctly—distractions are costly, error-prone, and yield little to no benefit outside of a bump to the ego when receiving a new like on your social media profile.

Meetings should implement a no-phone policy, video conference calls should be set on their own browser with no other tabs open, and all updates, notifications, and email prompt should be immediately turned off, if possible, to eliminate all distractions during a meeting.

These are just a few examples of how we can optimize our environment to facilitate the highest levels of communication within the workplace.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Effective communication in the workplace doesn’t have to be challenging, but it does have to be intentional. Knowledge can only take us so far, but once again, knowing something is very different than putting it into action.

Just like riding a bike, the more often you do it, the easier it becomes. Master communicators are phenomenal listeners, which allows them to be effective communicators in the workplace and in life. If you genuinely want to own your communication, you must implement this information today and learn how to improve your listening skills.

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Choose your words carefully, listen intently, and most of all, be present in the moment—because that’s what master communicators do, and you can do it, too!

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Featured photo credit: Mailchimp via unsplash.com

Reference

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