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Relationship Problems: How to Resolve the Conflicts

Relationship Problems: How to Resolve the Conflicts

When I was originally assigned this topic, I assumed what most people do: this applies only to romantic relationships. It left me stuck. How could I write about something I don’t believe I’m an expert in? My relationships have never been saved because realizing always happened a little too late. My only real area of expertise is this, being too late.

So I put it off. I attempted but nothing came to mind. When thinking about it today, I realized I wasn’t asked to provide the tips to solving a couple’s issues through a therapy session. I was being asked how to save a relationship. Relationships are with everyone: family, friends, co-workers, and partners. Our lives revolve around these relationships. So how do we keep them? How do we make it through the breaking points?

I’m going to ask you this: how bad do you want it? How important is the person in front of you? I think the answer to that, the honest one you give to no one but yourself, determines what happens next in this situation.

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I had to think about what happens in a conflict; how I choose to act when one occurs, and how I’ve seen those around me behave. I realize it’s the small things that end up cutting cords and never the big ones. Why? Because the big things are always held in. It’s never the big issues ending things; it’s a small thing that gets to be the tip of the iceberg.

Truth be told, we are people full of pride. We want to always be right, even when we’re wrong. I couldn’t even tell you why. It’s like we think we have the entire world figured out and no one else does. In reality, none of us have it figured out. We never will; all we can really do is try. Try to make it through with the people we love.

So how do you solve conflicts the right way? I’ll give you three of the hardest yet easiest steps in the world:

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1. Swallow your pride.

2. Bottle nothing in, communicate and make your words mean something.

3. Listen to yourself, not your friends.

Now let me elaborate on them.

We’re human. Nothing more and nothing less. Humans are flawed and this means we are always capable of making mistakes. We’re allowed to be wrong. Sometimes, we’re even supposed to be. Every moment you grew didn’t come from being just right and successful, it came from trial and error. Ask yourself if the argument is worth it. Is being right more important than being happy?

I’m not a talker. There are a lot of people who aren’t. Maybe it’s because we feel our opinions don’t matter. This only gets you so far in life. When something bothers you, say it. Holding it in only makes you hold a grudge. It creates an unnecessary distaste towards someone. Communication really is the key to everything. Every relationship needs it. Think of how relationship starts: communication. It doesn’t work without it.

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When in a tough situation, we run to our support group. We call our best friends and tell them what’s up so they feed us a line or two to feed our egos. My friends always tell me I’m right because I know if the roles were reversed, it’s what they want to hear from me. Don’t take the advice you want, take the advice you need. The right advice is in your heart 99% of the time. You want advice? You want to know what to do? Go to the person you’re trying to save. No one knows them better.

I asked before how bad you want this relationship. Now show me. Show me you want it, and what you’re willing to do for it. Words only mean so much, and for so long. No one wants empty ones. Words are our world, the key to language, how we communicate, and how we express ourselves. All of this, made up of words. Who are we to take away the power of the only thing we have to express who we are?

I can’t tell anyone the exact way to fix their issues. I could just tell them it’s a lot easier to try when you still can than it is to say “what if” when it’s all over. You never know when you’re going to make it to the last straw. So treat everyone and everything you have as if there is no room for anything but your best. In the end, if your best isn’t enough, nothing ever will be.

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Featured photo credit: Nothing else matters/amira_a via flickr.com

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

What do I want to do with my life? It’s a question all of us think about at one point or another.

For some, the answer comes easily. For others, it takes a lifetime to figure out.

It’s easy to just go through the motions and continue to do what’s comfortable and familiar. But for those of you who seek fulfillment, who want to do more, these questions will help you paint a clearer picture of what you want to do with your life.

1. What are the things I’m most passionate about?

The first step to living a more fulfilling life is to think about the things that you’re passionate about.

What do you love? What fulfills you? What “work” do you do that doesn’t feel like work? Maybe you enjoy writing, maybe you love working with animals or maybe you have a knack for photography.

The point is, figure out what you love doing, then do more of it.

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2. What are my greatest accomplishments in life so far?

Think about your past experiences and the things in your life you’re most proud of.

How did those accomplishments make you feel? Pretty darn good, right? So why not try and emulate those experiences and feelings?

If you ran a marathon once and loved the feeling you had afterwards, start training for another one. If your child grew up to be a star athlete or musician because of your teachings, then be a coach or mentor for other kids.

Continue to do the things that have been most fulfilling for you.

3. If my life had absolutely no limits, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?

Here’s a cool exercise: Think about what you would do if you had no limits.

If you had all the money and time in the world, where would you go? What would you do? Who would you spend time with?

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These answers can help you figure out what you want to do with your life. It doesn’t mean you need millions of dollars to be happy though.

What it does mean is answering these questions will help you set goals to reach certain milestones and create a path toward happiness and fulfillment. Which leads to our next question …

4. What are my goals in life?

Goals are a necessary component to set you up for a happy future. So answer these questions:

Once you figure out the answers to each of these, you’ll have a much better idea of what you should do with your life.

5. Whom do I admire most in the world?

Following the path of successful people can set you up for success.

Think about the people you respect and admire most. What are their best qualities? Why do you respect them? What can you learn from them?

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You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.[1] So don’t waste your time with people who hold you back from achieving your dreams.

Spend more time with happy, successful, optimistic people and you’ll become one of them.

6. What do I not like to do?

An important part of figuring out what you want to do with your life is honestly assessing what you don’t want to do.

What are the things you despise? What bugs you the most about your current job?

Maybe you hate meetings even though you sit through 6 hours of them every day. If that’s the case, find a job where you can work more independently.

The point is, if you want something to change in your life, you need to take action. Which leads to our final question …

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7. How hard am I willing to work to get what I want?

Great accomplishments never come easy. If you want to do great things with your life, you’re going to have to make a great effort. That will probably mean putting in more hours the average person, getting outside your comfort zone and learning as much as you can to achieve as much as you can.

But here’s the cool part: it’s often the journey that is the most fulfilling part. It’s during these seemingly small, insignificant moments that you’ll often find that “aha” moments that helps you answer the question,

“What do I want to do with my life?”

So take the first step toward improving your life. You won’t regret it.

Featured photo credit: Andrew Ly via unsplash.com

Reference

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