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Relationship Problems: How to Resolve the Conflicts

Relationship Problems: How to Resolve the Conflicts

When I was originally assigned this topic, I assumed what most people do: this applies only to romantic relationships. It left me stuck. How could I write about something I don’t believe I’m an expert in? My relationships have never been saved because realizing always happened a little too late. My only real area of expertise is this, being too late.

So I put it off. I attempted but nothing came to mind. When thinking about it today, I realized I wasn’t asked to provide the tips to solving a couple’s issues through a therapy session. I was being asked how to save a relationship. Relationships are with everyone: family, friends, co-workers, and partners. Our lives revolve around these relationships. So how do we keep them? How do we make it through the breaking points?

I’m going to ask you this: how bad do you want it? How important is the person in front of you? I think the answer to that, the honest one you give to no one but yourself, determines what happens next in this situation.

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I had to think about what happens in a conflict; how I choose to act when one occurs, and how I’ve seen those around me behave. I realize it’s the small things that end up cutting cords and never the big ones. Why? Because the big things are always held in. It’s never the big issues ending things; it’s a small thing that gets to be the tip of the iceberg.

Truth be told, we are people full of pride. We want to always be right, even when we’re wrong. I couldn’t even tell you why. It’s like we think we have the entire world figured out and no one else does. In reality, none of us have it figured out. We never will; all we can really do is try. Try to make it through with the people we love.

So how do you solve conflicts the right way? I’ll give you three of the hardest yet easiest steps in the world:

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1. Swallow your pride.

2. Bottle nothing in, communicate and make your words mean something.

3. Listen to yourself, not your friends.

Now let me elaborate on them.

We’re human. Nothing more and nothing less. Humans are flawed and this means we are always capable of making mistakes. We’re allowed to be wrong. Sometimes, we’re even supposed to be. Every moment you grew didn’t come from being just right and successful, it came from trial and error. Ask yourself if the argument is worth it. Is being right more important than being happy?

I’m not a talker. There are a lot of people who aren’t. Maybe it’s because we feel our opinions don’t matter. This only gets you so far in life. When something bothers you, say it. Holding it in only makes you hold a grudge. It creates an unnecessary distaste towards someone. Communication really is the key to everything. Every relationship needs it. Think of how relationship starts: communication. It doesn’t work without it.

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When in a tough situation, we run to our support group. We call our best friends and tell them what’s up so they feed us a line or two to feed our egos. My friends always tell me I’m right because I know if the roles were reversed, it’s what they want to hear from me. Don’t take the advice you want, take the advice you need. The right advice is in your heart 99% of the time. You want advice? You want to know what to do? Go to the person you’re trying to save. No one knows them better.

I asked before how bad you want this relationship. Now show me. Show me you want it, and what you’re willing to do for it. Words only mean so much, and for so long. No one wants empty ones. Words are our world, the key to language, how we communicate, and how we express ourselves. All of this, made up of words. Who are we to take away the power of the only thing we have to express who we are?

I can’t tell anyone the exact way to fix their issues. I could just tell them it’s a lot easier to try when you still can than it is to say “what if” when it’s all over. You never know when you’re going to make it to the last straw. So treat everyone and everything you have as if there is no room for anything but your best. In the end, if your best isn’t enough, nothing ever will be.

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Featured photo credit: Nothing else matters/amira_a via flickr.com

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Last Updated on July 18, 2019

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

Some people just seem to float through life with a relentless sense of happiness – through the toughest of times, they’re unfazed and aloof, stopping to smell the roses and drinking out of a glass half full.

They may not have much to be happy about, but the simplicity behind that fact itself may make them happy.

It’s all a matter of perspective, conscious effort and self-awareness. Listed below are a number of reasons why some people are always happy.

1. They Manage Their Expectations

They’re not crushed when they don’t get what they want – or misled into expecting to get the most out of every situation. They approach every situation pragmatically, hoping for the best but being prepared for the worst.

2. They Don’t Set Unrealistic Standards

Similar to the last point, they don’t live their lives in a constant pursuit towards impossible visions of perfection, only to always find themselves falling short of what they want.

3. They Don’t Take Anything for Granted

Happiness rests with feeling fulfilled – those who fail to stop and appreciate what they have every now and again will never experience true fulfillment.

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4. They’re Not Materialistic

There are arguing viewpoints on whether or not money can really buy happiness; if it can, then we know from experience that we can never be satisfied because there will always be something newer or better that we want. Who has ever had enough money?

5. They Don’t Dwell

They don’t sweat the small things or waste time worrying about things that don’t really matter at the end of the day. They don’t let negative thoughts latch onto them and drain them or distract them. Life’s too short to worry.

6. They Care About Themselves First

They’re independent, care for themselves and understand that they must put their needs first in order to accommodate the needs of others.

They indulge, aim to get what they want, make time for themselves and are extremely self-reliant.

7. They Enjoy the Little Things

They stop to smell the roses. They’re accustomed to find serenity when it’s available, to welcome entertainment or a stimulating discussion with a stranger when it crosses their path. They don’t overlook the small things in life that can be just as important.

8. They Can Adapt

They’re not afraid of change and they work to make the most out of new circumstances, good or bad. They thrive under pressure, are not overwhelmed easily and always embrace a change of pace.

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9. They Experiment

They try new things, experience new flavors and never shy away from something they have yet to experience. They never order twice from the same menu.

10. They Take Their Time

They don’t unnecessarily rush through life. They work on their own schedule to the extent that they can and maneuver through life at their own relaxing pace.

11. They Employ Different Perspectives

They’re not stuck in one perspective; a loss can result in a new opportunity, hitting rock bottom can mean that there’s no where to go but up.

12. They Seek to Learn

Their constant pursuit of knowledge keeps them inspired and interested in life. They cherish information and are on a life-long quest to learn as much as they can.

13. They Always Have a Plan

They don’t find themselves drifting without purpose. When something doesn’t go as planned, they have a plan for every letter in the alphabet to fall back on.

14. They Give Respect to Get It

They are respectful and, in turn, are seen as respectable; the respect they exude earns them the respect they deserve.

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15. They Consider Every Opportunity

They always have their eyes open for a new road, a new avenue worth exploring. They know how to recognize opportune moments and pounce on them to make the most of every situation. Success is inevitable for them.

16. They Always Seek to Improve

Perpetual self-improvement is the key towards their ongoing thirst for success. Whatever it is they do, they take pride in getting better and better, from social interactions to mundane tasks. Their pursuit at being the best eventually materializes.

17. They Don’t Take Life Too Seriously

They’re not ones to get offended easily over-analyze or complicate matters. They laugh at their own faults and misfortunes.

18. They Live in the Moment

They don’t live for tomorrow or dwell on what may have happened yesterday. Every day is a new opportunity, a new chapter. They live in the now, and in doing so, get the most out of every moment.

You can learn how to do so too: How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future

19. They Say Yes

Much more often than they say no. They don’t have to be badgered to go out, don’t shy away from new opportunities or anything that may seem inconvenient.

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20. They’re Self-Aware

Most important, they’re wholly aware of themselves. They self-reflect and are conscious of their states of mind. If somethings bothering them, they fix it.

We’re all susceptible to feeling down every now and again, but we are all equipped with the necessary solutions that just have to be discovered.

Lack of confidence, inability to feel fulfilled, and susceptibility to stress are all matters that can be controlled through the way we handle our lives and perceive our circumstances.

Learn about How Self-Reflection Gives You a Happier and More Successful Life.

Final Thoughts

The main philosophy employed by the happiest includes the idea that life’s simply too short: life’s too short to let things get you down, to take things for granted, to pursue absolute and unrealistic perfection.

For some, employing these characteristics is a second nature – they do it without knowing. For others, a conscious effort must be put forth every now and again. Self-Awareness is key.

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Featured photo credit: Charles Postiaux via unsplash.com

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