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This Is Why You Shouldn’t Please Others But Yourself

This Is Why You Shouldn’t Please Others But Yourself

Who doesn’t want to be liked and accepted by their peers? I understand why you try to please others, but if you’re bending over backwards in a Herculean effort to make every single person happy, you need to knock it off. People-pleasing is an exhausting (and dishonest) activity that is stressing you out. If you suffer from approval addiction, I invite you to click ahead to discover why you should stop pleasing others but yourself.

Loss of Identity

If you are putting on a different show for every audience you come across during the day, it’s easy to lose track of who you really are. Ponder the personality and attitude you reflect with your friends, family, and co-workers. If you notice a stark contrast in how you behave in each social scenario, you are being untrue to yourself. I know there are certain things about you that you might want to avoid talking about with specific people and I get that, so please understand that I am not saying you should talk about your sex life with your parents or co-workers, but if you’re changing your personality and behavior wildly throughout the day, you are being dishonest, and phoniness can be detected from miles away. Be true to who you are, no matter who you are with. Don’t feel like you have to hide the quirky (interesting), strange (unique), or awkward (special) things about yourself, because this is precisely what makes you the wonderful individual you are.

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Wasted Time and Energy

Have you ever made plans that you really weren’t at all interested in, dreaded it all day, but then at the last second the person (who you didn’t want to hang out with at all) canceled and you felt so relieved? I know it’s difficult to say “no”, but life is too short to spend it doing things you don’t like to do. Be more mindful of how you spend your day and you’ll have more time for new hobbies, self-development, relaxation, and activities that make you truly happy.

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Sky-High Swagger and Confidence

Shape-shifting your personality to fit who other people think you should be is a sure-fire way to wreck your self-esteem. How could you be confident in who you really are when you’re making such a supreme effort to hide your genuine self from the world? When you learn to be comfortable with the fact that some people will disapprove of you no matter what you do (and stand firm despite that reality!), you will walk with swagger unlike ever before. There will always be people who don’t like you no matter what you do, so you might as well embrace the authentic (and wonderful) person you are without apology.

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More Fulfilling Relationships

If a person likes you for a complete fabrication of a personality you have invented, what’s the point? I would rather have a few friends who love and accept me as I am than a lot of friends who like a phony. Embrace your true self and share it with the world. It is true that some people won’t be fans of your authentic self, but it’s also true that the ones who matter will stand by your side no matter what. The quantity of your relationships is meaningless, so shift your focus to the quality relationships that make you happy and fulfilled. If you’d like to step up the quality of your romantic relationship, check out these 15 rules that will help you deepen your relationship.

I Dare You to Tell Me Something Quirky, Strange, or Unique about Yourself (Confession Time!)

You don’t need to change yourself to please others (and you do need to be true to you for your mental health and happiness!). The world needs the special gift that only you can bring to the table. What’s something interesting about yourself that makes you the unique individual you are?

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Daniel Wallen

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

What do I want to do with my life? It’s a question all of us think about at one point or another.

For some, the answer comes easily. For others, it takes a lifetime to figure out.

It’s easy to just go through the motions and continue to do what’s comfortable and familiar. But for those of you who seek fulfillment, who want to do more, these questions will help you paint a clearer picture of what you want to do with your life.

1. What are the things I’m most passionate about?

The first step to living a more fulfilling life is to think about the things that you’re passionate about.

What do you love? What fulfills you? What “work” do you do that doesn’t feel like work? Maybe you enjoy writing, maybe you love working with animals or maybe you have a knack for photography.

The point is, figure out what you love doing, then do more of it.

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2. What are my greatest accomplishments in life so far?

Think about your past experiences and the things in your life you’re most proud of.

How did those accomplishments make you feel? Pretty darn good, right? So why not try and emulate those experiences and feelings?

If you ran a marathon once and loved the feeling you had afterwards, start training for another one. If your child grew up to be a star athlete or musician because of your teachings, then be a coach or mentor for other kids.

Continue to do the things that have been most fulfilling for you.

3. If my life had absolutely no limits, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?

Here’s a cool exercise: Think about what you would do if you had no limits.

If you had all the money and time in the world, where would you go? What would you do? Who would you spend time with?

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These answers can help you figure out what you want to do with your life. It doesn’t mean you need millions of dollars to be happy though.

What it does mean is answering these questions will help you set goals to reach certain milestones and create a path toward happiness and fulfillment. Which leads to our next question …

4. What are my goals in life?

Goals are a necessary component to set you up for a happy future. So answer these questions:

Once you figure out the answers to each of these, you’ll have a much better idea of what you should do with your life.

5. Whom do I admire most in the world?

Following the path of successful people can set you up for success.

Think about the people you respect and admire most. What are their best qualities? Why do you respect them? What can you learn from them?

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You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.[1] So don’t waste your time with people who hold you back from achieving your dreams.

Spend more time with happy, successful, optimistic people and you’ll become one of them.

6. What do I not like to do?

An important part of figuring out what you want to do with your life is honestly assessing what you don’t want to do.

What are the things you despise? What bugs you the most about your current job?

Maybe you hate meetings even though you sit through 6 hours of them every day. If that’s the case, find a job where you can work more independently.

The point is, if you want something to change in your life, you need to take action. Which leads to our final question …

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7. How hard am I willing to work to get what I want?

Great accomplishments never come easy. If you want to do great things with your life, you’re going to have to make a great effort. That will probably mean putting in more hours the average person, getting outside your comfort zone and learning as much as you can to achieve as much as you can.

But here’s the cool part: it’s often the journey that is the most fulfilling part. It’s during these seemingly small, insignificant moments that you’ll often find that “aha” moments that helps you answer the question,

“What do I want to do with my life?”

So take the first step toward improving your life. You won’t regret it.

Featured photo credit: Andrew Ly via unsplash.com

Reference

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