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Why Loving Someone Can Sometimes Mean Letting Him/Her Go

Why Loving Someone Can Sometimes Mean Letting Him/Her Go

Breaking up with someone is one of the hardest things to do. Especially when you’ve been with them for a long time.

It’s not just not having that rock to lean your back on anymore but the complete disentanglement of two lives can be very painful. You have to split up the possessions, discuss who keeps the kids and pets (where applicable), and then figure out how to get along without those people.

Sometimes it’s too easy to fall back into the same old routine. Forgive the past and ignore the pet peeves that drove you apart to begin with just so you don’t have to be alone. That isn’t always the best idea.

Remember why it happened

There is a reason the first breakup occurred to begin with and it’s so important to remember that.

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When couples try again that is usually the first thing that they forget. People are who they are; sometimes they need a different influence in their life. In other words, the mistakes that they made before are mistakes they will likely make again. If you dumped someone for lying and then get back together with them, they will probably lie again.

Now this may sound like the other person is a bad person but that’s not true. People don’t lie to you because they’re not trustworthy. They lie because they think you’re not trustworthy.

It’s the same with most relationship problems. If something bad happened, chances are it’s because of a misconceptions each person had about one another. When trying again, most people don’t address those misconceptions and are thus doomed to repeat past mistakes.

If you can’t figure out why you broke up to begin with, then getting back together will only result in the same thing.

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Sometimes it’s less painful in the long haul

You may have heard the phrase that if you love something, you have to let it go. Unfortunately that statement is true.

It’s a difficult thing to have to admit to yourself but sometimes you have to admit that the person you’re with would be happier without you. It may not be that you’re a bad person but you’re just not what the other person is looking for.

When you’re with someone who isn’t right for you, it’ll be painful. You’ll continue to fight. Bad things will continue to happen.

Sure you may be happy at first but it’s nothing more than precursor to months upon months of potential misery that ends with yet another breakup. You don’t deserve that and your partner doesn’t deserve that.

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The things people will go through for love are ridiculous sometimes. You may love someone very much but if you two just can’t figure out a way to be happy, then it’s time to let them find someone who can.

Sometimes you can’t show how much you love someone

There are a lot of other reasons that people just can’t love someone as much as they want to. Being in a high stress job is a common one. You may love your significant other but you’re always at work. If you don’t spend any time with them then the relationship just won’t work. You may be emotionally, mentally, or physically stunted and can’t satisfy your partner in those areas as much as you want to. Perhaps they simply want a different kind of love than you are capable of giving.

Love is a tricky thing like that. It’s not a base emotion that is explainable. It’s an ever moving and evolving emotion that changes and matures over time. Some people only like it when they feel the feeling of butterflies in their stomachs that comes with new love. Others enjoy the routine of having someone always there to lean on. If you’re a butterflies lover and your partner is a routine-rock lover then obviously things aren’t going to last forever.

It’s truly difficult to explain specific circumstances where it’s better to let someone you love go because everyone’s situation is so different. There is no such thing as a typical relationship and there is no such thing as typical love.

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In many cases when you need to let someone you love go there’s a feeling. Many people ignore the feeling or don’t recognize it but it is a palpable feeling. When it’s time to call it quits, you will know. It’s just a matter of acting on the feeling.

Featured photo credit: Young couple in love outdoor.Stunning sensual outdoor portrait of young stylish fashion couple posing in summer in field via shutterstock.com

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Joseph Hindy

A writer, editor, and YouTuber who likes to share about technology and lifestyle tips.

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Last Updated on September 17, 2019

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

Positive thinking can lead to a lot of positive change in your life. Developing an optimistic outlook can be good for both your physical and mental health.

But sometimes, certain situations arise in life that makes it hard to keep a positive outlook. Take steps to make positive thinking become more like your second nature and you’ll reap the biggest benefits.

Here are 10 ways to make thinking positive thoughts easy:

1. Spend Time with Positive People

If you surround yourself with constant complainers, their negativity is likely to rub off on you.

Spend time with positive friends and family members to increase the likelihood that their positive thinking habits will become yours too. It’s hard to be negative when everyone around you is so positive.

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2. Take Responsibility for Your Behavior

When you encounter problems and difficulties in life, don’t play the role of the victim. Acknowledge your role in the situation and take responsibility for your behavior.

Accepting responsibility can help you learn from mistakes and prevent you from blaming others unfairly.

3. Contribute to the Community

One of the best ways to feel good about what you have, is to focus on what you have to give.

Volunteer in some manner and give back to the community. Helping others can give you a new outlook on the world and can assist you with positive thinking.

4. Read Positive and Inspirational Materials

Spend time each day reading something that encourages positive thinking. Read the Bible, spiritual material, or inspirational quotes to help you focus on what’s important to you in life. It can be a great way to start and end your day.

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Some recommendations for you:

5. Recognize and Replace Negative Thoughts

You won’t be successful at positive thinking if you’re still plagued by frequent negative thoughts. Learn to recognize and replace thoughts that are overly negative. Often, thoughts that include words like “always” and “never” signal that they aren’t true.

If you find yourself thinking something such as, “I always mess everything up,” replace it with something more realistic such as, “Sometimes I make mistakes but I learn from them.”

There’s no need to make your thoughts unrealistically positive, but instead, make them more realistic.

6. Establish and Work Toward Goals

It’s easier to be positive about problems and setbacks when you have goals that you’re working toward. Goals will give you motivation to overcome those obstacles when you encounter problems along the way. Without clear goals, it’s harder to make decisions and gauge your progress.

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Learn to set SMART goals to help you achieve more.

7. Consider the Consequences of Negativity

Spend some time thinking about the consequences of negative thinking. Often, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

For example, a person who thinks, “I probably won’t get this job interview,” may put less effort into the interview. As a result, he may decrease his chances of getting the job.

Create a list of all the ways negative thinking impacts your life. It likely influences your behavior, your relationships, and your feelings. Then, create a list of the ways in which positive thinking could be beneficial.

8. Offer Compliments to Others

Look for reasons to compliment others. Be genuine in your praise and compliments, but offer it frequently. This will help you look for the good in other people.

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9. Create a Daily Gratitude List

If you start keeping a daily gratitude list, you’ll start noticing exactly how much you have to be thankful for. This can help you focus on the positive in your life instead of thinking about all the bad things that have happened in the day.

Getting in the habit of showing an attitude of gratitude makes positive thinking more of a habit. Here’re 40 Simple Ways To Practice Gratitude.

10. Practice Self-Care

Take good care of yourself and you’ll be more equipped to think positively.

Get plenty of rest and exercise and practice managing your stress well. Taking care of your physical and mental health will provide you with more energy to focus on positive thinking.

Learn about these 30 Self-Care Habits for a Strong and Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit.

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Featured photo credit: DESIGNECOLOGIST via unsplash.com

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