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Why Loving Someone Can Sometimes Mean Letting Him/Her Go

Why Loving Someone Can Sometimes Mean Letting Him/Her Go

Breaking up with someone is one of the hardest things to do. Especially when you’ve been with them for a long time.

It’s not just not having that rock to lean your back on anymore but the complete disentanglement of two lives can be very painful. You have to split up the possessions, discuss who keeps the kids and pets (where applicable), and then figure out how to get along without those people.

Sometimes it’s too easy to fall back into the same old routine. Forgive the past and ignore the pet peeves that drove you apart to begin with just so you don’t have to be alone. That isn’t always the best idea.

Remember why it happened

There is a reason the first breakup occurred to begin with and it’s so important to remember that.

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When couples try again that is usually the first thing that they forget. People are who they are; sometimes they need a different influence in their life. In other words, the mistakes that they made before are mistakes they will likely make again. If you dumped someone for lying and then get back together with them, they will probably lie again.

Now this may sound like the other person is a bad person but that’s not true. People don’t lie to you because they’re not trustworthy. They lie because they think you’re not trustworthy.

It’s the same with most relationship problems. If something bad happened, chances are it’s because of a misconceptions each person had about one another. When trying again, most people don’t address those misconceptions and are thus doomed to repeat past mistakes.

If you can’t figure out why you broke up to begin with, then getting back together will only result in the same thing.

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Sometimes it’s less painful in the long haul

You may have heard the phrase that if you love something, you have to let it go. Unfortunately that statement is true.

It’s a difficult thing to have to admit to yourself but sometimes you have to admit that the person you’re with would be happier without you. It may not be that you’re a bad person but you’re just not what the other person is looking for.

When you’re with someone who isn’t right for you, it’ll be painful. You’ll continue to fight. Bad things will continue to happen.

Sure you may be happy at first but it’s nothing more than precursor to months upon months of potential misery that ends with yet another breakup. You don’t deserve that and your partner doesn’t deserve that.

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The things people will go through for love are ridiculous sometimes. You may love someone very much but if you two just can’t figure out a way to be happy, then it’s time to let them find someone who can.

Sometimes you can’t show how much you love someone

There are a lot of other reasons that people just can’t love someone as much as they want to. Being in a high stress job is a common one. You may love your significant other but you’re always at work. If you don’t spend any time with them then the relationship just won’t work. You may be emotionally, mentally, or physically stunted and can’t satisfy your partner in those areas as much as you want to. Perhaps they simply want a different kind of love than you are capable of giving.

Love is a tricky thing like that. It’s not a base emotion that is explainable. It’s an ever moving and evolving emotion that changes and matures over time. Some people only like it when they feel the feeling of butterflies in their stomachs that comes with new love. Others enjoy the routine of having someone always there to lean on. If you’re a butterflies lover and your partner is a routine-rock lover then obviously things aren’t going to last forever.

It’s truly difficult to explain specific circumstances where it’s better to let someone you love go because everyone’s situation is so different. There is no such thing as a typical relationship and there is no such thing as typical love.

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In many cases when you need to let someone you love go there’s a feeling. Many people ignore the feeling or don’t recognize it but it is a palpable feeling. When it’s time to call it quits, you will know. It’s just a matter of acting on the feeling.

Featured photo credit: Young couple in love outdoor.Stunning sensual outdoor portrait of young stylish fashion couple posing in summer in field via shutterstock.com

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Joseph Hindy

A writer, editor, and YouTuber who likes to share about technology and lifestyle tips.

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Last Updated on July 18, 2019

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

Some people just seem to float through life with a relentless sense of happiness – through the toughest of times, they’re unfazed and aloof, stopping to smell the roses and drinking out of a glass half full.

They may not have much to be happy about, but the simplicity behind that fact itself may make them happy.

It’s all a matter of perspective, conscious effort and self-awareness. Listed below are a number of reasons why some people are always happy.

1. They Manage Their Expectations

They’re not crushed when they don’t get what they want – or misled into expecting to get the most out of every situation. They approach every situation pragmatically, hoping for the best but being prepared for the worst.

2. They Don’t Set Unrealistic Standards

Similar to the last point, they don’t live their lives in a constant pursuit towards impossible visions of perfection, only to always find themselves falling short of what they want.

3. They Don’t Take Anything for Granted

Happiness rests with feeling fulfilled – those who fail to stop and appreciate what they have every now and again will never experience true fulfillment.

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4. They’re Not Materialistic

There are arguing viewpoints on whether or not money can really buy happiness; if it can, then we know from experience that we can never be satisfied because there will always be something newer or better that we want. Who has ever had enough money?

5. They Don’t Dwell

They don’t sweat the small things or waste time worrying about things that don’t really matter at the end of the day. They don’t let negative thoughts latch onto them and drain them or distract them. Life’s too short to worry.

6. They Care About Themselves First

They’re independent, care for themselves and understand that they must put their needs first in order to accommodate the needs of others.

They indulge, aim to get what they want, make time for themselves and are extremely self-reliant.

7. They Enjoy the Little Things

They stop to smell the roses. They’re accustomed to find serenity when it’s available, to welcome entertainment or a stimulating discussion with a stranger when it crosses their path. They don’t overlook the small things in life that can be just as important.

8. They Can Adapt

They’re not afraid of change and they work to make the most out of new circumstances, good or bad. They thrive under pressure, are not overwhelmed easily and always embrace a change of pace.

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9. They Experiment

They try new things, experience new flavors and never shy away from something they have yet to experience. They never order twice from the same menu.

10. They Take Their Time

They don’t unnecessarily rush through life. They work on their own schedule to the extent that they can and maneuver through life at their own relaxing pace.

11. They Employ Different Perspectives

They’re not stuck in one perspective; a loss can result in a new opportunity, hitting rock bottom can mean that there’s no where to go but up.

12. They Seek to Learn

Their constant pursuit of knowledge keeps them inspired and interested in life. They cherish information and are on a life-long quest to learn as much as they can.

13. They Always Have a Plan

They don’t find themselves drifting without purpose. When something doesn’t go as planned, they have a plan for every letter in the alphabet to fall back on.

14. They Give Respect to Get It

They are respectful and, in turn, are seen as respectable; the respect they exude earns them the respect they deserve.

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15. They Consider Every Opportunity

They always have their eyes open for a new road, a new avenue worth exploring. They know how to recognize opportune moments and pounce on them to make the most of every situation. Success is inevitable for them.

16. They Always Seek to Improve

Perpetual self-improvement is the key towards their ongoing thirst for success. Whatever it is they do, they take pride in getting better and better, from social interactions to mundane tasks. Their pursuit at being the best eventually materializes.

17. They Don’t Take Life Too Seriously

They’re not ones to get offended easily over-analyze or complicate matters. They laugh at their own faults and misfortunes.

18. They Live in the Moment

They don’t live for tomorrow or dwell on what may have happened yesterday. Every day is a new opportunity, a new chapter. They live in the now, and in doing so, get the most out of every moment.

You can learn how to do so too: How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future

19. They Say Yes

Much more often than they say no. They don’t have to be badgered to go out, don’t shy away from new opportunities or anything that may seem inconvenient.

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20. They’re Self-Aware

Most important, they’re wholly aware of themselves. They self-reflect and are conscious of their states of mind. If somethings bothering them, they fix it.

We’re all susceptible to feeling down every now and again, but we are all equipped with the necessary solutions that just have to be discovered.

Lack of confidence, inability to feel fulfilled, and susceptibility to stress are all matters that can be controlled through the way we handle our lives and perceive our circumstances.

Learn about How Self-Reflection Gives You a Happier and More Successful Life.

Final Thoughts

The main philosophy employed by the happiest includes the idea that life’s simply too short: life’s too short to let things get you down, to take things for granted, to pursue absolute and unrealistic perfection.

For some, employing these characteristics is a second nature – they do it without knowing. For others, a conscious effort must be put forth every now and again. Self-Awareness is key.

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Featured photo credit: Charles Postiaux via unsplash.com

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