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How to Write a Love Letter

How to Write a Love Letter

You’re in love and you want to know how to write a love letter. With modern technology, sometimes it’s hard to sit down and pen a handwritten letter, but few things make more of a statement than beautifully crafted words on paper to the love of your life.

More men seem to be love letter scribes than women.That’s not to say women don’t write them, but have you ever noticed that a man who might not be able to express himself that well verbally, finds his voice and clarity in writing?

It’s not that easy to write a letter expressing your deepest romantic feelings, though. It takes time, practice and patience to get it just right. A few pointers will help you in your quest to shower your romantic love with words that will melt the heart.

The Letter Opening

When you start your letter, say why you’re writing it in the first place. Is it a special occasion? Is it her birthday? Has he been feeling under the weather? Use those prompts to get you started.

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For example:

To My Dearest Love,

When I saw your hair blowing in the wind, as you walked through the park on that July 4th afternoon, my heart just melted. I needed to express my feelings for you with pomp and circumstance with the fireworks of a hand-written letter.

Talk About How You Met in the Letter

In the next paragraph, talk about what you have in common that brought you together. Did you meet while skiing? Do you attend church together? Do you have pets that allowed you to meet? This brings back a good memory that will give your significant other a sense of nostalgia and mutual understanding.

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I will never forget that day when I went to the dog park and my pooch stole your dog treats. I couldn’t believe he tore into the whole bag and you just laughed. My breath caught right there. Your smile lifted my mood. I’ll never forget that look of appreciation you had when I brought some homemade doggie snacks to make up for it. That was when I knew I couldn’t wait to take you on a proper date.

You may not need to do this in subsequent love letters, but for the first one or two, recounting how you met is sure to bring a smile to his or her face.

Talk About What You Love About Him or Her

What is it exactly that made you fall in love? Was it her eyes? His confidence? Does she “have it together”? Tell about all the things that made you go wild for your love.

After I met you, I found out that you had a great career, a house, and you’re just brilliant! You’re a teacher and you work with children – what a wonderful calling. Your patience, gentleness and beauty just attract people toward you. Your eyes are the deepest blue I’ve ever seen. They’re like the crystalline waters of the Caribbean Sea, reminding me that one day, I want to go there with you.

Next, Write About How You’ve Changed Since Meeting Your Love

Do you notice that you’re a better person since meeting him or her? Do you get butterflies in your stomach when you think of him? Does a smile come to your face at the mention of his name? Talk about that. This lets your love know that your life has changed for the better – always a good thing.

This morning, I was getting coffee before work. I kept picturing you standing next to me, with the scent of your hair making my senses go wild. Just thinking of you made me grin widely. The person behind the counter kept wondering just what was making me smile so big and even asked me, ‘Why the big smile?’ I just answered, ‘I’ve met the love of my life and I’m complete now.’

Close the Letter

After you have expressed everything you want, close the letter. Affirm your commitment to the relationship. Talk about how you’re moving forward as a couple.

My love for you grows daily. My heart is full of wonder and excitement at the relationship we share. I want to be by your side through this life: through the ups and downs, the triumphs and defeats. You’re my partner and together we’re unstoppable.

Some Writing Tips

At first, writing a letter can be daunting. Don’t let that stop you. Just go for it: getting something on paper will release the creative juices you need to continue writing. It’s all a matter of getting started. That’s the hardest part. From there:

  • Know that you’ll probably need to write several drafts before you get the letter just the way you want it.
  • If you get stuck, say the words out loud you want to say, then go back and try to write them down.
  • Be yourself. If you’re not a poet normally, now may not be the best time to try to eke out some poetic prose. Either find a poem that helps express your thoughts, or just write as you normally would.
  • Don’t worry about being too “mushy.” Your love will just appreciate that you’ve written a letter expressing your sentiments.
  • Use the letter structure outlined above as a guide only. You may want to skip certain parts or expand upon others.
  • Don’t worry about fancy writing. Get to the point. If you think of a great word or sentence to use, go ahead. Again, your love will just appreciate the effort in the first place.
  • Use a letter-writing site. There are websites out there that can help you put your words on “parchment” and use great fonts to craft your letter.

With these guidelines and tips, you’re well on your way to crafting a perfect letter that will capture the heart of the one you love.

More by this author

Cyndi Calhoun

Cyndi is a passionate writer who writes about lifestyle tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on January 16, 2020

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

The way you feel about yourself greatly influences how you live and interact with others. If you are confident about yourself, you tend to see yourself positively and actually enjoy spending time with and around people. You don’t feel self-conscious or awkward around others, and that allows you to live your fullest and happiest life.

However, if you’re drowning in a sea of self-doubt, hesitancy and shyness, you often withdraw and isolate yourself from others and avoid interacting and connecting with people. That anxiety you feel in the pit of your stomach when you are around people is holding you back greatly and it is not good for your emotional health and overall well-being. You need to do something about it if you are low in self-confidence or have friends or family members who are not confident.

“Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone, it’s walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone” – Anonymous

Here are simple, practical tips to boost your confidence right now and make you feel and act your best.

1. Stop labeling yourself as awkward, timid or shy.

When you label yourself as awkward, timid or shy, you sub-consciously tell your mind to act accordingly and psychologically feel inclined to live up to those expectations. Instead of labeling and entertaining negative self-talk, visualize and affirm yourself as confident and strong. Close your eyes for a minute and visualize yourself in different situation as you would like to be.

Be your own cheerleader. Experts believe that positive affirmation and good mental practices like picturing yourself winning or achieving a goal can lead to greater feelings of self-assurance and prepare your brain for success.[1] As the saying goes, “seeing is believing.” Picture yourself as confident and soon enough you will begin to manifest behavior that gives evidence to this new ‘fact.’

2. Recognize that the world is not focused on you (unless, of course, you are Kanye West).

That means you don’t have to be excessively sensitive about who you are or what you are doing (or not doing). You are not on the center stage; there is no need for preoccupation with self and perfectionism. As rap music star Rocko sings, “You just do you and I will do me, aight?”

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Forget about trying to please everyone or being perfect. Trying to be perfect and being a people-pleaser puts too much pressure on you and creates unnecessary anxiety. Besides, people are too preoccupied with their own issues to pay much attention to your every move unless, of course, you are a mega famous, super celebrity like Beyonce or Kanye West.

3. Focus on other people as opposed to yourself.

If you are low on confidence, self-conscious, nervous and shy in social situations, focus your attention on other people and what they are saying or doing instead of focusing on your own awkwardness.

For example, think about what it is that is interesting about the person who’s the centre of the party or the guy or girl you are talking with. Prompt them to talk more about themselves and be genuinely curious and interested in what they say. You will instantly come across as confident and warmhearted.

People generally want to talk about themselves, be heard and understood. They will love it when you’re eager and willing to listen to them and really hear what they have to say.

This habit of focusing more on what you love in others as opposed to what you dislike in yourself will not only help you become more assertive and comfortable in virtually all social situations, but also instantly make you feel great about yourself.

4. Know (and accept) yourself for who you are.

Chinese military general, strategist and philosopher Sun Tzu, author of the internationally acclaimed book The Art of War, said, “Know yourself and you will win all battles.” Even in the battle with lack of confidence, you will need to know yourself to win.

Knowing yourself starts with understanding that people are not all the same, neither are all social situation suitable for everyone. You might not be confident in large gatherings, but you could be bold and confident in one-on-one and small group interactions. We all have our own unique gifts and unique ways of expressing ourselves. Embrace yours!

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Introverts, for example, have a quiet confidence that is, unfortunately, often confused for shyness. They are naturally low key and prefer to spend time alone. However, this natural disposition affords them certain unique gifts, such as an ability to listen better than most people and notice things that others don’t.

Your uniqueness is where your strength and advantage lies. You won’t be comfortable and confident in all situations all the time. Albert Einstein said,

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

5. Crack a smile.

If there is one sure way to instantly boost your confidence, it’s cracking a smile. Christine Clapp, a public speaking expert at The George Washington University, says that flashing those pretty, pearly white teeth will immediately make you appear both confident and composed. But, the effect of smiling is not just external. Studies show that smiling can also help nix feelings of stress and pave the way for a happier and more relaxed you.[2]

Not a bad return for something seemingly so trite, wouldn’t you agree?

6. Break a sweat—with exercise.

Working out is another great way to make yourself feel amazing and confident. Science has shown that exercising increases your endorphins, helps reduce stress, tones your muscles and makes you feel happy and confident.[3]

And hey, all you have to do is take a walk a few times a week and you’ll see the benefits. What seems to matter—as far as your confidence goes—is whether you break a sweat, not how strenuous your session is, which is pretty cool. Start working out now.

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7. Groom yourself.

This might seem mundane, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and shave can have on your confidence and self-image. And when you spritz on a scent, the boost on confidence and self-esteem is incredible. As it turns out, your favorite fragrance does more than make you smell oh-so-nice.

A study found that a fragrance can inspire confidence in men. Interestingly, the study also found that the more a man likes the fragrance, the more confident he might feel. Another study found that 90% of women feel more confident while wearing a scent than those who go fragrance-free.

8. Dress nicely.

Another one that might seem trite, but it works. If you dress nicely, you’ll instantly feel good about yourself and give your confidence a real boost. That is largely because you’ll feel attractive, presentable and sometimes even successful in nice clothes.

While dressing nicely means something different for everyone, it does not necessarily mean wearing $500 designer outfits. It means wearing clothes that are clean, that you are comfortable in and that are nice-looking and presentable, including casual clothes.

9. Do activities you enjoy.

Whether it is reading a book, playing a musical instrument, riding your bicycle or going fishing, do what you really enjoy and what makes you truly happy often. It will boost your self-esteem, soothe your ego and allow you to identify with your gifts and talents. That will in turn bolster your self-belief and grow your confidence exponentially.

You might not become popular for doing what you love, but you might not even want to be popular at all. Being popular doesn’t make you happy; doing what you love does.

10. Prepare for the possibility of rejection / setback.

Late World No. 1 professional tennis player Arthur Ashe said, “One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation.” You need to prepare for the possibility of rejection and setback.

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Why?

Everybody suffers rejection and setback at one point or another. You are not exempted. The question on your mind, therefore, should not be if you will be rejected, but how you will handle rejection when it comes.

Prepare yourself adequately in every situation to minimize the risk and effect of rejection and so that your confidence is not broken. For example, learn public speaking and rehearse what you are going to say beforehand if you have landed a public speaking engagement. That way, you are sure of yourself and confident you have what it takes to hack it. If you are rejected, don’t take it personally.

Rejection and setbacks happen to the best of us. Take it as a learning experience. Learn from your mistakes and move on.

11. Face uncomfortable situations square in the face.

Don’t run away from uncomfortable situations. Running away from people or situations because you feel scared, shy or timid only confirms and reinforces your shyness. Instead, face the situation that makes you uneasy square in the face. For example, go ahead and talk to that person you are afraid to approach, or go straight to the front of your yoga class! What’s the worst that can happen?

Prepare and be ready for any eventuality. The more you face your fears, the more you realize you are stronger than you thought and the more confident you get. This simple, yet admittedly courageous, act makes you unstoppable. You get comfortable being uncomfortable and begin to feel like you can take on the world. And that is the hallmark of someone destined for great things.

12. Sit up straight and walk tall—you are awesome!

Yes, sit up straight and believe you are awesome. Don’t slump in your chair or slouch your shoulders. Experts say the right stance can not only keep your self-esteem and mood lifted, but also lead to more confidence in your own thoughts.[4]

The way to sit is to open up your chest and keep your head level so that you look and feel poised and assured. And when you get up, stand tall and walk like you’re on a mission. People who sit up straight and walk tall are more attractive and instantly feel more confident. Try it now: you’ll feel fierce and confident just by sitting up straight and walking tall.

Featured photo credit: Freshh Connection via unsplash.com

Reference

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