Advertising
Advertising

How These 10 Things You Do Can Ruin A Perfectly Good Relationship

How These 10 Things You Do Can Ruin A Perfectly Good Relationship

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, so what better time to consider the status of modern relationships in the UK?

With Valentine’s Day spending set to exceed £1 billion in the UK after rising incrementally for the last two years, it would initially appear as though there are a healthy number of loving and contented relationships nationwide. The fact that men are continuing to do the majority of spending also suggests that the age of chivalry is far from dead, as male consumers look to spoil their loved ones with clothes, spa treatments and romantic breaks away. Even the concept of marriage, which is often undermined by a national divorce rate of approximately 40%, has become increasingly popular over the last two years with the rate of weddings having risen by 6.6% in this time.

As anyone in a relationship will testify, however, those involved must be proactive and invest time into making it successful. There are numerous internal and external factors that can impact on a relationship, so you need to take responsibility for your own actions and attitude. With this in mind, consider the following issues and how they can turn even the happiest relationship sour: –

Advertising

1. Neglecting to Take Care of your Appearance

While this may sound superficial, the level of pride that you take in your appearance often reflects you inherent values and the attitude that you have towards your relationship. Those who neglect to take care of themselves are essentially revealing a lack of drive or hunger for self-improvement, while also underlining the fact that they are not prepared to make an effort to look nice for their partner. This can slowly eat away at the foundations of a relationship, especially if your partner is extremely motivated to keep fit and take care of the image that they present.

2. Taking your Partner for Granted

Married couples have taken a lifetime vow to love and care for one another, and while this does not always work out, the original sentiment is almost universally heartfelt and genuine. It is all too easy for even happy and contented relationships to become stale, however, especially if you begin to take your partner for granted and fail to appreciate the qualities that you initially fell in love with all those years’ ago. For a relationship to remain happy and satisfied, you must continue to prove your love and appreciation throughout the duration of your time together.

3. Stockpiling Negative Emotions

Relationships are not always easy, as even genuine soul mates can encounter periods of turbulence, conflict and even infidelity. While the power of love can go a long way towards resolving these individual issues, however, it is crucial that you do not stockpile negative emotions in a way the breeds resentment, jealously or paranoia. If you continue to harbor negative feelings after a relationship breakdown, you must communicate this openly and ensure that they are resolved before you move on.

Advertising

4. Being Overly Critical of a Partner

We all have our own unique standards in life, and in an ideal world we would find a mate who shared these as closely as possible. This is not always possible, however, meaning that we must occasionally compromise on these ideals if a relationship to be successful. If you do find yourself in this position, it is also crucial that you refrain from being too critical of a partner who has less than exacting standards. The differences between two individuals must be embraced in a successful relationship, rather than being picked upon and criticized.

5. Failing to Understand Each Other’s Expectations from Life

It should be clear by now that a lack of communication is pivotal to the majority of most relationship issues, and this also applies to a failure to understand your partners’ expectations. Life goals vary according to each individual, as while some desire nothing more than to start a family others have more career-orientated aspirations. While there may be room for both in the modern family, it is crucial that every individual understands the needs of their partner and works together in a bid to achieve them.

6. Neglecting to Follow your Own Interests

While shared hobbies and pursuits offer couples the chance to strengthen their bond, it is also important that each individual has their own interests and past-times. This ensures that people retain their own unique identity throughout the course of their relationship, while it also creates talking points for couples to share at the end of a long, hard day. If you neglect to follow your interests, you could easily become frustrated and demotivated through the course of everyday life.

Advertising

7. Putting Yourself and Your Needs First

All successful relationships are based on a sense of compromise and collaboration, as each individual must consider the needs of their partner and place these ahead of their own. Individuals who continue to put their own needs first are unlikely to prosper in a relationship, simply because their better half will become tired of being marginalized and having their feelings disregarded over a prolonged period of time.

8. Avoiding Honest and Open Communication in a Bid to Keep the Peace

While honesty can ultimately save and preserve a relationship, it may also cause a significant amount of conflict and disruption in the process. You must never be afraid of engaging in honest and open communication as a way of resolving relationship issues, as your willingness to confront harsh home-truths reflects a desire to make a love-match work. If you look to avoid confrontation simply as a way of keeping the peace, the chances are that unresolved issues will fester and ultimately end the relationship prematurely.

9. Failing to Create the Ideal Work-life Balance

We all need to work, and the willingness to provide for your family is extremely admirable. While you would expect your partner to be understanding of your need to work irregular hours or occasional weekends, however, they may become frustrated if your schedule begins to impact negatively on the relationship. You must therefore strive to create a viable work-life balance, which enables you to spend more time at home and pay attention to the people that you love the most.

Advertising

10. Refusing to Say Sorry Even When you are in the Wrong

On a final note, not even the most loving relationship can survive without a certain amount of mutual respect. This can be shown in various ways, but one of the most obvious is the willingness to apologize and show remorse when you are in the wrong. This shows a keen sense of maturity and integrity, as you are happy to accept when you have made a mistake and offended your partner. If sorry is the hardest word for you to say, however, this stubborn and short-sighted outlook may well end up costing you your relationship.

Featured photo credit: Loving couple at the beach via shutterstock.com

More by this author

10 Reasons A Long-Distance Relationship Will Work 12 iPhone 6 Tricks You Probably Don’t Know But Should We Are Often Confused Empathy With Sympathy but What’s The Difference Actually? To Make Wise Decisions, Ask Yourself These Questions Every Time No Matter What You Say, the First Thing People Pay Attention to Is Only How You Say It

Trending in Communication

1 Positive and Negative Reinforcement: Which Is More Effective? 2 13 Reasons Why You Should Fail Fast to Learn Fast 3 10 Things to Do If You’re Feeling Hopeless About Your Future 4 5 Ways to Help Yourself Advance Your Mental Strength 5 Feeling Like a Failure? 10 Simple Things to Help You Rise Again

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on July 3, 2020

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

In today’s world, true peace must come from within us and our own actions. Here are 30 small things you can do on a regular basis to increase your overall sense of harmony, peace, and well-being:

1. Don’t go to every fight you’re invited to

Particularly when you’re around those who thrive on chaos, be willing to decline the invitation to join in on the drama.

2. Focus on your breath

Throughout the day, stop to take a few deep breaths. Keep stress at bay with techniques such as “square breathing.” Breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, then out for four counts, and hold again for four counts. Repeat this cycle four times.

3. Get organized and purge old items

A cluttered space often creates a cluttered spirit. Take the time to get rid of anything you haven’t used in a year and invest in organizational systems that help you sustain a level of neatness.

4. Stop yourself from being judgmental

Whenever you are tempted to have an opinion about someone else’s life, check your intentions. Judging others creates and promotes negative energy.

5. Say ‘thank you’ early and often

Start and end each day with an attitude of gratitude. Look for opportunities in your daily routine and interactions to express appreciation.

Advertising

6. Smile more

Even if you have to “fake it until you make it,” there are many scientific benefits of smiling and laughing. Also, pay attention to your facial expression when you are doing neutral activities such as driving and walking. Turn that frown upside down!

7. Don’t worry about the future

As difficult as this sounds, there is a direct connection between staying in the present and living a more peaceful life. You cannot control the future. As the old proverb goes, “Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere.” Practice gently bringing your thoughts back to the present.

8. Eat real food

The closer the food is to the state from which it came from the earth, the better you will feel in eating it. Choose foods that grew from a plant over food that was made in a plant.

9. Choose being happy over being right

Too often, we sacrifice inner peace in order to make a point. It’s rarely worth it.

10. Keep technology out of the bedroom

Many studies, such as one conducted by Brigham and Women’s Hospital, have connected blue light of electronic devices before bed to adverse sleep and overall health. To make matters worse, many people report that they cannot resist checking email and social media when their cell phone is in reach of their bed, regardless of the time.

11. Make use of filtering features on social media

You may not want to “unfriend” someone completely, however you can choose whether you want to follow their posts and/or the sources of information that they share.

Advertising

12. Get comfortable with silence

When you picture someone who is the ultimate state of peace, typically they aren’t talking.

13. Listen to understand, not to respond

So often in conversations, we use our ears to give us cues about when it is our turn to say what we want to say. Practice active listening, ask questions, process, then speak.

14. Put your troubles in a bubble

Whenever you start to feel anxious, visualize the situation being wrapped in a bubble and then picture that sphere floating away.

15. Speak more slowly

Often a lack of peace manifests itself in fast or clipped speech. Take a breath, slow down, and let your thoughtful consideration drive your words.

16. Don’t procrastinate

Nothing adds stress to our lives like waiting until the last minute.

17. Buy a coloring book

Mandala coloring books for adults are becoming more popular because of their connection to creating inner peace.

Advertising

18. Prioritize yourself

You are the only person who you are guaranteed to live with 24 hours a day for the rest of your life.

19. Forgive others

Holding a grudge is hurting you exponentially more than anyone else. Let it go.

20. Check your expectations

Presumption often leads to drama. Remember the old saying, “Expectations are premeditated resentments.”

21. Engage in active play

Let your inner child come out and have some fun. Jump, dance, play, and pretend!

22. Stop criticizing yourself

The world is a hard enough place with more than enough critics. Your life is not served well by being one of them.

23. Focus your energy and attention on what you want

Thoughts, words, and actions all create energy. Energy attracts like energy. Put out what you want to get back.

Advertising

24. Assign yourself “complaint free” days.

Make a conscious decision not to complain about anything for a whole day. It might be harder than you think and the awareness will stick with you.

25. Surround yourself with people you truly enjoy being in the company of

Personalities tend to be contagious, and not everyone’s is worth catching. Be judicious in your choices.

26. Manage your money

Financial concerns rank top on the list of what causes people stress. Take the time each month to do a budget, calculate what you actually spend and sanity check that against the money you have coming in.

27. Stop trying to control everything

Not only is your inner control freak sabotaging your sense of peace, it is also likely getting in the way of external relationships as well.

28. Practice affirmations

Repeat positive phrases that depict the life and qualities you want to attract. It may not come naturally to you, but it works.

29. Get up before sunrise

Personally witnessing the dawn brings a unique sense of awe and appreciation for life.

30. Be yourself

Nothing creates more inner discord than trying to be something other than who we really are. Authenticity breeds happiness.

Featured photo credit: man watching sunrise via stokpic.com

Read Next