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How the Right Partner Can Help Make You Successful

How the Right Partner Can Help Make You Successful

When your home life is stable, happy, and supportive, you are tremendously more effective at work. A stellar example is the marriage of Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck. Since their relationship began in 2004, they’ve enjoyed tremendous personal and career success. Ben has directed and played in several movies, and Jennifer has starred and played in many of her own. They’ve done all this while having and raising their three children. How are they so unstoppable? They clearly have a wonderful relationship. In every photo of them I’ve seen, they’re smiling and affectionate.

What’s at the core of their happy marriage?

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    1. They are both conscientious.

    They keep things organized in a way that’s respectful and effective. According to SheKnows.com, “Garner has her life together and acts as the head of the household in a way that merely keeps things organized, rather than emasculating her man.” This kind of conscientiousness is a huge factor in the kinds of relationships that set people up for success. According to Inc. Magazine, “Researchers at Washington University in St. Louis found that people with relatively prudent and reliable partners tend to perform better at work, earning more promotions, making more money, and feeling more satisfied with their jobs.”

    2. Jennifer and Ben appreciate each other as individuals, rather than trying fit any certain mold.

    They’ve found a working harmony in the household that not only leverages, but even celebrates, each others’ strengths. In an interview with E, Jennifer says, “For better or worse, I tend to be the one who says, ‘This is what needs to happen.’ I know who wants what lunch, and I’ve done all the school paperwork and filled out the emergency cards. Ben doesn’t even know that stuff exists. He is in charge of laughter. No matter how much I tickle them or toss them or chase them around, it’s not the same. If I’m the slow, steady drumbeat, he’s the jazz.” Jennifer doesn’t expect Ben to do exactly what she’s doing; that would be ineffective because they’d be stepping all over each other. Instead, she thrives in her own chosen role, and Ben shines in his. Together, they create a beautiful, loving environment for themselves, each other, and their children. In addition to being conscientious and appreciating each other’s unique strengths and dispositions, Ben and Jennifer have another strength:

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    3. They find solace in trusting and confiding in each other when the going gets tough.

    This trifecta creates a cocoon of harmony, which does wonders for each of their careers. For example, when Ben and Jennifer were first dating, he had a few ill-received films in a row, which got him a lot of negative public attention from critics and fans alike. He shares with US Weekly, “I sunk into a morass. My wife was definitely around then. Getting to know her, falling in love with her and being connected with her gave me a foundation to reach out and say, Okay, I’m going to do Hollywoodland; I’m going to direct Gone Baby Gone. Those were the steps forward I needed to put positive stuff on the board. She is by leaps and bounds the most important person to me in that respect. Over the past 10 years, she has allowed me to have a stable home life while accomplishing my professional goals.”

    So how do you choose the right partner who will help set you up for success?

    1. Choose someone who’s stable, conscientious, and has their life together.

    Jennifer and Ben are both stable people who know what they want and who they are. This kind of stability is a bedrock of support in a relationship. So many couples are chronically putting out fires that would have been completely avoided if they’d given proper attention toward the right things first. True stability comes from taking personal responsibility for one’s wellbeing and life.

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    2. Choose someone who appreciates uniqueness in his/herself and others.

    The best relationships are beacons of love and celebration. People are so fun and unique, and when we are celebrated that way inside a relationship, we are inspired to show up even more that way. Imagine if Jennifer was always nagging Ben about the kids’ school paperwork. He wouldn’t have the buoyancy and joy to “be the jazz” as she calls it, which doesn’t get the paperwork done but does add happiness and play to everyone in the family, including Jennifer. She’s happy to take care of the papers when he’s making everyone laugh.

    3. Choose someone who you feel comfortable with and can confide in and trust.

    When Ben was having a hard time in his career, he went to Jennifer for non-judgmental love and support, which she freely gave. When each partner in a relationship does this for the other, they become a united front and take on life’s challenges together. This is a huge advantage when it comes to building success, not only on a practical level but an emotionally soothing one as well. We are social creatures, and to have another creature at home who we’re partnering with, who we can trust and enjoy life with, helps us become successful with a special sense of ease.

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    Last Updated on February 11, 2021

    Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

    Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

    How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

    Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

    The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

    Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

    Perceptual Barrier

    The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

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    The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

    The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

    Attitudinal Barrier

    Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

    The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

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    The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

    Language Barrier

    This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

    The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

    The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

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    Emotional Barrier

    Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

    The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

    The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

    Cultural Barrier

    Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

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    The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

    The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

    Gender Barrier

    Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

    The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

    The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

    And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

    Reference

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