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How the Right Partner Can Help Make You Successful

How the Right Partner Can Help Make You Successful

When your home life is stable, happy, and supportive, you are tremendously more effective at work. A stellar example is the marriage of Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck. Since their relationship began in 2004, they’ve enjoyed tremendous personal and career success. Ben has directed and played in several movies, and Jennifer has starred and played in many of her own. They’ve done all this while having and raising their three children. How are they so unstoppable? They clearly have a wonderful relationship. In every photo of them I’ve seen, they’re smiling and affectionate.

What’s at the core of their happy marriage?

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    1. They are both conscientious.

    They keep things organized in a way that’s respectful and effective. According to SheKnows.com, “Garner has her life together and acts as the head of the household in a way that merely keeps things organized, rather than emasculating her man.” This kind of conscientiousness is a huge factor in the kinds of relationships that set people up for success. According to Inc. Magazine, “Researchers at Washington University in St. Louis found that people with relatively prudent and reliable partners tend to perform better at work, earning more promotions, making more money, and feeling more satisfied with their jobs.”

    2. Jennifer and Ben appreciate each other as individuals, rather than trying fit any certain mold.

    They’ve found a working harmony in the household that not only leverages, but even celebrates, each others’ strengths. In an interview with E, Jennifer says, “For better or worse, I tend to be the one who says, ‘This is what needs to happen.’ I know who wants what lunch, and I’ve done all the school paperwork and filled out the emergency cards. Ben doesn’t even know that stuff exists. He is in charge of laughter. No matter how much I tickle them or toss them or chase them around, it’s not the same. If I’m the slow, steady drumbeat, he’s the jazz.” Jennifer doesn’t expect Ben to do exactly what she’s doing; that would be ineffective because they’d be stepping all over each other. Instead, she thrives in her own chosen role, and Ben shines in his. Together, they create a beautiful, loving environment for themselves, each other, and their children. In addition to being conscientious and appreciating each other’s unique strengths and dispositions, Ben and Jennifer have another strength:

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    3. They find solace in trusting and confiding in each other when the going gets tough.

    This trifecta creates a cocoon of harmony, which does wonders for each of their careers. For example, when Ben and Jennifer were first dating, he had a few ill-received films in a row, which got him a lot of negative public attention from critics and fans alike. He shares with US Weekly, “I sunk into a morass. My wife was definitely around then. Getting to know her, falling in love with her and being connected with her gave me a foundation to reach out and say, Okay, I’m going to do Hollywoodland; I’m going to direct Gone Baby Gone. Those were the steps forward I needed to put positive stuff on the board. She is by leaps and bounds the most important person to me in that respect. Over the past 10 years, she has allowed me to have a stable home life while accomplishing my professional goals.”

    So how do you choose the right partner who will help set you up for success?

    1. Choose someone who’s stable, conscientious, and has their life together.

    Jennifer and Ben are both stable people who know what they want and who they are. This kind of stability is a bedrock of support in a relationship. So many couples are chronically putting out fires that would have been completely avoided if they’d given proper attention toward the right things first. True stability comes from taking personal responsibility for one’s wellbeing and life.

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    2. Choose someone who appreciates uniqueness in his/herself and others.

    The best relationships are beacons of love and celebration. People are so fun and unique, and when we are celebrated that way inside a relationship, we are inspired to show up even more that way. Imagine if Jennifer was always nagging Ben about the kids’ school paperwork. He wouldn’t have the buoyancy and joy to “be the jazz” as she calls it, which doesn’t get the paperwork done but does add happiness and play to everyone in the family, including Jennifer. She’s happy to take care of the papers when he’s making everyone laugh.

    3. Choose someone who you feel comfortable with and can confide in and trust.

    When Ben was having a hard time in his career, he went to Jennifer for non-judgmental love and support, which she freely gave. When each partner in a relationship does this for the other, they become a united front and take on life’s challenges together. This is a huge advantage when it comes to building success, not only on a practical level but an emotionally soothing one as well. We are social creatures, and to have another creature at home who we’re partnering with, who we can trust and enjoy life with, helps us become successful with a special sense of ease.

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    Last Updated on July 3, 2020

    30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

    30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

    In today’s world, true peace must come from within us and our own actions. Here are 30 small things you can do on a regular basis to increase your overall sense of harmony, peace, and well-being:

    1. Don’t go to every fight you’re invited to

    Particularly when you’re around those who thrive on chaos, be willing to decline the invitation to join in on the drama.

    2. Focus on your breath

    Throughout the day, stop to take a few deep breaths. Keep stress at bay with techniques such as “square breathing.” Breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, then out for four counts, and hold again for four counts. Repeat this cycle four times.

    3. Get organized and purge old items

    A cluttered space often creates a cluttered spirit. Take the time to get rid of anything you haven’t used in a year and invest in organizational systems that help you sustain a level of neatness.

    4. Stop yourself from being judgmental

    Whenever you are tempted to have an opinion about someone else’s life, check your intentions. Judging others creates and promotes negative energy.

    5. Say ‘thank you’ early and often

    Start and end each day with an attitude of gratitude. Look for opportunities in your daily routine and interactions to express appreciation.

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    6. Smile more

    Even if you have to “fake it until you make it,” there are many scientific benefits of smiling and laughing. Also, pay attention to your facial expression when you are doing neutral activities such as driving and walking. Turn that frown upside down!

    7. Don’t worry about the future

    As difficult as this sounds, there is a direct connection between staying in the present and living a more peaceful life. You cannot control the future. As the old proverb goes, “Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere.” Practice gently bringing your thoughts back to the present.

    8. Eat real food

    The closer the food is to the state from which it came from the earth, the better you will feel in eating it. Choose foods that grew from a plant over food that was made in a plant.

    9. Choose being happy over being right

    Too often, we sacrifice inner peace in order to make a point. It’s rarely worth it.

    10. Keep technology out of the bedroom

    Many studies, such as one conducted by Brigham and Women’s Hospital, have connected blue light of electronic devices before bed to adverse sleep and overall health. To make matters worse, many people report that they cannot resist checking email and social media when their cell phone is in reach of their bed, regardless of the time.

    11. Make use of filtering features on social media

    You may not want to “unfriend” someone completely, however you can choose whether you want to follow their posts and/or the sources of information that they share.

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    12. Get comfortable with silence

    When you picture someone who is the ultimate state of peace, typically they aren’t talking.

    13. Listen to understand, not to respond

    So often in conversations, we use our ears to give us cues about when it is our turn to say what we want to say. Practice active listening, ask questions, process, then speak.

    14. Put your troubles in a bubble

    Whenever you start to feel anxious, visualize the situation being wrapped in a bubble and then picture that sphere floating away.

    15. Speak more slowly

    Often a lack of peace manifests itself in fast or clipped speech. Take a breath, slow down, and let your thoughtful consideration drive your words.

    16. Don’t procrastinate

    Nothing adds stress to our lives like waiting until the last minute.

    17. Buy a coloring book

    Mandala coloring books for adults are becoming more popular because of their connection to creating inner peace.

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    18. Prioritize yourself

    You are the only person who you are guaranteed to live with 24 hours a day for the rest of your life.

    19. Forgive others

    Holding a grudge is hurting you exponentially more than anyone else. Let it go.

    20. Check your expectations

    Presumption often leads to drama. Remember the old saying, “Expectations are premeditated resentments.”

    21. Engage in active play

    Let your inner child come out and have some fun. Jump, dance, play, and pretend!

    22. Stop criticizing yourself

    The world is a hard enough place with more than enough critics. Your life is not served well by being one of them.

    23. Focus your energy and attention on what you want

    Thoughts, words, and actions all create energy. Energy attracts like energy. Put out what you want to get back.

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    24. Assign yourself “complaint free” days.

    Make a conscious decision not to complain about anything for a whole day. It might be harder than you think and the awareness will stick with you.

    25. Surround yourself with people you truly enjoy being in the company of

    Personalities tend to be contagious, and not everyone’s is worth catching. Be judicious in your choices.

    26. Manage your money

    Financial concerns rank top on the list of what causes people stress. Take the time each month to do a budget, calculate what you actually spend and sanity check that against the money you have coming in.

    27. Stop trying to control everything

    Not only is your inner control freak sabotaging your sense of peace, it is also likely getting in the way of external relationships as well.

    28. Practice affirmations

    Repeat positive phrases that depict the life and qualities you want to attract. It may not come naturally to you, but it works.

    29. Get up before sunrise

    Personally witnessing the dawn brings a unique sense of awe and appreciation for life.

    30. Be yourself

    Nothing creates more inner discord than trying to be something other than who we really are. Authenticity breeds happiness.

    Featured photo credit: man watching sunrise via stokpic.com

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