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How to Move Out of State, and Not Feel Like You’re Alone

How to Move Out of State, and Not Feel Like You’re Alone

Moving is a pain, but moving out of state is an entirely different battle. I made my first move my sophomore year of college. I lived in Minnesota all my life, and now after 20 years I was driving over 1,000 miles to Arizona. I then made another move within Arizona after college, only two hours away from where I went to school. Now, two years after graduating I am in yet another city. I now live in St. Louis, Missouri, and will be leaving again within the next 10 months. So, not only do I know a lot about moving, but I also know how absolutely alone it can make you feel. No matter how many times I move, it never gets easier. Moving away from the people you love (family or friends) is never easy. Here is how I continue to move without feeling like I am losing a something each time.

DO: Accept the fact that you are leaving, and probably for a long time

As soon as you can face the fact that you are leaving, the easier it will be for you to actually leave. Denial is an inevitable part of moving. You tell all your friends that you will keep in touch and talk to them just as much as you do now. The sooner you accept that this probably isn’t true, the quicker you will be able to cope with it. You won’t see these people again unless they visit you, or you are back for a visit yourself.

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DON’T: Get upset with people “back home”

In the age of social media it can be difficult not to notice your friends hanging out in all the places that you once frequented. This can make you feel like you are all alone in a new state that you know nothing about. Instead of feeling sad that you missed out, realize that there is a reason why you aren’t there. Bigger and better opportunities have brought you to a new place, and you should be happy about that.

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DO: Take time each week to catch up with a friend or family member

Doing this will make you feel instantly better. Make a point of setting aside an hour, one day a week to talk to someone from where you once lived. Try to make it a different person every week, and then rotate. When you move you will have to make new friends, and that can be stressful. Talking with someone you already know will relieve your stress, while keeping that relationship going.

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DON’T: Isolate yourself

A new city can be scary, but the answer is not to sit inside your house. Get out and meet new people! This can be intimidating if you aren’t an outgoing person, but it is extremely important to not feel alone in a new place. Hopefully you life in an area or apartment complex that has the same age range as you. Some apartment complexes have events for residents to do meet and greets. If you are lucky to live in a place like this, be sure to check them out. If you don’t live in a place that has events for residents, look in your local paper for events and festivals that the city is having. Make sure to go to them. You will meet new people, and get to explore your new city.

DO: Join Clubs/Groups/Activities

The fastest way to meet new people is to join a club or some sort. If you like basketball, join a local basketball team. Same goes for any other sport. If you love to write, go and join your local writers group. I can promise you that your new city has an activity that you can participate in. The best part about meeting people in these groups is that you already have something in common. The best relationships can stem from joining one of these groups.

Moving to a new city is always challenging. Don’t get down, follow the do’s and don’ts and you will make it!

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Last Updated on April 8, 2020

11 Things Overachievers Do Differently

11 Things Overachievers Do Differently

We all know some overachievers: supermoms who manage to get online degrees between cleaning, cooking, and taking kids to practice; students who write 10-page papers when the directions call for 4; managers whose resumes look more like pages from the Guinness book of Records.

How do they do it all? How is it possible that one person can graduate at the top of their class, found an orphanage in India, run 30k marathons, write a best-selling book, travel all over the world and learn to speak Mandarin Chinese while having a full-time job?

What’s the secret of an overachiever? Here’re 11 things overachievers do differently that you can learn from.

1. They Know How to Manage Their Time

It’s pretty simple actually – you can never become an overachiever if you don’t know how to organize your time efficiently.

The great thing is that overachievers are ready to share their knowledge and time management talent with the rest of the world. Read The 4-Hour Workweek or The 4-Hour Body by Timothy Ferriss, and you’ll know what I’m talking about.

2. They Don’t Spend Hours Watching TV or Playing Computer Games

Mostly because they have better things to do, like exercising, reading, spending an evening with their family or volunteering to work in the local soup kitchen. Their philosophy is simple – the world is full of wonderful things to try, explore and experience. Watching TV is not one of them.

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3. They Are Obsessed With Perfection

Imagine Steve Jobs’ work approach and you’ll understand the level of perfection and painfully high standards that overachievers set for themselves and those around them. Often it pays off (especially if they focus on just one domain). But sometimes compulsive over-striving turns into a sure-fire road to disappointments and unfinished tasks.

Learn how to strike a balance: How Not to Let Perfectionism Secretly Screw You Up

4. They Know How To Inspire

Overachievers learn quickly that it is much easier to achieve goals through collaboration (and especially delegation). So they know how to inspire, encourage, persuade and motivate people around them. Even though they often drive their team crazy with their stubbornness and perfectionism, people quickly follow under the spell of their enthusiasm and greater vision.

Learn these 10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively.

5. They Set Clear Goals

The term “overachiever” itself implies that they know how to achieve goals. That is kind of hard to do if your goals are vague, unclear and lack specific deadline, which is why overachievers educate themselves, read goal-setting books, and think about the best way to approach a new task.

Although, it’s worth mentioning that overachievers usually use their time management and goal-setting skills towards competitive, “I want to kick butt” type of goals rather than self-improvement, mastery goals.

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Take a look at these tips to help you set clearer goals: What Are SMART Goals (And How to Use Them to Become Successful)

6. They Are Organized

It’s hard to imagine a disorganized overachiever, isn’t it? Their great organizational and planning skills usually serve three main purposes: keeping track of time, keeping track of progress and keeping track of achievements.

This hasn’t been confirmed by scientific research yet, but overachievers might actually get a “runner’s high” from crossing tasks off their to-do lists, and making new to-do lists.

Here’s How to Organize Your Life: 10 Habits of Really Organized People

7. They Try to Avoid Failure at All Costs

Some psychologists believe that overachievers place their self-worth on their competence, driven by an underlying fear of failure. Rather than setting and striving for goals based on a pure desire to achieve, their core motivation becomes avoiding failure. This may explain the fact that overachiever beat themselves up for even little setbacks and seemingly-insignificant mistakes.

But be aware that having a strong fear of failure can wrek havoc your productivity. So the best thing to do? Learn to conquer the fear: Why You Have the Fear of Failure (And How to Conquer It)

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8. They Love Awards

Who doesn’t love them, right? True enough, but unlike most people who like to feel acknowledged and appreciated for their efforts, overachievers are bent on collecting ‘awards’, be it university degrees, spelling bee prizes or unusual destinations.

While loving awares isn’t bad, it’s even better if you’re driven by internal motivation instead of external ones which could be quite uncontrolable or unstable: Why Is Internal Motivation So Powerful (And How to Find It).

9. They Don’t Understand the Concept of Work Hours

Don’t get surprised if you receive a work-related email anywhere between 8 p.m. and midnight. It’s something overachievers usually do and you weren’t the only one. At least 20 more emails have been sent during these hours to other people. The concepts of over-achieving and working overtime usually go hand in hand.

The downside of this is an imbalnced life, which may need to problems in other aspects of life including health and relationships. A better way is to Achieve a Realistic Work Life Balance.

10. They Rest

Overachievers might often be labeled as “workaholics”, because they often ignore bodily signs of hunger, fatigue and even a full bladder, hoping to finish just one last little part. This doesn’t mean that overachievers don’t know how to disconnect and relax.

True that they tend to work in the highest gear, but they also have enough sense to give themselves time to rest and recharge. Of course, they do it in their own overachieving way, preferring climbing Mount Kilimanjaro or hiking through the Amazon jungle to lazing on the beach.

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11. Overachievers Continuously Educate Themselves

A great quality that most overachievers have is the hunger for knowledge. They surround themselves with bright people. They know how to listen, and most importantly, they get tons of mentoring.

Despite the fact that overachievers want to excel at everything they set their minds on, they are humble enough to admit that to get on top of their game, they need help. And they are willing to pay someone to push, coach and guide them.

You too can learn How to Create a Habit of Continuous Learning for a Better You.

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Featured photo credit: Nghia Le via unsplash.com

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