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How To Maintain a Connected Relationship

How To Maintain a Connected Relationship

Maintaining a healthy, long-term relationship takes quite a bit of work. Contrary to popular belief, the process of getting to know one another and dating doesn’t end as the years progress. It takes work to maintain a connected relationship. In fact, the longer a relationship lasts, the more important it becomes to put work into staying connected. As the exhilaration of a new relationship wears off and routine sets in, extra effort is required. Here are a few ideas to help you foster that connection in relationships:

Listen actively

Make sure you are really paying attention to what your partner is trying to tell you. Even if you have no interest in fantasy football stats or spring hairdo woes, actively listening will make your partner feel like you care. If you listen and engage, your partner knows he or she is important to you.

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Break down barriers

You will learn new things about your partner for the duration of your relationship. Childhood memories will arise, traumas will unfold, and a shoulder to lean on will be needed. The key to being available for these situations is to stay vulnerable. To stay connected, make sure your partner knows it’s okay to show vulnerability. Continue to break down the barriers between you and your partner, and you will have a steadfast connection.

Set aside your to-do list

The list can wait. We are often so busy that we forget about the person that’s been supporting us all along. Drop your agenda or, better yet, put your relationship at the top of your agenda and leave it there. Set aside time for your partner, and keep your relationship a priority.

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Show affection

At home, in public, or wherever. Physical affection is one of the easiest ways to stay connected, and it doesn’t have to be over the top. Hold hands on your stroll from the grocery store to the car. Give his shoulders a gentle squeeze while he makes dinner. Simple gestures like these go a long way.

Check in with each other

Sometimes we are so busy that we inadvertently neglect our relationships. It’s important to check in with each other every so often. Ask your partner what he or she needs from you. Does she need your support? Does he need you to spend some more time with him? Sometimes, you don’t know until you ask.

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Date each other

Set up weekly dates, just like you did in the beginning. Go to the restaurant where you had your first date and sit at the same table. Recreate some of your favorite dates, or explore new places together. When you set up dates with each other, you have the chance to back away from the day-to-day grind and really spend time connecting with each other.

Consider his or her feelings

Sometimes we make decisions without considering how it will affect our partners. You might say yes to a night out with friends before asking if she wants to make plans together. Sometimes you might decide to make a large purchase without first consulting with your partner. No, you don’t need to ask your partner for permission for your every move, but do consider him when making decisions that could affect him.

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Be supportive of each other

Has your partner decided to eat healthy, or has he or she started a new job? Make sure he knows that he has your support. Maybe you don’t want to go on a clean-eating diet, but if your partner does, encourage him. Try not to tempt him with foods he shouldn’t eat, or diminish what he is doing for himself.

Practice acceptance

Acceptance is one of the keys to maintaining a connected relationship. We cannot change other people, and we cannot control them. If you have the ability to accept your significant other the way he or she is, you are bound for more happiness and less argument.

Stop having to have the last word

Speaking of arguments, it isn’t always necessary to have the last word. A fight can end as quickly as it begins if you choose to let go of being right. You can cultivate understanding and happiness in a relationship if you give up the need to have the last word, even if you think you’re right.

Featured photo credit: Holding Hands/Tim Parkinson via flickr.com

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Last Updated on September 12, 2019

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel lost in life and isolated from everyone else.

While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:

What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?

Here are 12 things to remember:

1. Recognize That It’s Okay!

The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.

However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.

We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.

Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

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2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide

You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.

Remember, there is more to life than what you’re feeling.

3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.

5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

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Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that  you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.

8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

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Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

10. Journal During This Time

Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

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Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

Final Thoughts

Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.

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Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

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