Advertising
Advertising

How To Maintain a Connected Relationship

How To Maintain a Connected Relationship

Maintaining a healthy, long-term relationship takes quite a bit of work. Contrary to popular belief, the process of getting to know one another and dating doesn’t end as the years progress. It takes work to maintain a connected relationship. In fact, the longer a relationship lasts, the more important it becomes to put work into staying connected. As the exhilaration of a new relationship wears off and routine sets in, extra effort is required. Here are a few ideas to help you foster that connection in relationships:

Listen actively

Make sure you are really paying attention to what your partner is trying to tell you. Even if you have no interest in fantasy football stats or spring hairdo woes, actively listening will make your partner feel like you care. If you listen and engage, your partner knows he or she is important to you.

Advertising

Break down barriers

You will learn new things about your partner for the duration of your relationship. Childhood memories will arise, traumas will unfold, and a shoulder to lean on will be needed. The key to being available for these situations is to stay vulnerable. To stay connected, make sure your partner knows it’s okay to show vulnerability. Continue to break down the barriers between you and your partner, and you will have a steadfast connection.

Set aside your to-do list

The list can wait. We are often so busy that we forget about the person that’s been supporting us all along. Drop your agenda or, better yet, put your relationship at the top of your agenda and leave it there. Set aside time for your partner, and keep your relationship a priority.

Advertising

Show affection

At home, in public, or wherever. Physical affection is one of the easiest ways to stay connected, and it doesn’t have to be over the top. Hold hands on your stroll from the grocery store to the car. Give his shoulders a gentle squeeze while he makes dinner. Simple gestures like these go a long way.

Check in with each other

Sometimes we are so busy that we inadvertently neglect our relationships. It’s important to check in with each other every so often. Ask your partner what he or she needs from you. Does she need your support? Does he need you to spend some more time with him? Sometimes, you don’t know until you ask.

Advertising

Date each other

Set up weekly dates, just like you did in the beginning. Go to the restaurant where you had your first date and sit at the same table. Recreate some of your favorite dates, or explore new places together. When you set up dates with each other, you have the chance to back away from the day-to-day grind and really spend time connecting with each other.

Consider his or her feelings

Sometimes we make decisions without considering how it will affect our partners. You might say yes to a night out with friends before asking if she wants to make plans together. Sometimes you might decide to make a large purchase without first consulting with your partner. No, you don’t need to ask your partner for permission for your every move, but do consider him when making decisions that could affect him.

Advertising

Be supportive of each other

Has your partner decided to eat healthy, or has he or she started a new job? Make sure he knows that he has your support. Maybe you don’t want to go on a clean-eating diet, but if your partner does, encourage him. Try not to tempt him with foods he shouldn’t eat, or diminish what he is doing for himself.

Practice acceptance

Acceptance is one of the keys to maintaining a connected relationship. We cannot change other people, and we cannot control them. If you have the ability to accept your significant other the way he or she is, you are bound for more happiness and less argument.

Stop having to have the last word

Speaking of arguments, it isn’t always necessary to have the last word. A fight can end as quickly as it begins if you choose to let go of being right. You can cultivate understanding and happiness in a relationship if you give up the need to have the last word, even if you think you’re right.

Featured photo credit: Holding Hands/Tim Parkinson via flickr.com

More by this author

11 Common Grammar Mistakes You’re Probably Making Before You Let Someone Enter Your Life, You Should Have These 15 Things First 12 Lessons Emma Watson Has Taught Me About Success 15 Fun Ways To Save Money (Instead Of Using Piggy Banks) 35 Reasons Why Sisters Are the Best Friends

Trending in Communication

1 How to Live up to Your Full Potential and Succeed in Life 2 Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset 3 10 Strategies to Keep Moving Forward When You’re Feeling Extra Stuck 4 Learn the Different Types of Love (and Better Understand Your Partner) 5 Anxiety Coping Mechanisms That Work When You’re Stressed to the Max

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

Advertising

The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

Advertising

How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

Advertising

There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

Advertising

When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

Read Next