Advertising
Advertising

Everyone Makes Mistakes, This Is How You Can Love and Forgive Yourself

Everyone Makes Mistakes, This Is How You Can Love and Forgive Yourself

It’s undeniable–we all make mistakes. It’s in our nature as humans to fail, whether it’s in our work environment, our family life, or our relationships. We are all doomed to disappoint ourselves at some point, but that doesn’t mean we have to succumb to self-deprecation. Living with a mistake is difficult, and learning to forgive yourself afterwards is even harder, I know. However, if you continue to let your messes define instead of better you, then you’ll only be making your life more troublesome than it would be otherwise. Instead of sobbing into a carton of Ben & Jerry’s and hoping the spoonfuls of milky sugar will somehow take the pain of the past away, follow these guaranteed steps toward self-forgiveness and you’ll be on the right road to recovery in no time. Who knows, you might just find the motivation to close the ice cream lid in here too.

1. Reflect on why you did what you did.

There’s always a reason behind any conscious wrongdoing. Always. Often we get so caught up in our emotions following the incident that we forget to acknowledge the causes leading up to it. If you hit another car while driving, think about what you were doing in the moments before the accident. Were you flipping through radio stations? Were you checking your phone? If not, chances are something else distracted you or blocked your line of vision. Take time to really think about these things and write them down on a piece of paper. It helps to identify the small details before you start looking at the big picture again.

Advertising

2. Spend some quality time with yourself.

untitled

    The one thing I’ve found that continuously helps me cope with anything I’m experiencing is taking time to truly be alone, especially when I’m in the self-hatred phase. However, this doesn’t mean sit on your couch and binge-watch TV shows on Netflix. This means get out, go somewhere, and do something with yourself. Call it a “me date” if you must. I find taking runs or walks alone to be the best type of non-prescription medicine, but not everyone finds their therapy in nature. As long as you go spend time alone doing something you love, you can’t go wrong from there.

    Advertising

    3. Talk to someone who has gone through something similar.

    Don’t get me wrong, spending time alone is great. But it’s not the only thing you should do to deal with your troubles. You need to talk to someone who understands what you’re going through, or find a forum online discussing a related issue to yours. You can even go to a counselor! I promise you, it’s not going to help to keep your feelings to yourself. People are always there to lend you good advice. You just need to seek it out.

    4. Be honest with yourself and those you may have hurt.

    Advertising

    image

      The most difficult task, besides self-forgiveness, is often the act of admitting the mistake. It’s so easy to come up with excuses or find ways to skirt around the subject. However, at the end of the day, honesty is the best policy and the one that will ultimately set you free. So be open with yourself and the people you may have pained along the way. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable even if it means the very worst. This goes back to the biblical saying, “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.” If someone wronged you, you’d want to know so why shouldn’t the same apply the other way around? Think about it. Karmic retribution is a thing.

      5. Have some good ol’ fashioned fun.

      So you’re feeling pretty down and probably guilty. You feel as though it’s only just that you take time to mope about the problem at hand, but the question is for how long? Yes, everyone is allowed to feel the way they’re feeling and act accordingly to their emotions. However, you can’t beat yourself up forever. At some point, you have to tell yourself that what’s past is past and nothing you do right now is going to change that. Instead of continuously reflecting on what could have been done to prevent the mistake, give yourself a break and go have some fun. Go to the movies, hang out with friends, take that exercise class you’ve been dying to try, and for a moment, focus on the present. After all, life is short. Why spend it unhappy?

      Advertising

      6. Seek self-improvement.

      200206163-001

        The last and final step of the self-forgiveness process comes as a no-brainer, but one we all need to remind ourselves of. When we do something that conflicts with our values or ideals, we get so wrapped up in the temporary nuisance of it all that we forget to see the light at the end of the tunnel so to speak–that light being the result of our reparation. The only way to truly learn to forgive ourselves for mistakes we’ve made is to make amends as necessary. Take your faults as opportunities to seek betterment and work on them from there. It’s not easy, and no one ever said it would be, but learning from failure is what makes us all healthier and happier people in the end. I guarantee that if you start to see your mistakes for the positive change they inspire, you’re bound to find success later on.

        Featured photo credit: Forgive./Tony Webster via flic.kr

        More by this author

        You Should Never Say These Six Things If You Want To Be Successful At Work The Power And Pitfalls Of Complete Vulnerability 5 Ways to Prepare for Success During Your Senior Year Of College 20 Things Only Children Understand Everyone Makes Mistakes, This Is How You Can Love and Forgive Yourself

        Trending in Communication

        1 How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them 2 Feeling Stuck in Life? How to Never Get Stuck Again 3 12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life 4 13 Ways Happy People Think and Feel Differently 5 How to Find Inner Peace and Lasting Happiness

        Read Next

        Advertising
        Advertising
        Advertising

        Last Updated on January 21, 2020

        How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

        How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

        If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

        Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

        So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

        Advertising

        1. Listen

        Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

        2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

        Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

        “Why do you want to do that?”

        Advertising

        “What makes you so excited about it?”

        “How long has that been your dream?”

        You need this information the help you with the following steps.

        Advertising

        3. Encourage

        This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

        4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

        After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

        5. Dream

        This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

        Advertising

        6. Ask How You Can Help

        Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

        7. Follow Up

        Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

        Final Thoughts

        By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

        Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

        More on Motivation

        Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

        Read Next