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If You’re Looking for The Formula for Happiness, Read This.

If You’re Looking for The Formula for Happiness, Read This.

Happiness is a choice.

At each moment of the day, you make a decision, whether you realize it or not. It’s the result of your attitude towards life. And whatever it is—positive or negative—it affects all the events, people, relationships, and basically whatever it is that you encounter in your life.

So, if you’re living a complicated life with so many things to do and no time for yourself, it’s your fault.
If you have exactly what you’ve wanted and are thankful for it every day, you’re the one to blame.
If you’re surrounded by negative people, have a job you hate and can’t even sleep at night because of the many thoughts that pop up in your head constantly, no one else is responsible for that but you.
If you’re doing what you love, work hard but still find time for yourself and those you love, it’s due to a choice you’ve made at some point.

But there’s good news. Whatever your situation is, you can change it.

Happiness is absolutely possible at any time, it’s free, doesn’t depend on age, looks, career or income. Everyone deserves it and it doesn’t need to be found, reached, created, or anything else that requires effort.

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Here is the happiness formula:

Letting Go + Acceptance + Gratitude

Call them skills, processes, qualities, goals, or else. They don’t really need to be defined. But these are three of the best things you can do with your life—let go of what was and will be, accept what is and be okay with it, thank for it and appreciate it.

That will make you the happy, contented person you’ve always wanted to become. You’ll find peace, will free yourself from the burden of the past and anxiety of the future, will start living in the present moment and will see all the beauty and abundance in your life by focusing on what you have and being grateful for it.

Now let’s discuss each element of the happiness formula separately.

Letting Go

It is pure magic as it makes us feel so free and contented that we realize we’ve never lived before.

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The problem is that we hold onto so many things—all our past relationships, painful memories, material objects that remind us of something, etc. We also spend a great deal of time thinking about the future, fearing what might go wrong, trying to change it by taking control and planning. And when things turn out differently, we’re disappointed and devastated. All this makes us weak, sad and desperate.

We carry so much excess stuff in our head that we can’t move on. And thus can’t enjoy life and be happy.

But if we let go and let things be just the way they are, we will be free, peaceful and will be able to experience the present moment without comparing it to a previous one, without expecting it to turn out in a particular way, without overthinking and worrying about the next one.

That’s how we should live in order to be happy—experiencing something, feeling it with our whole being, appreciating and enjoying it, and then immediately letting it go so that we can let in the next one.

Acceptance

To accept is to be okay with things, people, events and yourself. It doesn’t mean you give up on trying to achieve what you’ve wanted; it means that you trust the natural flow and don’t interfere.

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It shows that you’re in peace and aren’t obsessed with control and change. It allows you to go through life and be at ease, to have joy and satisfaction.

You need to realize that whatever happens right now is the best for that exact moment. Then, something else will happen. And you’ll be okay with it because that’s how things should be. You need to trust and believe.

Only then will you be free from anxiety, the need to always do something, the discontent and stress.

Gratitude

That’s another thing that can make you the happiest person.

Focus on the good things in your life, be positive about what’s to come, be thankful for what you have (even the bad stuff as it’s lessons and experience) every single day, appreciate it, show you care, express your gratitude and love.

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Then you’ll start seeing all the abundance you live in. Things will become even more beautiful and precious for you. You’ll see the people you love as priceless gifts and will feel so blessed.

All that is simple and easy. It will show you the other side of life—the magnificent one. That will let you live the life you’ve been dreaming about without changing anything in your environment.

That’s how you choose to be happy.

Featured photo credit: Jumping for Joy, by Karen Corby via flickr.com

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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