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If You’re Looking for The Formula for Happiness, Read This.

If You’re Looking for The Formula for Happiness, Read This.

Happiness is a choice.

At each moment of the day, you make a decision, whether you realize it or not. It’s the result of your attitude towards life. And whatever it is—positive or negative—it affects all the events, people, relationships, and basically whatever it is that you encounter in your life.

So, if you’re living a complicated life with so many things to do and no time for yourself, it’s your fault.
If you have exactly what you’ve wanted and are thankful for it every day, you’re the one to blame.
If you’re surrounded by negative people, have a job you hate and can’t even sleep at night because of the many thoughts that pop up in your head constantly, no one else is responsible for that but you.
If you’re doing what you love, work hard but still find time for yourself and those you love, it’s due to a choice you’ve made at some point.

But there’s good news. Whatever your situation is, you can change it.

Happiness is absolutely possible at any time, it’s free, doesn’t depend on age, looks, career or income. Everyone deserves it and it doesn’t need to be found, reached, created, or anything else that requires effort.

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Here is the happiness formula:

Letting Go + Acceptance + Gratitude

Call them skills, processes, qualities, goals, or else. They don’t really need to be defined. But these are three of the best things you can do with your life—let go of what was and will be, accept what is and be okay with it, thank for it and appreciate it.

That will make you the happy, contented person you’ve always wanted to become. You’ll find peace, will free yourself from the burden of the past and anxiety of the future, will start living in the present moment and will see all the beauty and abundance in your life by focusing on what you have and being grateful for it.

Now let’s discuss each element of the happiness formula separately.

Letting Go

It is pure magic as it makes us feel so free and contented that we realize we’ve never lived before.

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The problem is that we hold onto so many things—all our past relationships, painful memories, material objects that remind us of something, etc. We also spend a great deal of time thinking about the future, fearing what might go wrong, trying to change it by taking control and planning. And when things turn out differently, we’re disappointed and devastated. All this makes us weak, sad and desperate.

We carry so much excess stuff in our head that we can’t move on. And thus can’t enjoy life and be happy.

But if we let go and let things be just the way they are, we will be free, peaceful and will be able to experience the present moment without comparing it to a previous one, without expecting it to turn out in a particular way, without overthinking and worrying about the next one.

That’s how we should live in order to be happy—experiencing something, feeling it with our whole being, appreciating and enjoying it, and then immediately letting it go so that we can let in the next one.

Acceptance

To accept is to be okay with things, people, events and yourself. It doesn’t mean you give up on trying to achieve what you’ve wanted; it means that you trust the natural flow and don’t interfere.

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It shows that you’re in peace and aren’t obsessed with control and change. It allows you to go through life and be at ease, to have joy and satisfaction.

You need to realize that whatever happens right now is the best for that exact moment. Then, something else will happen. And you’ll be okay with it because that’s how things should be. You need to trust and believe.

Only then will you be free from anxiety, the need to always do something, the discontent and stress.

Gratitude

That’s another thing that can make you the happiest person.

Focus on the good things in your life, be positive about what’s to come, be thankful for what you have (even the bad stuff as it’s lessons and experience) every single day, appreciate it, show you care, express your gratitude and love.

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Then you’ll start seeing all the abundance you live in. Things will become even more beautiful and precious for you. You’ll see the people you love as priceless gifts and will feel so blessed.

All that is simple and easy. It will show you the other side of life—the magnificent one. That will let you live the life you’ve been dreaming about without changing anything in your environment.

That’s how you choose to be happy.

Featured photo credit: Jumping for Joy, by Karen Corby via flickr.com

More by this author

Lidiya K

Lidiya is the founder of Let's Reach Success, a blog on personal, spiritual and business growth.

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Last Updated on March 5, 2021

Science Says People Who Talk To Themselves Are Geniuses

Science Says People Who Talk To Themselves Are Geniuses

I talk a lot to myself. It helps me to keep my concentration on the activity on hand, makes me focus more on my studies, and gives me some pretty brilliant ideas while chattering to myself; more importantly, I produce better works. For example, right now, as I am typing, I am constantly mumbling to myself. Do you talk to yourself? Don’t get embarrassed admitting it because science has discovered that those who talk to themselves are actually geniuses… and not crazy!

Research Background

Psychologist-researcher Gary Lupyan conducted an experiment where 20 volunteers were shown objects, in a supermarket, and were asked to remember them. Half of them were told to repeat the objects, for example, banana, and the other half remained silent. In the end, the result shown that self-directed speech aided people to find the objects faster, by 50 to 100 milliseconds, compared to the silent ones.

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“I’ll often mutter to myself when searching for something in the refrigerator or the supermarket shelves,” said Gary Lupyan.

This personal experience actually made him conduct this experiment. Lupyan, together with another psychologist, Daniel Swigley, came up with the outcomes that those to talk to oneself are geniuses. Here are the reasons:

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It stimulates your memory

When you are talking to yourself, your sensory mechanism gets activated. It gets easier on your memory since you can visualize the word, and you can act accordingly.[1]

It helps stay focused

When you are saying it loud, you stay focused on your task,[2] and it helps you recognise that stuff immediately. Of course, this only helps if you know what the object you are searching looks like. For example, a banana is yellow in colour, and you know how a banana looks like. So when you are saying it loud, your brain immediately pictures the image on your mind. But if you don’t know what banana looks like, then there is no effect of saying it loud.

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It helps you clarify your thoughts

Every one of us tends to have various types of thoughts. Most make sense, while the others don’t. Suppose you are furious at someone and you feel like killing that person. Now for this issue you won’t run to a therapist, will you? No, what you do is lock yourself in a room and mutter to yourself. You are letting go off the anger by talking to yourself, the pros and cons of killing that person, and eventually you calm down. This is a silly thought that you have and are unable to share it with any other person. Psychologist Linda Sapadin said,[3]

“It helps you clarify your thoughts, tend to what’s important and firm up any decisions you are contemplating.”

Featured photo credit: Girl Using Laptop In Hotel Room/Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

Reference

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