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Here are the 7 Things You are Not Doing that Make You Feel Miserable and Unfulfilled

Here are the 7 Things You are Not Doing that Make You Feel Miserable and Unfulfilled

We do a lot of things to be happier and more fulfilled. We try climbing the corporate ladder or building businesses here and there. We go to new places and have more adventures. But, no matter what we do or how much we accomplish, we still feel miserable and unfulfilled. Being happier and more fulfilled is not just about doing more. It’s about doing more of the right things. Here are the 7 things you probably are not doing that are making you feel miserable and unfulfilled:

1. You Are Not Discovering Your Purpose

The happiest and most fulfilled people are those who wake up knowing what they will do each day. They don’t feel stuck in the wrong job and don’t think about what ifs because they already found what they love to do. They know the one thing that they’re good at, that excites them, and that gives them purpose each day, regardless of the pay check. They know the one thing that only they can give to the world.

If you’re still feeling miserable and stuck in your job or in what you do, you probably haven’t tried enough, explored enough, and failed enough to find your one thing. The good news is it’s never too late to try new things, to meet new people, to take more chances, and to do more things that excite you until you find it. But, try new things with a purpose of finding your one thing. Finally, don’t be afraid to start all over again, make mistakes, and look silly just to find it.

2. You Are Not Realizing Your Potential

Knowing your purpose is one thing. Acting on it is another. No matter how grand finding your purpose seems, actually pursuing it is not always a bed of roses. There will still be days when you don’t feel like working, get discouraged by your results or the lack thereof, and doubt or regret pursuing your passion. That’s why many people give up on their purposes. Sadly, their potential remains just that – potential.

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In order to become the great person you know you are meant to be, have the courage to follow your dreams, the discipline to stay the course, and the persistence to weather the storms that come your way. Don’t go to the grave with your greatness still in you and without ever realizing your potential. Unfulfilled potential is one of the most miserable things in this world.

3. You Are Not Receiving Love

Many people feel miserable because they seek love and approval from other people. They wait for Mr. or Ms. Right to come into their lives. They struggle to move on from a lover who left them. They seek affirmation from bosses, colleagues, and other people. They even wait for Facebook friends to “like” their posts. They search constantly for love in the wrong places that they do not receive the love already around them.

If you feel miserable because the person you love doesn’t love you back no matter what you do, remember that there are people who already love you like your family and friends. Open yourself and receive the love that’s already available to you and you’ll realize how blessed you truly are. There are people who love you more than you know and they love you unconditionally. You just have to look in the right places.

4. You Are Not Giving Love

Unlike most of us, athletes and celebrities have no problem receiving love from other people. But, many of them fall into depression and addiction. Even at the height of their careers, many athletes and celebrities become miserable. Why? Because like balloons receiving air, they receive so much love that they just burst. People are not designed to just receive love but also to give love. People have a deep need to matter and to make a difference.

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If you are receiving so much love from your family, your friends, or even your significant other but still feel miserable, maybe it’s time to share that love with other people. Volunteer. Join a meaningful cause. Join a community near you. Love your bosses or colleagues without expecting anything in return. Love is not meant to be kept to yourself. It’s meant to be shared with the world.

5. You Are Not Taking Responsibility

We used to depend on our parents for major decisions in our lives like what school to enroll in or what course to take. Then, we depended on the education system to tell us what what we should learn. Now, we depend on social media to define what success is. Heck, we even depend on our bosses to give us direction for our lives. Then, we ask why we feel miserable and blame it on other people, including the president! But the reality is, they did not take control of our lives. We gave them the control.

Happy and fulfilled people take back that control from other people.They take back responsibility for their lives. They make their own choices and their own decisions. They take action and they live the lives they want, not what others want them to live. If you want to be happier and more fulfilled, know where you want to be. Don’t allow anyone or anything to stop you from pursuing your purpose. Set your own path and define your own success. Do not pattern your life after other people’s lives. Only you can live your life for yourself.

6. You Are Not Letting Go Of Limiting Beliefs And Self-Imposed Responsibilities

Most of the time, it’s not other people who are preventing you from achieving the greatness inside of you. Most of the time, it is you who prevents yourself with your self-doubt, discouraging self-talk, and self-imposed responsibilities.

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Let go of your limiting beliefs. Things may not be as easy as they seem to be. But, they are not as hard as you think are. You will most likely succeed at what you try. Only if you try.

Also, let go of your self-imposed responsibilities. The world does have so many problems. But, it’s not up to you to solve each and every one of them. Just do what you can to make a difference today. Take life less seriously and you’ll be surprised at how happy you can become. Life’s more fun than you think it is.

7. You Are Not Staying In The Present Moment

Many people are miserable because they are too caught up in the past or are living too far ahead in the future. They are stuck in their past hurts or past glory, worry too much about things that will probably not happen, or are too focused on future success that they cannot enjoy what they already have.

You may not yet be where you want to be, but the present moment is really all you have to enjoy now. Yesterday already had its moment and you have tomorrow to enjoy, well, tomorrow. The only way you can live a happy and fulfilled life is to live it to the fullest one day at a time. Do what you can for today, love the people already around you, appreciate who you have become, and just experience every minute of today. If you feel great today, there’s no reason you can’t feel the same again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day. Before you know it, you already lived a great life.

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Make A Plan And Put It On Paper

Knowing is half the battle. Actually doing it is the other half. If you’re serious about living a happier and more fulfilled life, make a plan and put it on paper. Make a plan to discover your purpose, to work on it, to receive the love available to you, to give love, to take responsibility, to let go of limiting beliefs, and to stay in the present moment. Put it on paper and then execute your plan.

Featured photo credit: Todd Quackenbush via unsplash.imgix.net

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Last Updated on October 22, 2020

11 Tips for Maintaining a Positive Attitude Every Day

11 Tips for Maintaining a Positive Attitude Every Day

Maintaining a positive attitude is critical when you want to achieve anything or simply improve the quality of your life. Most success literature will talk about the power of positive thinking and how important it is, but it’s often easier said than done.

In this article, you’ll find 11 tips for maintaining your positive attitude no matter what’s going on in your life.

1. You Determine Your Reality

It’s important to realize that you determine your reality by the way you react to the outside world. When something happens, you get to choose whether it’s a positive or negative situation and react accordingly.

For example, if you lose your job, your first reaction will likely be one of anger, frustration, and hopelessness. However, what if you were able to turn those emotions around and look at that experience as an opportunity.

You now have the chance to find a job where you will be able to learn new skills and perhaps even be happier. And in the meantime, you have some free time to analyze what direction you want the next stage of your life to go in.

2. Start Your Day Strong

Most people have to drag themselves out of bed, and this sets a negative state of mind for their entire day. Positive people create a long-term morning ritual that reinforces how great life is and how happy they are to be alive.

I used to wake up and immediately turn on Bon Jovi’s “It’s My Life to get me into a positive mood. Now I start my day by reading or listening to something positive. Whether you have 1 minute, 15 minutes, or an hour to dedicate to your ritual, you can start the day in a way that helps you feel relaxed and ready for the day ahead.

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Cultivate a positive attitude with a great morning routine.

    3. Exercise Is the Natural Feel-Good Drug

    Exercise is a great way to maintain a good attitude because of all the positive chemicals it releases into the bloodstream.

    One study found that between groups who participated in high-intensity interval training, moderate continuous training, and no exercise, those in the second group experienced the greatest drop in depressive symptoms and stress[1]. Therefore, if you’re looking to exercise to help you feel good, get your heart rate up, but don’t push too hard or you may increase overall stress.

    Also, remember that exercise can include many activities. If you don’t like running, try dancing or kickboxing instead. Put on some upbeat music to kick up the positive vibes even more.

    4. Use Books, Audio and Videos to Overload Your Brain with Positivity

    There are millions of amazing books, podcasts, and videos for you to absorb from people who are inspiring and living the life of their dreams. Tap into their positive emotions and their experience by learning how they think and what they do to create the lives they want.

    You can do this in the morning or while exercising, eating, commuting, cooking, cleaning… there’s always time for positivity.

    5. Your Language Shapes Your Thoughts

    Little changes in your language can change the way you think and how you act. Whenever someone greets you and asks how you’re doing, do you answer with “fine” or “not too bad”? Think about just what this language is communicating to others… and yourself.

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    I always answer with “great,” “fantastic,” or “amazing.” Not only does this remind me that life really is great, but it usually helps the other person shift toward a positive attitude as well.

    Also, take some time to look at the way your inner voice talks to you. Is that language positive or negative? If it’s overly critical or negative, it may be time to tap into some mindfulness meditation in order to shift your inner critic to an inner cheerleader.

    6. Hang out With Positive People

    It is often said that you will have a similar level of health, income and lifestyle as the five people you spend the most time with.

    So if you want to be fit, then start to hang out with fit people. Want to start a business? Then hang out with business owners. And if you want to be positive, make sure you’re hanging out with positive people[2].

    7. Show Your Appreciation for Others

    By appreciating others for a job well done, their outfit, or their smile, you start to cause a positive chain reaction. Stop complaining and focus on all the good others are doing around you.

    Don’t you feel great when you receive a compliment from someone else? Well, if you want to receive more, then start giving them out and watch what happens to the people around you.

    One particular study found that people who sent letters of gratitude experienced significant increases in happiness scores[3]. If you don’t feel like writing a letter, send a nice text to someone who recently helped you out, or send an email thanking your coworker for always helping pick up the slack around the office. Whatever it is, take some time to show gratitude.

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    8. Garbage In, Garbage Out

    This is an expression from programming where the result is only as good as the input. If you’re feeding yourself with negativity all day long, then it’s pretty obvious you’re going to be feeling negative as well.

    A great deal of the media thrives on negativity. Put yourself on a negativity diet (including people) and watch how much easier it is to maintain your positive attitude.

    9. Stop Negative Thoughts in Their Tracks

    It’s hard to be a constantly positive person, and negative thoughts are going to bubble up from time to time. These will be more frequent in the beginning but can decrease as you practice the tips we’re talking about. When you start to notice negative thoughts, you can use a pattern interrupt to stop them in their tracks.

    The idea is to interrupt your current thought pattern and shift to a more positive outlook. One way to do this is to set a visual or auditory cue. It can be something as simple as a bracelet you wear each day or the sound of a car passing outside your window. Whenever you see or hear the cue, use it to shift your thoughts to something positive.

    You can learn more on how to shift your mindset and negative attitudes in the following video:

    10. Live With Gratitude

    So many positive things happen during our day, and we often ignore them while letting one negative comment or event ruin our mood. It can help to keep a gratitude journal where you jot down things you are grateful for each night or during the day.

    If you’re reading this, then you probably live with a roof over your head and food in your belly, which is a daily struggle for a large portion of the world. However, we often take these things for granted and don’t realize just how great we have it.

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    Try refocusing your thoughts towards everything you do have instead of what you don’t. One study found that reflecting on past experiences with a sense of gratitude can lead to increases in both hope and happiness[4]. That’s a great reason to give it a go today.

    You can find more ways to practice gratitude in this article.

    11. Recharge Your Batteries

    One key to adopting a positive attitude is taking the time to recharge your batteries. This might mean taking a few hours on the weekend to read a positive book or taking a few weeks for a holiday.

    If you’re not in the position to travel, you can take a staycation, or have a “home holiday” where you simply switch off from the outside world and spend time doing things you love.

    Final Thoughts

    You now have 11 tips for maintaining your positive attitude, but they are no use to you unless you implement them into your life.

    Start small, and pick the easiest tip or the one that you really love and introduce it into your life starting right now. Then, over time, start implementing the other tips and watch your positivity soar.

    More Tips About Staying Positive

    Featured photo credit: Pepe Cast Zam via unsplash.com

    Reference

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