Advertising

Here are the 7 Things You are Not Doing that Make You Feel Miserable and Unfulfilled

Advertising
Here are the 7 Things You are Not Doing that Make You Feel Miserable and Unfulfilled

We do a lot of things to be happier and more fulfilled. We try climbing the corporate ladder or building businesses here and there. We go to new places and have more adventures. But, no matter what we do or how much we accomplish, we still feel miserable and unfulfilled. Being happier and more fulfilled is not just about doing more. It’s about doing more of the right things. Here are the 7 things you probably are not doing that are making you feel miserable and unfulfilled:

1. You Are Not Discovering Your Purpose

The happiest and most fulfilled people are those who wake up knowing what they will do each day. They don’t feel stuck in the wrong job and don’t think about what ifs because they already found what they love to do. They know the one thing that they’re good at, that excites them, and that gives them purpose each day, regardless of the pay check. They know the one thing that only they can give to the world.

If you’re still feeling miserable and stuck in your job or in what you do, you probably haven’t tried enough, explored enough, and failed enough to find your one thing. The good news is it’s never too late to try new things, to meet new people, to take more chances, and to do more things that excite you until you find it. But, try new things with a purpose of finding your one thing. Finally, don’t be afraid to start all over again, make mistakes, and look silly just to find it.

2. You Are Not Realizing Your Potential

Knowing your purpose is one thing. Acting on it is another. No matter how grand finding your purpose seems, actually pursuing it is not always a bed of roses. There will still be days when you don’t feel like working, get discouraged by your results or the lack thereof, and doubt or regret pursuing your passion. That’s why many people give up on their purposes. Sadly, their potential remains just that – potential.

Advertising

In order to become the great person you know you are meant to be, have the courage to follow your dreams, the discipline to stay the course, and the persistence to weather the storms that come your way. Don’t go to the grave with your greatness still in you and without ever realizing your potential. Unfulfilled potential is one of the most miserable things in this world.

3. You Are Not Receiving Love

Many people feel miserable because they seek love and approval from other people. They wait for Mr. or Ms. Right to come into their lives. They struggle to move on from a lover who left them. They seek affirmation from bosses, colleagues, and other people. They even wait for Facebook friends to “like” their posts. They search constantly for love in the wrong places that they do not receive the love already around them.

If you feel miserable because the person you love doesn’t love you back no matter what you do, remember that there are people who already love you like your family and friends. Open yourself and receive the love that’s already available to you and you’ll realize how blessed you truly are. There are people who love you more than you know and they love you unconditionally. You just have to look in the right places.

4. You Are Not Giving Love

Unlike most of us, athletes and celebrities have no problem receiving love from other people. But, many of them fall into depression and addiction. Even at the height of their careers, many athletes and celebrities become miserable. Why? Because like balloons receiving air, they receive so much love that they just burst. People are not designed to just receive love but also to give love. People have a deep need to matter and to make a difference.

Advertising

If you are receiving so much love from your family, your friends, or even your significant other but still feel miserable, maybe it’s time to share that love with other people. Volunteer. Join a meaningful cause. Join a community near you. Love your bosses or colleagues without expecting anything in return. Love is not meant to be kept to yourself. It’s meant to be shared with the world.

5. You Are Not Taking Responsibility

We used to depend on our parents for major decisions in our lives like what school to enroll in or what course to take. Then, we depended on the education system to tell us what what we should learn. Now, we depend on social media to define what success is. Heck, we even depend on our bosses to give us direction for our lives. Then, we ask why we feel miserable and blame it on other people, including the president! But the reality is, they did not take control of our lives. We gave them the control.

Happy and fulfilled people take back that control from other people.They take back responsibility for their lives. They make their own choices and their own decisions. They take action and they live the lives they want, not what others want them to live. If you want to be happier and more fulfilled, know where you want to be. Don’t allow anyone or anything to stop you from pursuing your purpose. Set your own path and define your own success. Do not pattern your life after other people’s lives. Only you can live your life for yourself.

6. You Are Not Letting Go Of Limiting Beliefs And Self-Imposed Responsibilities

Most of the time, it’s not other people who are preventing you from achieving the greatness inside of you. Most of the time, it is you who prevents yourself with your self-doubt, discouraging self-talk, and self-imposed responsibilities.

Advertising

Let go of your limiting beliefs. Things may not be as easy as they seem to be. But, they are not as hard as you think are. You will most likely succeed at what you try. Only if you try.

Also, let go of your self-imposed responsibilities. The world does have so many problems. But, it’s not up to you to solve each and every one of them. Just do what you can to make a difference today. Take life less seriously and you’ll be surprised at how happy you can become. Life’s more fun than you think it is.

7. You Are Not Staying In The Present Moment

Many people are miserable because they are too caught up in the past or are living too far ahead in the future. They are stuck in their past hurts or past glory, worry too much about things that will probably not happen, or are too focused on future success that they cannot enjoy what they already have.

You may not yet be where you want to be, but the present moment is really all you have to enjoy now. Yesterday already had its moment and you have tomorrow to enjoy, well, tomorrow. The only way you can live a happy and fulfilled life is to live it to the fullest one day at a time. Do what you can for today, love the people already around you, appreciate who you have become, and just experience every minute of today. If you feel great today, there’s no reason you can’t feel the same again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day. Before you know it, you already lived a great life.

Advertising

Make A Plan And Put It On Paper

Knowing is half the battle. Actually doing it is the other half. If you’re serious about living a happier and more fulfilled life, make a plan and put it on paper. Make a plan to discover your purpose, to work on it, to receive the love available to you, to give love, to take responsibility, to let go of limiting beliefs, and to stay in the present moment. Put it on paper and then execute your plan.

Featured photo credit: Todd Quackenbush via unsplash.imgix.net

More by this author

Carlo Cruz

Writer and Artist

7 Daily Habits to Balance My Day (And My Life) 9 Steps to Disconnect from Social Media and Connect With Life Again 7 Steps To Own Your Morning And Seize Your Day 21 Life Lessons Even Non-Christians Can Learn From Jesus 7 Life-Changing Lessons You Can Learn from Apple Inc.

Trending in Communication

1 15 Things You Don’t Need To Apologize For (Though You Think You Do) 2 10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character 3 10 Scientifically Proven Ways To Stay Happy All The Time 4 8 Signs That Your Current Relationship Has No Future 5 How to Learn a Language in Just 30 Minutes a Day

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

Advertising
10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

Advertising

But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

Advertising

Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

Advertising

Read Next