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Here are the 7 Things You are Not Doing that Make You Feel Miserable and Unfulfilled

Here are the 7 Things You are Not Doing that Make You Feel Miserable and Unfulfilled

We do a lot of things to be happier and more fulfilled. We try climbing the corporate ladder or building businesses here and there. We go to new places and have more adventures. But, no matter what we do or how much we accomplish, we still feel miserable and unfulfilled. Being happier and more fulfilled is not just about doing more. It’s about doing more of the right things. Here are the 7 things you probably are not doing that are making you feel miserable and unfulfilled:

1. You Are Not Discovering Your Purpose

The happiest and most fulfilled people are those who wake up knowing what they will do each day. They don’t feel stuck in the wrong job and don’t think about what ifs because they already found what they love to do. They know the one thing that they’re good at, that excites them, and that gives them purpose each day, regardless of the pay check. They know the one thing that only they can give to the world.

If you’re still feeling miserable and stuck in your job or in what you do, you probably haven’t tried enough, explored enough, and failed enough to find your one thing. The good news is it’s never too late to try new things, to meet new people, to take more chances, and to do more things that excite you until you find it. But, try new things with a purpose of finding your one thing. Finally, don’t be afraid to start all over again, make mistakes, and look silly just to find it.

2. You Are Not Realizing Your Potential

Knowing your purpose is one thing. Acting on it is another. No matter how grand finding your purpose seems, actually pursuing it is not always a bed of roses. There will still be days when you don’t feel like working, get discouraged by your results or the lack thereof, and doubt or regret pursuing your passion. That’s why many people give up on their purposes. Sadly, their potential remains just that – potential.

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In order to become the great person you know you are meant to be, have the courage to follow your dreams, the discipline to stay the course, and the persistence to weather the storms that come your way. Don’t go to the grave with your greatness still in you and without ever realizing your potential. Unfulfilled potential is one of the most miserable things in this world.

3. You Are Not Receiving Love

Many people feel miserable because they seek love and approval from other people. They wait for Mr. or Ms. Right to come into their lives. They struggle to move on from a lover who left them. They seek affirmation from bosses, colleagues, and other people. They even wait for Facebook friends to “like” their posts. They search constantly for love in the wrong places that they do not receive the love already around them.

If you feel miserable because the person you love doesn’t love you back no matter what you do, remember that there are people who already love you like your family and friends. Open yourself and receive the love that’s already available to you and you’ll realize how blessed you truly are. There are people who love you more than you know and they love you unconditionally. You just have to look in the right places.

4. You Are Not Giving Love

Unlike most of us, athletes and celebrities have no problem receiving love from other people. But, many of them fall into depression and addiction. Even at the height of their careers, many athletes and celebrities become miserable. Why? Because like balloons receiving air, they receive so much love that they just burst. People are not designed to just receive love but also to give love. People have a deep need to matter and to make a difference.

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If you are receiving so much love from your family, your friends, or even your significant other but still feel miserable, maybe it’s time to share that love with other people. Volunteer. Join a meaningful cause. Join a community near you. Love your bosses or colleagues without expecting anything in return. Love is not meant to be kept to yourself. It’s meant to be shared with the world.

5. You Are Not Taking Responsibility

We used to depend on our parents for major decisions in our lives like what school to enroll in or what course to take. Then, we depended on the education system to tell us what what we should learn. Now, we depend on social media to define what success is. Heck, we even depend on our bosses to give us direction for our lives. Then, we ask why we feel miserable and blame it on other people, including the president! But the reality is, they did not take control of our lives. We gave them the control.

Happy and fulfilled people take back that control from other people.They take back responsibility for their lives. They make their own choices and their own decisions. They take action and they live the lives they want, not what others want them to live. If you want to be happier and more fulfilled, know where you want to be. Don’t allow anyone or anything to stop you from pursuing your purpose. Set your own path and define your own success. Do not pattern your life after other people’s lives. Only you can live your life for yourself.

6. You Are Not Letting Go Of Limiting Beliefs And Self-Imposed Responsibilities

Most of the time, it’s not other people who are preventing you from achieving the greatness inside of you. Most of the time, it is you who prevents yourself with your self-doubt, discouraging self-talk, and self-imposed responsibilities.

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Let go of your limiting beliefs. Things may not be as easy as they seem to be. But, they are not as hard as you think are. You will most likely succeed at what you try. Only if you try.

Also, let go of your self-imposed responsibilities. The world does have so many problems. But, it’s not up to you to solve each and every one of them. Just do what you can to make a difference today. Take life less seriously and you’ll be surprised at how happy you can become. Life’s more fun than you think it is.

7. You Are Not Staying In The Present Moment

Many people are miserable because they are too caught up in the past or are living too far ahead in the future. They are stuck in their past hurts or past glory, worry too much about things that will probably not happen, or are too focused on future success that they cannot enjoy what they already have.

You may not yet be where you want to be, but the present moment is really all you have to enjoy now. Yesterday already had its moment and you have tomorrow to enjoy, well, tomorrow. The only way you can live a happy and fulfilled life is to live it to the fullest one day at a time. Do what you can for today, love the people already around you, appreciate who you have become, and just experience every minute of today. If you feel great today, there’s no reason you can’t feel the same again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day. Before you know it, you already lived a great life.

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Make A Plan And Put It On Paper

Knowing is half the battle. Actually doing it is the other half. If you’re serious about living a happier and more fulfilled life, make a plan and put it on paper. Make a plan to discover your purpose, to work on it, to receive the love available to you, to give love, to take responsibility, to let go of limiting beliefs, and to stay in the present moment. Put it on paper and then execute your plan.

Featured photo credit: Todd Quackenbush via unsplash.imgix.net

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Carlo Cruz

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

There will always be times in your life when you may need to learn how to reinvent yourself. This could come when you experience a big change, such as leaving your job, moving on from a relationship, transferring to a new home, or losing a loved one. If you are going through a major shift in your life, you may have to find new ways of thinking or doing things, or risk failing to reach your full potential.

“When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.”

Many people who dared to leave their old unhappy lives enabled themselves to pursue their passions and find a renewed zest for living. You can also achieve the same if you take a leap of faith and make things happen for yourself.

To help you always be at your best wherever you may be in your life, here are some practical tips on how to reinvent yourself.

The Reinvention Checklist

Before embarking on a journey of self-reinvention, you need to make sure that you have everything that you need to make the trip bump-proof. These things include:

Resilience

Problems and obstacles are guaranteed to happen. Some of them will be difficult and may knock you off course; the important thing, however, is that you learn from these difficulties, never lose focus, and always get back up. This requires building resilience to get through the tough times.

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Support

Humans are social beings. Although it is important that you learn to rely on yourself when facing any challenge, it is also important to have a support team that you can lean on to give you a boost when things get too tough and to correct you when you’re making mistakes.

The key is to find the right balance between independence and dependence. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share the difficulties you’re facing. When you open up, you’ll find the people who are really going to be there for you.

Self-Care

During the process of learning how to reinvent yourself, you will have to pull yourself away from your old comfort zones, habits, roles, and self-perceptions. This can be difficult and cause you to question your self-worth, so it’s important to engage in self-care to maintain a positive outlook and keep your mind and body healthy as you face the challenges that await you. Self-care can include:

  • Participating in a hobby you enjoy
  • Spending time with your support system
  • Taking some time to walk in nature
  • Practicing loving-kindness meditation

Find what works for you and what helps you feel like your true self as you seek a reinvented version of you.

How to Reinvent Yourself

Once you’re sure that you’re equipped with all the tools in the self-reinvention checklist, you can begin your journey of learning how to reinvent yourself.

1. Discover Your Strengths

This step provides valuable information on how you deal with certain situations. If you have this information, you will be able to manage difficulties more efficiently.

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To find out what your strengths are, you can ask your friends and colleagues for feedback, engage in self-reflection, or try these 10 Ways to Find Your Own Personal Strengths.

2. Plan

This step calls for a thorough assessment of your current emotional, psychological, and financial status so that you can develop plans that are realistic and practical.

It’s okay to have ambitious dreams, but your plans have to be realistic. Making use of SMART goals can help you plan your life better.

You can also consult your mentor or life coach for practical tips and advice.

Ultimately, you’ll want to create specific long-term and short-term goals that you can create milestones for. By doing this, you’ll lay out a specific roadmap to your reinvented self.

3. Try Things Out

Sometimes, we don’t know if solutions actually work until we try them out. This is why it is important to experiment whenever possible, especially if you’re dealing with a career change. You may need to simply experiment in order to find the things you like. This can be the same with hobbies. If you’re not sure what you would like doing, accept invitations from friends to join them in their favorite sport or take a class, like pottery or photography.

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By seeing what’s out there in any area of your life, you’ll have a better chance of finding the things you enjoy and the goals you want to create.

4. Manage Your Finances Well

Changes may require a bit of money. If you’re shifting to a new career, you may have to pay for training. If you’re going through a tough divorce or having a hard time dealing with the death of a loved one, you may have to pay for therapy. If you’re moving to a new home, you’ll definitely have to pay a whole lot of expenses.

All of these things are possible, but it will require a bit of money savviness as you learn how to reinvent yourself. If you have that cushion, you’ll feel more comfortable straying from your current path to try new things.

5. Muster Your Courage

Fears and self-doubt may arise when you encounter difficulties and setbacks. Sometimes, they may also come when you’re taking risks. You have to manage these negative emotions well and not allow them to discourage you. Tap into your courage and try doing at least one new thing each week to develop it.

Learn how to deal with your self-doubts to move forward in this article: How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck (And How to Overcome It)

6. Use Your Support Group

As stated above, you need to build a strong support group before you even start the process of reinventing yourself. Your group will keep you from taking wrong turns and encourage you when you get too weighed down by problems. Don’t be afraid to call them, or even ask them out for coffee if you need to vent about the current difficulties you’re facing.

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7. Remind Yourself Every Day of Your Commitment

Write your goals on different-sized cards and scatter them at home and at work in places where you can easily see them. This way, you will constantly be reminded of where you want to be. Remember, writing down your goals helps them stick[1].

8. Accept Failure, Learn, and Resume Your Journey

Failing is normal, especially when we’re trying out something new. When you fail, simply recognize it, learn from it, and move on. Failure, in the end, is the best way to learn what does and doesn’t work, and you simply won’t be able to learn how to reinvent yourself if you don’t accept the inevitable failures that await you.

Final Thoughts

If you truly want to learn how to reinvent yourself and live the life you desire, take the advice above and start taking action. It will take time, patience, and plenty of effort to make the change you want happen, but it will be all worth it.

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Featured photo credit: Ashley Rich via unsplash.com

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