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Beliefs That Will Free You From Negative Thoughts

Beliefs That Will Free You From Negative Thoughts

All of us have almost the same life but there is a very little thing that makes each life different from one another. This thing results in the difference between success and failure, winning and losing, living and surviving, taking the initiative and being run upon and so on. This thing is what we call ‘attitude.’

This attitude towards life and the happenings of life is what makes you think in a particular way. If you have a pessimistic attitude towards life, then the result would be you thinking negative all the time and this negativity will reflect in your actions, hence classifying you in the group of people which you don’t want to be a part of in this life. I will discuss with you 20 beliefs that you can incorporate in your life which will free you from negative thoughts and take you on the path of progress and prosperity.

1. Life Is Not Perfect But It Is Great

The first belief that can prove to be of great benefit to getting free from negative thoughts is believing and understanding the fact that life is not perfect. But its imperfection is no reason to give up or be sad about it. Rather it is this imperfect part that motivates us to take the leap and strive to make it perfect. Therefore, consider the imperfections of your life as blessings, which motivate you to keep on going and making it perfect.

2. What Others Say About You Is Their Problem

One of the major factors that instigate negative thoughts is thinking of what people think about you. This is a serious performance killer and keeps you pessimistic and within your shell. Therefore, in order to do away with it, don’t worry about what other people think about you. Consider it a problem of theirs which they have to deal with and you don’t have to take their burden.

3. Bad Days Are A Natural Part Of Life

None of us could have the same days over and over again. It is natural that we ought to face bad days every now and then. Do not consider all your life full of bad days, neither should you consider it a thing that shouldn’t exist in your life. Consider them as a natural part of life and have a belief that where there are bad days, there are good days as well.

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4. Everything Won’t Be There Forever

One of the greatest contributors to negative thoughts is that we stick with people or things and do not want them to leave our life. What most of us forget is that all the things in this world are temporal and sooner or later everything has to expire. Therefore, try believing that everything won’t be there forever but your life must move on.

5. In Every Bad Experience There Is A Lesson

Do you think that all the successful tycoons in the world faced success in whatever they did? If you think so then you need to rethink as they also faced failures in their life. They were smart enough to realize that in failures there are lessons, thus they learned a lesson in every failure and did not repeat it again, which was the key to their success.

6. Happiness Is Your Creation

The one thing that can perhaps end all your worries is to find ways to live happy in whatever situation you are in. It is only possible when you know that happiness is a creation of your own mind and it has very little to do with the outside circumstance. Thus, if you succeed in training your mind to remain happy, then there is no day when you will wake up worried in your life.

7. The Work Is Worth It

Another negative thought that diminishes our potential is the thought of hating doing work. We want to live life and enjoy it without doing any work. If you have ever been in a situation in which you had to stay at home without doing any work, then you would have realized that the free time you get after the weekends is so charming because you had worked five days. If you remain free and do nothing then this free time in general and life in particular will have no charm for you. Whatever work you do, consider it worth spending your time.

8. Being Wrong Is Necessary For Being Right

Have you ever imagined what your life would be if you had never committed all the mistakes you committed in your life? Although the objective of life is to minimize mistakes, being wrong is necessary in order to be right. Because if you are not wrong, then you will never know the ills of being wrong and consequently won’t strive to be right. Therefore, to free yourself from negative thoughts accept the existence and importance of the odd wrong in life.

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9. You Are Free To Be You

Although there are all sorts of constraints around us, when you think you are free to be you then there is no stopping you. You can definitely break the shackles of negative thoughts.

10. The Struggling Phase Is Something To Be Grateful For

Most of us start to whine when the struggling phase in our life begins. Very few realize that it is a great blessing to be grateful for the chance to struggle in life. For most people, life is just a downhill ride and they can do nothing to stop it. Therefore, be grateful for the struggle phase as well.

11. Life Moves On

The hard fact of life is that it moves on. If there is something that is holding you back, then realize that it is limiting your potential. In order to move forward in life you will have to let it go.

12. People You Spend Time With Matter

This does not require any additional stressing, as the people that you spend your time with have an influence over your thinking. Be around positive people for positive thoughts.

13. Being Judgmental Is A Waste Of Time

It happens often that people or things don’t turn out to be what we think them to be. Instead of being judgmental about everything that comes across in life, weigh things and people on their merits.

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14. People Think That You Judge Them Too

All the while when you are thinking that people are judging you, at the same time they are thinking that you are judging them. Thus, if you realize this fact, negative thoughts will stop making place in your mind.

15. The World Needs You

No matter how insignificant you think of yourself in this life, it is a fact that you have a role to play in this world and the world needs you. Therefore, instead of thinking that people don’t need you, thinking that you can make the world a happy place will surely bring you out of pessimism.

16. People Are Free To Think What They Want

Never worry about what people are thinking about you and keep in mind that you cannot prevent people from thinking. The best way is to let them think what they want and you can go on with your life.

17. You Know Yourself Better

No matter whatever the world says, don’t let it get you and always keep in mind that it is you who knows yourself better than anyone in this world. Therefore, don’t let the opinions of others identify your potential, rather be your judge yourself.

18. Change Is The Only Constant

Most of us go into pessimistic thoughts when we think of something changing in our life. Do whatever you want, but I tell you that change is the only constant and it will take place. Therefore, instead of worrying about it and resisting it, accept it to stay happy.

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19. Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining

No matter how bad the conditions get, if you have the attitude that you believe in a silver lining in every cloud, then you will definitely find that silver lining and prosper.

20. It’s Mind Over Matter

Above all, the one thing that can keep negative thoughts at bay is the thinking that mind is over matter. If you work on making your brain strong and controling your thoughts, then there is nothing in this world which you can’t get through.

Now It’s Your Turn!

Do you have negative thoughts? How did you get out of them? What elements govern your thinking process? Please share your insightful thoughts in the comments section below.

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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