Advertising
Advertising

Before You Let Someone Enter Your Life, You Should Have These 15 Things First

Before You Let Someone Enter Your Life, You Should Have These 15 Things First

If you think getting into a relationship will make you “whole” or “complete,” think again. So many people enter into a relationship thinking the other person will have the ability to make them happy, when in reality happiness starts from within. If you want a healthy, long-lasting relationship, make sure to have these 15 qualities before you start looking for that perfect match:

1. Self-worth

Knowing your worth means you won’t settle for less than you deserve. You won’t be looking for someone to complete you, because you understand that you are already complete. You know you’re worthy of the time, energy, and dedication a relationship takes. A good sense of self-worth also means you’ll be less likely to “settle” in a relationship.

2. Your own group of friends

Having a stable group of comrades will provide you with an equilibrium. New relationships tend to take up a large chunk of time in the beginning, and a good group of friends will remind you to stay balanced. Another benefit of fostering friendships before you enter into a romantic relationship is having people who know the real you. Good friends will tell you if you aren’t acting like yourself.

3. A realistic view of relationships

The honeymoon phase isn’t going to last forever. When the infatuation subsides and you settle back into a routine (except now another person has been added into your routine), this doesn’t mean the relationship is fizzling out. Long-term relationships aren’t meant to continuously function on an emotional high. Unfortunately, our society has portrayed an unrealistic view of romance through movies and literature. It is important to remember that real relationships involve real people, each with their own set of flaws and idiosyncrasies. Being realistic in your expectations is essential. In order to stay fresh, relationships take consistent effort from both parties.

Advertising

4. Financial independence

You’ll want to make sure you’re not only financially independent, but also that you have a well-rounded understanding of money management. A level head when it comes to money will keep you in control of your own financial well-being. Being financially independent before you start a relationship will give you a sense of security. You won’t have to depend on anyone else to keep you afloat.

5. Let go of that ex

In order to cultivate a healthy relationship with a new person, all feelings toward your ex need to be dealt with. You’ll want to have moved on completely from your past. Entering into a new relationship without resolving a previous one can lead to unnecessary animosity. You might start comparing your new partner to your ex or harboring resentments and projecting them onto your new relationship.

6. A handle on your behavior when tipsy

Hopefully, you’re done with the drunk make-out sessions and hook-ups. If these kinds of relationships are something you want to continue with, then you aren’t quite ready for one-on-one commitment. If you can’t trust yourself, then your girlfriend or boyfriend won’t be able to trust you either. Without trust, the relationship has no foundation.

7. Understand that a relationship is a want, not a need

You don’t need to be in a relationship. You are perfectly okay by yourself. A relationship is one of those bonuses of life. If you enter into a relationship thinking you need it, you risk becoming dependent on someone. This perpetuates a codependent dichotomy, which can cause harm to those involved. Your relationship is a beautiful addition to your already complete life.

Advertising

8. The ability to be alone

You’ll want to be comfortable in your own skin before you invite someone else into your life. This means you need possess the ability to be alone – and be comfortable with it. Can you sit at home with a cup of tea and a book without getting antsy? One of the hardest things a person can do is be alone, but it’s essential. Because even in a relationship, you’ll find yourself alone from time to time.

9. Balance

As stated earlier, your friends (if they are good friends) will help with this, but you have to make sure your sense of balance is intact before entering into a relationship. Naturally, a new relationship will skew your balance a little, but you should be able bring everything back into harmony with ease.

10. An understanding of what you are looking for

Do you have any ideas about what you are looking for in a partner? While remembering to stay flexible, also have some ideas about what you want in a match. Do you want to have kids down the road? Do you want to travel? Maybe you don’t think this is necessary to think about at the moment, but these are questions that will affect the relationship long term.

11. The ability to compromise

Compromise in a relationship is unavoidable. No matter how alike you and your partner are, there will come a time with your opinions differ on a particular subject. When a difference of opinion occurs, you will need to come to a compromise.

Advertising

12. An open mind

It’s good to have expectations in mind when looking for a partner, but also remember to stay open-minded. What you want might manifest itself in a person you didn’t expect. Be open enough to step outside your comfort zone. This doesn’t imply that you need to settle, just try something different.

13. Your own set of hobbies

Know what you like to do. Are you into yoga or paddle-boarding? Your partner will come with his or her own set of hobbies. It’s important to have your own as well. That way, when your partner really wants to attend the latest Comic-Con event, you and your friends can plan a paddle-boarding date.

14. Goals

It’s not enough to know what your goals are. You’ll want to have an actionable plan when it comes to achieving them. The right partner will help you achieve those goals, but sometimes your aspirations can get lost in the mix of a new relationship.

15. Time

Relationships take time. Getting to know someone takes time. If you are in the middle of a college degree and working part-time, or if you are in the midst of a strenuous career, you might not have the extra hours to dedicate to getting to know someone. This may well be one of the most important factors in letting someone into your life.

Advertising

Do you have any other suggestions for someone thinking about taking the plunge into a relationship? Share them in the comments below! 

Featured photo credit: Heart Cut/Lefteris Heretakis via flickr.com

More by this author

11 Common Grammar Mistakes You’re Probably Making Before You Let Someone Enter Your Life, You Should Have These 15 Things First 12 Lessons Emma Watson Has Taught Me About Success 15 Fun Ways To Save Money (Instead Of Using Piggy Banks) 35 Reasons Why Sisters Are the Best Friends

Trending in Communication

1 How to Develop Mutual Respect in a Relationship 2 If Money Can’t Buy Happiness, What Can? 3 Having an Emotional Breakdown? 15 Ways to Re-Center Yourself 4 10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts 5 What’s the Easiest Language to Learn for English Speakers?

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on September 17, 2019

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

Positive thinking can lead to a lot of positive change in your life. Developing an optimistic outlook can be good for both your physical and mental health.

But sometimes, certain situations arise in life that makes it hard to keep a positive outlook. Take steps to make positive thinking become more like your second nature and you’ll reap the biggest benefits.

Here are 10 ways to make thinking positive thoughts easy:

1. Spend Time with Positive People

If you surround yourself with constant complainers, their negativity is likely to rub off on you.

Spend time with positive friends and family members to increase the likelihood that their positive thinking habits will become yours too. It’s hard to be negative when everyone around you is so positive.

Advertising

2. Take Responsibility for Your Behavior

When you encounter problems and difficulties in life, don’t play the role of the victim. Acknowledge your role in the situation and take responsibility for your behavior.

Accepting responsibility can help you learn from mistakes and prevent you from blaming others unfairly.

3. Contribute to the Community

One of the best ways to feel good about what you have, is to focus on what you have to give.

Volunteer in some manner and give back to the community. Helping others can give you a new outlook on the world and can assist you with positive thinking.

4. Read Positive and Inspirational Materials

Spend time each day reading something that encourages positive thinking. Read the Bible, spiritual material, or inspirational quotes to help you focus on what’s important to you in life. It can be a great way to start and end your day.

Advertising

Some recommendations for you:

5. Recognize and Replace Negative Thoughts

You won’t be successful at positive thinking if you’re still plagued by frequent negative thoughts. Learn to recognize and replace thoughts that are overly negative. Often, thoughts that include words like “always” and “never” signal that they aren’t true.

If you find yourself thinking something such as, “I always mess everything up,” replace it with something more realistic such as, “Sometimes I make mistakes but I learn from them.”

There’s no need to make your thoughts unrealistically positive, but instead, make them more realistic.

6. Establish and Work Toward Goals

It’s easier to be positive about problems and setbacks when you have goals that you’re working toward. Goals will give you motivation to overcome those obstacles when you encounter problems along the way. Without clear goals, it’s harder to make decisions and gauge your progress.

Advertising

Learn to set SMART goals to help you achieve more.

7. Consider the Consequences of Negativity

Spend some time thinking about the consequences of negative thinking. Often, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

For example, a person who thinks, “I probably won’t get this job interview,” may put less effort into the interview. As a result, he may decrease his chances of getting the job.

Create a list of all the ways negative thinking impacts your life. It likely influences your behavior, your relationships, and your feelings. Then, create a list of the ways in which positive thinking could be beneficial.

8. Offer Compliments to Others

Look for reasons to compliment others. Be genuine in your praise and compliments, but offer it frequently. This will help you look for the good in other people.

Advertising

9. Create a Daily Gratitude List

If you start keeping a daily gratitude list, you’ll start noticing exactly how much you have to be thankful for. This can help you focus on the positive in your life instead of thinking about all the bad things that have happened in the day.

Getting in the habit of showing an attitude of gratitude makes positive thinking more of a habit. Here’re 40 Simple Ways To Practice Gratitude.

10. Practice Self-Care

Take good care of yourself and you’ll be more equipped to think positively.

Get plenty of rest and exercise and practice managing your stress well. Taking care of your physical and mental health will provide you with more energy to focus on positive thinking.

Learn about these 30 Self-Care Habits for a Strong and Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit.

More About Staying Positive

Featured photo credit: DESIGNECOLOGIST via unsplash.com

Read Next