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9 Things Women Need to Stop Apologizing For

9 Things Women Need to Stop Apologizing For

Women have the tendency to apologize—for everything. A good example of the constantly apologetic nature is found in the viral YouTube video “Shrinking Women” where Lily Meyers passionately makes a case for why women tend to feel like we need to say sorry all the time. These are some of the things we tend to apologize for, but really need to check ourselves and stop doing.

1. Stop apologizing for your body.

Whether big or small, round or straight, there is no reason to apologize for the way your body is shaped. Women are criticized for bodies that are too large (for “health reasons”) and too small (for “health reasons”). The fact is, we all have a different healthy weight and comfortable size. Your health is determined by your doctor, not someone who can only look at your body from the outside.

2. Stop apologizing for the way your home looks.

Whether off the charts clean or looking like a tornado has gone through the house, do not apologize. If someone is coming into your home, of course you can try to tidy up a bit, but your guest will decide if he/she wants to come back again regardless of your apology. Most often, the person does not even notice the supposed “mess.”

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3. Stop apologizing for your age.

Whether young or old, women can never seem to be satisfied with their age. When we are young we slather on lipstick, put on high heels in an attempt to look “more grown up.” As we get older, the number of face creams, gym memberships and hair coloring trips increases in order to fool those around us of our age. Why does it matter? Why not embrace where we are in our life and forget about trying to be an age that we are not?

4. Stop apologizing for having feelings.

Whether you are weepy or overjoyed, it is okay to have feelings. Women typically have a wider range of emotions due to something called hormones that we tend to explain away with being “tired” or “emotional” or having “PMS.” Sure we can try to control these feelings and it is more appropriate to cry in private rather than in public, but when it happens, resist the urge to say sorry for the way you feel.

5. Stop apologizing for your achievements.

Whether we have great achievements or none at all, it really is no one else’s business. Sometimes we feel that if only we had this degree or that career or a husband and a small bunch of cherub-like babes at home we will finally be happy; finally be respected. The thing is, there will always be more to accomplish in life. Be happy with where you are right now and stop keeping that secret tally between you and your friends.

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On the other hand, if you do have those tangible successes under your belt, no need to say sorry. You can be proud of what you have accomplished without feeling like you are hurting others.

6. Stop apologizing for what you are wearing.

Whether someone thinks what you are wearing is too revealing or more suited for playing BINGO on Saturday afternoons, do not apologize. Who can judge what is too much or too little skin to be showing? It is all opinion. Wear what makes you comfortable.

There is also the issue of what is stylish in terms of clothing. Some women chase the latest fashions and must have the trendiest clothing available. If you are one of those obsessed with fashion, do not apologize. Every woman has a right to her interests, so embrace your love for clothing.

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If you are one that does not care for fashion, do not apologize for what you are wearing. Chances are very high that you bring more to the table than your outfit.

7. Stop apologizing for wearing (or not wearing) make-up.

Whether you feel better with a clean slate or a painted face, that, my friend, is up to you. I personally enjoy getting glammed up every once in a while, but appreciate being able to go to the gym with a bare face.

8. Stop apologizing for your occupation.

Whether you stay at home with your kids, work a desk job, write novels or own your own company, never apologize. The amount of money you make or the amount of time spent working is your own business. You should not care if others think you work too little or too much; if your job is menial or not. Your occupation is up to you and you alone.

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9. Stop apologizing for what you eat.

Whether you are a super healthy salad-loving gal or burgers and fries are your thing, do not say sorry. You have the right to put what you want into your body. If others are concerned about your health, they can speak with your doctor.

We might feel the need to try to be accommodating and to be friends with everyone, but the truth is that we will just drive ourselves crazy. There is no way to please everyone, so your best bet is to be yourself and stop apologizing for it. When we stop saying sorry for silly these things, we can grow into the most confident version of ourselves.

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Amanda DeWitt

Writer. Photographer. Instagrammer. Future Educator.

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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