Advertising
Advertising

9 Things Women Need to Stop Apologizing For

9 Things Women Need to Stop Apologizing For

Women have the tendency to apologize—for everything. A good example of the constantly apologetic nature is found in the viral YouTube video “Shrinking Women” where Lily Meyers passionately makes a case for why women tend to feel like we need to say sorry all the time. These are some of the things we tend to apologize for, but really need to check ourselves and stop doing.

1. Stop apologizing for your body.

Whether big or small, round or straight, there is no reason to apologize for the way your body is shaped. Women are criticized for bodies that are too large (for “health reasons”) and too small (for “health reasons”). The fact is, we all have a different healthy weight and comfortable size. Your health is determined by your doctor, not someone who can only look at your body from the outside.

2. Stop apologizing for the way your home looks.

Whether off the charts clean or looking like a tornado has gone through the house, do not apologize. If someone is coming into your home, of course you can try to tidy up a bit, but your guest will decide if he/she wants to come back again regardless of your apology. Most often, the person does not even notice the supposed “mess.”

Advertising

3. Stop apologizing for your age.

Whether young or old, women can never seem to be satisfied with their age. When we are young we slather on lipstick, put on high heels in an attempt to look “more grown up.” As we get older, the number of face creams, gym memberships and hair coloring trips increases in order to fool those around us of our age. Why does it matter? Why not embrace where we are in our life and forget about trying to be an age that we are not?

4. Stop apologizing for having feelings.

Whether you are weepy or overjoyed, it is okay to have feelings. Women typically have a wider range of emotions due to something called hormones that we tend to explain away with being “tired” or “emotional” or having “PMS.” Sure we can try to control these feelings and it is more appropriate to cry in private rather than in public, but when it happens, resist the urge to say sorry for the way you feel.

5. Stop apologizing for your achievements.

Whether we have great achievements or none at all, it really is no one else’s business. Sometimes we feel that if only we had this degree or that career or a husband and a small bunch of cherub-like babes at home we will finally be happy; finally be respected. The thing is, there will always be more to accomplish in life. Be happy with where you are right now and stop keeping that secret tally between you and your friends.

Advertising

On the other hand, if you do have those tangible successes under your belt, no need to say sorry. You can be proud of what you have accomplished without feeling like you are hurting others.

6. Stop apologizing for what you are wearing.

Whether someone thinks what you are wearing is too revealing or more suited for playing BINGO on Saturday afternoons, do not apologize. Who can judge what is too much or too little skin to be showing? It is all opinion. Wear what makes you comfortable.

There is also the issue of what is stylish in terms of clothing. Some women chase the latest fashions and must have the trendiest clothing available. If you are one of those obsessed with fashion, do not apologize. Every woman has a right to her interests, so embrace your love for clothing.

Advertising

If you are one that does not care for fashion, do not apologize for what you are wearing. Chances are very high that you bring more to the table than your outfit.

7. Stop apologizing for wearing (or not wearing) make-up.

Whether you feel better with a clean slate or a painted face, that, my friend, is up to you. I personally enjoy getting glammed up every once in a while, but appreciate being able to go to the gym with a bare face.

8. Stop apologizing for your occupation.

Whether you stay at home with your kids, work a desk job, write novels or own your own company, never apologize. The amount of money you make or the amount of time spent working is your own business. You should not care if others think you work too little or too much; if your job is menial or not. Your occupation is up to you and you alone.

Advertising

9. Stop apologizing for what you eat.

Whether you are a super healthy salad-loving gal or burgers and fries are your thing, do not say sorry. You have the right to put what you want into your body. If others are concerned about your health, they can speak with your doctor.

We might feel the need to try to be accommodating and to be friends with everyone, but the truth is that we will just drive ourselves crazy. There is no way to please everyone, so your best bet is to be yourself and stop apologizing for it. When we stop saying sorry for silly these things, we can grow into the most confident version of ourselves.

More by this author

Amanda DeWitt

Writer. Photographer. Instagrammer. Future Educator.

The Ultimate Photography Cheat Sheet Every Photography Lover Needs 24 Funny Things to Tweet When You’re Out of Ideas 11 Ways To Have Romance In Long Distance Relationships love facts 10 Interesting Facts About Love You Probably Don’t Know, According to Science banana bourbon muffins A Dozen Banana Recipes To Make You Healthier And Happier

Trending in Communication

1The Gentle Art of Saying No 217 Ted Talks for Kids to Inspire Little Minds to Do Big Things 310 Toxic Persons You Should Just Get Rid Of 4Striving Towards Secure Attachment: How to Restructure Your Thoughts 5Being Self Aware Is the Key to Success: How to Boost Self Awareness

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

Advertising

But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

Advertising

What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

Advertising

But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

Advertising

Read Next