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8 Types of Toxic Partners You Should Never Let Stay with You

8 Types of Toxic Partners You Should Never Let Stay with You

There are toxic partners we simply can’t handle. They are just detrimental to our existence and progress. Relationships should fulfill us and help us to become better people—not tear us apart and make our lives unlivable. In a relationship, it is important for you to find yourself an ideal match. And certainly, that match shouldn’t break your world apart with a toxic flow.

1. The Jealous Partner

A bit of jealousy is okay—it adds spice to a relationship. But like salt, you can sprinkle too much of it onto a meal. A partner can be so jealous that it makes your relationship acidic. Little things, like not being able to spend time with your friends or chat on the phone with other people can be infectious. Taking jealousy too far can be toxic.

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2. The Domineering Partner

How does your partner feel about your projects or goals? Does he/she want to make every decision for you? A relationship should not turn you into a robot; rather there should be cases when the other person wants to support you and watch you take actions that you consider ideal. If a partner becomes too controlling, you should understand that you are in a relationship with a toxic person.

3. The Extremely Insecure Partner

Nothing you seem to say or try to do can be assuring enough for this sort of partner. Even when you have made and offered tons of proof to make him/her accept and believe in your love, they still remain terribly insecure. Such toxic partners can drag away your positive energy and be a frustrating distraction most of the time.

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4. The Absolute Perfectionist

It is great to be in a relationship with a perfectionist, as they encourage more purpose and action. However this could be excessive and could be obsessive if they want everything in your life and everything that surrounds both of you to be perfect. Such people with a perfectionist streak will always be looking for flaws with you and make it impossible for you to enjoy the relationship.

5. The Narcissistic Partner

This type of partner may love and adore you. There is nothing that would have been so wrong with them except that they treat you like an accessory. They are materialistic and are more concerned about physical appearances. The world should revolve around them and your relationship should be the one that is always talked about by others. You are more of a doll to accomplish their purpose of being noticed. If you want to improve your self-esteem, you have to avoid such a relationship.

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6. The Blaming Partner

This type is never in the wrong or never takes responsibility for their mistakes. Their frustrations and disappointments are something they pile on you. You cannot turn the cards on them as that will only lead to more frustrations with you. If you are always blamed by a partner for things you do not know anything about then you are in a relationship with a toxic partner.

7. The Competitive Partner

Even when they claim they love you and they would do anything for you, they see you only as competition rather than a partner. They don’t want you to beat them at anything, whether it is in earning money or a game. They never want to lose and are sore losers when they do. Your fall is something they cherish, as they see this as an opportunity to pick you up again on your feet and show you how on top they are.

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8. The Lying Partner

We all lie. It is in our nature to lie out of fear, doubts or worry. But some partners are chronic liars. They simply lie all the time. They treat lying as a means to get at you. While you become insecure and frustrated about their act of lying, the drama excites them.

Featured photo credit: http://www.flickr.com via flickr.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on August 4, 2020

The Gentle Art of Saying No For a Less Stressful Life

The Gentle Art of Saying No For a Less Stressful Life

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here’s how to master the Gentle Art of Saying No:

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1. Value Your Time

Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”

2. Know Your Priorities

Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time?

For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.

3. Practice Saying No

Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.

4. Don’t Apologize

A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.

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5. Stop Being Nice

Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets.

Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.

6. Say No to Your Boss

Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no,” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning.

But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.

7. Pre-Empting

It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting,

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“Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”

8. Get Back to You

Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them:

“After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.”

At least you gave it some consideration.

9. Maybe Later

If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say,

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“This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].”

Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.

10. It’s Not You, It’s Me

This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often, the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time.

Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

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Featured photo credit: Kyle Glenn via unsplash.com

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