Advertising
Advertising

8 Tips To Feel Good About Yourself Without Making Any Comparisons

8 Tips To Feel Good About Yourself Without Making Any Comparisons

As you take stock of everyone else’s success, you may begin to wonder how to feel good about yourself given your circumstances. However, comparing yourself to everyone else will interfere with your ability to reach your potential. Practice these 8 strategies to help you feel good about yourself without making any comparisons.

1. Develop gratitude for what you have.

Instead of focusing on what others have that you don’t, focus on what you do have. If you have a jar of loose change somewhere in your home, you’re already more wealthy than many people on earth.

Develop gratitude for what you do have. Practice being thankful for all things big and small in your life and it will prevent you from feeling jealous about those who have more than you do. Each day try to list at least five things you are grateful for having in your life.

Advertising

2. Recognize that life isn’t fair.

Life isn’t meant to be fair. Humans aren’t dealt an equal and fair hand at birth. Instead, everyone is born into different circumstances with their own struggles.

As soon as you accept that life isn’t fair, you’ll stop wasting time and energy focusing on wishing things were different. Let go of the anger and frustration you feel when you encounter hardships and struggles. Instead, focus on what you can learn from going through difficult times.

3. Resolve to compete with yourself only.

There will always be someone who is more attractive, has more money, and is more successful than you. Stop comparing yourself to them. Looking at them green with envy won’t change your situation.

Advertising

The only person you need to compete with is yourself. Set out to improve who you are today compared to who you were yesterday. It’s the only way to truly gauge your progress.

4. Change what you can, accept what you can’t.

Develop a plan to change what is within your control and accept what you cannot change. You may be able to lose 10 pounds; however, your genetic make-up may never allow you to be the world’s best body builder. Focus on what is within your control and give up trying to change the impossible.

5. Develop clear goals.

One of the best ways to feel good about yourself is to experience some success. Establish some clear, obtainable goals for yourself. Then, develop action steps that can help you work toward reaching your goals.

Advertising

Consider goals to improve your health, your finances, your social life, or your relationships. Determine what you can do to make things better and develop a timeline for yourself. Once you have a timeline, you’ll increase the chances that you’ll actually make change.

6. Take an honest look at why you don’t feel good about yourself.

If you don’t feel good about yourself, examine the reasons. For example, if you don’t treat people kindly or you steal from your boss, perhaps you shouldn’t feel good about yourself.

Take some time to truly examine the reasons why you don’t feel good. You may be able to help yourself recognize areas of your life where you need to make some changes that can help improve your self-image.

Advertising

7. Change your behavior.

Changing your behavior will change the way you feel. Be willing to try something new, regardless of whether you feel like it or not.

For example, if you spend your weekends sitting at home on the couch, it’s unlikely that you’ll suddenly feel good about yourself. However, if you join a new activity or take a class, you may meet new people, gain new skills, and recognize new talents that can help you feel better about yourself.

8. Focus on making others feel good.

One of the best ways to feel good about yourself is to do good deeds for others. Performing acts of kindness takes the focus off you and gives you more reasons to feel good. Volunteer at a nursing home, read to children in a hospital, or walk pets at the animal shelter and you’ll start focusing on what you can contribute to the world rather than wishing you could be like everybody else.

More by this author

Amy Morin

A psychotherapist, psychology instructor, keynote speaker, and the author of the bestselling book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do

10 Practical Tips To Make Positive Thinking Your Habit 12 Ways To Improve Social Skills And Make You Sociable Anytime 60 Things To Be Thankful For In Life 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do 10 Surprising Benefits Of Having A Dog You Didn’t Know About

Trending in Communication

1 19 Golden Pieces of Relationship Advice From the Experts 2 Signs Of Low Self-Esteem And The Root Causes You Might Not Know 3 How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship 4 How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future 5 This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

Advertising

The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

Advertising

If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

Advertising

In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

Advertising

It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

More Articles About Effective Communication

Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next