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8 Tips To Feel Good About Yourself Without Making Any Comparisons

8 Tips To Feel Good About Yourself Without Making Any Comparisons

As you take stock of everyone else’s success, you may begin to wonder how to feel good about yourself given your circumstances. However, comparing yourself to everyone else will interfere with your ability to reach your potential. Practice these 8 strategies to help you feel good about yourself without making any comparisons.

1. Develop gratitude for what you have.

Instead of focusing on what others have that you don’t, focus on what you do have. If you have a jar of loose change somewhere in your home, you’re already more wealthy than many people on earth.

Develop gratitude for what you do have. Practice being thankful for all things big and small in your life and it will prevent you from feeling jealous about those who have more than you do. Each day try to list at least five things you are grateful for having in your life.

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2. Recognize that life isn’t fair.

Life isn’t meant to be fair. Humans aren’t dealt an equal and fair hand at birth. Instead, everyone is born into different circumstances with their own struggles.

As soon as you accept that life isn’t fair, you’ll stop wasting time and energy focusing on wishing things were different. Let go of the anger and frustration you feel when you encounter hardships and struggles. Instead, focus on what you can learn from going through difficult times.

3. Resolve to compete with yourself only.

There will always be someone who is more attractive, has more money, and is more successful than you. Stop comparing yourself to them. Looking at them green with envy won’t change your situation.

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The only person you need to compete with is yourself. Set out to improve who you are today compared to who you were yesterday. It’s the only way to truly gauge your progress.

4. Change what you can, accept what you can’t.

Develop a plan to change what is within your control and accept what you cannot change. You may be able to lose 10 pounds; however, your genetic make-up may never allow you to be the world’s best body builder. Focus on what is within your control and give up trying to change the impossible.

5. Develop clear goals.

One of the best ways to feel good about yourself is to experience some success. Establish some clear, obtainable goals for yourself. Then, develop action steps that can help you work toward reaching your goals.

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Consider goals to improve your health, your finances, your social life, or your relationships. Determine what you can do to make things better and develop a timeline for yourself. Once you have a timeline, you’ll increase the chances that you’ll actually make change.

6. Take an honest look at why you don’t feel good about yourself.

If you don’t feel good about yourself, examine the reasons. For example, if you don’t treat people kindly or you steal from your boss, perhaps you shouldn’t feel good about yourself.

Take some time to truly examine the reasons why you don’t feel good. You may be able to help yourself recognize areas of your life where you need to make some changes that can help improve your self-image.

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7. Change your behavior.

Changing your behavior will change the way you feel. Be willing to try something new, regardless of whether you feel like it or not.

For example, if you spend your weekends sitting at home on the couch, it’s unlikely that you’ll suddenly feel good about yourself. However, if you join a new activity or take a class, you may meet new people, gain new skills, and recognize new talents that can help you feel better about yourself.

8. Focus on making others feel good.

One of the best ways to feel good about yourself is to do good deeds for others. Performing acts of kindness takes the focus off you and gives you more reasons to feel good. Volunteer at a nursing home, read to children in a hospital, or walk pets at the animal shelter and you’ll start focusing on what you can contribute to the world rather than wishing you could be like everybody else.

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Amy Morin

A psychotherapist, psychology instructor, keynote speaker, and the author of the bestselling book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do

How to Think Positive Thoughts When Feeling Negative 10 Things To Remember When Everything Goes Wrong 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do 12 Ways To Improve Social Skills And Make You Sociable Anytime 6 Mistakes That Keep You Struggling in Life And Stuck

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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

Perceptual Barrier

The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

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The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

Attitudinal Barrier

Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

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The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

Language Barrier

This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

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Emotional Barrier

Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

Cultural Barrier

Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

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The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

Gender Barrier

Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

Reference

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