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8 Keys To Attracting Healthy Relationships

8 Keys To Attracting Healthy Relationships

We all have relationship problems. That’s a given. Unless you live a solitary life on top of a mountain, you will inevitably need to deal with people. But if you are experiencing relationship problems with many different people in your life, you might need to re-think the kind of people you are allowing into your life. Here are 8 keys to attracting healthy relationships:

1. Know who you are.

How self-aware are you? What kind of behavior do you have in relationships? It’s so easy to blame others for relationship problems, but take a look in the mirror. Are you perfect? Of course not! No one is. So be honest with yourself about what you bring to your relationships. Some is good, some is bad. But be realistic while looking at yourself. Once you are aware of who you are, you can work on your “shortcomings” and bring your best self to every relationship.

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2. Know what you want.

What everyone should want is to be treat with kindness and respect. However, there are many relationships where these qualities don’t even exist. If you’re looking for a romantic partner, write down the qualities of the person you want to attract. If you don’t know what you want, write down what you DON’T want. Then just flip that list around and write the opposite. For example, if you don’t want someone who doesn’t show affection, then you want someone who is affectionate. Even with friends, what kind of people do you want in your life? Do you want to be connected to them 24/7 or do you want your space? Do you want a party friend, or do you want a shy “let’s go for coffee once in a while” friend? Get clear on what you want.

3. Know you’re lovable and worthy.

One of the reasons that people find themselves in bad relationships is because they don’t think they deserve love and respect. If you have low self-esteem, you will literally put out a slow vibration that will attract other people with low self-esteem. And those people might not treat you very well. So you need to start loving yourself as much as possible. Know that you deserve happy, strong, loving, respectful relationships.

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4. Teach people how to treat you.

If someone is treating you badly and you don’t stop them, then they will keep doing it. You need to set your boundaries about what kind of behavior you allow into your life from others. Even if a friend you really like is constantly an hour late whenever you get together, you need to have a talk and tell them that their behavior has a negative effect on you. If they frustrate and exhaust you, don’t put up with it. You can explicitly or implicitly send a message to people about what kind of behavior you will and will not allow in your life.

5. Love your own company.

You need to love yourself enough that you prefer being alone than in a bad relationship. Whether it’s a romantic relationship or a friendship, if you feel drained by being with someone, then it’s probably better to be alone. Even if you are an extrovert, you have to realize that it’s okay to be alone. If you love yourself, you will find being with yourself is more enjoyable than being with people who you don’t treat you well.

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6. Be aware of how you feel in other people’s company.

Do you have a lot of “energy vampires” in your life? Many people do. An energy vampire is someone who is a taker. You give, and they do nothing but take. When you’re with them, you feel bad.  When you leave their presence, you still feel bad — almost like you want to shake off their negative energy. You feel like they suck the life out of you. If you know people like that, then why are you still hanging out with them? Decide right here and right now that you will only surround yourself with people who lift you higher, not drag you down.

7. See people for who they really are.

Sometimes we fool ourselves. We have our “rose-colored glasses” on way too often. We see the “outer” person, but not who they are on the inside. They may have been the funniest, nicest, coolest, most awesome person when you first met them, but maybe that’s just their facade and not their true selves. Look at their behaviors, not their words. Do they treat you kindly? If not, then there is more to them than meets the eye. Be on the lookout for inconsistencies in their personality.

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8. Don’t settle.

Many people think they have to settle or else they won’t have anyone in their lives. But when you settle – either in a romantic relationship or a friendship – you will undoubtedly end up disappointed. I’m not saying that any relationship is perfect, but you need to define your standards. Define them, enforce them, and live up to them! Don’t lower them for anyone.

Having healthy relationships starts with you. You need to decide that you won’t allow anything BUT healthy relationships. Even if your patterns in the past say otherwise, remember that you have the power to change that.

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Carol Morgan

Dr. Carol Morgan is the owner of HerSideHisSide.com, a communication professor, dating & relationship coach, TV personality, speaker, and author.

What to Do If You Find Yourself in an Unhappy Marriage 13 Simple Things Happy Couples Do Every Day Why It’s Okay to Hit the Wall and How to Overcome It Fast How to Beat Your Fear of Rejection and Embrace Failures How to Deal with Insecurity and Jealousy in Relationships

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Last Updated on July 18, 2019

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

Some people just seem to float through life with a relentless sense of happiness – through the toughest of times, they’re unfazed and aloof, stopping to smell the roses and drinking out of a glass half full.

They may not have much to be happy about, but the simplicity behind that fact itself may make them happy.

It’s all a matter of perspective, conscious effort and self-awareness. Listed below are a number of reasons why some people are always happy.

1. They Manage Their Expectations

They’re not crushed when they don’t get what they want – or misled into expecting to get the most out of every situation. They approach every situation pragmatically, hoping for the best but being prepared for the worst.

2. They Don’t Set Unrealistic Standards

Similar to the last point, they don’t live their lives in a constant pursuit towards impossible visions of perfection, only to always find themselves falling short of what they want.

3. They Don’t Take Anything for Granted

Happiness rests with feeling fulfilled – those who fail to stop and appreciate what they have every now and again will never experience true fulfillment.

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4. They’re Not Materialistic

There are arguing viewpoints on whether or not money can really buy happiness; if it can, then we know from experience that we can never be satisfied because there will always be something newer or better that we want. Who has ever had enough money?

5. They Don’t Dwell

They don’t sweat the small things or waste time worrying about things that don’t really matter at the end of the day. They don’t let negative thoughts latch onto them and drain them or distract them. Life’s too short to worry.

6. They Care About Themselves First

They’re independent, care for themselves and understand that they must put their needs first in order to accommodate the needs of others.

They indulge, aim to get what they want, make time for themselves and are extremely self-reliant.

7. They Enjoy the Little Things

They stop to smell the roses. They’re accustomed to find serenity when it’s available, to welcome entertainment or a stimulating discussion with a stranger when it crosses their path. They don’t overlook the small things in life that can be just as important.

8. They Can Adapt

They’re not afraid of change and they work to make the most out of new circumstances, good or bad. They thrive under pressure, are not overwhelmed easily and always embrace a change of pace.

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9. They Experiment

They try new things, experience new flavors and never shy away from something they have yet to experience. They never order twice from the same menu.

10. They Take Their Time

They don’t unnecessarily rush through life. They work on their own schedule to the extent that they can and maneuver through life at their own relaxing pace.

11. They Employ Different Perspectives

They’re not stuck in one perspective; a loss can result in a new opportunity, hitting rock bottom can mean that there’s no where to go but up.

12. They Seek to Learn

Their constant pursuit of knowledge keeps them inspired and interested in life. They cherish information and are on a life-long quest to learn as much as they can.

13. They Always Have a Plan

They don’t find themselves drifting without purpose. When something doesn’t go as planned, they have a plan for every letter in the alphabet to fall back on.

14. They Give Respect to Get It

They are respectful and, in turn, are seen as respectable; the respect they exude earns them the respect they deserve.

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15. They Consider Every Opportunity

They always have their eyes open for a new road, a new avenue worth exploring. They know how to recognize opportune moments and pounce on them to make the most of every situation. Success is inevitable for them.

16. They Always Seek to Improve

Perpetual self-improvement is the key towards their ongoing thirst for success. Whatever it is they do, they take pride in getting better and better, from social interactions to mundane tasks. Their pursuit at being the best eventually materializes.

17. They Don’t Take Life Too Seriously

They’re not ones to get offended easily over-analyze or complicate matters. They laugh at their own faults and misfortunes.

18. They Live in the Moment

They don’t live for tomorrow or dwell on what may have happened yesterday. Every day is a new opportunity, a new chapter. They live in the now, and in doing so, get the most out of every moment.

You can learn how to do so too: How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future

19. They Say Yes

Much more often than they say no. They don’t have to be badgered to go out, don’t shy away from new opportunities or anything that may seem inconvenient.

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20. They’re Self-Aware

Most important, they’re wholly aware of themselves. They self-reflect and are conscious of their states of mind. If somethings bothering them, they fix it.

We’re all susceptible to feeling down every now and again, but we are all equipped with the necessary solutions that just have to be discovered.

Lack of confidence, inability to feel fulfilled, and susceptibility to stress are all matters that can be controlled through the way we handle our lives and perceive our circumstances.

Learn about How Self-Reflection Gives You a Happier and More Successful Life.

Final Thoughts

The main philosophy employed by the happiest includes the idea that life’s simply too short: life’s too short to let things get you down, to take things for granted, to pursue absolute and unrealistic perfection.

For some, employing these characteristics is a second nature – they do it without knowing. For others, a conscious effort must be put forth every now and again. Self-Awareness is key.

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Featured photo credit: Charles Postiaux via unsplash.com

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