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8 Depressing Things That Happen When You Don’t Talk About A Problem, And 3 Uplifting Things That Happen When You Do

8 Depressing Things That Happen When You Don’t Talk About A Problem, And 3 Uplifting Things That Happen When You Do

Recently, I was trying to ignore something that was on my mind and I was miserable. Something quite big. It was on my mind for a reason: because it was important to me. It’s extremely difficult, and painful, to ignore something that’s important to you. So why do we? Fear. We can pretend it’s not happening if we don’t talk about it. We can pretend that we’ll never have to deal with it. Sounds familiar?

This will happen if you don’t talk about it:

1. You can’t concentrate

The more you try to distract yourself, the worse it becomes. The only thing you can concentrate on is the one thing you don’t want to think about.

2. It stays on your mind

Because you know, deep down, that you want to and need to deal with it. Your unconscious mind knows, and it desperately wants the conscious mind to know. If you don’t listen, it’ll keep persisting.

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3. You feel crap

You’re dwelling on it. You’re not taking any action. You’re pretending you don’t know what to do, but you know exactly what to do and aren’t doing it. Is it a massive surprise that you feel crap?

4. You overthink

You analyse everything. Did she mean this, or that? What were they really trying to say? What if he said this, but actually meant this?

5. You overthink overthinking

How meta. You think about why you’re analysing everything. It’s like Inception, but for thinking. Fun, right? Nope.

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6. You torture yourself

You know exactly what to do but you don’t do it. This is, generally, a big cause of unhappiness. It’s like you’re teasing yourself. But not in the fun way.

7. You become stuck

You can’t move forward with your life because you don’t want to. All you really want to do is sort this damn problem out. Do yourself a favour and take some advice from Nike: just do it. What’s the best that could happen?

8. You let someone take your happiness away from you

This is something that I realised only after I’d written most of this article. If you’re problem is with a person, you’re giving them all the power. You allow them to take your happiness away from you. The craziest part of this? They probably have no idea, and they might not even care.

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But when you finally do talk about it, this will happen:

1. You feel like a weight has been lifted

It’s an incredible feeling. It’s a cliché, but it’s a cliché for a reason. You really do feel lighter. It takes a lot of effort carrying something like that around, and to talk about it and therefore deal with it takes the burden away. Just try it.

2. You wonder why you ever waited

What was I waiting for? You realize that you could’ve saved yourself all this anger and frustration and sadness if you just got it over with. Ah. Next time, then…

3. Admitting something is never as bad as you thought it was going to be

Once it’s out there, it’s out there. You can’t take it back. You’ve said it and you’ve meant it. Rather than feeling trapped by your admission, you feel free. You think you’ll box yourself in, but you actually give yourself choice and inspiration and empowerment. It’s not always easy, but it is always worth it.

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If you’re still not sure that talking about it is the right thing, let me leave you with these questions:

  • What are you waiting for? (Be honest. If you say “nothing”, then you’re lying to yourself, because if that were true you would’ve done it already.)
  • What would happen if you just admitted it?
  • If you have had admitted it and have felt that massive weight lifted, what would you do then?

Featured photo credit: young girl and man playing with tin. outdoor shot via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on August 12, 2019

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

Mentally strong people have healthy habits. They manage their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in ways that set them up for success in life.

Take a look at these 13 things that mentally strong people don’t do so that you too can become mentally stronger.

1. They Don’t Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves

Mentally strong people don’t sit around feeling sorry about their circumstances or how others have treated them. Instead, they take responsibility for their role in life and understand that life isn’t always easy or fair.

2. They Don’t Give Away Their Power

They don’t allow others to control them, and they don’t give someone else power over them. They don’t say things like, “My boss makes me feel bad,” because they understand that they are in control over their own emotions and they have a choice in how they respond.

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3. They Don’t Shy Away from Change

Mentally strong people don’t try to avoid change. Instead, they welcome positive change and are willing to be flexible. They understand that change is inevitable and believe in their abilities to adapt.

4. They Don’t Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control

You won’t hear a mentally strong person complaining over lost luggage or traffic jams. Instead, they focus on what they can control in their lives. They recognize that sometimes, the only thing they can control is their attitude.

5. They Don’t Worry About Pleasing Everyone

Mentally strong people recognize that they don’t need to please everyone all the time. They’re not afraid to say no or speak up when necessary. They strive to be kind and fair, but can handle other people being upset if they didn’t make them happy.

6. They Don’t Fear Taking Calculated Risks

They don’t take reckless or foolish risks, but don’t mind taking calculated risks. Mentally strong people spend time weighing the risks and benefits before making a big decision, and they’re fully informed of the potential downsides before they take action.

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7. They Don’t Dwell on the Past

Mentally strong people don’t waste time dwelling on the past and wishing things could be different. They acknowledge their past and can say what they’ve learned from it.

However, they don’t constantly relive bad experiences or fantasize about the glory days. Instead, they live for the present and plan for the future.

8. They Don’t Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over

Mentally strong people accept responsibility for their behavior and learn from their past mistakes. As a result, they don’t keep repeating those mistakes over and over. Instead, they move on and make better decisions in the future.

9. They Don’t Resent Other People’s Success

Mentally strong people can appreciate and celebrate other people’s success in life. They don’t grow jealous or feel cheated when others surpass them. Instead, they recognize that success comes with hard work, and they are willing to work hard for their own chance at success.

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10. They Don’t Give Up After the First Failure

Mentally strong people don’t view failure as a reason to give up. Instead, they use failure as an opportunity to grow and improve. They are willing to keep trying until they get it right.

11. They Don’t Fear Alone Time

Mentally strong people can tolerate being alone and they don’t fear silence. They aren’t afraid to be alone with their thoughts and they can use downtime to be productive.

They enjoy their own company and aren’t dependent on others for companionship and entertainment all the time but instead can be happy alone.

12. They Don’t Feel the World Owes Them Anything

Mentally strong people don’t feel entitled to things in life. They weren’t born with a mentality that others would take care of them or that the world must give them something. Instead, they look for opportunities based on their own merits.

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13. They Don’t Expect Immediate Results

Whether they are working on improving their health or getting a new business off the ground, mentally strong people don’t expect immediate results. Instead, they apply their skills and time to the best of their ability and understand that real change takes time.

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Featured photo credit: Candice Picard via unsplash.com

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