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8 Benefits Of Identifying Your Values

8 Benefits Of Identifying Your Values

What does the word value mean to you? Can you define it?

Values are what you believe matter most in life. Everyone’s values are different. Some common values are love, success, friendship, intelligence, and respect.

As children, our parents and teachers pass values on to us and we live our lives based on what they’ve taught us is important, be that kindness, friendship, listening, etc. But as adults we must determine what is of most value to us on our own. Some of the values from childhood may stay the same, but you may realize that others have become increasingly more important as you have grown and changed. Tolerance, gratitude, and family, for example, may be of huge significance to you now.

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So, without further ado, here are 8 benefits of identifying your values.

1. Values help you find your purpose.

Have you already figured out the purpose of life? If not, as is the case for most of us, values can help answer the all-encompassing question, “What is my purpose in life?” You can’t expect to know what you want out of life if you don’t know what is important in life. Knowing what you value gets you that much closer to an answer. Think about it.

2. Values help you react in difficult situations.

Values are guiding principles for behavior. They can help ensure you behave in a way that matches who you want to be at your core. People often react quickly in situations, especially difficult ones, and they don’t always take the time to think about what they are doing before they do it. You can use your values to reflect on situations, too, to decide, for example, if you need to apologize for something. What a helpful little tool!

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3. Values help you make decisions.

When you come across the need to make a decision, your values can help you make the right call. Sometimes emotions get in the way of good decision making, but if you stop to ask yourself, “What would someone who values X do in this situation?” then you just might be able to come to a more clearheaded, less emotionally-affected decision.

4. Values help clear out clutter.

Do you ever want to eliminate excess baggage from your life? Identifying your values will help you rule out the things you really do not want, need or believe are important. People are consumed with so much these days. Weed the time- and energy-wasting things out of your life!

5. Values help you choose the right career.

All career paths come with pros and cons, we know that. But when you know what matters most to you, you can be sure you are choosing the right career path. If you value connection, interaction, and friendship, for example, then it’s possible a work-at-home job may not be a good fit for you. On the other hand, if you value travel, wealth, and conversation, then maybe a traveling sales job is perfect for you. Sometimes knowing your values can even help you determine if a promotion is the best idea for you. Who knew saying no to a promotion could be a good idea?

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6. Values help you develop a sense of self.

Knowing your values means you can develop strong opinions about important subjects. You don’t want to just believe what your parents believed. You can’t just say you believe you what your friends believe. You need to figure out what you truly believe, and then you can share your honest self with others. This is important!

7. Values help increase your confidence.

Identifying your values increases your level of confidence because it brings about a sense of stability and safety to your life. When you know what you want, it doesn’t matter what other people want. When you know what is important to you, it doesn’t matter what is important to other people. This will naturally bring a sense of confidence to your life.

8. Values help your overall happiness level.

If you combine the results from benefits one though seven, then you have likely improved your life. You’ve developed a purpose, reacted better in difficult situations, made good decisions, found the right career, developed opinions, and increased your confidence. It’s fair to say you might just feel a little happier!

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If you’ve never identified your values before, here’s a quick how-to guide to get you going on your process.

Make a big list of values (love, achievement, trust, compassion, wealth, honor, appreciation, etc.) or use a page like this. You can set a timer if you want, but it’s not necessary. As you read through, circle the ones that pop out at you—the ones that you feel are part of you. You can mark as many as you’d like at the start, but after you have your initial list, try to cross off the ones that don’t seem quite as important to you. Aim to get the list down to 10 or 15 values. Put these in order of importance if you can. Ta-da! Now you have your Top 10 (or 15) values. Don’t worry, though, values are not static. They change and evolve with us as we grow.

Here are my ever-evolving Top 10 values as of February 2014: love, family, personal development, integrity, honesty, acceptance, gratitude, laughter, kindness, and education.

What are yours?

Featured photo credit: al shep via flickr.com

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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