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8 Beliefs That Are Keeping You From Happiness

8 Beliefs That Are Keeping You From Happiness

Why do some people seem so happy and healthy, while others are so miserable? There are many reasons why people are happier than others, but one fundamental truth about happiness is that the power to change your life and create happiness resides within you. Happy people consciously decide to have a positive mentality. They see opportunities when others see closed doors and flow with (not against) the natural groove of life.

If you meet your basic physical needs of food, shelter, clothing and comfort, but still find you are not happy, chances are that some of your core beliefs and habits are limiting you from living a full life. Change the following core beliefs that are keeping you from happiness today to lead a more fulfilling, happy life.

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1. Belief that life is fair

Life is not always fair, nor is it a joyride every single day. There will be days when you feel like the whole weight of the world is on your shoulders. Your heart will be broken and weighed down by injustices in the world. These days will suck, but that is life. Stop wasting too much time and energy wishing that everything was fair in the world. Instead, seek out things you can do to make life better. There will always be something you can do to make life that much fair. The joy you get from improving the quality of your own life and that of others is worth every effort.

2. Belief that playing it safe keeps you from getting hurt

Life is about taking risks and learning from the positive and negative outcomes of risks. Many people are quick to quantify the risks involved in trying something new or venturing out in a different direction. These same people, however, are far less adept at analyzing the risks of staying the course. While staying the course and playing it safe can keep you from hurt in the short term, the cost of complacency is comparably greater in the long run. Happy people adopt a little more blind faith in life, which boosts their long term personal development and happiness.

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3. Belief that you are in control of everything

Life is full of surprises. No matter how obsessively we plan and prepare, things sometimes play out differently than we want or expect them to. Random events occur all the time for all sorts of reasons and meticulous plans can get disrupted at the last minute. While proper planning and risk management is important for your success and happiness, being in control of everything is just an illusion that puts you on edge and drains energy and happiness out of you. The sooner you realize this truth, the more prepared you will be to deal with all that life deals you, and the happier you will become.

4. Belief that the future is bleak

The glass can either be half full or half empty, depending on how you look at it. The belief that the future is bleak is usually a matter of perspective driven by such factors as fear, worry, lack of faith and childhood programming. People who focus more on the negative see only a bleak future for themselves and others and are less happy than people who look on the brighter side of things. Of course, blind optimism can be contrived and irresponsible, but blatant pessimism is worse. Think more positively and see the good things around you to lead a more balanced, happy life.

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5. Belief that others are better off than you

The belief that others are better off than you is a fallacy. As human beings, we all have equal capacity to experience joy, pain, need and comfort. We all grow and advance in life at our own pace, depending on various factors like hard work, opportunity and resources. While some people might be stronger, more gifted and more beautiful than you, they are not necessarily better off than you. If you can figure out what you really want in life and then go for it, you too can lead a rewarding and happy life that others envy. Just see through the need for other people’s approval and you will be fine.

6. Belief that people are obligated to love you a specific way

Not everybody will love or support you the way you want them to, but that’s okay. People are not obligated to love you in a specific way just as you are not obligated to love others in a certain way. We all have the ability to love, but our capacity to express this love is unique. Just be grateful that someone actually loves you and wishes the best for you, even though you might feel like they are not compassionate or supportive enough. Stop demanding that people love you how you think they should and you will truly be a much happier person.

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7. Belief that suffering is bad

Suffering gets a bad rap all the time. But, if you scrap the surface you will realize that suffering has a silver lining that never gets the credit it deserves. Suffering stirs change and builds resilience and wisdom. It is almost always a stepping stone to something better. For example, a failed relationship is the gateway to a successful one and an illness the right motivation to re-examine your life and adopt a healthier lifestyle. If you face suffering with the right mindset and take appropriate steps to address its cause, you can only get stronger, wiser and happier in life.

8. Belief that others are the reason for your unhappiness

One of the most overlooked truths of life is that you are responsible for your own happiness. Nothing defines who you are and how you feel unless you let it. People can hate on you as much as their little cold hearts desire, but that only highlights deep-seated insecurities within them‒which have nothing to do with you. People don’t decide who you are. You are only whomever you decide you are. Other’s actions or inaction will only hurt your ego and affect your happiness if you let it. Happiness is a choice. Choose to be happy from today regardless of what everybody else says or does!

More by this author

David K. William

David is a publisher and entrepreneur. He is also the founding editor of Web Writer Spotlight.

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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