Advertising
Advertising

7 Ways To Find Your New True Love This Year

7 Ways To Find Your New True Love This Year

Some people have their heart broken so many times, their logical side wants to cut off everyone and never try again. Putting your heart on the line gets harder and harder with each new person. Falling in love, however, inspires passion, creativity, and comfort that you can’t give up on. Don’t let the emotional trauma and financial loss of past breakups ruin your search for love; instead follow these seven easy steps to find new love this year:

1. Forgive and Forget the Past

The first step to moving forward is looking forward. If you’re focusing your energy on the past, you’ll never get anywhere. Instead, focus on the things you can do now that will affect your future. Nothing’s going to change by focusing on arguments you had with your ex. It doesn’t matter who was right or wrong, and, if resolution were possible, you’d still be together. Forgive your ex and move on; not for them, but to enable you to find new love.

Advertising

Love Message Lifehack Versability

    This message will self destruct if not properly stored…

    2 . Love Yourself

    Once you’ve forgiven yourself and let go of the past, it’s time to discover how to be comfortable in your own skin. We all have flaws and that’s o.k.  Maybe you’re not the smartest, strongest, funniest, or most physically appealing person – whatever your shortcomings are, it doesn’t mean you’re never going to find someone who will love you for who you are instead of loathing you for what you’re not.  Stand up tall and be proud of who you are, whomever that may be; that way, when you find new love, you’ll recognize each other.

    3. Decide What You Want

    Now that you’re comfortable with yourself, spend a little time doing you and discovering what it is you truly want. When you were a kid, you didn’t know what a government, economy, money, job, or any of that other stuff was; it was just you and your dreams. As you got older, you were taught how to fit into society. Somewhere in between your dreams and the reality you fit into is what truly makes you happy, and that’s where you’ll find new love that’s worthy of your time, effort, and resources.

    Advertising

    It’s important that you and your partner enjoy and support the same things. This doesn’t mean that sharing a love for hip-hop is an automatic reason to share a bond, but it does mean that if you enjoy an active lifestyle, a couch potato probably isn’t the best match for you. You’ll know when you find new love that’s real when you support each other.

    Kitten love lifehack Versability
      ..

      4 . Check Your Fears at the Door

      I’ve heard countless people say they don’t open themselves up because they don’t want to get their heart broken again. It’s easy to be cynical about matters of the heart: people are liars, selfish, and only like you because they want something. If you’re afraid of being hurt, you’re going to be hurt. You won’t be comfortable and you won’t act like the real you.

      Advertising

      Confidence is essential to finding true love, so stop being afraid. Break out of your comfort zone and open yourself up to trying new things with someone new. Talk about yourself without fear of judgment; if the person you’re with judges you, they weren’t the right person, and it’s better you find out sooner than later.

      5. Stop Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

      You can most definitely meet someone at a bar, but it’s a crap shoot; people are amped up, drunk (and likely on other substances) in the club, and there’s a good chance the person isn’t really who they say they are. If you’re doing you, you’re already in the ideal places to meet someone who shares similar interests. Instead of sitting around at home all day, go out and enjoy life. You’ll bump into people doing the same thing and can form an immediate connection.

      Advertising

      This morning wood was carved to show you how I feel...

        This morning wood was carved to show you how I feel…

        6. Keep Calm, and Go Online

        Don’t limit your search for love.  Aside from going out and talking to people, you can also search online. Dating sites and social media sites are filled with people looking for a connection. Paid dating sites often have a better chance of success as the payment filters out many people who aren’t serious about dating, but remember that internet people are still people like everyone else, so treat them as such, and use your instincts.

        Dating sites aren’t the only places to find love online; people have connected and hooked up on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, in video games, on YouTube, and all over the internet. Human connection is something we all need, so anywhere there are people, there’s always someone seeking a connection.

        7. Patience Is a Virtue

        Overnight success is a myth, even in love. Although you can successfully make a connection (and push it to the point of fornication) within a night, don’t expect the first person you meet to be “the one.” You may get lucky on your first swing, but don’t give up. Just because you’re looking for true love doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the journey; dating is supposed to be fun, not a chore.

        True love can be found anywhere; as long as you’re out there searching, you’re doing the right thing. Let go of your inhibitions and put yourself out there. Smile, laugh, and enjoy life with the people around you – sooner or later, you’re going to find someone who you truly love and who truly loves you. Remember, there’s someone out there for everyone and you won’t find them if you don’t try. If you’re still unsure, hit me up on Twitter – I’m more than happy to lend a hand in matters of the heart!

        More by this author

        7 Ways To Make Exercise Fun For Everyone Say Goodbye to a Skinny Body: How to Gain Weight Fast 24 Easy Ways To Make Money On The Internet What 500 Calories Really Looks Like in Different Foods 20 Awesome Screensavers that Make your Desktop Delightful

        Trending in Communication

        1 When Should You Trust Your Gut and How? 2 What Is Life About? 9 Ways to Find Your Meaning in Life 3 7 Things To Remember When You Feel Broken Inside 4 Focus On Yourself, Because Most Of The Time No One Really Cares 5 10 Principles for Success to Live Your Dream Life

        Read Next

        Advertising
        Advertising
        Advertising

        Last Updated on August 12, 2020

        When Should You Trust Your Gut and How?

        When Should You Trust Your Gut and How?

        Learning how to trust your gut, otherwise known as your intuition, can keep you safe. Your gut can guide you and help you build your confidence and resilience. My own gut instinct has saved me on more than one occasion. It has also guided me into making sound career choices and other exciting, big decisions. I’m also aware of the times when I’ve gone against my instincts and really regretted it later, wondering why I didn’t tune in to that valuable internal voice that we all have within us.

        In this article, we’re going to explore why and how you should listen to your gut, as well as some concrete tips on how to make sure you’re making the most out of your gut instincts.

        How to Listen to Your Gut

        The key when making any big decision is to always take a minute to listen well to yourself and your inner compass. If you hear your actual voice saying yes while inside you’re silently screaming no, my advice is to ask for some time to think, or simply take a breath and pause before the yes or no escapes your mouth.

        Use that moment to breathe, check in with yourself, and give the answer that feels congruent with who you are and what you want, not the one that always involves following the herd. Trusting your gut means having the courage to not simply go with the majority. It can be about holding your own. Here’s how to hone that skill for yourself and reap the rewards.

        1. Tune Into Your Body

        Your body gives you clues when you’re faced with a big decision. There are many visible and obvious symptoms that we feel in uncomfortable situations. Our body’s reaction is often something that we might try to hide, for example, blushing, being lost for words, or shaking. There are things we might do to try and hide that physical reaction, whether it’s wearing makeup, having a glass of wine or coffee to perk us up a bit, or learning to control our nerves.

        However, paying attention to your body when you experience these feelings of anxiety can teach you so much and help you to make sound choices. Some people will experience an actual “gut” feeling of stomach ache or indigestion in an uncomfortable situation.

        Ask yourself what’s really going on here, and explore what is happening behind your body’s response to the situation. What can your reaction or instinct teach you? Understanding that can be a clue and can help you either learn something about yourself, the situation, or other people. The answers are often within us.

        Advertising

        Sometimes we’ll get this “something’s not right here” feeling and cannot quite put our finger on it or explain it. That can still be incredibly useful and really guide us away from danger, even if we don’t know the reason.

        In his book, Blink, Malcolm Gladwell also argues this, making the point that sometimes our subconscious is better at processing the answer we need, and that we don’t necessarily need to take time to collect hours and hours of information to come to a reliable conclusion[1].

        2. Ensure Your Head Is Clear Before Making a Decision

        Energy, sleep, and good nutrition are so vital to nourishing our minds, as well as our bodies. There are times when your instinct could lead you astray, and one of these is when you are hungry, “hangry” (angry because you’re hungry!), tired, or anxious. If this is the case–and it may sound obvious–do consider sleeping or eating on it before making an important choice.

        There is, in fact, a connection between our gut and our brain[2], which is where terms like “butterflies in the stomach” and “gut-wrenching” originate from. Stress and emotions can cause physical feelings, and ignoring them might do more harm than good.

        3. Don’t Be Afraid to Say What You Think and Feel

        Listening to your gut and really paying attention to it might involve standing up and being counted, calling something out, or taking a stand. As someone who works for myself, I’ve become used to following the less-travelled road, and that’s given me the chance to strike out on my own in other ways, too.

        As they tell you in the planes, “put your own oxygen mask on first,” and part of that self-reliance is knowing what you really want and like and what is safe and good for you, including what resonates with your personal and business values. Making good decisions with this in mind means making choices that do not go against your own beliefs, even when it may mean taking a stand. This is part of trusting yourself and trusting your instincts.

        This does not always mean taking the “safe” option, although keeping ourselves safe is an important part of the process. This is how we learn and grow, by following our own inner compass. When you do take risks, go outside of your comfort zone, or choose the less popular option, spending some time researching the facts can stand us in good stead, too.

        Advertising

        4. Do Your Research If Something Feels Off

        As well as listening to our instincts, we can also back up the evidence for our chosen course of action before taking the leap. I had a gut feeling about the need for a learning and development network when I noticed my clients getting stuck with the same problems. I set up and now run such a network, but instead of simply going for it, without evidence, I followed up on my instinct with research.

        Having confidence in your gut instinct through these kinds of tests can help to minimize your risks, as well as spur you on. It will encourage you to trust your gut again in the future and trust that you are an expert with foresight and experience. You are!

        5. Challenge Your Assumptions

        When you look at the assumptions your making, this could be the clue to mistakes you are making.

        In order to check that our instincts are wise, we need to ask ourselves what blanks we might be filling in, either consciously or unconsciously. This is true not just when it comes to our own decision-making. It’s also true when we are listening to someone explain a problem or situation, and we’re about to jump in and give some advice. If we can learn to be aware of our own assumptions, we can become better listeners and better decision makers, too.

        A useful tool to become more aware of your assumptions before making a final decision is simply to ask yourself, “What assumptions am I making about this situation or person?”

        6. Educate Yourself on Unconscious Bias

        Unconscious bias is something we all have, and it can trip us up big time!

        There is a vital caveat to bear in mind when wondering about whether you can trust your gut and the feelings your body gives you, and that’s having an awareness of your unconscious bias. Understanding your own bias–which is hard to do because it literally does happen in our subconscious–can help you to make stronger, better, decisions instead of re-confirming your view of the world over and over again.

        Advertising

        Bias exists, and it’s part of the human condition. All of us have it, and it colors our decisions and can impact on our performance without us realizing.

        Unconscious bias happens at a subconscious level in our brains. Our subconscious brain processes information so much faster than our conscious brain. Quick decisions we make in our subconscious are based on both our societal conditioning and how our families raised us.

        Our brains process hundreds of thousands of pieces of information daily. We unconsciously categorize and format that information into patterns that feel familiar to us. Aspects such as gender, disability, class, sexuality, body shape and size, ethnicity, and what someone does for a job can all quickly influence decisions we make about people and the relationships we choose to form. Our unconscious bias can be very subtle and go unnoticed..

        We naturally tend to gravitate towards people similar to ourselves, favoring people who we see as belonging to the same “group” as us. Being able to make a quick decision about whether someone is part of your group and distinguish friend from foe was what helped early humans to survive. Conversely, we don’t automatically favor people who we don’t immediately relate to or easily connect with.

        The downside of that human instinct to seek out similar people is the potential for prejudice, which seems to be hard-wired into human cognition, no matter how open-minded we believe ourselves to be. And these stereotypes we create can be wrong. If we only spend our time with and employ people similar to ourselves, it can create prejudices, as well as stifle fresh thinking and innovation.

        We may feel more natural or comfortable working with other people who share our own background and/or opinions than collaborating with people who don’t look, talk, or think like us. However, diversity is not just morally right; having a mix of different people and perspectives that can be genuinely heard is also a valuable way to counter groupthink. Diversity stretches us to think more critically and creatively.

        7. Trust Yourself

        It is possible to learn how to truly trust yourself[3]. Like any talent or skill, practicing trusting your gut is the best way to get really good at it. When people talk about having great intuition or being good decision-makers, it’s because they’ve worked at honing those skills, made mistakes, learned from them, and tried again.

        Advertising

        Looking back at decisions you’ve made, what you did, what the outcome was, and what you’ve learned can help you become a stronger decision maker and develop solid self-trust and resilience. Making a mistake does not mean you are not great at decision-making; it’s a chance to grow and learn, and the only mistake is to ignore the lesson in that experience.

        If you are in the habit of asking others for their input, then the trick here is to choose your inner circle wisely. Having a sounding board of people who have your best interests at heart is a valuable asset, and, combined with your own excellent instincts, can make you a champion decision maker.

        The Bottom Line

        The above tips are all actionable and easy to start immediately. It’s simply about switching your thinking around, slowing down, and taking great care of this amazing machine that is your body and mind!

        Learning how to trust your gut is one of the most fundamental ways to make decisions that will help you lead the life you want and need. Tune into what your body is telling you and start making good decisions today.

        More Tips on How to Trust Your Gut

        Featured photo credit: Acy Varlan via unsplash.com

        Reference

        [1] Science of People: Learn to Trust Your Gut Instincts: The Science Behind Thin-slicing
        [2] Harvard Health Publishing: The gut-brain connection
        [3] Psych Central: 3 Ways to Develop Self-Trust

        Read Next