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7 Ways To Find Your New True Love This Year

7 Ways To Find Your New True Love This Year

Some people have their heart broken so many times, their logical side wants to cut off everyone and never try again. Putting your heart on the line gets harder and harder with each new person. Falling in love, however, inspires passion, creativity, and comfort that you can’t give up on. Don’t let the emotional trauma and financial loss of past breakups ruin your search for love; instead follow these seven easy steps to find new love this year:

1. Forgive and Forget the Past

The first step to moving forward is looking forward. If you’re focusing your energy on the past, you’ll never get anywhere. Instead, focus on the things you can do now that will affect your future. Nothing’s going to change by focusing on arguments you had with your ex. It doesn’t matter who was right or wrong, and, if resolution were possible, you’d still be together. Forgive your ex and move on; not for them, but to enable you to find new love.

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Love Message Lifehack Versability

    This message will self destruct if not properly stored…

    2 . Love Yourself

    Once you’ve forgiven yourself and let go of the past, it’s time to discover how to be comfortable in your own skin. We all have flaws and that’s o.k.  Maybe you’re not the smartest, strongest, funniest, or most physically appealing person – whatever your shortcomings are, it doesn’t mean you’re never going to find someone who will love you for who you are instead of loathing you for what you’re not.  Stand up tall and be proud of who you are, whomever that may be; that way, when you find new love, you’ll recognize each other.

    3. Decide What You Want

    Now that you’re comfortable with yourself, spend a little time doing you and discovering what it is you truly want. When you were a kid, you didn’t know what a government, economy, money, job, or any of that other stuff was; it was just you and your dreams. As you got older, you were taught how to fit into society. Somewhere in between your dreams and the reality you fit into is what truly makes you happy, and that’s where you’ll find new love that’s worthy of your time, effort, and resources.

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    It’s important that you and your partner enjoy and support the same things. This doesn’t mean that sharing a love for hip-hop is an automatic reason to share a bond, but it does mean that if you enjoy an active lifestyle, a couch potato probably isn’t the best match for you. You’ll know when you find new love that’s real when you support each other.

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      4 . Check Your Fears at the Door

      I’ve heard countless people say they don’t open themselves up because they don’t want to get their heart broken again. It’s easy to be cynical about matters of the heart: people are liars, selfish, and only like you because they want something. If you’re afraid of being hurt, you’re going to be hurt. You won’t be comfortable and you won’t act like the real you.

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      Confidence is essential to finding true love, so stop being afraid. Break out of your comfort zone and open yourself up to trying new things with someone new. Talk about yourself without fear of judgment; if the person you’re with judges you, they weren’t the right person, and it’s better you find out sooner than later.

      5. Stop Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

      You can most definitely meet someone at a bar, but it’s a crap shoot; people are amped up, drunk (and likely on other substances) in the club, and there’s a good chance the person isn’t really who they say they are. If you’re doing you, you’re already in the ideal places to meet someone who shares similar interests. Instead of sitting around at home all day, go out and enjoy life. You’ll bump into people doing the same thing and can form an immediate connection.

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      This morning wood was carved to show you how I feel...

        This morning wood was carved to show you how I feel…

        6. Keep Calm, and Go Online

        Don’t limit your search for love.  Aside from going out and talking to people, you can also search online. Dating sites and social media sites are filled with people looking for a connection. Paid dating sites often have a better chance of success as the payment filters out many people who aren’t serious about dating, but remember that internet people are still people like everyone else, so treat them as such, and use your instincts.

        Dating sites aren’t the only places to find love online; people have connected and hooked up on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, in video games, on YouTube, and all over the internet. Human connection is something we all need, so anywhere there are people, there’s always someone seeking a connection.

        7. Patience Is a Virtue

        Overnight success is a myth, even in love. Although you can successfully make a connection (and push it to the point of fornication) within a night, don’t expect the first person you meet to be “the one.” You may get lucky on your first swing, but don’t give up. Just because you’re looking for true love doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the journey; dating is supposed to be fun, not a chore.

        True love can be found anywhere; as long as you’re out there searching, you’re doing the right thing. Let go of your inhibitions and put yourself out there. Smile, laugh, and enjoy life with the people around you – sooner or later, you’re going to find someone who you truly love and who truly loves you. Remember, there’s someone out there for everyone and you won’t find them if you don’t try. If you’re still unsure, hit me up on Twitter – I’m more than happy to lend a hand in matters of the heart!

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        Last Updated on January 12, 2021

        Why We Say What We Won’t Do (but Still Say It Anyway)

        Why We Say What We Won’t Do (but Still Say It Anyway)

        Every day we say a lot about what we want and will do.

        “I want to pet a cat.”

        “I want to buy a house for my parents.”

        “I don’t want to be single anymore.”

        “I will love you no matter what.”

        “I will work harder in the future.”

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          It’s easy to make plans for the future. And we make resolutions all the time. Consider that a full 80% of resolutions fail by the second week of February.[1] And that a vast majority of relationships (plus many marriages) end as well with break-ups or divorce. The best intentions and the best-laid plans generally speaking end in failure.

          No one intended to lie

          In general, people make these kinds of promises or resolutions with the best intentions. They don’t want to fail; if anything, they want desperately to be right, to improve themselves, and to make their friends and family happy. So even if a resolution doesn’t work out, when they utter them, it’s far from a lie.

            People often speak without thinking. They say what comes to mind, but without really thinking it through. And what usually comes to mind is wishful thinking – the ideal result, not what’s possible and practical. It’s tempting to fantasize about a beautiful and perfect future: a good romantic relationship, to have the approval and respect of your parents, and to have a successful career.

            But how to get what you want is not always clear to you in the moment you utter it. It’s hard to see beyond just the easy, idealized image. The challenges you may come across, the disappointments and sadness you may face – none of that is anywhere to be seen in a daydreaming mind.

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            Wishful thinking often end in crushing disappointment

            The problem is this. Wishful thinking and fantasies will only end in disappointment if you don’t follow through. You disappoint your friends, your family, your boss, and – most importantly – yourself. This can really take a toll on your own psyche and sense of self-worth.

                  At a personal level, you’ll have so many unfulfilled dreams and goals. This is an incredibly common situation for people everywhere. As a teenager, you might have dreamed of what your life would be like as an adult: happily married and with a successful and high-earning career by the time you’re 25. But these are two seriously challenging goals that take planning and effort. Many people find themselves alone and in a dead-end job – rather than a career – wondering where they went wrong.

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                      On an interpersonal level, making empty promises is hurtful and damaging to relationships. Friendship and healthy family relationships are built on trust. People who want to be your friend take you at your word and expect you to follow through. If you tell your friends that you’ll “be there for them,” but never pick up the phone, they will be hurt and no longer want to hang out. The same is true for family or even professional relationships. You might find it tempting to tell your boss that you’ll finish a major project “by the end of the week,” without considering whether this is plausible. If you are unable to complete the task in the timeframe that you set, it’s not easy to regain your boss’s trust.

                      Keep what you want to yourself

                      It’s vital to be clear about what you want. Notice when people around you are prone to saying “I want ___” and “I don’t want ____.”

                      Kids are very prone to saying all their wants out loud, partly because they don’t have the independence and resources to get it themselves. This is why children and young people are often vague about what they want in the future. They have lots of wants without a concrete plan on how to get them.

                      This is one of the challenges of being an adult. As you gain the practical ability to provide for yourself, and as you learn from your mistakes, it’s more and more important to be clear about how you plan to get what you want.

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                        Practice visualizing plans to attain your goals. For example, you might want a pet – everyone shares pictures of their dogs and cats on Instagram! But before you go out to adopt one at the shelter, make sure you visualize all the things you have to do to take care of your pet. Pet-ownership involves: cleaning up after it, house-training it, taking it to the vet, walking it, buying it food, and making sure that it gets plenty of stimulation and exercise.

                        If you want or need a car, think about how much you need to save to purchase the car, the cleaning and maintenance costs, how to pay for regular car insurance, parking costs, et cetera.

                          If you really want something, don’t just say it. Plan for it and do it. Create conditions that make what you want inevitable. Do small things consistently and make it a habit. You’ll amaze yourself and your friends if you constantly work on attaining your goals. Read more about how to follow through your goals here: Why I Can Be the Only 8% of People Who Reach the Goal Every Single Time

                          It’s easy to make or break promises. Set yourself apart from others by being reliable, deliberate, and thoughtful. Match your intentions with planning and action, and you’ll find that you’re happier with yourself and that your relationships are enriched.

                          Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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