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7 Ways To Feel Miserable and Hate Yourself

7 Ways To Feel Miserable and Hate Yourself

Building a fulfilling life of bliss and satisfaction is incredibly difficult and requires a lot of self-reflection, soul-searching, and hard work. Going through the motions without a care in the world, however, is quite simple. Below are 7 easy ways to feel miserable. Please read this as an exercise in reverse psychology (or the worst self-help article ever written).

1. Stress out about everything.

If you want to feel miserable, I encourage you to begin by stressing out everything that is beyond your control.

Long line at the grocery store? Argh!
Stuck in a traffic jam on the way to work? Buh!
Step in dog poop? Crap! (hee hee, see what I did there?)
Cruddy cell-phone signal and unable to check your Facebook for a whole 5 minutes? Drats!

Agonizing about minor inconveniences always makes you feel better, right?

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“People won’t have time for you if you are always angry or complaining.” – Stephen Hawking

2. Pass the buck.

You would LOVE to pursue a new hobby or interest, but you’re just too stressed out.
You can’t lose weight, because your metabolism is too slow (or you have “bad genes”).
You can’t find the time to exercise, because you’re WAY too busy (playing Candy Crush).

The more excuses you make (and the more public you make them), the better you will feel about yourself. Your friends would never think you are a self-loathing eternal complainer who can’t accept responsibility for anything.

“He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” – Benjamin Franklin

3. Blindly follow conventional wisdom.

If everyone else is doing it, obviously it must be the only way to do things, so you might as well follow the other sheep off a cliff. Besides, being different is way too difficult and if you try something original or innovative that is more true to your authentic self, people might look at you funny.

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.” – Mark Twain

4. Hang out with negative people.

Hey, they are charismatic and funny! Never mind the fact that they complain about everything, make fun of people, and are toxic influences on your life. Their life is so difficult that they have every right to feel the way they do. What would they do without you? And besides, finding more positive people to hang out with would be too inconvenient.

“You cannot expect to live a positive life if you hang with negative people.” – Joel Osteen

5. Live in the past.

Never mind the fact that every new day is another opportunity to improve your situation in life. If you want to feel miserable, your best bet is to obsess with past mistakes even though you can’t do anything about it now. Dropping your baggage would allow you to move on with your life, but that would require developing the inner-strength you need to forgive yourself, and who has the time or energy for that?

“Never look back unless you are planning to go that way.” – Henry David Thoreau

6. Never confront problems in your relationships.

Even though your romantic partner keeps asking you what’s wrong, it’s much easier to dodge the issue. What could possibly go wrong? It’s not like you could risk turning an uncomfortable (but brief) argument into a trust-damaging (and long-lasting) squabble or anything.

“I think confrontation is healthy, because it clears the air very quickly.” – Bill Parcells

7. Throw in the towel.

You worked out for a whole two weeks and didn’t lose a single pound. Of course, you didn’t even bother including healthier natural foods in your meal plan in place of all that processed junk you’re eating, but who cares about details? Clearly you have put a lot of thought and dedication into this, so this exercise thing must not be for you. Oh, well. Might as well go home and eat a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, because that definitely won’t make you feel miserable about yourself.

“Never give up. You only get one life. Go for it!” – Richard E. Grant

More by this author

Daniel Wallen

Freelance Writer

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The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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