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7 Ways To Feel Miserable and Hate Yourself

7 Ways To Feel Miserable and Hate Yourself

Building a fulfilling life of bliss and satisfaction is incredibly difficult and requires a lot of self-reflection, soul-searching, and hard work. Going through the motions without a care in the world, however, is quite simple. Below are 7 easy ways to feel miserable. Please read this as an exercise in reverse psychology (or the worst self-help article ever written).

1. Stress out about everything.

If you want to feel miserable, I encourage you to begin by stressing out everything that is beyond your control.

Long line at the grocery store? Argh!
Stuck in a traffic jam on the way to work? Buh!
Step in dog poop? Crap! (hee hee, see what I did there?)
Cruddy cell-phone signal and unable to check your Facebook for a whole 5 minutes? Drats!

Agonizing about minor inconveniences always makes you feel better, right?

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“People won’t have time for you if you are always angry or complaining.” – Stephen Hawking

2. Pass the buck.

You would LOVE to pursue a new hobby or interest, but you’re just too stressed out.
You can’t lose weight, because your metabolism is too slow (or you have “bad genes”).
You can’t find the time to exercise, because you’re WAY too busy (playing Candy Crush).

The more excuses you make (and the more public you make them), the better you will feel about yourself. Your friends would never think you are a self-loathing eternal complainer who can’t accept responsibility for anything.

“He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” – Benjamin Franklin

3. Blindly follow conventional wisdom.

If everyone else is doing it, obviously it must be the only way to do things, so you might as well follow the other sheep off a cliff. Besides, being different is way too difficult and if you try something original or innovative that is more true to your authentic self, people might look at you funny.

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.” – Mark Twain

4. Hang out with negative people.

Hey, they are charismatic and funny! Never mind the fact that they complain about everything, make fun of people, and are toxic influences on your life. Their life is so difficult that they have every right to feel the way they do. What would they do without you? And besides, finding more positive people to hang out with would be too inconvenient.

“You cannot expect to live a positive life if you hang with negative people.” – Joel Osteen

5. Live in the past.

Never mind the fact that every new day is another opportunity to improve your situation in life. If you want to feel miserable, your best bet is to obsess with past mistakes even though you can’t do anything about it now. Dropping your baggage would allow you to move on with your life, but that would require developing the inner-strength you need to forgive yourself, and who has the time or energy for that?

“Never look back unless you are planning to go that way.” – Henry David Thoreau

6. Never confront problems in your relationships.

Even though your romantic partner keeps asking you what’s wrong, it’s much easier to dodge the issue. What could possibly go wrong? It’s not like you could risk turning an uncomfortable (but brief) argument into a trust-damaging (and long-lasting) squabble or anything.

“I think confrontation is healthy, because it clears the air very quickly.” – Bill Parcells

7. Throw in the towel.

You worked out for a whole two weeks and didn’t lose a single pound. Of course, you didn’t even bother including healthier natural foods in your meal plan in place of all that processed junk you’re eating, but who cares about details? Clearly you have put a lot of thought and dedication into this, so this exercise thing must not be for you. Oh, well. Might as well go home and eat a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, because that definitely won’t make you feel miserable about yourself.

“Never give up. You only get one life. Go for it!” – Richard E. Grant

More by this author

Daniel Wallen

Daniel is a writer who focuses on blogging about happiness and motivation at Lifehack.

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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

Perceptual Barrier

The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

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The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

Attitudinal Barrier

Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

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The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

Language Barrier

This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

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Emotional Barrier

Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

Cultural Barrier

Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

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The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

Gender Barrier

Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

Reference

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