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7 Ways to Create Your Life Purpose

7 Ways to Create Your Life Purpose

For anyone who is seeking to improve themselves, achieve better results in life or engage in meaningful personal development, there is one fundamental question to ask yourself: what is my life purpose? The answer is, in fact, of incredible importance, as it becomes the foundation for all other activities you will undertake in your life. The answer will become your compass. It will guide your activities, provide meaning to your life and cure boredom and dissatisfaction.

Successful business leaders know that to achieve incredible results in that business, they had better understand the purpose of that business. If you’re looking to realize incredible results from your life, shouldn’t you have a purpose, too?

Where does my life purpose come from?

No one is waiting to hand you your life purpose. You choose it. This is hugely empowering and an awesome revelation. Your life purpose will serve as the basis for how you lead your life. Your goals and actions will all be aligned with your life purpose. Your behaviors, values, choices and joy will all also work in concert with your life purpose. So choose wisely.

Despite the incredible impact of having a tremendous life purpose, there is not a sure-fire way to develop the best possible life purpose statement for everyone. As well, life purposes can and should change over time. Therefore, this is an individual exercise, allowing you to be creative and choose one that works for you. The method that works for you now may not be best for your friends. It may also not be best for a future version of you. For this reason, this article offers 7 ways to create your life purpose.

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Get ready to make some lists. Target each list to have somewhere between 50 and 101 entries.

1. Make a list of activities that make you happy

“True happiness… is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.” – Helen Keller

The more you live your life working toward larger meaning and purpose, the happier you will be. Accordingly, what makes you happy is therefore a clue to what your particular purpose in life is. Write out a list of what makes you truly happy and blissful. By partaking in this exercise and regularly reviewing the list, your life purpose may jump out at you.

Success follows happiness.

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“Thanks to this cutting-edge science, we now know that happiness is the precursor to success, not merely the result.” – Shawn Achor, The Happiness Advantage

2. Make a list of what has made you feel excited to get out of bed

“The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for.” – Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Here’s another list to make. Think back through your life, back to when you were a child. Find those times in your life when you stayed up late passionately involved with something, only to wake up bright-eyed and excited to start again. Write down as long of a list as possible and review it regularly. As with number 1, expect to find commonality and get closer to your life’s purpose.

3. Ask why you’re unique

If your life purpose is chosen by you, specifically for you, and can and should be different than everyone else’s, you had better play to your strengths. What are you very good at relative to other people? Don’t worry if they’re silly items or less valuable in the eyes of others. This is you.

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4. Define your perfect existence

Assuming no limitations, what would your perfect life look like? Write out your dream story. If everything was perfect, what would your life look like in 10 years? Who is in your life? Where are you living? How do you contribute to society?

5. Plug into the rest of the world

True happiness does not come from being self-centered. Your life purpose needs to include meaningful contribution to those around you. Who do you want to help? How do you want to help them? Teaching? Charity of time? Charity of money? How can your unique strengths benefit others?

“Strength lies in differences, not in similarities.” – Stephen R. Covey

6. Watch Yale Alumn and Entertainment Media Partners CEO Adam Leipzig tell you how to bring this all together and determine your life purpose in 5 minutes

7. Narrow down the lists

”Success demands singleness of purpose.” – Vince Lombardi

If you’ve followed these steps, you’ve built an impressive list of clues that will help you find your life purpose. Now, assign a task to your subconscious. Ask it to sift through all of this date and pull out the common thread. Don’t rush this. Allow your brain to do its work and return a tremendous answer to you.

Conclusion

This article has provided you with a set of tools to help you as you embark on the journey of learning your life’s purpose. With your life purpose in hand, you’ll re-invigorate your life. You’ll have focus, excitement, and happiness. I believe you can expect physical benefits as well.

“The physical gains of reaching this deeper self are real. They are lower blood pressure, a decrease in heart rate, a lower rate of respiration, reduced levels of cortisol and a boost to the immune system.” – Robert Lomas, PhD

Enjoy your journey!

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Featured photo credit: Andrew Becraft via flickr.com

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Justin Gesso

Bestselling Author, Business Leadership, Real Estate

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Last Updated on March 30, 2020

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

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1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

2. Be Honest

A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

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If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

4. Succeed at Something

When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

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6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

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In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

Final Thoughts

When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
[2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
[3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
[4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
[5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
[6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
[7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
[8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

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