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7 Steps To Accept Tough Situations In Life

7 Steps To Accept Tough Situations In Life

No one ever promised that life would be fair. In fact, life is unfair often. Your ability to accept that life isn’t meant to be fair can go a long way when it comes to getting you through tough situations in life.

1. Acknowledge the Situation

Sometimes people try to stay in denial when they face a tough situation. However, the longer you try to avoid the problem, the longer it will take to address it.

Acknowledge the situation exists, regardless of how you feel about it. Be prepared to face the situation head on so you can get through it. Even if you can’t change the situation, acknowledging it can help you accept it and move on.

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2. Develop a Plan

Brainstorm potential ways to deal with the situation. You’re likely to have more options than you might think. Spend time thinking about how you can respond to a tough situation.

Even if you can’t fix it, you can develop a plan to cope with it. For example, determine who you can call on for support and how you can keep going even when you don’t feel like it.

3. Seek Help When Necessary

Asking for help can be a sign of strength and courage. Don’t be afraid to look for help in a variety of ways to help you cope with a tough situation in life.

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Whether you need some practical help, like a friend to proofread your resume, or you need emotional support from your grandmother, don’t expect others to know what you need. Tell people what they can do to be helpful and you’ll get your needs met much faster.

4. Change What You Can

Identify what is within your control and resolve to make change. For example, if you got fired because your boss was unfair, don’t waste your time dwelling on your anger. Instead, take action and begin applying for new jobs as soon as possible.

If you can’t change the situation, you may be able to change your attitude. For example, if you’re dealing with a death of your grandfather, you can’t do anything to bring him back. However, you can change how you choose to view the situation.

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Although it’s unlikely you can suddenly change your attitude over night, you can change it over time. It is a process that takes hard work. However, simply recognizing that you can use an attitude adjustment can go a long way to creating change.

5. Identify What You Can’t Change

Don’t waste time and energy trying to change things you can’t change. You can’t change anyone else and you can’t change your past. Spending too much time thinking about and wishing things were different won’t do any good.

Instead, accept that the situation is unfair and tough. Don’t pretend it’s not. But don’t waste a second trying to will it to be different.

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6. Develop Coping Skills to Deal with Your Feelings

Just because you acknowledge a situation is unfair, doesn’t mean it won’t hurt. Dealing with sadness, anger, frustration, and disappointment is tough business.

Develop a plan to cope with all those difficult feelings. Resign to take care of yourself by eating healthy, getting exercise, and getting adequate amounts of rest. Find strategies to deal with complex feelings, such as spending time with loved ones, journaling, or participating in fun activities.

7. Focus on What You Can Gain

Usually something good can come out of even the worst situations. Focus on what you might gain for having survived a tough situation.

Perhaps, you’ll come out of it a stronger person or maybe you’ll have learned a valuable life lesson. Whatever it is, try to view the situation as a learning experience that will help you in some way later in life.

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Amy Morin

A psychotherapist, psychology instructor, keynote speaker, and the author of the bestselling book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do

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Last Updated on April 8, 2020

11 Things Overachievers Do Differently

11 Things Overachievers Do Differently

We all know some overachievers: supermoms who manage to get online degrees between cleaning, cooking, and taking kids to practice; students who write 10-page papers when the directions call for 4; managers whose resumes look more like pages from the Guinness book of Records.

How do they do it all? How is it possible that one person can graduate at the top of their class, found an orphanage in India, run 30k marathons, write a best-selling book, travel all over the world and learn to speak Mandarin Chinese while having a full-time job?

What’s the secret of an overachiever? Here’re 11 things overachievers do differently that you can learn from.

1. They Know How to Manage Their Time

It’s pretty simple actually – you can never become an overachiever if you don’t know how to organize your time efficiently.

The great thing is that overachievers are ready to share their knowledge and time management talent with the rest of the world. Read The 4-Hour Workweek or The 4-Hour Body by Timothy Ferriss, and you’ll know what I’m talking about.

2. They Don’t Spend Hours Watching TV or Playing Computer Games

Mostly because they have better things to do, like exercising, reading, spending an evening with their family or volunteering to work in the local soup kitchen. Their philosophy is simple – the world is full of wonderful things to try, explore and experience. Watching TV is not one of them.

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3. They Are Obsessed With Perfection

Imagine Steve Jobs’ work approach and you’ll understand the level of perfection and painfully high standards that overachievers set for themselves and those around them. Often it pays off (especially if they focus on just one domain). But sometimes compulsive over-striving turns into a sure-fire road to disappointments and unfinished tasks.

Learn how to strike a balance: How Not to Let Perfectionism Secretly Screw You Up

4. They Know How To Inspire

Overachievers learn quickly that it is much easier to achieve goals through collaboration (and especially delegation). So they know how to inspire, encourage, persuade and motivate people around them. Even though they often drive their team crazy with their stubbornness and perfectionism, people quickly follow under the spell of their enthusiasm and greater vision.

Learn these 10 Powerful Ways to Influence People Positively.

5. They Set Clear Goals

The term “overachiever” itself implies that they know how to achieve goals. That is kind of hard to do if your goals are vague, unclear and lack specific deadline, which is why overachievers educate themselves, read goal-setting books, and think about the best way to approach a new task.

Although, it’s worth mentioning that overachievers usually use their time management and goal-setting skills towards competitive, “I want to kick butt” type of goals rather than self-improvement, mastery goals.

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Take a look at these tips to help you set clearer goals: What Are SMART Goals (And How to Use Them to Become Successful)

6. They Are Organized

It’s hard to imagine a disorganized overachiever, isn’t it? Their great organizational and planning skills usually serve three main purposes: keeping track of time, keeping track of progress and keeping track of achievements.

This hasn’t been confirmed by scientific research yet, but overachievers might actually get a “runner’s high” from crossing tasks off their to-do lists, and making new to-do lists.

Here’s How to Organize Your Life: 10 Habits of Really Organized People

7. They Try to Avoid Failure at All Costs

Some psychologists believe that overachievers place their self-worth on their competence, driven by an underlying fear of failure. Rather than setting and striving for goals based on a pure desire to achieve, their core motivation becomes avoiding failure. This may explain the fact that overachiever beat themselves up for even little setbacks and seemingly-insignificant mistakes.

But be aware that having a strong fear of failure can wrek havoc your productivity. So the best thing to do? Learn to conquer the fear: Why You Have the Fear of Failure (And How to Conquer It)

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8. They Love Awards

Who doesn’t love them, right? True enough, but unlike most people who like to feel acknowledged and appreciated for their efforts, overachievers are bent on collecting ‘awards’, be it university degrees, spelling bee prizes or unusual destinations.

While loving awares isn’t bad, it’s even better if you’re driven by internal motivation instead of external ones which could be quite uncontrolable or unstable: Why Is Internal Motivation So Powerful (And How to Find It).

9. They Don’t Understand the Concept of Work Hours

Don’t get surprised if you receive a work-related email anywhere between 8 p.m. and midnight. It’s something overachievers usually do and you weren’t the only one. At least 20 more emails have been sent during these hours to other people. The concepts of over-achieving and working overtime usually go hand in hand.

The downside of this is an imbalnced life, which may need to problems in other aspects of life including health and relationships. A better way is to Achieve a Realistic Work Life Balance.

10. They Rest

Overachievers might often be labeled as “workaholics”, because they often ignore bodily signs of hunger, fatigue and even a full bladder, hoping to finish just one last little part. This doesn’t mean that overachievers don’t know how to disconnect and relax.

True that they tend to work in the highest gear, but they also have enough sense to give themselves time to rest and recharge. Of course, they do it in their own overachieving way, preferring climbing Mount Kilimanjaro or hiking through the Amazon jungle to lazing on the beach.

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11. Overachievers Continuously Educate Themselves

A great quality that most overachievers have is the hunger for knowledge. They surround themselves with bright people. They know how to listen, and most importantly, they get tons of mentoring.

Despite the fact that overachievers want to excel at everything they set their minds on, they are humble enough to admit that to get on top of their game, they need help. And they are willing to pay someone to push, coach and guide them.

You too can learn How to Create a Habit of Continuous Learning for a Better You.

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Featured photo credit: Nghia Le via unsplash.com

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