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7 Signs Of A Relationship That Will Last

7 Signs Of A Relationship That Will Last

A relationship is a fickle thing. One day you can sit next to your significant other and think that it’ll last forever and then the next day one of you is dodging fragile (and often expensive) objects being hurled at your skull. Being happy is one thing, but knowing you have a solid, lasting relationship is something else entirely. Here are some signs that you’re in a relationship that may go somewhere.

1. You help each other

Lasting Relationship

    It’s something you two just do. One of you cooks and the other cleans. One of you does the laundry and the other puts it away. I’m not saying that you guys need to complete each others sentence or do this kind of stuff all the time, but there are things around the house and in life that you each take care of so the other doesn’t have to. In my relationship, when we order a pizza, I’m always the one who calls the pizza place because my girlfriend hates talking on the phone. It may not be big or always obvious but it’s something you do so often that it’s become second nature.

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    2. You’re on the same page

    When you aren’t with the right person in a relationship, you two have different priorities. You may be focused on a job while the other wants to have a baby. Your significant other may be into getting drunk and having fun and you’re starting to feel ready to settle down. When you’re in a relationship that could go somewhere, these sorts of things simply don’t happen. Settling down (or partying it up) sound like a good idea to both of you. Birds of a feather flock together.

    3. You communicate

    If you ever watched How I Met Your Mother, think of pretty much every conversation Marshall and Lily ever had. Relationships that are going places also include two people who talk about things. We’re not talking about your favorite movies or songs. We’re talking about the important stuff like life decisions, good feelings, and bad feelings. Couples to talk together, stay together because they work out the problems before they become serious.

    4. You can both admit it when you screw up

    We are human beings and that means we make mistakes. It’s one thing to make the mistake but it’s another to admit you made the mistake and then attempt to fix it. Now, there’s a line as to how bad a screw up is before it’s too bit of a screw up. Getting irrationally angry at a small thing can be fixed but if your partner physically harms you, that’s something you probably shouldn’t forgive (and no one would blame you). Which brings us to our next one.

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    5. You don’t make “those mistakes” and you don’t want to

    There are “those mistakes” that you can make that are more or less unforgivable. Hitting your partner, cheating on them, stealing money, etc all fall into the category of things that people generally don’t get over. In a relationship that may go the distance, these kinds of issues simply don’t exist because no one wants to be in a relationship with someone like that and if you want that other person around, you wouldn’t ever want to do that kind of stuff to them.

    6. You and your partner are in control of your relationship

    This sounds like common sense but you’d be surprised how many relationships allow external forces to control things and that’s not always a good thing. It’s one thing when a friend expresses concern for your happiness but it’s another altogether when they try to control your life. This goes for parents too. Yes, it’s true that they brought you into this world but when you turned 18, you became your own person. In a lasting relationship, things like controlling parents and friends are things that both of you deal with and you don’t let it get to you.

    7. When it’s broken, you fix it

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    lasting relationship

      These days, people break something and just throw it away and buy another one. While this attitude is perfectly fine for things, they are not okay with people. No relationship is perfect. Things ebb and flow. There will be good times but there will also be bad times. When the bad times happen, people in a lasting relationship figure out the problem, and then they fix will fix it. Throwing things away is for your broken iPhone, not for your loved one and when you’re in a lasting relationship, you know that.

       

      At the end of the day, everyone’s relationship is unique. We’ve tried to identify the base line stuff but the fact is that people get along in the weirdest ways so even these may not always apply to you. If you can make it work, then you know how to do it!

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      Featured photo credit: Lowe and Behold via loweandbehold.net

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      Last Updated on January 18, 2019

      7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

      7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

      Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

      But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

      If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

      1. Limit the time you spend with them.

      First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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      In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

      Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

      2. Speak up for yourself.

      Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

      3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

      This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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      But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

      4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

      Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

      This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

      Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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      5. Change the subject.

      When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

      Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

      6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

      Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

      I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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      You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

      Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

      7. Leave them behind.

      Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

      If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

      That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

      You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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