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7 Lies You Keep Telling Yourself That Hold You Back From Growing

7 Lies You Keep Telling Yourself That Hold You Back From Growing

Personal growth comes in many shapes and forms. It involves becoming a better person, a better leader or perhaps just reaching a long term goal. The fact is that only when we grow as individuals, can we experience a sense of self fulfillment. However, many people miss out on personal growth not because they are at some sort of disadvantage, but rather, because they keep lying to themselves.

Here are 7 lies that you keep telling yourself that may be holding you back from your own personal development.

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1. It’s impossible.

Stop telling yourself that you can’t do it or that it’s impossible. You reap what you sow, and if you keep doing what you are doing, you will keep getting what you are getting. Why are you saying no to yourself before anybody else is? These things matter. It matters that you want more than what the rest of the world is settling for and where there is a will, there is a way.

2. Failure is not an option.

Thomas A. Edison once said “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”  The only failure that exists is that which you do not learn from. And even if you do fail, stop belittling your efforts. When you qualify anything you do as a “failure,” or “not good enough” you are keeping yourself from gaining experience before even starting to grow. Even if you fail nine times out of ten, it’s OK. It just means you have to work ten times as hard.

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3. I’m at a disadvantage.

You don’t have a lot of money to invest in that new business, you are an artist who cannot afford lessons, or maybe you’ve just made big mistakes in the past. Think of all the inspirational people out there who’ve done impossible things: Beethoven was deaf, Joan of Arc was an illiterate peasant, Oprah Winfrey was raised by a single mother who worked as a maid. Normal people achieve the impossible everyday, so what are you waiting for?

4. I just don’t have the time.

Out of all lies, this is probably one of the biggest. It is true people have obligations, or maybe you don’t want to appear selfish by taking time away from your loved ones to focus on you. But just think, if you don’t grow, what will you have to share? If you don’t make time for success, what’s going to happen when you run out of time to make things happen? Prioritize, reorganize, and learn to use your free time wisely. If you don’t have the time, it’s because you haven’t made the time.

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5. I’ll get to it later.

No you won’t. If you don’t do it today, chances are you will not do it tomorrow. The more you put something off, the easier it will be to procrastinate, and you know it. Avoid this, and don’t leave for tomorrow what you know you can do today.

6. This person just got lucky.

It is true that success comes with a small amount of luck. However, before getting lucky, you have to work hard. Sitting there and waiting to grow into a better you doesn’t happen out of a strike of luck. Anyone who is successful failed, tried again, kept trying and didn’t give up until they found the right answer, business pitch, idea, etc. Think of it as buying tickets to a lottery: the more tickets you buy, the more likely you are to win. But how are you supposed to win if you don’t play?

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7.  It’s not worth the risk.

Yes it is. Later in life you are more likely to regret not doing all that you could have. Furthermore, no matter what you do, life is full of risks. Even the safest of choices can go wrong, just like the riskiest ones can go right. It’s better to go through life thinking “wow, I actually did that,” than “wow, I wish I’d done that when I had the chance.” The more you risk, the more you earn, and even if you fail, just take it as a lesson learned and move on. Take risks and don’t let fear keep you from reaching your full potential.

The mind is a magician and the projection you have of yourself is extremely important. If you wholeheartedly believe you can’t achieve something, chances are you will not. Stop lying to yourself, find happiness!

Stop telling yourself these seven lies that hold you back from growing.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via flickr.com

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Joel Goldstein

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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