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7 Beliefs of Happy People

7 Beliefs of Happy People

The way a person thinks matters. A person’s beliefs about himself, other people, and the world can critically influence his level of happiness.
These beliefs are what allow some people to remain calm and content,  even during those inevitable occasions when life serves up some pretty miserable circumstances. Alternatively, these beliefs also have the power to make a person feel as if his world is crumbling around him if a stranger says something nasty or he gets a parking ticket.

An overall happy person sometimes feels frustration, pain, and discomfort, but he is able to shrug his shoulders and move on without getting caught in the trap of suffering.

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These are common beliefs of overall happy people: 

1. There are no “shoulds.” 

Happy people  believe that when it comes to situations and behaviors, there are no automatic “shoulds.”  They genuinely accept, “No, it isn’t true that the police officer should have let me off with a warning, my neighbor should keep his dog quiet or I should get new shoes.  And it’s definitely not a fact that I should not have gotten in that car accident, that I should always be kind, that I should have gone to law school…”

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Happy people don’t invest energy dwelling on or fighting what “should” or “should not” have happened. They also think for themselves about whether doing something makes sense instead of relying on “shoulds” to guide their own behaviors and choices.

2. Everything is a shade of gray (and that’s okay). 

Happy people accept (and can tolerate the uncertainty that comes with admitting) that the world is not “black or white”, “all good or all bad.” They can face the facts that they have some strengths and some limitations without shuddering; They accept that a person can be rude or show poor judgment in an instance and still not be completely selfish all the time. They truly know that just because something awful happens, their life is not all bad.

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3. All relevant things are based on facts (not judgments or assumptions).

Happy people see themselves, others, and the world realistically, meaning they stick to the facts when they acknowledge the bad things and the good things.  They don’t think to themselves, “I am such an idiot” when they forget to turn off the oven; They simply think, “I forgot to turn off the oven.”  They don’t think to themselves, “Now my kid will never graduate college” when she struggles with reading in first grade; They simply think, “It takes more time and intervention for her to practice phonics right now.”

4. It’s not all about me, and that’s okay. 

Content people believe: “I am not the best or the most handsome or the smartest or the most successful human being on the planet, and that’s okay; Not everyone likes me, and that’s okay; Often times people are focused on their own thoughts and perspectives more than they are focused on me, and that’s okay.

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5. It is okay to accept that things are what they are (or were what they were), even when it’s painful. 

People who are generally happy accept that people are sometimes irrational and hurtful, that obstacles and tragedies have occurred and there is no way to undo them, and  that they will go through periods of pain and hardship in the future. They believe that it is okay to experience and ride-out that pain without fighting it, numbing it, or drowning it.

6.  Even though I must surrender to some painful things, I am not completely powerless.

Happy people look at the world and situations with a sense of personal-accountability and control.  They know that they are in charge of making their lives what they want it to be and being the person they want to be.  And they feel capable of doing just that. A happy person bravely focuses on his own role in any problems (even if it is small), so that he is able to make positive changes.   As for the happy person that forgot to turn off the oven in #3?  He simply takes personal responsibility for making sure to set a timer next time he bakes.

7. This moment is worth enjoying.

Happy people aren’t telling themselves,  “as soon as I get a better job, I’ll be happy,” or “When I find a boyfriend, I’ll be happy.” They truly believe that the small joys of everyday life are worth noticing and experiencing with enjoyment.

Featured photo credit: TheresaOtero via mrg.bz

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Last Updated on July 3, 2020

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

In today’s world, true peace must come from within us and our own actions. Here are 30 small things you can do on a regular basis to increase your overall sense of harmony, peace, and well-being:

1. Don’t go to every fight you’re invited to

Particularly when you’re around those who thrive on chaos, be willing to decline the invitation to join in on the drama.

2. Focus on your breath

Throughout the day, stop to take a few deep breaths. Keep stress at bay with techniques such as “square breathing.” Breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, then out for four counts, and hold again for four counts. Repeat this cycle four times.

3. Get organized and purge old items

A cluttered space often creates a cluttered spirit. Take the time to get rid of anything you haven’t used in a year and invest in organizational systems that help you sustain a level of neatness.

4. Stop yourself from being judgmental

Whenever you are tempted to have an opinion about someone else’s life, check your intentions. Judging others creates and promotes negative energy.

5. Say ‘thank you’ early and often

Start and end each day with an attitude of gratitude. Look for opportunities in your daily routine and interactions to express appreciation.

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6. Smile more

Even if you have to “fake it until you make it,” there are many scientific benefits of smiling and laughing. Also, pay attention to your facial expression when you are doing neutral activities such as driving and walking. Turn that frown upside down!

7. Don’t worry about the future

As difficult as this sounds, there is a direct connection between staying in the present and living a more peaceful life. You cannot control the future. As the old proverb goes, “Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere.” Practice gently bringing your thoughts back to the present.

8. Eat real food

The closer the food is to the state from which it came from the earth, the better you will feel in eating it. Choose foods that grew from a plant over food that was made in a plant.

9. Choose being happy over being right

Too often, we sacrifice inner peace in order to make a point. It’s rarely worth it.

10. Keep technology out of the bedroom

Many studies, such as one conducted by Brigham and Women’s Hospital, have connected blue light of electronic devices before bed to adverse sleep and overall health. To make matters worse, many people report that they cannot resist checking email and social media when their cell phone is in reach of their bed, regardless of the time.

11. Make use of filtering features on social media

You may not want to “unfriend” someone completely, however you can choose whether you want to follow their posts and/or the sources of information that they share.

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12. Get comfortable with silence

When you picture someone who is the ultimate state of peace, typically they aren’t talking.

13. Listen to understand, not to respond

So often in conversations, we use our ears to give us cues about when it is our turn to say what we want to say. Practice active listening, ask questions, process, then speak.

14. Put your troubles in a bubble

Whenever you start to feel anxious, visualize the situation being wrapped in a bubble and then picture that sphere floating away.

15. Speak more slowly

Often a lack of peace manifests itself in fast or clipped speech. Take a breath, slow down, and let your thoughtful consideration drive your words.

16. Don’t procrastinate

Nothing adds stress to our lives like waiting until the last minute.

17. Buy a coloring book

Mandala coloring books for adults are becoming more popular because of their connection to creating inner peace.

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18. Prioritize yourself

You are the only person who you are guaranteed to live with 24 hours a day for the rest of your life.

19. Forgive others

Holding a grudge is hurting you exponentially more than anyone else. Let it go.

20. Check your expectations

Presumption often leads to drama. Remember the old saying, “Expectations are premeditated resentments.”

21. Engage in active play

Let your inner child come out and have some fun. Jump, dance, play, and pretend!

22. Stop criticizing yourself

The world is a hard enough place with more than enough critics. Your life is not served well by being one of them.

23. Focus your energy and attention on what you want

Thoughts, words, and actions all create energy. Energy attracts like energy. Put out what you want to get back.

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24. Assign yourself “complaint free” days.

Make a conscious decision not to complain about anything for a whole day. It might be harder than you think and the awareness will stick with you.

25. Surround yourself with people you truly enjoy being in the company of

Personalities tend to be contagious, and not everyone’s is worth catching. Be judicious in your choices.

26. Manage your money

Financial concerns rank top on the list of what causes people stress. Take the time each month to do a budget, calculate what you actually spend and sanity check that against the money you have coming in.

27. Stop trying to control everything

Not only is your inner control freak sabotaging your sense of peace, it is also likely getting in the way of external relationships as well.

28. Practice affirmations

Repeat positive phrases that depict the life and qualities you want to attract. It may not come naturally to you, but it works.

29. Get up before sunrise

Personally witnessing the dawn brings a unique sense of awe and appreciation for life.

30. Be yourself

Nothing creates more inner discord than trying to be something other than who we really are. Authenticity breeds happiness.

Featured photo credit: man watching sunrise via stokpic.com

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