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6 Differences Between Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships

6 Differences Between Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships

Healthy relationships involve sincerity while unhealthy relationships involve manipulation. Do you believe a person truly loves you? Before even giving a nod to a serious relationship, it would be wise to analyze whether the thing you are getting into is worthwhile. He who says he loves you can even be a victim of his own feelings or desires. For all you know he might be confused with his own feelings. So, it’s good to do a thorough analysis before making this big decision in an area of your life that is super sensitive.

1. Real giving vs. giving to get

A healthy relationship gives without expecting anything in return. It freely gives. One can aptly call this a true gift of love. An unhealthy relationship gives in order to get something in return. In a healthy relationship, trust is the main force in operation. By hook or by crook you got each other’s back. Your best interest is always at the forefront. If what you have is true love, both of you are willing to say to the other, “I’ve got you covered.” You totally trust each other. You can relax and not worry about the relationship, because you know your partner will never betray you. On the contrary, an unhealthy relationship rarely gives without expecting a return on investment; there’s always a price to pay for something that is given. When it gives, it expects a boomerang of benefits.

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2. Accepting vs. wanting to change the partner

A healthy relationship involves accepting the other person, wholeheartedly. It works hard to discover who the other person really is, so she can love that person in an all encompassing way. An unhealthy relationship, in contrast, seeks to change the opposite end of the relationship. It wants the other person to conform to his wants and needs. It is the kind of relationship where controlling is the main purpose, and it controls in order to get the satisfaction it seeks.

3. Genuine desire vs. pushing your partner

An unhealthy relationship uses guilt to get what it wants. It pushes you to feel guilt. That way, it can demand things it wants from you. In this kind of relationship you don’t give freely. You give because you need to. In a healthy relationship, you give because you genuinely desire to take care of your partner’s needs. You have a genuine desire to satisfy your partner.

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4. Exposure vs. protecting privacy

In a healthy relationship, you go the extra mile to cover for your partners weaknesses. You treat your partner’s dark areas as sacred matters, not to be divulged for any reason and to anybody. Here, private aspects of the intimate partnership are deliberately created in order to strengthen the relationship; you don’t reveal private details to anyone, even if they are family, or very close friends. What you possess as a couple is only for you two. You treat those moments and details like governments treat classified or top secret documents. You treasure each other’s contributions to the relationship. In a tainted love, negative attributes of a partner become a source of nasty jokes — even intimate moments like kissing are shared to any person willing to listen.

5. Revenge vs. restoration

Arguments and lovers’ quarrels are a way to strengthen a relationship. How? By using the fights to get to know the other person more intimately, you gain insight into how the other partner can be served much better, rather than use the fights as a way to gather ammunition to control or hurt the other person in future. By getting to know the other person, you will gain knowledge on how to restore your bond. In comparison, an unhealthy relationship is vengeful and fights will manufacture rejection, blaming, or even oppression.

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6. Self-centeredness vs. shared dreams

True love transforms two individuals into one real union. Upon forming a relationship, they make dreams together — the fruit of which, as a natural consequence, is the creation of fresh goals that are unified and that aim for one another’s well being. The unhealthy relationship, on the contrary, demands that you give up your personal dreams. It will not help you make them a reality; this kind of relationship doesn’t give — rather, it steals.

Sources:

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How to Diagnose an Unhealthy Relationship by Kevin D. Arnold via Psychology Today

The Difference Between Healthy Love and Unhealthy Love by John Kim via Mind body Green

Featured photo credit: Couple on a bench – Two lovers sitting on a bench in a park and holding themselves by hands – Concepts of autumn,love,togethe rness,relationship via shutterstock.com

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Anthony Dejolde

TV/Radio personality who educates his audience on entrepreneurship, productivity, and leadership.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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