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6 Differences Between Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships

6 Differences Between Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships

Healthy relationships involve sincerity while unhealthy relationships involve manipulation. Do you believe a person truly loves you? Before even giving a nod to a serious relationship, it would be wise to analyze whether the thing you are getting into is worthwhile. He who says he loves you can even be a victim of his own feelings or desires. For all you know he might be confused with his own feelings. So, it’s good to do a thorough analysis before making this big decision in an area of your life that is super sensitive.

1. Real giving vs. giving to get

A healthy relationship gives without expecting anything in return. It freely gives. One can aptly call this a true gift of love. An unhealthy relationship gives in order to get something in return. In a healthy relationship, trust is the main force in operation. By hook or by crook you got each other’s back. Your best interest is always at the forefront. If what you have is true love, both of you are willing to say to the other, “I’ve got you covered.” You totally trust each other. You can relax and not worry about the relationship, because you know your partner will never betray you. On the contrary, an unhealthy relationship rarely gives without expecting a return on investment; there’s always a price to pay for something that is given. When it gives, it expects a boomerang of benefits.

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2. Accepting vs. wanting to change the partner

A healthy relationship involves accepting the other person, wholeheartedly. It works hard to discover who the other person really is, so she can love that person in an all encompassing way. An unhealthy relationship, in contrast, seeks to change the opposite end of the relationship. It wants the other person to conform to his wants and needs. It is the kind of relationship where controlling is the main purpose, and it controls in order to get the satisfaction it seeks.

3. Genuine desire vs. pushing your partner

An unhealthy relationship uses guilt to get what it wants. It pushes you to feel guilt. That way, it can demand things it wants from you. In this kind of relationship you don’t give freely. You give because you need to. In a healthy relationship, you give because you genuinely desire to take care of your partner’s needs. You have a genuine desire to satisfy your partner.

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4. Exposure vs. protecting privacy

In a healthy relationship, you go the extra mile to cover for your partners weaknesses. You treat your partner’s dark areas as sacred matters, not to be divulged for any reason and to anybody. Here, private aspects of the intimate partnership are deliberately created in order to strengthen the relationship; you don’t reveal private details to anyone, even if they are family, or very close friends. What you possess as a couple is only for you two. You treat those moments and details like governments treat classified or top secret documents. You treasure each other’s contributions to the relationship. In a tainted love, negative attributes of a partner become a source of nasty jokes — even intimate moments like kissing are shared to any person willing to listen.

5. Revenge vs. restoration

Arguments and lovers’ quarrels are a way to strengthen a relationship. How? By using the fights to get to know the other person more intimately, you gain insight into how the other partner can be served much better, rather than use the fights as a way to gather ammunition to control or hurt the other person in future. By getting to know the other person, you will gain knowledge on how to restore your bond. In comparison, an unhealthy relationship is vengeful and fights will manufacture rejection, blaming, or even oppression.

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6. Self-centeredness vs. shared dreams

True love transforms two individuals into one real union. Upon forming a relationship, they make dreams together — the fruit of which, as a natural consequence, is the creation of fresh goals that are unified and that aim for one another’s well being. The unhealthy relationship, on the contrary, demands that you give up your personal dreams. It will not help you make them a reality; this kind of relationship doesn’t give — rather, it steals.

Sources:

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How to Diagnose an Unhealthy Relationship by Kevin D. Arnold via Psychology Today

The Difference Between Healthy Love and Unhealthy Love by John Kim via Mind body Green

Featured photo credit: Couple on a bench – Two lovers sitting on a bench in a park and holding themselves by hands – Concepts of autumn,love,togethe rness,relationship via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on August 15, 2018

When You Start to Enjoy Being Single, These 12 Things Will Happen

When You Start to Enjoy Being Single, These 12 Things Will Happen

Being single can make you weary, especially if you didn't initiate a breakup, it could be easy to get carried away with reminiscing and what-if scenarios. Staying caught up in the past is toxic to your growth, however, and interferes with your ability to move forward. Single life can be self-actualizing and enjoyable, but you need to embrace it first. No matter where you are on your journey in coming to terms with being single, the following 12 fantastic things will happen when you accept it.

Video Summary

1. You will be more focused.

    Once you start to treasure your new-found freedom, you will realize that taking time for yourself will show you what is most important in your life. Enjoying your single time will make what you want clearer and reveal which areas of your life you should build upon. Additionally, studies show that experiencing something alone results in our brain forming a more clear and longer lasting memory.

    2. You will be more active.

      Studies show that unmarried people are also more fit than their hitched counterparts. Let yourself welcome being single, and use this time to your benefit. You'll be more confident and in control when you do meet someone special.

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      3. You will be more likely to have high goals.

        Being single means you can't settle. In case someone who captures your heart comes along, you need to be at the top of your game. By embracing your time being single, you will be more able to pursue your goals and work towards a more complete, fulfilling future.

        4. You will be more creative.

          Spending time alone is also linked to an increase in creative thinking. Spending more time alone will force you to be a deeper thinker, and could lead you to solutions and projects you wouldn't have thought of otherwise.

          5. Your schedule will be your own.

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            Once you get past feeling lonely and realize how wonderful being single is, you will become aware of one of the best perks – your schedule is now completely your own. No longer do you need to have nights out approved, nor will long days at work get interrupted. Relax into loving your single life because nothing is quite as liberating as deciding every moment of your weekly schedule.

            6. You will likely save money.

              Dating is a great way to wave goodbye to all your hard earned cash. When you're with someone, there's nothing more important than impressing them, including your income. However, when the relationship fizzles, you realize how this tactic doesn't pay off. Not only are we more prone to spending when dating, married couples are more likely to have credit card debt than unmarried singles. So don't get depressed when you're eating cheap meals alone – it's really a form of investing in your future!

              7. You won't need to compromise on entertainment.

                Particularly if your significant other tends to have different tastes than you, being single can be a blessing. As soon as you can appreciate being single, you will realize how freeing it is to always watch exactly what you want. There is no longer any need to skimp on your favorite movies, plays, or TV shows that others don't appreciate.

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                8. You will have more time for your family.

                  Another thing you will realize once you learn to relish being single is you now have much more time for family. Especially when it comes to older relatives, time spent with them truly is precious. Make the most of your single time by reconnecting with family members in your life you may have been neglecting.

                  9. You have more time for your friends.

                    Once you start basking in your single glory, you will also find that you have more time for your friends. Not only will increased free time let you reconnect with friends you may have neglected while being half of a couple, studies also show that married people have much weaker social lives than those who are unmarried.

                    10. You will find new haunts in your city.

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                      Once you start to enjoy your single life again you will also find that you have plenty of time to rediscover your city. Where relationships see us fall into the same habit of favorite spots to drink, eat, or dance, when you're on your own you will naturally start to explore fresh venues again.

                      11. You'll find more interests.

                        Similarly, enjoying your time being single will give you more time to consider new hobbies and interests. Instead of repeating the same go-to dates, you can now freely explore activities that really make you passionate.

                        12. You will be more aware of what you want.

                          Ultimately, taking time to ourselves is an important ingredient in discovering what type of person is our ideal match, or what career we can happily commit to. By delighting in your uninhibited life, you are more able to experiment and thereby find out what works for you and what doesn't. Don't look at being single as a drawback, since learning more about yourself and finding out what makes you tick are crucial in forming balanced, healthy relationships in the future.

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