Advertising
Advertising

6 Differences Between Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships

6 Differences Between Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships

Healthy relationships involve sincerity while unhealthy relationships involve manipulation. Do you believe a person truly loves you? Before even giving a nod to a serious relationship, it would be wise to analyze whether the thing you are getting into is worthwhile. He who says he loves you can even be a victim of his own feelings or desires. For all you know he might be confused with his own feelings. So, it’s good to do a thorough analysis before making this big decision in an area of your life that is super sensitive.

1. Real giving vs. giving to get

A healthy relationship gives without expecting anything in return. It freely gives. One can aptly call this a true gift of love. An unhealthy relationship gives in order to get something in return. In a healthy relationship, trust is the main force in operation. By hook or by crook you got each other’s back. Your best interest is always at the forefront. If what you have is true love, both of you are willing to say to the other, “I’ve got you covered.” You totally trust each other. You can relax and not worry about the relationship, because you know your partner will never betray you. On the contrary, an unhealthy relationship rarely gives without expecting a return on investment; there’s always a price to pay for something that is given. When it gives, it expects a boomerang of benefits.

Advertising

2. Accepting vs. wanting to change the partner

A healthy relationship involves accepting the other person, wholeheartedly. It works hard to discover who the other person really is, so she can love that person in an all encompassing way. An unhealthy relationship, in contrast, seeks to change the opposite end of the relationship. It wants the other person to conform to his wants and needs. It is the kind of relationship where controlling is the main purpose, and it controls in order to get the satisfaction it seeks.

3. Genuine desire vs. pushing your partner

An unhealthy relationship uses guilt to get what it wants. It pushes you to feel guilt. That way, it can demand things it wants from you. In this kind of relationship you don’t give freely. You give because you need to. In a healthy relationship, you give because you genuinely desire to take care of your partner’s needs. You have a genuine desire to satisfy your partner.

Advertising

4. Exposure vs. protecting privacy

In a healthy relationship, you go the extra mile to cover for your partners weaknesses. You treat your partner’s dark areas as sacred matters, not to be divulged for any reason and to anybody. Here, private aspects of the intimate partnership are deliberately created in order to strengthen the relationship; you don’t reveal private details to anyone, even if they are family, or very close friends. What you possess as a couple is only for you two. You treat those moments and details like governments treat classified or top secret documents. You treasure each other’s contributions to the relationship. In a tainted love, negative attributes of a partner become a source of nasty jokes — even intimate moments like kissing are shared to any person willing to listen.

5. Revenge vs. restoration

Arguments and lovers’ quarrels are a way to strengthen a relationship. How? By using the fights to get to know the other person more intimately, you gain insight into how the other partner can be served much better, rather than use the fights as a way to gather ammunition to control or hurt the other person in future. By getting to know the other person, you will gain knowledge on how to restore your bond. In comparison, an unhealthy relationship is vengeful and fights will manufacture rejection, blaming, or even oppression.

Advertising

6. Self-centeredness vs. shared dreams

True love transforms two individuals into one real union. Upon forming a relationship, they make dreams together — the fruit of which, as a natural consequence, is the creation of fresh goals that are unified and that aim for one another’s well being. The unhealthy relationship, on the contrary, demands that you give up your personal dreams. It will not help you make them a reality; this kind of relationship doesn’t give — rather, it steals.

Sources:

Advertising

How to Diagnose an Unhealthy Relationship by Kevin D. Arnold via Psychology Today

The Difference Between Healthy Love and Unhealthy Love by John Kim via Mind body Green

Featured photo credit: Couple on a bench – Two lovers sitting on a bench in a park and holding themselves by hands – Concepts of autumn,love,togethe rness,relationship via shutterstock.com

More by this author

Anthony Dejolde

Freelance Writer/Blogger/Copywriter

Drink Water At The Correct Time To Stay Healthy The Art of Tucking in Shirts every Gentleman Needs to Practice 10 Ways to Lace Up Your Shoes Creatively 25 Odd Jobs That Make Good Money The Ultimate Lovehack You Need to Learn to Have a Blissful Love Life

Trending in Communication

110 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks 2When You Start to Enjoy Being Single, These 12 Things Will Happen 321 Best Tips On Making A Long Distance Relationship Work 4The Skill That Most People Don’t Have: Active Listening 518 Signs You’ve Found Your Soulmate

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on August 16, 2018

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

The ability to take risks by stepping outside your comfort zone is the primary way by which we grow. But we are often afraid to take that first step.

In truth, comfort zones are not really about comfort, they are about fear. Break the chains of fear to get outside. Once you do, you will learn to enjoy the process of taking risks and growing in the process.

Here are 10 ways to help you step out of your comfort zone and get closer to success:

1. Become aware of what’s outside of your comfort zone

What are the things that you believe are worth doing but are afraid of doing yourself because of the potential for disappointment or failure?

Draw a circle and write those things down outside the circle. This process will not only allow you to clearly identify your discomforts, but your comforts. Write identified comforts inside the circle.

2. Become clear about what you are aiming to overcome

Take the list of discomforts and go deeper. Remember, the primary emotion you are trying to overcome is fear.

Advertising

How does this fear apply uniquely to each situation? Be very specific.

Are you afraid of walking up to people and introducing yourself in social situations? Why? Is it because you are insecure about the sound of your voice? Are you insecure about your looks?

Or, are you afraid of being ignored?

3. Get comfortable with discomfort

One way to get outside of your comfort zone is to literally expand it. Make it a goal to avoid running away from discomfort.

Let’s stay with the theme of meeting people in social settings. If you start feeling a little panicked when talking to someone you’ve just met, try to stay with it a little longer than you normally would before retreating to comfort. If you stay long enough and practice often enough, it will start to become less uncomfortable.

4. See failure as a teacher

Many of us are so afraid of failure that we would rather do nothing than take a shot at our dreams.

Advertising

Begin to treat failure as a teacher. What did you learn from the experience? How can you take that lesson to your next adventure to increase your chance of success?

Many highly successful people failed plenty of times before they succeeded. Here’re some examples:

10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On

5. Take baby steps

Don’t try to jump outside your comfort zone, you will likely become overwhelmed and jump right back in.

Take small steps toward the fear you are trying to overcome. If you want to do public speaking, start by taking every opportunity to speak to small groups of people. You can even practice with family and friends.

Take a look at this article on how you can start taking baby steps:

Advertising

The Number One Secret to Life Success: Baby Steps

6. Hang out with risk takers

There is no substitute for this step. If you want to become better at something, you must start hanging out with the people who are doing what you want to do and start emulating them. (Here’re 8 Reasons Why Risk Takers Are More Likely To Be Successful).

Almost inevitably, their influence will start have an effect on your behavior.

7. Be honest with yourself when you are trying to make excuses

Don’t say “Oh, I just don’t have the time for this right now.” Instead, be honest and say “I am afraid to do this.”

Don’t make excuses, just be honest. You will be in a better place to confront what is truly bothering you and increase your chance of moving forward.

8. Identify how stepping out will benefit you

What will the ability to engage in public speaking do for your personal and professional growth? Keep these potential benefits in mind as motivations to push through fear.

Advertising

9. Don’t take yourself too seriously

Learn to laugh at yourself when you make mistakes. Risk taking will inevitably involve failure and setbacks that will sometimes make you look foolish to others. Be happy to roll with the punches when others poke fun.

If you aren’t convinced yet, check out these 6 Reasons Not to Take Life So Seriously.

10. Focus on the fun

Enjoy the process of stepping outside your safe boundaries. Enjoy the fun of discovering things about yourself that you may not have been aware of previously.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

Read Next