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6 Differences Between Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships

6 Differences Between Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships

Healthy relationships involve sincerity while unhealthy relationships involve manipulation. Do you believe a person truly loves you? Before even giving a nod to a serious relationship, it would be wise to analyze whether the thing you are getting into is worthwhile. He who says he loves you can even be a victim of his own feelings or desires. For all you know he might be confused with his own feelings. So, it’s good to do a thorough analysis before making this big decision in an area of your life that is super sensitive.

1. Real giving vs. giving to get

A healthy relationship gives without expecting anything in return. It freely gives. One can aptly call this a true gift of love. An unhealthy relationship gives in order to get something in return. In a healthy relationship, trust is the main force in operation. By hook or by crook you got each other’s back. Your best interest is always at the forefront. If what you have is true love, both of you are willing to say to the other, “I’ve got you covered.” You totally trust each other. You can relax and not worry about the relationship, because you know your partner will never betray you. On the contrary, an unhealthy relationship rarely gives without expecting a return on investment; there’s always a price to pay for something that is given. When it gives, it expects a boomerang of benefits.

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2. Accepting vs. wanting to change the partner

A healthy relationship involves accepting the other person, wholeheartedly. It works hard to discover who the other person really is, so she can love that person in an all encompassing way. An unhealthy relationship, in contrast, seeks to change the opposite end of the relationship. It wants the other person to conform to his wants and needs. It is the kind of relationship where controlling is the main purpose, and it controls in order to get the satisfaction it seeks.

3. Genuine desire vs. pushing your partner

An unhealthy relationship uses guilt to get what it wants. It pushes you to feel guilt. That way, it can demand things it wants from you. In this kind of relationship you don’t give freely. You give because you need to. In a healthy relationship, you give because you genuinely desire to take care of your partner’s needs. You have a genuine desire to satisfy your partner.

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4. Exposure vs. protecting privacy

In a healthy relationship, you go the extra mile to cover for your partners weaknesses. You treat your partner’s dark areas as sacred matters, not to be divulged for any reason and to anybody. Here, private aspects of the intimate partnership are deliberately created in order to strengthen the relationship; you don’t reveal private details to anyone, even if they are family, or very close friends. What you possess as a couple is only for you two. You treat those moments and details like governments treat classified or top secret documents. You treasure each other’s contributions to the relationship. In a tainted love, negative attributes of a partner become a source of nasty jokes — even intimate moments like kissing are shared to any person willing to listen.

5. Revenge vs. restoration

Arguments and lovers’ quarrels are a way to strengthen a relationship. How? By using the fights to get to know the other person more intimately, you gain insight into how the other partner can be served much better, rather than use the fights as a way to gather ammunition to control or hurt the other person in future. By getting to know the other person, you will gain knowledge on how to restore your bond. In comparison, an unhealthy relationship is vengeful and fights will manufacture rejection, blaming, or even oppression.

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6. Self-centeredness vs. shared dreams

True love transforms two individuals into one real union. Upon forming a relationship, they make dreams together — the fruit of which, as a natural consequence, is the creation of fresh goals that are unified and that aim for one another’s well being. The unhealthy relationship, on the contrary, demands that you give up your personal dreams. It will not help you make them a reality; this kind of relationship doesn’t give — rather, it steals.

Sources:

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How to Diagnose an Unhealthy Relationship by Kevin D. Arnold via Psychology Today

The Difference Between Healthy Love and Unhealthy Love by John Kim via Mind body Green

Featured photo credit: Couple on a bench – Two lovers sitting on a bench in a park and holding themselves by hands – Concepts of autumn,love,togethe rness,relationship via shutterstock.com

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Anthony Dejolde

Freelance Writer/Blogger/Copywriter

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Last Updated on October 9, 2018

27 Ways to Instantly Feel Better When You’re Down

27 Ways to Instantly Feel Better When You’re Down

Who has never gone through some ups and downs in the life? But some people can feel better in a quicker way than others because they’ve found their own remedies to heal the bad feelings.

If you haven’t found yours, these ways will help you instantly feel better and ditch that negative self talk when you’re feeling bad about yourself:

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  1. Listen to the songs you loved when you were in high school or university, this will recall you of the old good times.
  2. Write something. Write down how you feel as a way to express your thoughts if you don’t feel like talking to anyone.
  3. Draw something. Draw anything you want because no one’s going to judge your drawing skills.
  4. Read the postcards or letters your friends or family sent you before, remind yourself there are people who always remember you.
  5. Silently think of a day or moment which you truly enjoyed and try to recapture that very first feeling. Was it the day of your graduation? The moment you traveled with your loved one?
  6. Take out your photo albums and go over your childhood photos.
  7. Cry when you feel like doing so. There’s nothing wrong with crying; cry out all your fear and stress and just face the truth after crying.
  8. Sing loudly like no one can hear you. Do you know that in Japan, people always sing karaoke to relieve stress?
  9. Cook a nice meal for yourself or for your family.
  10. Read your previous diary entries and look at your great memories.
  11. Dress up nicely to feel happier.
  12. Don’t stay in your bed! Get your laptop or a book and sit in a coffee place.
  13. Take a walk outside and feel the fresh air.
  14. Sweat yourself! Go jogging or play some sports.
  15. Pick up the musical instrument you used to play a lot and start to play it.
  16. Tidy up your desk or wardrobe, you’ll feel good that you’re being productive and actually doing something.
  17. Watch some funny videos, sure you can find a lot of them on Youtube.
  18. Eat something you like, be it a chocolate cake, or an ice-cream. Just please yourself with the flavour you like.
  19. Re-read your favorite book and write down the sentences or passages that you love.
  20. Watch a new movie, there must be a movie which you’ve always interested in but had no time to watch it.
  21. Do something nice that no one will notice, say picking up a rubbish in the street and throw it to a trash bin.
  22. Call your best friend and just talk whatever you want! Human beings are social animals after all, connecting with people close to you will make you feel better.
  23. Do voluntary work and help people in need, you’ll feel happy and satisfied.
  24. Get drunk with your close friends at home – a safe place for you to get drunk and get crazy. Let loose and have fun with your very close friends.
  25. Write an email or a note to a friend who you care about.
  26. Get out of your routine life and meet new friends. Get out of your comfort zone! Meeting new people can give you new inspirations in life.
  27. Look into the mirror and smile. Act like today’s already a wonderful day. How we act affects how we feel. It’s difficult to go on feeling sad if you’re trying to smile!

Remember:

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It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.  — Epictetus

If you want to feel better, change what you’re doing because obviously what you’re doing doesn’t make you happy!

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Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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