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5 Ways to Live the Life of Your Dreams Right Now

5 Ways to Live the Life of Your Dreams Right Now

Are you living the life of your dreams right now?  If your answer is no, there are five things you could actually do, right now, that could help change your life immediately.

1. Get Conscious.

Take explicit not of what is working in your life and what isn’t working.  Are there areas of your life that you’re ignoring because they aren’t working, or because you feel like you have no choice other than to keep doing things the same old way?  Are you allowing time and space for what is working in your life to be nurtured, expanded, and grown or do you stuff it into 5 minute increments at the end of the day when no one else is looking?  Are you happy in your body? In your vocation? In your primary relationships? In your home? Why or why not?

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2. Stop being complacent and start being intentional.

Here’s a radical thought – you do not exist in reaction to your life.  Your life is not puppeteered by another person.  Every aspect of your life exists because on some level you made the choice to allow that aspect to show up.  If something negative happens what do you make that mean? That the universe is out to get you? That you deserved it? That you can never have what you want or get ahead? Or is it simply an obstacle that can be dealt with as you continue to move forward? How you think about things affects their impact on you.

Here’s another radical thought – you actually don’t have to suffer in order to have what you want.  You don’t have to compromise, be someone you’re not, or make choices out of alignment with your authentic expression.  You can make positive choices for yourself and your life that give you energy and make you happy.

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3. Really understand what it means to be at choice.

Life doesn’t happen to us, we consciously (or unconsciously) choose everything in our own life.  For example, when something awful happens to you do you blame someone else or decide you are a victim?  Or do you recognize that you actually get to choose how to respond to the situation?

4. Get clear about who you are.

Who are you? What is your authentic expression? What are you doing in the world?  What is uniquely yours to offer to the world? If you don’t know who you are and what you want then by golly it’s no surprise that you’re not living a life of your dreams.

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5. Lean into your Authenticity.

Once you get clear on what you are REALLY doing here start to live into it.  Maybe your unique purpose is to show the world that true love is possible, or that the paradigm of corporations could change, or that creativity is the root of happiness.  Whatever your purpose is, when you actually begin to align your life with that purpose your life will get easier.

Easier, you say?  Yes, easier. Because being yourself is life-giving.  Because being in touch with your unique purpose means decision-making gets easier – every choice becomes about what brings you closer to living your purpose and what draws you away from your purpose.  Your decisions become less influenced by other people’s opinions, how much money you can acquire, and what you can buy to numb yourself out because you hate your life.  You start to take inspired action.  In addition to ease you start to experience joy and fulfillment.  Funny how those can fit together (smile).

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If you are serious about beginning to live the life of your dreams right now, take some time to sit with and answer the following questions:  Who am I? What is my unique purpose? What makes me jump out of bed in the morning?  Conduct a moral inventory – what is out of alignment in your life? Where do compromise who you are in order to make other people comfortable or because you think you have to?  Get some support from a life or business coach to help you articulate who you are and what you want.  Then start living your dream life!

Featured photo credit: Christie via flickr.com

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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