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5 Ways to Live the Life of Your Dreams Right Now

5 Ways to Live the Life of Your Dreams Right Now

Are you living the life of your dreams right now?  If your answer is no, there are five things you could actually do, right now, that could help change your life immediately.

1. Get Conscious.

Take explicit not of what is working in your life and what isn’t working.  Are there areas of your life that you’re ignoring because they aren’t working, or because you feel like you have no choice other than to keep doing things the same old way?  Are you allowing time and space for what is working in your life to be nurtured, expanded, and grown or do you stuff it into 5 minute increments at the end of the day when no one else is looking?  Are you happy in your body? In your vocation? In your primary relationships? In your home? Why or why not?

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2. Stop being complacent and start being intentional.

Here’s a radical thought – you do not exist in reaction to your life.  Your life is not puppeteered by another person.  Every aspect of your life exists because on some level you made the choice to allow that aspect to show up.  If something negative happens what do you make that mean? That the universe is out to get you? That you deserved it? That you can never have what you want or get ahead? Or is it simply an obstacle that can be dealt with as you continue to move forward? How you think about things affects their impact on you.

Here’s another radical thought – you actually don’t have to suffer in order to have what you want.  You don’t have to compromise, be someone you’re not, or make choices out of alignment with your authentic expression.  You can make positive choices for yourself and your life that give you energy and make you happy.

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3. Really understand what it means to be at choice.

Life doesn’t happen to us, we consciously (or unconsciously) choose everything in our own life.  For example, when something awful happens to you do you blame someone else or decide you are a victim?  Or do you recognize that you actually get to choose how to respond to the situation?

4. Get clear about who you are.

Who are you? What is your authentic expression? What are you doing in the world?  What is uniquely yours to offer to the world? If you don’t know who you are and what you want then by golly it’s no surprise that you’re not living a life of your dreams.

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5. Lean into your Authenticity.

Once you get clear on what you are REALLY doing here start to live into it.  Maybe your unique purpose is to show the world that true love is possible, or that the paradigm of corporations could change, or that creativity is the root of happiness.  Whatever your purpose is, when you actually begin to align your life with that purpose your life will get easier.

Easier, you say?  Yes, easier. Because being yourself is life-giving.  Because being in touch with your unique purpose means decision-making gets easier – every choice becomes about what brings you closer to living your purpose and what draws you away from your purpose.  Your decisions become less influenced by other people’s opinions, how much money you can acquire, and what you can buy to numb yourself out because you hate your life.  You start to take inspired action.  In addition to ease you start to experience joy and fulfillment.  Funny how those can fit together (smile).

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If you are serious about beginning to live the life of your dreams right now, take some time to sit with and answer the following questions:  Who am I? What is my unique purpose? What makes me jump out of bed in the morning?  Conduct a moral inventory – what is out of alignment in your life? Where do compromise who you are in order to make other people comfortable or because you think you have to?  Get some support from a life or business coach to help you articulate who you are and what you want.  Then start living your dream life!

Featured photo credit: Christie via flickr.com

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Emma Churchman

Emma is a Creative Business Consultant, and Leadership Coach & Trainer

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Last Updated on April 19, 2021

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

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5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

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