Advertising

5 Ways to Live the Life of Your Dreams Right Now

Advertising
5 Ways to Live the Life of Your Dreams Right Now

Are you living the life of your dreams right now?  If your answer is no, there are five things you could actually do, right now, that could help change your life immediately.

1. Get Conscious.

Take explicit not of what is working in your life and what isn’t working.  Are there areas of your life that you’re ignoring because they aren’t working, or because you feel like you have no choice other than to keep doing things the same old way?  Are you allowing time and space for what is working in your life to be nurtured, expanded, and grown or do you stuff it into 5 minute increments at the end of the day when no one else is looking?  Are you happy in your body? In your vocation? In your primary relationships? In your home? Why or why not?

Advertising

2. Stop being complacent and start being intentional.

Here’s a radical thought – you do not exist in reaction to your life.  Your life is not puppeteered by another person.  Every aspect of your life exists because on some level you made the choice to allow that aspect to show up.  If something negative happens what do you make that mean? That the universe is out to get you? That you deserved it? That you can never have what you want or get ahead? Or is it simply an obstacle that can be dealt with as you continue to move forward? How you think about things affects their impact on you.

Here’s another radical thought – you actually don’t have to suffer in order to have what you want.  You don’t have to compromise, be someone you’re not, or make choices out of alignment with your authentic expression.  You can make positive choices for yourself and your life that give you energy and make you happy.

Advertising

3. Really understand what it means to be at choice.

Life doesn’t happen to us, we consciously (or unconsciously) choose everything in our own life.  For example, when something awful happens to you do you blame someone else or decide you are a victim?  Or do you recognize that you actually get to choose how to respond to the situation?

4. Get clear about who you are.

Who are you? What is your authentic expression? What are you doing in the world?  What is uniquely yours to offer to the world? If you don’t know who you are and what you want then by golly it’s no surprise that you’re not living a life of your dreams.

Advertising

5. Lean into your Authenticity.

Once you get clear on what you are REALLY doing here start to live into it.  Maybe your unique purpose is to show the world that true love is possible, or that the paradigm of corporations could change, or that creativity is the root of happiness.  Whatever your purpose is, when you actually begin to align your life with that purpose your life will get easier.

Easier, you say?  Yes, easier. Because being yourself is life-giving.  Because being in touch with your unique purpose means decision-making gets easier – every choice becomes about what brings you closer to living your purpose and what draws you away from your purpose.  Your decisions become less influenced by other people’s opinions, how much money you can acquire, and what you can buy to numb yourself out because you hate your life.  You start to take inspired action.  In addition to ease you start to experience joy and fulfillment.  Funny how those can fit together (smile).

Advertising

If you are serious about beginning to live the life of your dreams right now, take some time to sit with and answer the following questions:  Who am I? What is my unique purpose? What makes me jump out of bed in the morning?  Conduct a moral inventory – what is out of alignment in your life? Where do compromise who you are in order to make other people comfortable or because you think you have to?  Get some support from a life or business coach to help you articulate who you are and what you want.  Then start living your dream life!

Featured photo credit: Christie via flickr.com

Advertising

More by this author

Emma Churchman

Emma is a Creative Business Consultant, and Leadership Coach & Trainer

How to Live a Stress Free Life in a Way Most People Don’t 10 Things No One Will Tell You About Being an Entrepreneur When You Erase Your Limits, These 10 Amazing Things Will Happen The Success Secrets of Entrepreneurs You Need To Know 5 Ways to Live the Life of Your Dreams Right Now

Trending in Communication

1 15 Things You Don’t Need To Apologize For (Though You Think You Do) 2 10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character 3 10 Scientifically Proven Ways To Stay Happy All The Time 4 8 Signs That Your Current Relationship Has No Future 5 How to Learn a Language in Just 30 Minutes a Day

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

Advertising
10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

Advertising

But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

Advertising

Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

Advertising

Read Next