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5 Things You Do That Are Seriously Affecting Your Relationships

5 Things You Do That Are Seriously Affecting Your Relationships

We all know that relationships are hard work, but they don’t have to be. Here are some much needed solutions to the things you are doing that seriously affect your relationships.

You are clingy.

Sorry to say it, but this is the number one thing that is affecting your relationships. We all know what it’s like to have someone cling to everything you do. At first it can be considered cute. The other person might think you really like them and really enjoy spending time with them. BUT eventually it gets to be too much. Being clingy can lead to the exact opposite of what you are going for. It can end up pushing the other person away.

So what is an example of being clingy? Trust me there are many, but lets stick with the most common. For one, you text or call your significant other more than an acceptable amount of times in one hour. It’s totally fine to see how someone is doing throughout the day. However, you don’t want to do this by sending 15 text messages in one hour asking the same questions. It’s okay to go a few hours without constant communication. You don’t want to be an anoyance to your boyfriend or girlfriend, and you definitely don’t want to seem demanding of all their time. Another good example of being clingy is pressuring someone to say they love you, and you haven’t been together very long. Although you might feel that way, don’t force it on them.

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What’s the solution, then, to being clingy? Give them space. You don’t need to change who you are to be less clingy. Let them text or call you sometimes. Every relationship has a natural flow, and you should let yours have one too. Realize that space doesn’t mean the other person doesn’t care about you as much as you care about them. Take the time you would be focusing on them to focus on yourself. This will create a much healthier relationship, and help you get rid of the label clingy.

You are jealous/overprotective.

At times this can be just as bad as being clingy. Being a jealous person in a relationship can really put a strain on things. Sometimes being jealous is just a reaction, and you can’t always help it. Say your significant other is getting hit on right in front of you; this may cause jealousy no matter what you do. However, you don’t need to get worked up about it and cause a scene. Take it as a compliment. That’s your man/woman, and if you are in a trusting committed relationship they should react accordingly. An example of being jealous/overprotective is when you get mad at your bf/gf for having a night out with their friends (without you). You get jealous and tell them they can’t go, or you invite yourself, or even just show up. First of all this is not a good look for you. Now the friends will have an impression of you being a jealous person as well.

What is a solution to being jealous/overprotective? Take a breath before you react. You might be a jealous person, but if you want this to stop affecting your relationships then you need to think before you speak. Ask yourself some questions: Do you trust them? If not, then you really shouldn’t be with them anyways. Is it really as serious as I am making it? If not, don’t cause an argument that doesn’t need to happen.

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You need constant reassurance of love and affection.

It’s normal to want to know how your significant other feels about you. However, constantly asking them is not the way to go about it. If this is you, then you probably ask multiple times how they feel about you. Do you love me? How much do you love me? Are you sure? The list goes on. You also likely need to have constant affection from them (kisses, holding hands, ect.). This can become overbearing for the other person, and will likely lead to the demise of your relationship.

What is the solution to needing constant reassurance? This might take some time, because there is likely an unresolved issue within yourself. No matter what the issue is, take some time and figure out who you truly are. Once you figure out who you are, what makes you tick, what your greatest assets are, ect. then you can have a serious relationship again. When you know your self worth, you won’t need constant reassurance of how your bf/gf feels about you.

You give the impression you only care about sex.

Ah, here it is, the thing that is affecting you from having a real relationship. We all know that sex is an important part of any committed relationship. However, if you give off the impression that sex is all you care about–you probably wont last long.. in the relationship. If this is you, you might even be known as a “friend with benefits,” but you never get further than that. No real feeling develop because you don’t allow them to.

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What’s the solution to this problem affecting your relationships? It’s simple – open up to someone without making everything about sex. You will be amazed to find out how much better sex is when there are feelings attached. So, open up to the possibility that there is more to a relationship than sex.

You are terrified of being alone.

If this is you, you jump from one relationship to the next. You currently have a backup plan in case your current relationship doesn’t work out. This isn’t just related to a committed relationship, it is also true for your friendships. You are literally never alone. This starts to affect your relationships because you don’t have any time apart. It could also cause problems because you seem insecure, and that in itself is enough baggage to ruin a relationship.

What’s the solution to being terrified of being alone? It might sound crazy… but you should spend some time alone. It will be extremely scary at first, but it will be worth it in the end. You always hear people talking about how you can’t love someone else if you don’t love yourself first—this is so true! Time alone with yourself will help you begin to love yourself. Like I said before, figure yourself out first. A relationship won’t last if you rely on the other person to make you feel good all the time. Also, having time away from each other is good. It helps the relationship, and makes the other person realize how much they care about you when you’re gone.

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Featured photo credit: N/A via mrg.bz

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Last Updated on November 5, 2018

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

We’ve all got our enemies; people who take pleasure in causing us pain and misery. Sometimes, the development of an enemy is due to certain differences in your characters and events have led to that. Other times, some people end up hating you for apparently no reason at all.

Regardless of how you got this enemy, as opposed to the paradigm of fighting fire with fire, consider the following reasons and see why you should actually appreciate your enemies. This article will show you not only how to not be bothered by your enemies, but how to actually foster love for them.

Read on to learn the secret.

1. It’s a practical lesson in anger management

To be honest, your enemies are the best people to help you understand your sense of anger management. When it might be true that your enemies have a way of bringing out the worst in you as regards anger, it is also true that they can help you in your quest to have that anger managed. You can’t get truly angry at someone you love and it is only in that time when you get truly annoyed that you learn how to manage it.

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Anger management is more effective when it is in practice and not in theory

Your enemies are like the therapists who you need, but actually don’t want. Inasmuch as you might want to hate them, they provide you an opportunity to control the anger impulse that you have.

2. It’s an opportunity for healthy competition

You might not know it, but your enemies make for great rivals as they help harness the competitor in you (sometimes, you might not even know or bee conversant with this competitive side until you come across an adversary). You get the right motivation to compete and this can go a long way to spur you to victory.

However, while doing so, it is also essential that you remember not to become a worse version of yourself while competing. Working against an adversary is tricky, and you need to ensure that you don’t cause harm to yourself or your morals in the process. Healthy competition is all you need to get out of this.

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3. Their negative comments can help you make a breakthrough

It is true that your enemies never really have much good to say about you. However, in as much as they might be talking out of a place of hate, there might be some truth to what they’re saying.

To wit, whenever you hear something mean or nasty from an enemy, you might want to take a step back and evaluate yourself. There is a chance that what this enemy is saying is true and coming to face that fact is a major step in helping you to become a better person overall. This is another testament to the fact that enemies can be therapists in their own way.

4. Enemies can also be powerful allies

Loving your enemies can also mean making an effort to interact and make peace with them. In the end, if you are able to establish some common ground and patch things up, you’ll have succeeded in making another friend. And who doesn’t need friends?

This can also help you in working with people in the long run. You get to hone your inter-personal skills, and that can be a big plus to your ledger.

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5. It gives you the ability to realize positivity

In a multitude of negativity, a speck of positivity always seems to find its way through.

Sometimes, a knowledge of the fact that you have enemies will also help you to focus on the many positives and good things that are in your life. A lot of times, we neglect what really matters in life. This can be due to being overly concerned with the enemies we have.

However, it is also possible for this acknowledgement to spur you to take a step back and appreciate the goo things (and people who surround you).

6. There might just be a misunderstanding

Sometimes, the reason why you have an enemy might be something very innocuous. You might not have known the cause of this fractured relationship and your enemy will help complete the picture.

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Simply approaching them will help you to understand the reason for the fracture. This, in turn, can help you to work towards healing your relationship moving forward. Misunderstandings happen, and you need to be able to work around them.

7. You learn to appreciate love as well

A constant reminder of the fact that there are enemies will also help you not to take those who love you for granted. Love and hate are two opposing emotions and it is possible for one to momentarily overshadow the other.

However, while you’ll always have enemies, there will also always be people who love you. These people need to be appreciated for what they do for you. Never let the hate projected to you from your enemies take the place of that.

8. Do you really need the hate?

The truth is that enemies bring only toxic emotions and generate bad reactions from you. If you’re truly to live a prosperous life, you can’t really be carrying all this baggage around.

Hate is bad and you should try all you can to get rid of it. It is a well-known fact that nobody can get really far in life while carrying a lot of emotional baggage. Well, hate is the biggest form of emotional baggage there is.

Featured photo credit: rawpixel via unsplash.com

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