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5 Things that you will learn When You Stop Using All Social Media

5 Things that you will learn When You Stop Using All Social Media

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    For many, the thought of being cut off from their beloved social media sites may seem like a clip from a horror movie; anxiety may begin to settle in, fear of the “you-aren’t-connected” monster may be felt, and serious withdrawal symptoms may be experienced. Is it possible to live without knowing what your best friend ate for breakfast? What will you do when you go to the bathroom and there aren’t any “updates” to browse through? And how in the world will you be reminded of the millions of birthdays that you are now aware of? Some of which belong to people that you haven’t talked with in years, but that you somehow feel compelled to wish a “happy birthday” to.

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    What if, just for once in your life, you could experience and savor the quietness of your mind? Have time to gather your thoughts before letting others’ thoughts take hold of your own? What if you did have the courage to live without being “connected” and still feel that you are a part of something greater? You can.

    I left the “social media scene” in 2011 and was on sabbatical for three years. Really, no Twitter, Facebook, Reddit or any other social media for me for three whole years (except for perhaps Pinterest because of the amazing cooking recipes). Here is what I learned from that social media hiatus:

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    1. You miss it for a few weeks and then you move on

    Yes, you will feel withdrawals; you will experience separation anxiety; you will feel out of place; and you will get over it. Like any breakup, it hurts, you miss it, but you move on. The great thing about this breakup is that you have the upper-hand because you ended the relationship. Sure, Facebook will send you a million e-mails telling you to rethink the relationship, and then in a moment of bitterness it will coldly remind you that your account will be closed forever if you don’t log in within a certain period of time; and maybe you will feel compelled to go back. But don’t. Going back with an ex after a breakup is never a good idea anyway.

    2. You feel proud and excited of the newly found free time

    What will you do with all this extra time on your hands? Oh, the possibilities are endless. You can actually pick up the phone, call friends and “catch-up” like the world has done for thousands of years; through verbal communication. You can read a book and not someone else’s thoughts on it. You can wake up in the middle of the night and actually count sheep instead of obsessively refreshing your screen to see if anyone commented on your new profile picture. You will learn that the sky is the limit for your newly found free time.

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    3. You learn that the problem with your lack of time is not social media

    I don’t know how to put this kindly so I will just put it: it’s not the social media – it’s you. You don’t have time to do anything; you haven’t studied for finals, worked on your end-of-year report; written that book you’ve though about writing for the past five years; and you certainly haven’t had the time to sit quietly and be thankful for your blessings. The lack of drive for actually accomplishing what you want to do is the reason for your lack of time, not the amount of time spent on social media. The truth is that if you are busy living life to the fullest, you will know when it is time to shutdown the computer or the phone and focus on what matters without “disconnecting” yourself for good.

    4. You never over-share ever again

    After being “disconnected” for a while, plugging yourself back into the social media world can come as a shock. All of the sudden pictures that you may have been OK posting in the past seem too much for the world to see. The love and hate confessions that you once felt compelled to share with the world are definitely not something that you ever want to recreate again. You come back and are shocked to see how little vulnerability is worth these days. Somehow, during your “disconnection” time, you become wiser. You now know there is no need to over-share, you can just simply “share.”

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    5. You incorporate the word balance into your life

    Extremes are never good. Sometimes our society tends to be an all-or-nothing kind of place and the thought of balance may feel like an uphill battle. Disconnecting yourself from social media will teach you that the most fulfilling life is not one that shuts off the world or one that over-shares everything with the world. Instead, it is one where you are free to be yourself, think your thoughts, and know when to say “that’s enough for today.”

    Featured photo credit: Free for commercial use / No attribution required via pixabay.com

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    Sarita King

    motivational warrior!

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    Published on October 7, 2019

    4 Types of Toxic People and How to Deal with Them

    4 Types of Toxic People and How to Deal with Them

    Can a person really be toxic? Well, a toxic person does not refer to those who are affected by the virus or toxic. To be precise, toxic people are those who are very unsupportive, abusive and unhealthy in nature. Their behavior is filled with venom and you will not feel any sort of gentle breeze in their words.

    In this article, you will learn how to spot out a toxic person, and what you can do to deal with them.

    Signs of Toxic People

    To make it more obvious, I have added some signs of toxic people below.

    Manipulative Behavior And Fabricated Mind

    Toxic people are unable to deal with the bitter truth firmly. If you are going to blurt out their fabrications with proof, they will try to change the whole matter with their manipulative behavior. They will titillate you with sensitive words or they will try to frighten you to get rid of the problems.

    Inhuman And Merciless in Nature

    We know that sharing our thoughts with friends will keep us in good mental state. But, if you are not getting fruitful outcomes, you have to understand that you are spending time with toxic friends.

    Toxic people do not know how to put themselves in other’s shoes. They just put on a mask of simplicity. But, in reality, they don’t have feelings for you. Therefore, you should stop sharing your valuable time with them as you will get nothing except annoyance and silence.

    Hypocrisy at Its Best in Their Nature

    Toxic people have a great hunger for respect, adoration, and fidelity. After dignifying them with these valuable elements, you will get nothing; you will be cheated, manipulated and criticized by them. And, if you are not willing to listen to them, you will be controlled by guilt-tripping.

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    Emotional Outburst And Pathological Excuses

    Toxic people always want to see themselves in the positive end. Therefore, to get their job done, they always have an emotional outburst and emotional excuse to make an impulsive impression upon you.

    We do mistakes and it is our duty to accept those mistakes. But, toxic people have their own rules, they have a tendency to present themselves rationally even after committing a mistake. If someone tries to expose themselves with facts, they show no embarrassment and use emotional excuses as a shield.

    Play with Your Emotion And Gradually Erode It

    Toxic people always try to condescend you with critical jokes and when you try to elicit your thoughts, they just burst out laughing. Teasing becomes an important element in your relationship with toxic person. They even give you backhanded compliments to belittle you.

    Thus, using their toxic mindset, they just gradually diminish your abilities as well as intelligence. And you will have nothing left in your hand other than putting up with these things to maintain the silence.

    Well, you probably might have not seen all these signs in one person as there are different types of toxic people roaming around you.

    4 Types of Toxic People

    To understand it better, I’m mentioning the different types of toxic people here.

    1. Conversational Narcissist

    There are some toxic people who do not know how to give importance to others. They will talk about themselves but never ask you about your condition; they will only recall you when they need you or they are facing some sort of problems.

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    2. Emotional Vampires

    These vampires do not suck your blood but dissipate your emotion. They always talk negatively about everyone and compel you to think in the same pattern that they follow. They mask themselves in such a way in front of you that you gradually start giving importance to them. But, ultimately, you will not get any positive outcome from them.

    3. Monsters with Green eyes

    As discussed earlier, toxic people will give you backhanded compliments. Basically, these are called monsters with green eyes. These monsters feel happy when you feel sad. Therefore, they will always try to belittle your achievements, intelligence, and strengths. Along with it, they give compliments with some negativity in it.

    4. Black-Eyed Cats

    These cats always do mew-mew and try to control everything around them. They love to be pampered but, they do not like if someone goes against them.

    If you are in a relationship with such persons, you will be nagged until you are giving them complete satisfaction. In a nutshell, it must be said that you have to align yourself with them if you want to live with them. But, ultimately, you will lose your mental, conversational and emotional freedom.

    How to Deal with Toxic People

    Living with problems is more convenient than living with toxic people. But, toxic people are parasites and therefore, you will see these monsters rambling around you wherever you go.

    However, if you know how to deal with them, it would be very helpful for you and your life would be much easier to live. We have added some tips to assist you, just check these out.

    Get Rid of Intermittent Reinforcement

    We are very optimistic in nature and over the time, this optimism has reached to such a level that we can happily put up with the ‘close losses’ instead of trying to catch the ‘near wins’.

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    B.F Skinner once did an experiment with three rats. He put them in different cages attached with levers. The lever delivered food when it was pressed. In the 1st cage, the lever always delivered food when the rat pressed it. In case of the 2nd cage, food was never delivered by the lever even after pressing it, therefore, the rat understood the lesson and never tried to get food. But, in the third cage, the lever delivered food randomly and as a result, the rat was completely hooked and fixated. He constantly pushed it but didn’t get the food always.

    Well, this is called intermittent relationship and the same thing happens in human relationships where toxic people give you intermittent reinforcement and your heart gets pumped up with optimism. As a result, you will be hooked and your life will be fixated at some point with toxic people.

    You should learn to move on without them and live your life happily because random happiness cannot bring permanent relief.

    Never Make Too Many Allowances And Pardons

    Well, sympathetic attitude is very good and it is also a fact that sometimes toxic people suffer from genuine depression, physical as well as mental illness. But, you have to set a boundary and you cannot allow people to get away with anything so easily.

    If you make too many allowances as well as pardons, it would not be good for you in the long-term. Yes, there are some people who are facing extreme hardships and they are not even toxic in nature. But, all you can do is show some genuine compassion keeping yourself within the boundaries.

    Always Try to Ignore Their Toxic Traps

    Demotivational words are the primary weapon that they frequently use in their implications to detract you. Along with this, they throw words in such a way that you start feeling guilty. Well, you must understand that these are just toxic traps and you should not step on it.

    Always remember that you will have full access to freedom if you stop taking things personally. They not only do this with you but also with everyone. You just have to keep in mind that these toxic words are not based on truth but on their own mental reproduction. So, you just have to ignore this and focus on your work.

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    Show Them Your Beautiful Smile Not the Curves on Your Forehead

    Toxic people have an aptitude to attack mentally, mock disgracefully and diminish shamefully. But, you will not be affected if you don’t surrender yourself. Show them that you are not getting belittled or insulted.

    We all have our problems and we also know that we are capable of solving these problems. Therefore, the matter entirely depends upon us and if we don’t allow these vampires to enter into our life or play with our emotions, they cannot suck our happiness. So, I’d suggest you show your beautiful smile when they buzz around you.

    Don’t Suppress Yourself

    Toxic people will intimidate, bully, pass guilt, and forcefully take money from you to get their job done. They know very well that they are doing wrong and at the same time, they are acquainted with the concept that we are incapable of doing anything against them.

    Most of the time, we keep ourselves quiet until someone speaks up. And because of this suppressive mindset, we are gradually being dragged into their mind games.

    Well, we have to change this concept as it infuses courage into them. We need to obstruct them with firm minds and make them realize the negative consequences of their behavior.[1] If they are upsetting you, just tell them directly. Your direct statement might open a new gate of opportunity that will allow you to help them if they are suffering from genuine problems.

    So, why are you still tolerating these toxic people? Follow the tips mentioned above and deal with them in the right way.

    Featured photo credit: Devin Avery via unsplash.com

    Reference

    [1] Tips for Grooming: Change Your Fixed Negative Belief

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