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5 Things that you will learn When You Stop Using All Social Media

5 Things that you will learn When You Stop Using All Social Media

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    For many, the thought of being cut off from their beloved social media sites may seem like a clip from a horror movie; anxiety may begin to settle in, fear of the “you-aren’t-connected” monster may be felt, and serious withdrawal symptoms may be experienced. Is it possible to live without knowing what your best friend ate for breakfast? What will you do when you go to the bathroom and there aren’t any “updates” to browse through? And how in the world will you be reminded of the millions of birthdays that you are now aware of? Some of which belong to people that you haven’t talked with in years, but that you somehow feel compelled to wish a “happy birthday” to.

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    What if, just for once in your life, you could experience and savor the quietness of your mind? Have time to gather your thoughts before letting others’ thoughts take hold of your own? What if you did have the courage to live without being “connected” and still feel that you are a part of something greater? You can.

    I left the “social media scene” in 2011 and was on sabbatical for three years. Really, no Twitter, Facebook, Reddit or any other social media for me for three whole years (except for perhaps Pinterest because of the amazing cooking recipes). Here is what I learned from that social media hiatus:

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    1. You miss it for a few weeks and then you move on

    Yes, you will feel withdrawals; you will experience separation anxiety; you will feel out of place; and you will get over it. Like any breakup, it hurts, you miss it, but you move on. The great thing about this breakup is that you have the upper-hand because you ended the relationship. Sure, Facebook will send you a million e-mails telling you to rethink the relationship, and then in a moment of bitterness it will coldly remind you that your account will be closed forever if you don’t log in within a certain period of time; and maybe you will feel compelled to go back. But don’t. Going back with an ex after a breakup is never a good idea anyway.

    2. You feel proud and excited of the newly found free time

    What will you do with all this extra time on your hands? Oh, the possibilities are endless. You can actually pick up the phone, call friends and “catch-up” like the world has done for thousands of years; through verbal communication. You can read a book and not someone else’s thoughts on it. You can wake up in the middle of the night and actually count sheep instead of obsessively refreshing your screen to see if anyone commented on your new profile picture. You will learn that the sky is the limit for your newly found free time.

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    3. You learn that the problem with your lack of time is not social media

    I don’t know how to put this kindly so I will just put it: it’s not the social media – it’s you. You don’t have time to do anything; you haven’t studied for finals, worked on your end-of-year report; written that book you’ve though about writing for the past five years; and you certainly haven’t had the time to sit quietly and be thankful for your blessings. The lack of drive for actually accomplishing what you want to do is the reason for your lack of time, not the amount of time spent on social media. The truth is that if you are busy living life to the fullest, you will know when it is time to shutdown the computer or the phone and focus on what matters without “disconnecting” yourself for good.

    4. You never over-share ever again

    After being “disconnected” for a while, plugging yourself back into the social media world can come as a shock. All of the sudden pictures that you may have been OK posting in the past seem too much for the world to see. The love and hate confessions that you once felt compelled to share with the world are definitely not something that you ever want to recreate again. You come back and are shocked to see how little vulnerability is worth these days. Somehow, during your “disconnection” time, you become wiser. You now know there is no need to over-share, you can just simply “share.”

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    5. You incorporate the word balance into your life

    Extremes are never good. Sometimes our society tends to be an all-or-nothing kind of place and the thought of balance may feel like an uphill battle. Disconnecting yourself from social media will teach you that the most fulfilling life is not one that shuts off the world or one that over-shares everything with the world. Instead, it is one where you are free to be yourself, think your thoughts, and know when to say “that’s enough for today.”

    Featured photo credit: Free for commercial use / No attribution required via pixabay.com

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    Sarita King

    motivational warrior!

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    Last Updated on September 18, 2020

    13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

    13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

    For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

    “We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

    “It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

    Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

    You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

    Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

    1. Take a step back and evaluate

    When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

    1. What is the problem?
    2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
    3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
    4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
    5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

    Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

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    2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

    If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

    At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

    Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

    3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

    Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

    4. Process your thoughts/emotions

    Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

    1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
    2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
    3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
    4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

    5. Acknowledge your thoughts

    Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

    By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

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    Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

    6. Give yourself a break

    If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

    7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

    A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

    Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

    After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

    8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

    As Helen Keller once said,

    “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

    Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

    9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

    In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

    1. What’s the situation?
    2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
    3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
    4. Take action on your next steps!

    After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

    10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

    A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

    Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

    For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

    11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

    No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

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    12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

    No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

    13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

    There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

    After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

    Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

    Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

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