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5 Things You Don’t Need To Feel Embarrassed About

5 Things You Don’t Need To Feel Embarrassed About

Do you find yourself apologizing or feeling embarrassed for things out of your control? Being a people-pleaser can be exhausting. We are all human and need to realize that not everything will go to plan. Here are 5 things you should stop feeling about about, though many people do:

1. Mistakes while learning

There will be times when you have people above you (a boss) or even next to you (a coworker) that will get really irritated with you for “ruining” something “crucial”. In five years from now, will your blunder cause the company to crumble? Most likely, the answer is no. Errors are bound to happen when you have on your training wheels.

Instead of apologizing to the angered person, try: “Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I am still learning, and I appreciate your patience as I go through this learning experience.” What is the worst they can say back to that? Unless she is extremely narcissistic, she will realize that even though she may have done it right, we all have to start somewhere; it will take time to work out the kinks.

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Winston Churchill once said, “Continuous effort—not strength or intelligence—is the key to unlocking potential.” Even if you make mistakes and get a slap on the wrist, persevere and push on. You do not need to be embarrassed for learning from your mistakes

2. Food choices

People are different and have different taste buds. Some people find it appalling that someone would willing to choose to be vegan, while others can’t imagine life any other way.  Some may find it astounding that someone can live their whole lives downing a steak every night.

It shouldn’t matter why you have made this food decision. Whether it is healthy or not, food is a choice and it is a part of life. It is simply a personal choice that people make for their own reasons. You do not need to be embarrassed for food you do or do not like. Tell them, “It is a personal choice I have made, and I am committed to it.”

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3. Your past

“I can choose to let it define me, confine me, refine me, outshine me, or I can choose to move on and leave it behind me.” Allowing positive experiences to define, confine, refine, and outshine you may cause you to be caught up in the past and unable to truly live in the present. Whether your history is positive, negative, or somewhere in between, don’t hone in on the negative experiences and let it reflect your current behavior.

This idea can apply to relationships or jobs. If you start a new relationship after dating Person X, don’t get upset when Person Y does your relationship differently.  There will be new experiences, personalities, expectations, and schedules. When you start something new, take your past experiences with you, but don’t let it define your new start. Doing so will only lead to disappointment. It is a new start for a reason.

Your defeats and accomplishments (from Person/Job X) bring new insight and vision to the relationship, because remember, your new Person has a Person X as well. If you find yourself apologizing/throwing a pity party for yourself, STOP. Let the past go, and start fresh.

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4.The cleanliness of your car/home/work space

You offer to drive somewhere and when everyone gets in the car, you realize your Starbucks and Chik-Fil-A bag are still on the floor. Perhaps you have people over unexpectedly and the kids’ clothes are on the floor; there are dishes in the sink, and you haven’t dusted in weeks. So what?

Think about it this way: everyone has a “messy” aspect of their life. Maybe their home is spotless, but the relationship with their spouse is messy. Someone’s car gets washed once a week, but his/her work life could use some help. No one on Earth lives a perfectly “clean” life in every aspect.

We don’t apologize to others about our personal pitfalls (relationships, jobs, friendships, etc.), so why must we apologize for our homes or cars being a little dirty? By being outwardly embarrassed, it only brings more attention to the fact!

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5. Putting yourself first

Sometimes we feel pressured to say “yes” to every social outing, trip, or commitment to feel a part of the group or because we don’t want to let others down. Oftentimes, we only commit because we don’t want to feel left out. In some cases, we tend to think, “No one else will do it as successfully as I will, so I am the only one for the job.” This could be as simple as a night out, or something more time consuming like a higher position in your company.

When you get in to this situation, ask yourself, “What are the pros and cons? What else do I have on my plate that requires undivided attention? What will I gain from this commitment?” If you can honestly answer these questions and the outcome is positive, share these answers with the person who asked you to commit. If you find yourself saying no to something or making up lies to get out of it, tell them the truth, and don’t apologize.

You will feel much better in the long run if you are honest with them and yourself. If you’re not up to a voluntary obligation, you don’t have to be. You can politely deny the person’s request, whether it is a night out on the town or being team mom, without feeling badly about it. It is okay to be selfish from time to time. Put yourself first.

Featured photo credit: Young man wearing a fox mask sitting on sofa in front of a window. via shutterstock.com

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5 Things You Don’t Need To Feel Embarrassed About

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Last Updated on October 9, 2018

27 Ways to Instantly Feel Better When You’re Down

27 Ways to Instantly Feel Better When You’re Down

Who has never gone through some ups and downs in the life? But some people can feel better in a quicker way than others because they’ve found their own remedies to heal the bad feelings.

If you haven’t found yours, these ways will help you instantly feel better and ditch that negative self talk when you’re feeling bad about yourself:

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  1. Listen to the songs you loved when you were in high school or university, this will recall you of the old good times.
  2. Write something. Write down how you feel as a way to express your thoughts if you don’t feel like talking to anyone.
  3. Draw something. Draw anything you want because no one’s going to judge your drawing skills.
  4. Read the postcards or letters your friends or family sent you before, remind yourself there are people who always remember you.
  5. Silently think of a day or moment which you truly enjoyed and try to recapture that very first feeling. Was it the day of your graduation? The moment you traveled with your loved one?
  6. Take out your photo albums and go over your childhood photos.
  7. Cry when you feel like doing so. There’s nothing wrong with crying; cry out all your fear and stress and just face the truth after crying.
  8. Sing loudly like no one can hear you. Do you know that in Japan, people always sing karaoke to relieve stress?
  9. Cook a nice meal for yourself or for your family.
  10. Read your previous diary entries and look at your great memories.
  11. Dress up nicely to feel happier.
  12. Don’t stay in your bed! Get your laptop or a book and sit in a coffee place.
  13. Take a walk outside and feel the fresh air.
  14. Sweat yourself! Go jogging or play some sports.
  15. Pick up the musical instrument you used to play a lot and start to play it.
  16. Tidy up your desk or wardrobe, you’ll feel good that you’re being productive and actually doing something.
  17. Watch some funny videos, sure you can find a lot of them on Youtube.
  18. Eat something you like, be it a chocolate cake, or an ice-cream. Just please yourself with the flavour you like.
  19. Re-read your favorite book and write down the sentences or passages that you love.
  20. Watch a new movie, there must be a movie which you’ve always interested in but had no time to watch it.
  21. Do something nice that no one will notice, say picking up a rubbish in the street and throw it to a trash bin.
  22. Call your best friend and just talk whatever you want! Human beings are social animals after all, connecting with people close to you will make you feel better.
  23. Do voluntary work and help people in need, you’ll feel happy and satisfied.
  24. Get drunk with your close friends at home – a safe place for you to get drunk and get crazy. Let loose and have fun with your very close friends.
  25. Write an email or a note to a friend who you care about.
  26. Get out of your routine life and meet new friends. Get out of your comfort zone! Meeting new people can give you new inspirations in life.
  27. Look into the mirror and smile. Act like today’s already a wonderful day. How we act affects how we feel. It’s difficult to go on feeling sad if you’re trying to smile!

Remember:

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It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.  — Epictetus

If you want to feel better, change what you’re doing because obviously what you’re doing doesn’t make you happy!

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Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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