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5 Things You Don’t Need To Feel Embarrassed About

5 Things You Don’t Need To Feel Embarrassed About

Do you find yourself apologizing or feeling embarrassed for things out of your control? Being a people-pleaser can be exhausting. We are all human and need to realize that not everything will go to plan. Here are 5 things you should stop feeling about about, though many people do:

1. Mistakes while learning

There will be times when you have people above you (a boss) or even next to you (a coworker) that will get really irritated with you for “ruining” something “crucial”. In five years from now, will your blunder cause the company to crumble? Most likely, the answer is no. Errors are bound to happen when you have on your training wheels.

Instead of apologizing to the angered person, try: “Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I am still learning, and I appreciate your patience as I go through this learning experience.” What is the worst they can say back to that? Unless she is extremely narcissistic, she will realize that even though she may have done it right, we all have to start somewhere; it will take time to work out the kinks.

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Winston Churchill once said, “Continuous effort—not strength or intelligence—is the key to unlocking potential.” Even if you make mistakes and get a slap on the wrist, persevere and push on. You do not need to be embarrassed for learning from your mistakes

2. Food choices

People are different and have different taste buds. Some people find it appalling that someone would willing to choose to be vegan, while others can’t imagine life any other way.  Some may find it astounding that someone can live their whole lives downing a steak every night.

It shouldn’t matter why you have made this food decision. Whether it is healthy or not, food is a choice and it is a part of life. It is simply a personal choice that people make for their own reasons. You do not need to be embarrassed for food you do or do not like. Tell them, “It is a personal choice I have made, and I am committed to it.”

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3. Your past

“I can choose to let it define me, confine me, refine me, outshine me, or I can choose to move on and leave it behind me.” Allowing positive experiences to define, confine, refine, and outshine you may cause you to be caught up in the past and unable to truly live in the present. Whether your history is positive, negative, or somewhere in between, don’t hone in on the negative experiences and let it reflect your current behavior.

This idea can apply to relationships or jobs. If you start a new relationship after dating Person X, don’t get upset when Person Y does your relationship differently.  There will be new experiences, personalities, expectations, and schedules. When you start something new, take your past experiences with you, but don’t let it define your new start. Doing so will only lead to disappointment. It is a new start for a reason.

Your defeats and accomplishments (from Person/Job X) bring new insight and vision to the relationship, because remember, your new Person has a Person X as well. If you find yourself apologizing/throwing a pity party for yourself, STOP. Let the past go, and start fresh.

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4.The cleanliness of your car/home/work space

You offer to drive somewhere and when everyone gets in the car, you realize your Starbucks and Chik-Fil-A bag are still on the floor. Perhaps you have people over unexpectedly and the kids’ clothes are on the floor; there are dishes in the sink, and you haven’t dusted in weeks. So what?

Think about it this way: everyone has a “messy” aspect of their life. Maybe their home is spotless, but the relationship with their spouse is messy. Someone’s car gets washed once a week, but his/her work life could use some help. No one on Earth lives a perfectly “clean” life in every aspect.

We don’t apologize to others about our personal pitfalls (relationships, jobs, friendships, etc.), so why must we apologize for our homes or cars being a little dirty? By being outwardly embarrassed, it only brings more attention to the fact!

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5. Putting yourself first

Sometimes we feel pressured to say “yes” to every social outing, trip, or commitment to feel a part of the group or because we don’t want to let others down. Oftentimes, we only commit because we don’t want to feel left out. In some cases, we tend to think, “No one else will do it as successfully as I will, so I am the only one for the job.” This could be as simple as a night out, or something more time consuming like a higher position in your company.

When you get in to this situation, ask yourself, “What are the pros and cons? What else do I have on my plate that requires undivided attention? What will I gain from this commitment?” If you can honestly answer these questions and the outcome is positive, share these answers with the person who asked you to commit. If you find yourself saying no to something or making up lies to get out of it, tell them the truth, and don’t apologize.

You will feel much better in the long run if you are honest with them and yourself. If you’re not up to a voluntary obligation, you don’t have to be. You can politely deny the person’s request, whether it is a night out on the town or being team mom, without feeling badly about it. It is okay to be selfish from time to time. Put yourself first.

Featured photo credit: Young man wearing a fox mask sitting on sofa in front of a window. via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on December 2, 2018

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

When giving a presentation or speech, you have to engage your audience effectively in order to truly get your point across. Unlike a written editorial or newsletter, your speech is fleeting; once you’ve said everything you set out to say, you don’t get a second chance to have your voice heard in that specific arena.

You need to make sure your audience hangs on to every word you say, from your introduction to your wrap-up. You can do so by:

1. Connecting them with each other

Picture your typical rock concert. What’s the first thing the singer says to the crowd after jumping out on stage? “Hello (insert city name here)!” Just acknowledging that he’s coherent enough to know where he is is enough for the audience to go wild and get into the show.

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It makes each individual feel as if they’re a part of something bigger. The same goes for any public speaking event. When an audience hears, “You’re all here because you care deeply about wildlife preservation,” it gives them a sense that they’re not just there to listen, but they’re there to connect with the like-minded people all around them.

2. Connect with their emotions

Speakers always try to get their audience emotionally involved in whatever topic they’re discussing. There are a variety of ways in which to do this, such as using statistics, stories, pictures or videos that really show the importance of the topic at hand.

For example, showing pictures of the aftermath of an accident related to drunk driving will certainly send a specific message to an audience of teenagers and young adults. While doing so might be emotionally nerve-racking to the crowd, it may be necessary to get your point across and engage them fully.

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3. Keep going back to the beginning

Revisit your theme throughout your presentation. Although you should give your audience the credit they deserve and know that they can follow along, linking back to your initial thesis can act as a subconscious reminder of why what you’re currently telling them is important.

On the other hand, if you simply mention your theme or the point of your speech at the beginning and never mention it again, it gives your audience the impression that it’s not really that important.

4. Link to your audience’s motivation

After you’ve acknowledged your audience’s common interests in being present, discuss their motivation for being there. Be specific. Using the previous example, if your audience clearly cares about wildlife preservation, discuss what can be done to help save endangered species’ from extinction.

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Don’t just give them cold, hard facts; use the facts to make a point that they can use to better themselves or the world in some way.

5. Entertain them

While not all speeches or presentations are meant to be entertaining in a comedic way, audiences will become thoroughly engaged in anecdotes that relate to the overall theme of the speech. We discussed appealing to emotions, and that’s exactly what a speaker sets out to do when he tells a story from his past or that of a well-known historical figure.

Speakers usually tell more than one story in order to show that the first one they told isn’t simply an anomaly, and that whatever outcome they’re attempting to prove will consistently reoccur, given certain circumstances.

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6. Appeal to loyalty

Just like the musician mentioning the town he’s playing in will get the audience ready to rock, speakers need to appeal to their audience’s loyalty to their country, company, product or cause. Show them how important it is that they’re present and listening to your speech by making your words hit home to each individual.

In doing so, the members of your audience will feel as if you’re speaking directly to them while you’re addressing the entire crowd.

7. Tell them the benefits of the presentation

Early on in your presentation, you should tell your audience exactly what they’ll learn, and exactly how they’ll learn it. Don’t expect them to listen if they don’t have clear-cut information to listen for. On the other hand, if they know what to listen for, they’ll be more apt to stay engaged throughout your entire presentation so they don’t miss anything.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm4.staticflickr.com

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