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5 Things Commander Shepard Taught Me About Perseverance

5 Things Commander Shepard Taught Me About Perseverance

Ah, Commander Shepard. What made him such an inspiring game character? I think it was the fact that he never gave up. Whether it was against Saren, Sovereign, Harbinger, or the Illusive Man, he always brought his best. For fans of the games, this is true whether you went down the paragon or renegade road. One (usually the latter) just got it done with a bit more, ahem, death and destruction. So, what did Shepard and his story teach me about maintaining the kind of perseverance that leads to success? I’ll let you know below

1. You Don’t Have To Be Anybody Special.

I mean sure, Shepard was a member of the elite N7 special forces and he later became a Spectre, but in relation to the people who either followed him or wanted him dead, he might as well have been just another guy off the street. To me, Commander Shepard was the archetypal “leader.” He had the ability to make key decisions and deal with the consequences. He wasn’t the best shot on his team; that title goes to Garrus. He wasn’t the best assassin; that would probably go to Thane. Nor was he the strongest (Wrex), or the smartest (Liara or Mordin), or even the best soldier (Zaeed or maybe Grunt). His companions, taken individually, were each better at their specialty than Shepard was. What made Shepard special, besides his leadership ability, was his tendency to put his own drama aside to deal with his friends. So, while each member of his squad may have been better than him on a singular basis, it was Shepard himself who ensured that all of the pieces fit. It was he who allowed Wrex and Garrus and Tali and Legion to work together. I think that’s a pretty good lesson to take with you into real life. While you may not be the best at anything, you can still go incredibly far by being a good person, someone who brings folks together rather than pushes them apart. Couple that with decent leadership skills, and you might just make a future for yourself.

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2. You Should Rely On Your Friends.

As much as I pumped up Shepard’s ability to be the shoulder to cry on for all of those around him, it was often a two way street. Without his friends, there’s no way he could have accomplished anything, probably best revealed by the end of Mass Effect 2, where you literally fail the mission if you didn’t put enough time into growing and cultivating your squad. Often, the best way to persevere through life’s most turbulent curve balls is not to try and take it on all by yourself, but to mitigate the blow by spreading it amongst you and your loved ones. I don’t mean to say that you should try and transfer all of your pain and suffering onto someone else and make it their burden too, but that you should always seek out advice and support from those you trust. As Shepard taught us, you aren’t the best at everything, or perhaps even at anything, and thus it behooves you to grow friendships in order to make up for your deficiencies. While something may seem catastrophic to you, your friend might have just the right tools to help you get your life back in gear. Just make sure they’re not too busy working on some calibrations to help you out.

3. Don’t Let Your Doubts Keep You From Your Goals.

While the Shepard in Mass Effect and Mass Effect 2 was relatively confident (for the most part), the third game revealed more of his doubts to us, which makes sense seeing as it was by far the most apocalyptic in the trilogy. Even still, when everything was crashing down around him (literally most of the time), he managed to stay focused on immediate goals. When Earth fell, he went straight to looking for a super weapon that might destroy the Reapers. When the Illusive Man turned against him, Shepard immediately began planning how to bring about his demise. Nightmares plagued Shepard throughout the third game, but he didn’t let them distract him from the endgame. In life, we often let our intangible doubts keep us from accomplishing real things. Shepard had the enviable trait of being able to acknowledge those doubts and carry on anyways, come what may. I don’t think I’m there yet, but I strive to keep a similar mindset everyday and so should you.

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4. You Can Recover From Crushing Defeats.

In case you forgot, Commander Shepard died at the beginning of Mass Effect 2. Luckily for all of us, he was brought back to life thanks to the magic of science fiction medicine and lots of money. Not only did he die, but as a consequence he lost his ship and most of his crew from Mass Effect 1. Most people would take such a crushing blow as a sign to slow their roll a bit, but the revived Shepard forged on ahead anyways. I’m not sure if I’ve experienced anything I would call a crushing blow yet, but I have had my share of losses. It can be incredibly tough to see past your failures and move on towards the future, but those who can are better able to make up for past mishaps. In Shepard’s case, he used his defeats as a form of motivation. When he lost his ship, he didn’t call it quits. He got a new ship and a new crew, and took the fight directly to the party responsible for his initial defeat, destroying their ship and their base in the process. I’m not saying that you should go out of your way to crush everything responsible for your defeats. While that might be appropriate in some cases, in others it will suffice to just keep trying to accomplish what you failed to do in the first place. Though if you do happen to get the opportunity to tell off a few of the folks who have prevented your ascension to the top, be my guest and have at it!

5. Never Let “The Powers That Be” Dictate Your Journey.

We as a species are incredibly and hypocritically complex. On the one hand, we want our freedom and individuality. On the other, we often like being told what to do or being given direction of some sort. Otherwise, why would we have politicians, managers, bosses, etc. While they certainly have their uses, it’s also important to maintain your own identity, to not let those above you completely control your destiny. Shepard expertly straddled the line between willful disobedience and loyal employee. He didn’t take any crap from his superiors, and when they ordered him to do something ridiculous or illogical, he’d tell them off and get the job done his way. The right way. On the other hand, he never truly disobeyed his superiors, always completing the tasks they truly wanted him to accomplish. Shepard’s recalcitrant attitude towards those with dictatorial personalities certainly served him well. Had he blindly listened to all of the blustering words that spewed out of the mouths of the Council, Sovereign, the Illusive Man, Harbinger, and the Catalyst, there’s no doubt he would have failed in his mission.

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While there were multiple possible endings to Mass Effect 3, I like to believe that the “destroy” ending is the canonical one, because it shows Shepard going against the will of a supposedly superior being one last time, defeating the reapers once and for all, and miraculously surviving the experience. Shepard knew when to follow orders, and he knew when he was getting his chain yanked by untrustworthy entities concerned only for their own gain. That is something you must be on the lookout for in your life as well. Be a good soldier when necessary, but don’t be taken advantage of. While you might not save the galaxy like Shepard did, you’ll certainly be more successful as a result of your ability to persevere in pursuing the things that you know are right for you.

And with that, as Commander Shepard would say, “I should go.”

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Featured photo credit: Mass Effect 3/ dennisvillanueva84 via flickr.com

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Last Updated on January 16, 2020

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

The way you feel about yourself greatly influences how you live and interact with others. If you are confident about yourself, you tend to see yourself positively and actually enjoy spending time with and around people. You don’t feel self-conscious or awkward around others, and that allows you to live your fullest and happiest life.

However, if you’re drowning in a sea of self-doubt, hesitancy and shyness, you often withdraw and isolate yourself from others and avoid interacting and connecting with people. That anxiety you feel in the pit of your stomach when you are around people is holding you back greatly and it is not good for your emotional health and overall well-being. You need to do something about it if you are low in self-confidence or have friends or family members who are not confident.

“Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone, it’s walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone” – Anonymous

Here are simple, practical tips to boost your confidence right now and make you feel and act your best.

1. Stop labeling yourself as awkward, timid or shy.

When you label yourself as awkward, timid or shy, you sub-consciously tell your mind to act accordingly and psychologically feel inclined to live up to those expectations. Instead of labeling and entertaining negative self-talk, visualize and affirm yourself as confident and strong. Close your eyes for a minute and visualize yourself in different situation as you would like to be.

Be your own cheerleader. Experts believe that positive affirmation and good mental practices like picturing yourself winning or achieving a goal can lead to greater feelings of self-assurance and prepare your brain for success.[1] As the saying goes, “seeing is believing.” Picture yourself as confident and soon enough you will begin to manifest behavior that gives evidence to this new ‘fact.’

2. Recognize that the world is not focused on you (unless, of course, you are Kanye West).

That means you don’t have to be excessively sensitive about who you are or what you are doing (or not doing). You are not on the center stage; there is no need for preoccupation with self and perfectionism. As rap music star Rocko sings, “You just do you and I will do me, aight?”

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Forget about trying to please everyone or being perfect. Trying to be perfect and being a people-pleaser puts too much pressure on you and creates unnecessary anxiety. Besides, people are too preoccupied with their own issues to pay much attention to your every move unless, of course, you are a mega famous, super celebrity like Beyonce or Kanye West.

3. Focus on other people as opposed to yourself.

If you are low on confidence, self-conscious, nervous and shy in social situations, focus your attention on other people and what they are saying or doing instead of focusing on your own awkwardness.

For example, think about what it is that is interesting about the person who’s the centre of the party or the guy or girl you are talking with. Prompt them to talk more about themselves and be genuinely curious and interested in what they say. You will instantly come across as confident and warmhearted.

People generally want to talk about themselves, be heard and understood. They will love it when you’re eager and willing to listen to them and really hear what they have to say.

This habit of focusing more on what you love in others as opposed to what you dislike in yourself will not only help you become more assertive and comfortable in virtually all social situations, but also instantly make you feel great about yourself.

4. Know (and accept) yourself for who you are.

Chinese military general, strategist and philosopher Sun Tzu, author of the internationally acclaimed book The Art of War, said, “Know yourself and you will win all battles.” Even in the battle with lack of confidence, you will need to know yourself to win.

Knowing yourself starts with understanding that people are not all the same, neither are all social situation suitable for everyone. You might not be confident in large gatherings, but you could be bold and confident in one-on-one and small group interactions. We all have our own unique gifts and unique ways of expressing ourselves. Embrace yours!

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Introverts, for example, have a quiet confidence that is, unfortunately, often confused for shyness. They are naturally low key and prefer to spend time alone. However, this natural disposition affords them certain unique gifts, such as an ability to listen better than most people and notice things that others don’t.

Your uniqueness is where your strength and advantage lies. You won’t be comfortable and confident in all situations all the time. Albert Einstein said,

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

5. Crack a smile.

If there is one sure way to instantly boost your confidence, it’s cracking a smile. Christine Clapp, a public speaking expert at The George Washington University, says that flashing those pretty, pearly white teeth will immediately make you appear both confident and composed. But, the effect of smiling is not just external. Studies show that smiling can also help nix feelings of stress and pave the way for a happier and more relaxed you.[2]

Not a bad return for something seemingly so trite, wouldn’t you agree?

6. Break a sweat—with exercise.

Working out is another great way to make yourself feel amazing and confident. Science has shown that exercising increases your endorphins, helps reduce stress, tones your muscles and makes you feel happy and confident.[3]

And hey, all you have to do is take a walk a few times a week and you’ll see the benefits. What seems to matter—as far as your confidence goes—is whether you break a sweat, not how strenuous your session is, which is pretty cool. Start working out now.

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7. Groom yourself.

This might seem mundane, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and shave can have on your confidence and self-image. And when you spritz on a scent, the boost on confidence and self-esteem is incredible. As it turns out, your favorite fragrance does more than make you smell oh-so-nice.

A study found that a fragrance can inspire confidence in men. Interestingly, the study also found that the more a man likes the fragrance, the more confident he might feel. Another study found that 90% of women feel more confident while wearing a scent than those who go fragrance-free.

8. Dress nicely.

Another one that might seem trite, but it works. If you dress nicely, you’ll instantly feel good about yourself and give your confidence a real boost. That is largely because you’ll feel attractive, presentable and sometimes even successful in nice clothes.

While dressing nicely means something different for everyone, it does not necessarily mean wearing $500 designer outfits. It means wearing clothes that are clean, that you are comfortable in and that are nice-looking and presentable, including casual clothes.

9. Do activities you enjoy.

Whether it is reading a book, playing a musical instrument, riding your bicycle or going fishing, do what you really enjoy and what makes you truly happy often. It will boost your self-esteem, soothe your ego and allow you to identify with your gifts and talents. That will in turn bolster your self-belief and grow your confidence exponentially.

You might not become popular for doing what you love, but you might not even want to be popular at all. Being popular doesn’t make you happy; doing what you love does.

10. Prepare for the possibility of rejection / setback.

Late World No. 1 professional tennis player Arthur Ashe said, “One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation.” You need to prepare for the possibility of rejection and setback.

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Why?

Everybody suffers rejection and setback at one point or another. You are not exempted. The question on your mind, therefore, should not be if you will be rejected, but how you will handle rejection when it comes.

Prepare yourself adequately in every situation to minimize the risk and effect of rejection and so that your confidence is not broken. For example, learn public speaking and rehearse what you are going to say beforehand if you have landed a public speaking engagement. That way, you are sure of yourself and confident you have what it takes to hack it. If you are rejected, don’t take it personally.

Rejection and setbacks happen to the best of us. Take it as a learning experience. Learn from your mistakes and move on.

11. Face uncomfortable situations square in the face.

Don’t run away from uncomfortable situations. Running away from people or situations because you feel scared, shy or timid only confirms and reinforces your shyness. Instead, face the situation that makes you uneasy square in the face. For example, go ahead and talk to that person you are afraid to approach, or go straight to the front of your yoga class! What’s the worst that can happen?

Prepare and be ready for any eventuality. The more you face your fears, the more you realize you are stronger than you thought and the more confident you get. This simple, yet admittedly courageous, act makes you unstoppable. You get comfortable being uncomfortable and begin to feel like you can take on the world. And that is the hallmark of someone destined for great things.

12. Sit up straight and walk tall—you are awesome!

Yes, sit up straight and believe you are awesome. Don’t slump in your chair or slouch your shoulders. Experts say the right stance can not only keep your self-esteem and mood lifted, but also lead to more confidence in your own thoughts.[4]

The way to sit is to open up your chest and keep your head level so that you look and feel poised and assured. And when you get up, stand tall and walk like you’re on a mission. People who sit up straight and walk tall are more attractive and instantly feel more confident. Try it now: you’ll feel fierce and confident just by sitting up straight and walking tall.

Featured photo credit: Freshh Connection via unsplash.com

Reference

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