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5 Reasons Why You Should Never Follow Your Dreams

5 Reasons Why You Should Never Follow Your Dreams

Dreams. The magical elixir of self-help books, magazines and blogs. “Follow your dreams” they chirp cheerfully. “Live your dream life” they proclaim, tempting you with images of deserted white beaches framed by palm trees and a perfectly positioned piña colada. These self-proclaimed truth tomes practically scream at you to drop everything Right This Minute and pursue the yellow brick road leading you to a life filled with unbeknownst passion and joy. All you ever wanted, and more!

Just in case the piña colada didn’t sell it to you in the first instance there are a plethora of real life anecdotes detailing the stories of people who did in fact drop everything and follow their passion. The bank teller who had a Come-to-Jesus moment over his morning bowl of cheerios, handing in his resignation that very day. Effectively saying cheerio to the 9-5 grind to begin a new life in Africa helping displaced refugees. The stressed out mother who had her very own Oprah ‘aha’ moment and came up with a new business idea that revolutionized childcare, netting her a cool 50 million dollars when she sold the business to Google. There are literally thousands of these types of stories about people who waltzed off into the sunset and lived happily ever after just by following their dreams.

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But really, what’s so great about following your dreams? Here are 5 reasons why you should just keep on doing what you do and never follow your dreams.

1. You will have an abundance of free time.

Think of all that extra time you would have to take out of your already packed to the gills schedule to implement those next steps that are required in dream following. No more sitting on the couch and watching Mob Wives as you tuck into a bag of potato chips. There’s dream’s to be followed! Think of all those nights you would have to stay up late researching ideas for your new business concept, putting time and energy into your passion project. Think how tired you would be the next day. Urgh. More work on top of the work that you already do all day without getting paid? Sounds less like a dream and more like a nightmare.

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2. You will be safe.

Do you really want to give up that regular paycheck on a whim? How do you know your dream will succeed? Just think how embarrassing it would be to give up your comfortable office cubicle after announcing you are off to save the rainforest in the Amazon only to come crawling back 12 months later, tail between your legs begging for your old position back. If you don’t take the risk, you will stay exactly where you are. Safely tucked away in your office cubicle day after day after day until you finally retire 40 years later. Why on earth would you want anything out of life other than a completely predictable outcome?

3. You won’t get weird looks from people.

You want to move to Costa Rica and open a yoga retreat? Be prepared for some eye rolls and barely concealed sniggers. People will look at you strangely and they will think you are weird. You will stand out from the crowd and become a target for ridicule by your friends and family. Not to mention what on earth the neighbors would think. Think how awkward it will be when you find out that you are the talk of the town and people just cannot comprehend why on earth you would want to give up your safe and comfortable life to move to a third world country.

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4. If you never try then you will never fail.

If you don’t pursue your dreams in life then there is virtually a 99.9% chance that you will never fail. Think about it. Never failing. Never having to put in all that effort only for it to fall flat. If you live a life that involves taking no risks you know exactly where you stand. You can predict that in 20 years time you will be doing exactly what you are doing now, only with a few more wrinkles. Think how comfortable and safe a life free of any type of failure would feel as you slide into old age.

5. You will leave a legacy of stability.

Just think of the example you will be setting for your kids, friends and loved ones. They will learn to treasure the important things in life such as routine, predictability and sticking with what you know. They will learn to play it small in life and never to take risks. They will learn that although they may have wanted desperately to be a singer when they were eight years old, it’s just not a realistic life choice. They will learn to lock up these lofty aspirations into the deep recesses of their mind and limit their singing to the shower. After all, does the world really need another Lady GaGa?

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Do I need any more reasons to convince you that living the life of your dreams is just not worth pursuing? Stay safe, play it safe and you will never know anything more about yourself than you know now. Draw that comfort zone nice and tight around you as you relax on the couch for the latest episode of The Voice. When it comes down to it, isn’t watching everybody else chase their dreams far more fun than actually doing it yourself?

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Last Updated on September 17, 2018

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck

Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.

Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.

When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).

Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:

1. You’re depressed about your home life.

No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.

However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.

If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.

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When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.

You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.

2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.

Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.

If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.

You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.

If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.

3. You can’t stop snooping.

Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.

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I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.

Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.

So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.

It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.

If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.

4. You’re afraid of commitment.

If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.

Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.

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No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.

If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.

Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.

5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.

If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.

Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.

Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.

Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.

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If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?

6. You resent, rather than love your partner.

When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.

When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.

If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

7. You chase past feelings.

It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.

You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.

When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.

Final thoughts

If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.

Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com

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